My Happinesss Project May 2017

"It's the storm not you thats bound to blow away."  Secret Garden

Spirituality and prayer for the month of May has brought to my mind and heart my testimony, questions of faith and the reminder that we need to be those people others can hold on to during their storms; we are often called on to be "angels" to help others. It's much easier to do this IF we are getting to know each other before the storms come.

In May my Happiness Project was to seek Spiritual experiences Faith and Prayer seem to be what I wrote about last in my blog.  I can't tell you how amazed I am at how these topics fit together with my life as it is happening. 

I have been gone for 2 months.  I went to stay with my daughter who was having my 9th babygrand!  So without my computer I switched over to the paper version bought a whole new planner and really kept some good records, thoughts and well I did my Happiness Project the same but different.  Now I am home and I am reading my last blog entry, recognizing without remembering or knowing I WAS and AM on the same track - I love it! #MyHappinessProject is working and I am finding My Happiness!

"Faith Must be accompanied by action or it isn't faith at all."  https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/04/the-just-shall-live-by-faith?lang=eng

Jul 16

Last week we were asked to talk about what we learned while we lived in SR first ward!  So as I sat in Sacrament mtg, after not being there for 2 whole months I observed and searched to "feel" something, asking myself that question.

Then during the week I fasted and prayed about a direction to go and was led to a talk by President Hinckley. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/04/the-miracle-of-faith?lang=eng    Today I pray that I can say something that will bless all of us who read or re read this later a faith promoting, testimony growing life experience.  (I don't ask for much do i?)

Just to be clear I am looking for more spirituality in my life but I need to say upfront I have a testimony I haven’t said that alot lately,  I think maybe I’ve felt a bit stifled and like I haven’t had “visionary” testimony experiences so I have remained quiet. I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon, of A Prophet on the earth today, Of Prophets being in the scriptures just as much in the Bible as in the Book of Mormon and in our present day.  I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that because of His atonement I am given the agency to repent.  The Holy Ghost the third member of the Godhead has confirmed these things to me in my heart and in my mind.   I also know without a shadow of doubt, that Heavenly Father placed us here to learn and to grow.  Now it’s time for us to move on, it’s bittersweet. I totally love where we live.  I can see where I have gotten a little lax with my testimony and my service, I blame it on the Island life of where I live!!!   It’s been a tuff transition for me going from being a full time mom to being a retired mom. I’ve struggled lets just say that.  When you feel your worth is one thing be it a teacher, a provider, or a mom when that one thing is over, well as I said - I've struggled.  But I have come to believe that Heavenly Father does not want me to be a "One Hit Wonder"! That none of us are one hit wonders.  The thought of moving has kicked me into gear, why you ask? Because I want something from Heavenly Father and when that happens you or at least I start to self examine.  Because of that I am asking myself what is faith?  I am asking myself this for a few reasons I won’t take the time to go into here but I am grateful for the opportunity this project has given me to do my research asking myself who has "it" and how does "it" get expressed?  President Hinckley said “Faith is evidenced in all we DO…Faith is the basis of testimony. Faith underlies loyalty to the church. Faith represents sacrifice, gladly given in moving forward the work of the Lord.” 

In May Richard and I went on a little drive toBluffUtah. It’s in South East corner of Utah - a place where my great grandparents were sent by Brigham Young to settle and build the kingdom. We went away asking ourselves why? Why were they sent there? In the Present day there is a fort there now where they lived that is a mission, a visitors center there lives are still being lived there in this little tiny dirt town.  These were pioneers, my first ancestors to join the church and come from wales and end up following the prophets call to settle that corner of Utah.  Now to me that is FAITH, it is also A move of choice because of their faith.   Neil L. Anderson said in 2015 https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/faith-is-not-by-chance-but-by-choice?lang=eng   “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is not something floating loosely in the air. Faith does not fall upon us by chance or stay with us by birthright. It is, as the scriptures say, “substance …, the evidence of things not seen.”Faith emits a spiritual light, and that light is discernible.Faith in Jesus Christ is a gift from heaven that comes as we choose to believe and as we seek it and hold on to it. Your faith is either growing stronger or becoming weaker. Faith is a principle of power, important not only in this life but also in our progression beyond the veil.By the grace of Christ, we will one day be saved through faith on His name. The future of your faith is not by chance, but by choice.”

