Who do you love and WHY?

My kinda Man, These things I love...

Where did you get your list of Character traits you want in a spouse?  What is, or was the list like that you made of that special someone out there in your future that you "wanted to be with for eternity"?
A really good book?  I'm sure Apryl has a list from some Jane Austin Book or Doctor Who! How bout a movie, soap operas, a TV show, Maybe more appropriately a Father or Mother
Where or where???  Were you always rootin for the bad guy? Did you pick the Vixen or the the "Love to Hate him guy"? Was your person to beat all persons the Diva or the honorable clean cut guy? Did you always root for the couple that shouldn't be together but you love the Drama! or Turn off or close the book because you just couldn't stand that "they" were together.  Maybe when "that couple" you love was finally together you stop watching or listening because you want your own "Happily everafter".  Who was the couple you always set your goals and dreams to be like to exemplify? To reflect.  The notebook? Your parents?

In 2 Timothy 3:1-7 it warns of a whole slew of chartacter traits that we should avoid that hopefully nobody sets the goal to be like or around to exemply or reflect in any way.
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
 7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

So with my past experience and all the lists collected over the decades of my life, I've created a list of character traits and the role models I learned them from. I think together it would make the Perfect Eternal Companion - so here goes, just for fun!!!

Ricky: first love, well he was trouble - avoid trouble no when to shut the door! He loved my mom and was kind to her.
Maurice: loves his wife and kids - good dad - honors his priesthood

Blaine taylor: reeked of really good taste in cars!

Jesse: a compassionate listener, not only Temple worthy, but attends the Temple often

Christian: a kind teacher

Tyler: charastamatic and an enthusiastic convert creative hardworker

Ron: trustworthy, a desire to go and do family history
Logan: athletic and competitive honors his priesthood
Mikel: integrity
Zane: provider and protector, staunch, isn't afraid to whoop your BUTT if you have hurt someone he cares about

Earl: stalwart COWBOY!, endured to the end.

Austin: smart , provider, funny honors his parents

Hyrum: sense of humor and both of us love his mother
Tom: Protector fun loving cowboy!
Buddy: Trustworthy, candid
jWayne: loves to sing, great friend

Ben: humble, a good friend, honors, his priesthood
Seane: Affectionate, peacemaker

Colin: a gentelman
Amric: sincere, warrior, honest, loves from the bottom of his heart, hard worker, dedicated, determined
Matthew: sensitive, honors his parents
Deacon: Spontaneous he's "Done Talkin'"!

Robert: Romantic

Kirk: Willing to go the distance to surprise me, confident

Paul: welcoming, concerned for well-being

Brandon: likes to watch my TV with me

Calvin: loves my family, hard worker, good businssman, we both love his mom!

Jake: a protector sense of humor honorable priesthood holder
Curt: A leader in Righteousness - Family Prayer and prayed with kids by bed every night

Terry: honest and a desire to serve a mission
Timmy: Captain and defender of country

Sean: repentant
Otis: Frugal, knows how to budget

Darcy: non judgmental

Glenn: DANG FUN! Spoiled me :) Integrity

Bryan: Does his calling

Vincent: patient and Generous, Family First
Tod: kind, wants the best for you, willing to lend a hand when needed

Olaf: thinker, family man, fun

Dave: honest - Great Ethics

Richard: Provider, forgiving and loves me more than anyone else! (I just can't not have that!)

Being the Right Person is just as important if not more than "finding the right person", so all these character traits I want in my man, I need to develop in myself.  This is who I strive to be (I've got along way to go!);

Proverbs 31

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

AGAIN - wish me luck!!!

We are all working at being better people
and being with the ONEs we LOVE.

ideas for reference other than mine!--

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2008/10/preparing-yourself-for-marriage

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2002/09/choosing-and-being-the-right-spouse 

Happy Birthday Sean

Sean and Apryl meet The Alien!

Apryl will you Marry Me?

We first met Sean Larkin in Roswell New Mexico!

The family and friends of
The Bride and Groom Las Vegas

Magic Mountain 2 months married!

In Washington they Fish!   DRIVE Ayris!

Sean goes platinum while 
Family and Friends gather to send
Austin off on his mission to Bilboa Spain 2003

The Family gives Thanks! 2011

A Family reunion of sorts 2012

I love to see the Temple -
they'll go inside someday!

Sean wears Amric and Hugs Apryl

We love our Sean.  He takes good care of our Apryl and His babies. So grateful that he loves us too.

Sean is Royalty

They Travel, Her life long dream!

Some say that opposites attract. I say that even in their differences the are perfect together.  Everyday I thank God that they found each other and had the good sense to hang on.  They are indeed having quite a ride.  Adventure is out there for all of us, these two embrace it, fly over it, crawl under it dive into it and then crawl under the sheets and enjoy it! (that ones for you seaneee!)  We love you!!!

FAMILY

The Families retreat - Washington 2007

 Always doing with the kids; teaching, supporting, loving.

Gage  

Pax
A great example a worthy priesthood holder An Accountant!

Now what do we do?

DO IT!

Utah

Grenta

They DO IT all TOGETHER!

Sean loves his Father-in-law!!!

Father and Son...

Proud Father

Their new way of life!

So excited for snow in Washington

Please Eat!  I don't know how to do this!!!

picture perfect!

This is how we row!

This is how we dress

This is how we relax!

these are the next generation LARKIN!

Thanks for the memeories!!  We love you son, our Sean too,   Remember Who you are and who you belong to!  Have a great day, don't do anything I wouldn't do! Oh wait!!! You will!!  Love, The Mom!

"Sandwich Generation"

At first I was labeled "the tail end of the Baby Boomers",
 but today I understand I have a new label  "The Sandwich Generation"

I was told once that "you can only have 1 queen in a kitchen" let me tell ya I've learned that the hard way by having One Aunt, a mother-in-law and My own sweet Mother living in my kitchen!!!!!    Let's go to the old school paper journals I have a few .........

My friend Debbie used to come over cuz she said I made the best sandwiches!
 I guess if I can have cheese on it everything will be ok!!!

One entry goes like this... 

My dear sweet Mother
towards the end of her life

•  2006 "having a hard time going home this time.  I feel sadness, emptiness and some kind of longing this day as I leave Apryl and Vaughn.  Not sure why or what it is about?  She seems so sad and lonely.  I am worried inside about her, my heart and mind concerned for her well being. I love and admire Apryl Ann, I love talking and hanging out with her.  What a awesome spirit she is. I admire her 'sense and Sensibility'!!!!  But...   I have to go home, back to care for Mom.  It's so sad to see her everyday and how she is now. She never wanted to end up where and how she is. ... I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone and everything most often I feel stuck in the middle, it wears on ya!  She fell and broke her hip. She always said she did not want to EVER have a hip or knew replacement.  They said they had to do it.  I asked if they had to? the nurse looked at me like - you horrible idiot person "Her hip is broken".  Of couse they had to do the surgery.  I just knew she had said she never ever wanted to do it. They knocked her out, she didn't know us. She was back in the room at midnight.  She and I hand in hand I stayed with her all night.  Every time she would come to I would retell her where she was and what had happened.  She came too more so in the day she did not know me. She is hateful argumentative even physically! It's awful. like I said I'm having a hard time keeping up."

   My Aunt is a wonderful wonderful person, but she can be a little exhausting and eccentric!!!  WHen she came to live with us she had had a knee replacement and as the 5 years of caring for her progressed we discovered she had gotten a staff infection while having the surgery and so she suffered much pain and death by infection.  This entry goes like this....

"up off and on every two hours last night.  Then up this morning to help Auntie to the bathroom get her her kleenexs, some breakfast and prep her for shower, get her to do some exercises - all the while getting ayris and amric ready for school checking on Mom and making lunches!  and then say "I'll be back in 15 Auntie gotta take the kids to school."  Husband? do I even have a husband??? In 15 - I'm back, she is freaking out, no I mean freaking out!!! because "I was gone too long and Mom had not even looked in on her"!  Today I worked on Mutual for the YW and asked that they come to the house tonight, cuz everytime I leave auntie freaks out with anxiety so much that I do not know what to do with her.  I'm to tired to move, so I eat to keep awake, I'm divided so thinly between everyone - I've gained 20 pounds in all this.   Oh my my! I feel like I am not doing anything really really well. I like to do things the goooooodest that I can! HELP ME God!"