My husband is our families first pioneer, because I am moving and packing I ran across a letter he wrote to our son "The (power) of the priesthood has become an extension, like having an extra arm. It has become a part of me. I know that by being worthy and having the priesthood, anything can be done. It is having that knowledge, a strong faith, a desire to do right, and a willingness to serve that will ultimately bring you happiness." It made me so happy to read this letter, to hear and recognize my husbands testimony and to remember the importance it was to him and our son at that time on his 12th birthday. And it's and additional layer of happiness because today is the 12th bday of our oldest grandson.  I invite you to write down how you feel about, what your testimony is of the priesthood, or anything that you really believe in.  From My man I’ve learned so much, but lately my favorite thing I’ve learned is his words “if you are afraid to or just don’t take the time to talk to people you come to church with how do you expect to talk to people in the neighborhood, store, office, school or the world, going to church is  is suppose to be our safe space.”  I love that!!!  Thank you hon for being my pioneer of faith.

What I've learned from the people I go to church with while I've lived here...

• I went with Debbie Merriman to visit all kinds of people in all kinds of places it was exciting she showed me the ease and importance of meeting people knocking on doors and visiting with people that might be lost or that we just hadn’t met yet.  I'll never forget that and always appreciate her for dragging me along with her.
• Saundra and Sister Wixom showed me how import it is to invite people into your home making them feel welcome.
• The Jones Family showed me thru their actions the importance of speaking to people at church and even at the dairy queen bringing new members to church.
• I have phone anxiety I'm afraid to call on it or answer it! - I know Lame! but Emily Barnett visit taught me with friendship and heart allowing me to feel the ease and the importance of said friendship enough that I actually got the nerve to call her for a favor and she stepped right up.
• I grew up and married living in the same ward for 25 years, it's made me sad that I have not had that to raise my kids. But! We've seen and learned somethings and more importantly met people, that in one way or another changed improved influenced our lives. It's ok to move around and I've started to think … we live on the 3-4 year mission transfer schedule!!! Recently My son told me "and that's ok mom!" 
• One of the most spiritual best meetings I've ever been to was the frank and humble patriotic talks given by brother Donohue and Quezada 
• We watched and observed Justin Yeates be a great home teacher and example to his son.   I can see he will be great with the youth
• Deann Fendlay showed me that being in the nursery is a wonderful place to be
• From this ward I learned to love and Really enjoy the music between meetings more should participate and really sing while just the teachers leave quietly! for Primary and sunday school. Last week we sang Hymn 302 

1. I know my Father lives and loves me too.

The Spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true,

And tells me it is true.

2. He sent me here to earth, by faith to live his plan.

The Spirit whispers this to me and tells me that I can,

And tells me that I can.

• I hope we listen when we can and then "Do"  remember - Faith is an action word.
• Bonnie Walker ❤️  what a rock a spiritual rock and example to me an example of a great mom and wife.
• Michelle a pioneer in the gospel herself she’s so good for me. I grew up in the church so I loved being with her and seeing her perspective and the importance of service in the community paralleled with her service in the ward not just One or the other.  
• Testimony and endurance from sister chambers
• Hovendens throw great parties and as a ward we are blessed to be invited
• But mostly I hope I've learned The importance of having a calling and doing it not shutting down and hiding out.  Seeing the importance and order of the "organizations" in the church and not having paid positions.
• Seasons of life move quickly to figure them out don't wait for something different or "better" in your own mind keep moving forward with Faith. 
• Been very grateful that the bishop kept My man busy and involved, it meant more to me than anything these last few years.  When you have adult children and they go away and are in other wards where they aren’t used and don’t have callings and you see them slip away. Words just can't express the heartache and sadness that brings to a mom.   I have a testimony of the importance of serving. 

The faith of my pioneer ancestors to give service even with sacrifice. I have failed at this in my need to lick the wounds of my children actually growing up and leaving home I had told a friend, Sister Redding that when I come back from my daughters this time I will be all in and now I’m leaving I want her to know it was important for me to say that to her outloud and to be accountable and I pray that all of us will move forward in faith like those of the first pioneer in our family and be accountable say it out loud; "I AM ALL IN".  

Pres Hinckley said; “Pioneers journey to the valley of the great salt lake is an epic without parallel. Their journey to the valley of the Great Salt Lake is an epic without parallel. The suffering they endured, the sacrifices they made, became the cost of what they believed.

I have in my office a small statue of my own pioneer grandfather burying beside the trail his wife and her brother who died on the same day. He then picked up his infant child and carried her to this valley.

Faith? There can be no doubt about it. When doubts arose, when tragedies struck, the quiet voice of faith was heard in the stillness of the night as certain and reassuring as was the place of the polar star in the heavens above.

…It is the faith within us that is evidenced in all we do.”

In conclusion of my May Spiritual thru Prayer thought here today, I want to remind us we don't know who is watching us, the impressions we are making. We don't know who may be listening or reading our posts, tweets or instagram.  Imagine we are pioneers - for aren't we when it comes to technology?  In 150 plus or minus years what will be said about our FAITH when the posts are being read?  Let us endure- It is my righteous desire to have "No empty chairs" when is comes to my family on the other side of the veil.

Is it Hope or Faith?

I am watching Toy Story 3 with my babygrands, I just love spending time with them.  Movies are a way of life in "TheNana" and Larkin household!  This story seemed a tad bit scary and so I am holding on to Pax when she looks up at me and says the cutest thing.  I thought at the time, very telling;  "we better pray to Jesus we don't have bad dreams tonight".  

Well you know me and my dreams anyway!!! Soooo I HEARD this thought it spoke to me, because of who I am.

I hope you are asking why do I think that is telling?  My point is just that. 

• First she was scared and her first thought was to pray to Jesus.  
• Second she had FAITH that He would hear her and help her to not have bad dreams.
• Third there is HOPE.  Now to me at that moment I could see the difference between faith and hope for some reason.

FAITH

1.    complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

synonyms:

trust, belief, confidence, conviction

HOPE
1.    a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

She expected that Jesus would be there, she trusted to turn to him and had confidence He would help her. She also had a desire to not have bad dreams and expected a result. It seemed so simple a definition of Faith and hope, I love learning from my babygrands and I love it when the spirit teaches me quietly even during a scary movie!

and in the end I was bawling my eyes out I hate it when my kids leave!!!!   

He's a Distraction

Yep!  I had another dream!!!!

In this dream I see a traveler. Long road canyons, rivers, mountains and trees, cant see who it is, but the scenery is beautiful.

The family is at an event.  I can't tell what it is and we seem to be inside and outside.
  
Then the POWER to the whole place goes off and we move the event, it first looks like a drive Inn then it turns into an inside movie theater.  I can see lots of seats. not so many people.  it's dark I can feel the darkness.  A girl is talking to someone but she has her arms stiff out in front of her.  

She leaves to go outside to see / talk to a guy on a motorcycle!  The sky is blue the grass is tall and yellow they seem to be rather tense.  
I go out to talk to her and I see myself shaking my finger at her like a lecture.  

Then I see a little blonde girl with a white sign the letters are written with Red paint and on it say "Bulbs / Flowers for sale Satsop Bulb farm".  I talked to her I'm not sure what was said but it completely changed my mood.  

So I go sit down to talk to the girl (it's Ayris) explaining she needs to not keep people at arms length so strongly and that the guy on the motorcycle is a "distraction" she needs to get back over to the people, the "event" and be Fun, look fun and be interested in other people.  She should try it out = much like planting a seed to see if it will grow, she could just try it to see if it changed her outlook on life.

When I come back into the theater it's dark again I can feel the darkness.  people are starting to mingle now more people are coming in and out then I see the girl talking and laughing with other girls and boys.  

I see a sparkle in her eye, she definitely has a sparkle in her eye and just as I see it,  the place lights up. 
The Power is back on the light is there again!  The traveler is there now, he is talking to her in the circle of friends they are one and having fun, I try to see who they are, who he is, but I can't....

I'm awake!

I feel like as I write these dreams down, I am seeing the same props (if you will!) and do you know how long it takes me to find the image that really represents what I saw in my dream?  Ridiculous!!!!  Weird, frustrating, interesting, enlightening - I don't know, maybe someday when I look back I'll understand them all!!!

Interp:

Motorcycle - To see or ride a motorcycle in your dream symbolizes your desire for freedom and need for adventure. You may be trying to escape from some situation or some other responsibility in your waking life...maybe you're moving to fast.

Highway - to see a highway in your dream represents your sense of direction and your life's path. Consider the conditions of the highway which will reveal how much you feel in charge of your life. A smooth, straight highway signifies inner peace, while a winding, bumpy road reflects emotional distress/disharmony.

Movie Theater -To dream that you are in a movie theater indicates that you are attempting to protect yourself from your emotions and/or actions. Your subconscious is trying to protect you from experiencing them directly.

The Power is OFF - To dream that the electricity is fried or out indicates your lack of insight and perspective on a situation. 

 so in retrospect after I've writeen this all out as they say "Whats that mean?!!!

If it's Not One Thing it's Another!

Hold On, Hold On the Light will come... (good song too Youtube it!)

I feel tension all the way over here in my basement!  
So, let me start with 3 Nephi 11:29 
For verily verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, behold this is not my doctrine...  

and ask for us to not have contention between us as a family members especially and then say a prayer before I start writing and before you start reading....

So to begin with I'm investigating, searching, learning, defining.... 

definition of Testimony - a statement or declaration, evidence of support of fact or statement of truth used under oath or in Faith of God 

definition of Polygamy is to have more than one spouse/Partners. But polygamy itself has different types or ways to live it...

• polygany: What most of religious sectors practice,Man with multiples wives, and can be pre-determinated amount of wives (like Islam) or undetermined number of wives (like Bible)
• Polyandry: Women with multiples husbands, isnt so commum but it is practice in certain cultures( in Asia and africa)and some pagan cults
• Polyamory: is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Many contend that it is distinct from both swinging (which often emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational) or with 
• Polysexual (which is attraction towards multiple genders and/or sexes) encompassing or characterized by many different kinds of sexuality not simplified by the term bi-sexual.

Ok so see I'm already learning! and this is just how I have to do this  - be patient with me and Thank you for asking questions - for I am slothful and need causes, focus a push to go and study for the most part.  I do like learning, it's just such a task and requires so much concentration on my part (I think Ayris might have that gene too)!  

• Covenant: an agreement between God and Man, but they do not act as equals in the agreement.  God gives the conditions for the covenant, and men (Or women) agree to do what he asks them to do. God then promises certain blessings for their obedience.  Much like an earthly contract - you get something (electricity, house, car etc) promise to pay the bill, and if you don't the owner of the contract will turn it off or kick you out!  (see that's how I understand it or relate to it!).
• http://www.lds.org/ensign/1985/08/what-i-hope-you-will-teach-your-children-about-the-temple?lang=eng
• Service:Care given or work done for the benefit of God or others. As we serve others we serve God.
• LORD - all caps in the Bible = Jesus Christ

Ok I'm reading links and blogs and web pages  -  Can I just say - Really I am grateful that I am a simple minded person.  That I am blessed with a seed of Faith already in me - I know that I am, I have to have been to be where I am at in my life spiritually, I am grateful for that blessing.

Tuesday night we went to the Temple, this time I went with the intention of getting answers!  We are taught to go with a specific question, I don't always do that but I did on Tuesday...

• One of my Questions was Why do we do this, go to the Temple? Why do we come here and do the same thing over and over again.  But then we go to church every sunday and do the same thing there to right?  I never question that?
• my second question came from seminary - Why does the Church get a bad rap, bad press you know look awful and nonsensical in the media?

I must try to explain that I felt totally drained when the session was over.  The first impression I had was "We come to the Temple to give service." (Like real words someone talking to me in my head.)  It's a sacrifice of time to go and do this.  It does take an effort and is rewarding, it brings peace to my soul.  Because each time when I go back I am going in place of someone else, it truly is an act of service.  I'm not very good at that (as I've discussed before) so YaY! go me I'm doing service.

So Ok that answered that for me. simple.

But then throughout the session I kept hearing seeing feeling more things like we are there to learn, we are taught about the creation, charity, choice and accountability, purpose on the earth, we make covenants to do those things and to be moral, The purpose of Joy but that we can't have it without sorrow, instructed what to do to get back to be with our families, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven.

• Today I was given an article an essay if you will that explained the idea of joy and sorrow to me and the consequence of choice and the reason for knowing and trusting God and Jesus Christ well enough to get thru and do all of this.  A small excerpt was stated like this and yet there was so much more good stuff (so I have included a link to it at the bottom of the paragraph....  
• "God apparently uses such a unique and uniquely troubling test because it is the only way to teach us something paradoxical but true and very important about the universe — that trust in our personal experiences with divinity must sometimes outweigh our rational morality. Obedience to the divine commands that come directly to us must sometimes supersede our understanding of earlier commands if we are ever to transcend the human limitations of even our best inherited culture and religion. We must learn, sometimes very painfully, to be open to continuous revelation. We must learn such a lesson partly because truth and history are too complex to be reduced to simple, irrevocable com­mandments — even from past prophets — like “Thou shalt not kill” or “Thou shalt always have only one spouse.” Truth is ultimately “rational,” but it is not always or immediately clear to our present reason."

http://www.eugeneengland.org/on-fidelity-polygamy-and-celestial-marriage   - thanks anona  It's kinda over my head but a good read and plenty for me to study and reread.  I thought it worth the effort. 

Which leads me to my next question - and an answer in one eternal, what does he call it? paradox!  One reason we get bad press, a bad rap don't look good to the world.  I remember that Ayris did a paper and a illustration board to go with it for a display and grade required for History in Junior High.  She did this report on the Mormon trek west in 1846 - 47 her grade was dropped a whole level because she "left out the fact that mormons believe in Polygamy".  So let's talk about that for a second!  Well I've found out today that The World and Religion as a whole have used polygamy at times for different reasons and different purposes I listed some definitions at the beginning maybe they caught your eye, maybe not feel free to re read them now!  So I've been reading off and on since Friday or Saturday night about this topic and really most of this day for more knowledge more answers mainly to confirm what I already do or do not believe I guess.

1. FIrst of all I have found that you can find anything on the internet - anything from Doctrine to - can I say BS? probably not in this blog so let's leave it at - ANYTHING.  I like the quote "Philosophies of Men mingled with scripture".  Although I also understand that Doctrine and BS are relative to what you are looking for and believe.
2.  The fact is and the thing I don't get is the stories are all the same, why is it all confusing anyway?  The scriptures don't change, so why do people really get confused and give us a hard time? for instance; In the Old testament the Prophets talked to God face to face, they got commandement and gave them to the people, they prayed for the people to repent, they (some of them at different times) lived Polygamy Abraham, Jacob and other ancient prophets had plural wives.  Abraham had 2 or 3 and Jacob his grandson had 4 thru these 4 wives we have the 12 tribes of Israel thru them we have covenants and the Priesthood.  A line of heritage, lineage links to blessings.
3. Prophets throughout the scriptures made mistakes.  God needed different wives for different lineage, the lineage travels thru the Mother. I always find it interesting and sometimes question the way that life plays out and then remember that God knew that was going to happen.  I have asked why didn't He just say the second son would always inherit because so many times the first son screws up?  Dare to not judge them. FREE AGENCY. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1984/12/early-signs-of-the-apostasy?lang=eng They had to do things I don't ever want to have to do - ever.  We are the "natural man" we have to and it's part of the Plan to learn to choose Light or Darkness.  I just know I would never have believed I'd live in Valley Nebraska!  I just had to come to earth to see it  happen, to believe it for myself and answer for it!!!  We will talk more about the steps to Apostasy another day.

Well, I've thought and considered and reconsidered this today.  I guess I'm coming back to what I tell my children when they leave the house, "remember who you are" and "You can always find what you are looking for no matter where you are."  I know that I've had to find my own testimony of what I believe.  I've learned that for me I need to do it "ONE THING" at a time.  I've had spiritual experiences to confirm knowledge of a few things, I've had scriptures teach me a few more things, Life teaches me something every day, IF I LET IT... but that's the thing. "IF" I let it.  I can question I can be negative and bitter and - what is it called - a skeptic  - but why? Why not have HOPE.  
The first time I felt hope, that I HAD to feel hope and not be a skeptic was when my sister died If the scriptures hadn't helped me - I read Ether 12:4-7, well I don't want to share exactly where I'd be and I know where that is, cuz I went there when my Daddy died, this was worse and I couldn't go back. 
 Satan is like a Vampire - he has to be invited in. Don't do it.

4Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with ^asurety ^bhopefor a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which ^chope cometh of ^dfaith, maketh an ^eanchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in ^fgood works, being led to ^gglorify God.

 5 And it came to pass that Ether did prophesy great and marvelous things unto the people, which they did not believe, because they ^asaw them not.

 6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

 7 For it was by faith that Christ showed himself unto our fathers, after he had risen from the dead; and he showed not himself unto them until after they had faith in him; wherefore, it must needs be that some had faith in him, for he showed himself ^anot unto the world.

Ok this you can't judge, cuz this is said from my heart with all sincerity;

I went there (to the dark once or twice) because I didn't have a sure enough foundation, an anchor, a faith or a hope or a knowledge of really any "One Thing" except maybe that my Mom was a wonderful faithful heartwarming woman who unconditionally loved me.  I now have Faith in the Scriptures.  I have Faith in promises.  I have watched my sons go on missions grow and change and become converted, I seen my daughters go through crazy life crisises and I've read of the General Authorities between them all I've seen and felt miracles - preaching the gospel, testifying of Christ, Going and Doing.  Personally I believe we can't do our own miracles or get those revelations because we aren't that close to God and Jesus Christ Daily because - we aren't exerting ourselves. 
Just like any motivational speaker or testimony giver I pray and encourage us to exert ourselves every day for the Good, towards Light. This I do know - that when I question, doubt, judge others - I can't breathe, life sucks and darkness falls around me.  Believe me I know I have a long way to go, I have issues and Big Fatty problems - I could, we could fall but it's step by step not a big drop into the dark side, when we loose our families, loose our belief system and once we go there our pride our vanity our lack of willpower and self esteem keeps us there and then what, then we have nothing. The other thing is we are individuals we learn at different paces we understand at different levels we aren't always ready to hear truths and without the Holy Ghost without asking for the Holy Ghost to help us learn that confirmation, that peace and burning and answer aren't going to be there.
It sounds so simple to just say  - either Joseph Smith saw 2 Heavenly Beings and was handed the keys to the Temple by more Heavenly Beings and all that was seen by witnesses who whether they still go to church or not never denied that it happened or it didn't.  But it is that simple  - to me anyway and only because it's one of my "ONE Things" -  it's all in the scriptures we don't need to keep Deseret Book or the Internet or any anti material in business - just read your scriptures and Pray, pray often, with real intent ask your questions there on your knees in prayer and Do It always and Fast, (don't eat - not in a hurry!) fast for yourself and for others, take your questions to the Temple if you can go there. 
Believe me I don't want anyone digging into my mistakes and playing telephone tag with what they learn or anything like unto it and it's my opinion that we all make mistakes and that people are stupid and spread, embellish, blow out of proportion those mistakes and hand them down for generations - after all I am a McCoy I've seen it, I've lived it.   I don't wish that on anyone.  
The gospel is out there in it's many many forms, President Hinckley taught that all religions have a portion of the truth we just want to add to what they already have.  I believe that "One Thing" along with many other "one things" I've added to my foundation along the way One brick at a time.
I believe in the stories in the scriptures even though I don't have a memory and I have to study for hours to remember them to comprehend them to reconfirm their truth, I do believe in their "types and shadows" and in their "patterns". 
Oh my babies! and my family and friends please, keep searching - that is a good character trait - a talent if you will, don't let it turn into a "weakness".  Find that "One thing" that you know is true or that you can just "believe in" today and make it be positive and full of light, something that brings you JOY and not just happiness (for Joy is long lasting - happiness is fleeting) and especially if you think you discovered something knew don't let it bring you pain (if you feel pain, notice depression or darkness RUN!) and do it everyday - EVERYDAY find joy and light carry that image of Christ with you and your day, week, life will be better.  Amen

I hope it makes sense to someone out there I know I learned alot and I'm going to try harder to study and pray more everyday.  

thank you for your questions keep asking them - in the light! Hold on to the Light, cuz truly if it's not One Thing it's Another!

Which way Do You Lean???

 SO this morning I watched The Lorax.  Really it was the 3rd time I tried to watch it, sure not my fav!!!  I just want to document the ONE THING I got out of it

"Which way do trees fall?  They fall the way they lean.  Be careful which way you Lean!"

It goes to the Root of my belief system!  Tradition.

• T =  Teach with the spirit and Keep your sense of HUMOR!  about yourself and EVERYONE around You.
• R =  Reason for rules and regulation Be Obedient.
• A = Axiom; "Birds of a feather flock together"  and "REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!"
• D = Dogma; faith is not a perfect knowledge, hoped for and not seen
• I = Instill the desire to be proud of where you come from
• T = Tongue is sharper than a beating
• I = Implant roots that will grow and hold strong
• O = knOw when to share your Opinion and when not too! But hold on to the ONE thing that you believe in.
• N = Never give up ;)  on Yourself or the ones you LOVE ((or even if you don't love them))  

because ...   unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing is going to get better and all your trees will fall and you will have nothing to show for your life. All your roots will be pulled from the ground and your traditions will not be re-rooted!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PF0h7oqUEQ

I am grateful for "O" - Optimism

I am grateful for the attitude of Optimism

I am probably not a very optimistic person.  Someone ask me why I don't come out of my house more, do more with other people? - my answer to her that day was "People are stupid",   it's kinda haunted me that I actually said that out loud or that I even thought it.  Since then I've been more aware of that tough and attempted to be more optimistic and have more faith in people.  After all my mom raised me with a couple poems about that, that should have helped me since I know the poems and President Hinckley said the following about it;

 "We have so much to live for, so much to hope for!  Humanity is essentially good.  We are all of one great family.  We can give strength to the voice of hope. We can give thanks to those who work for peace. We can give added attention to those who feed the hungry and bind up the wounds of conflict. To the extent we cultivate this virtue of OPTIMISM, we will bless all the word's people!"

and Mother taught me:

Mr Meant-to has a comrade,
And his name is Didn't-do;
Have you ever chanced to meet them?

Did they ever call on you?


These two fellows live together

In the house of Never-win, 

And I'm told that it is haunted,

By the ghost of Might-have-been.

And

"Cynics do not contribute, skeptics do not create, doubters do not achieve."  idk who said this  (mom)!

And

"A young couple came to see me a while ago.  Six months earlier, they had been married. They had declared their love one for another. They had pledged their loyalty one to another. Now, the young man came to my office disillusioned, bitter, and heartbroken. His wife, he said, did this and that -- simple little things of small consequence, such as leaving the dishes undone when she left for work in the morning.  And nothing seemed to make her happy. Then his wife came in, a beautiful girl of great talent. She spoke of her husband's faults. He was stingy. He did not pick up his clothes. He was careless. Each had his or her faults, every one of which was easily correctable. The problem lay in the fact that these two had a stronger inclination to emphasize each other's faults than to talk of their respective virtues. With a little discipline, each could have changed. WIth a little desire, each could have spoken with a different tone.   But neither was willing. They had permitted a negative attitude and outlook to destroy the sweetest, richest association of life. They had thrown away with careless and sour words the hopes and dreams of eternity. With criticism and shouting, they had violated the most sacred of all relationships.  Criticism and pessimism destroys families, undermine institutions of all kins, defeat nearly everyone and spread a shroud of gloom over entire nations." 

--Gordon B Hinckley

My plea, my pray is for me and you to find the good, be positive, be still in the noise and look for the positive -

 BE OPTIMISTIC!

Fast oft and have Faith

FAITH.  What is faith?  
That is the question that I went out with the Sisters to discuss with new friends in the community.  The scriptures say that faith is the evidence of things hoped for that are not seen.  What are choices that we make - in faith of the result?!?!  I send Amric off to school each day in faith that he will go there, participate, do his homework and receive an education!  I fast oft, in hope of peace and a spiritual experience.  I do things, in Faith thinking that a blessing or just the mere fact that I am being obedient will get me a good result.  THUS, Faith is an ACTION word.    I can say that it was such a spiritual experience last night sharing my testimony with this family that we taught about Jesus Christ, that I'd like to document it here tonight. 
I totally believe in the Bible, I love the stories of the Old Testament.  In the scriptures of the old world God speaks to Adam, to Moses, to all the Prophets why wouldn't He speak to and continue to have a Prophet on the earth still today?  To me, it just makes sense. 
The Book of Mormon is a record of scripture of people that came from the Old World (the times of the Old Testament).  The tower of Babel was one time that people were separated and spilt off into different directions.  Another time was in the time period of Jeremiah and Ezekiel and Lehi was a Prophet, he was told  to take his family and leave.  They do so and come to the Americas where they meet people who have already been here too.  All this because of FAITH, this family had faith to go and do.
I guess in all of this my biggest action of faith is my hope in eternal marriage and family.  These days marriage is a joke, it is laughed at on TV and mocked in all ways.  People take the easy way out leaving is the easy way out and shows NO Faith in God, family, or each other. 
As we spoke with this family last night Ed said "Whats the point if this life is all there is?"  I say exactly.  James 1:6
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.