When my Uncle Otis was put into a "care giver facility" he called me begging me to come to help him, his stepkids had "put him away"!  Richard and I got in the car and drove 3 states away to help him.  Lets just say I was really sandwiched in this one!  Caught between step families, my brother, My mom, My children and my husband. It was ugly. 
 I was thankfully raised to honor, respect and take care of my elders - my family - the ones I love.  I can only hope that lessons can be and maybe have been learned for the next generations - XYZ! That would be the kids, and the babygrands!

I'll have to blog more about this one - I see here I have journals full of experiences to share! WOW!

Yes!  I guess as I look through old journals, I see the Sandwich!  The "Silent or Good Warriors generation" and the "Generations X, Y and Z" (it looks like from the research I've done) with me, the tail end of the "Baby Boomers - Sandwiched" in the middle!!!

I leave a prayer and a heart felt atta girl for any and all who are of the "sandwich" generation!  It's a tuff job to take on the responsibility of other people in your home no matter older or younger - God Bless you say your prayers!!!

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2012/09/the-caregiver?lang=eng&query=parents
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/28/empty-nest-syndrome-doesnt-exist_n_2566671.html?utm_hp_ref=sandwich-generation

Play Board Games!

"You Don't know what I look like when I'm not in love with you"Stephen VD





What does that mean really?  Are we different people when we are with Different people?  I'm thinking maybe as much as we think we don't change, maybe we do when we are "in love".  I know I use to say things like "We are who we are" and "Our peers don't affect us".  Maybe there is more to it than that. How in the heck do you trust enough to love ...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJjeWDvh6J0


Is it love?  the question was asked and reported here by Temma Ehrenfeld

"Well, I don't mind sounding Clintonian if I say it depends what you mean by "love."

The ancient Greeks had more than 10 words for experiences that we might call love. Eros was a combination of lust and romance. Ludus was uncommitted and playful.

So let's say we're talking about romance. The infatuation, the butterflies, the passion—all spurred on by a little neurotransmitter in our brains known as dopamine. And, yes, dopamine is the chemical behind many of life’s highs, including drug addictions (as the joke goes, “That’s why they call it dope").

That euphoria can last 17 months or more, according to research by Helen Fisher. Dopamine also stimulates the release of testosterone, the “liquor of lust,” along with the same bonding chemicals that make us protective of one another.

The quantities, timing and interactions of those big three—dopamine, testosterone and bonding chemicals--can trigger them to work synergistically or in opposition.

So, love surprises us. You might be in love and have no desire for sex. You might have detached satisfying hookups, only to discover you’re in love. Maybe you’re just friends and fall in love. Or, as the summer romance story goes, you fall in love and part with only fond memories. You can also feel lust for one person, attachment to another and romance with a third—all at the same time.

Then, to complicate matters, your brain’s chemical journey isn’t necessarily the same as your partner’s. That's why romantic love is risky: a “blissful dependency when one’s love is returned, a painful, sorrowful and often destructive craving when one’s love is spurned,” Fisher explains.

Chemistry is real..."

board game bottom left corner
Also only picture we have of this really fun evening!
 Same thing happened with
Apryl and Sean pictures lost forever
- Hold on to your pictures!!!

 ...  how do you know if it's real, what does it matter and  what do you do to keep that "other" person "acting, smelling, bonding" as always as if they are in love with you like it was 'in the beginning'"?  

One of my main answers is simple play board games!!!  Especially in day and age when there really is 'no board' any more even "board games" are played on your electronic devices not "together" to observe in the strategy, tactics  sportsmanship and reaction to THE GAME and really, isn't LOVE just another board game!!!?  We are just simple people that's for sure my example is (pictured here) when we held a wedding reception for Austin and Anona we had board games on the tables I'm glad to report that they have been happily playing board games ever since!

We are what we pretend to be so we need to be careful about what we are pretending.  Aristotle said "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit."
And you know what they say about habits . . . "The chains of habit are too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken."    and at times can if you don't break them, break you.

My Mother as you know had her sayings - one of them was ... "Birds of a feather flock together" but when it comes to love, lust and the games we play I'm thinkin that's not entirely true.  Opposites do attract.  Good girls do want the bad boys.  Really isn't that what they did to us in Grease - we wanted her to put on the trashy outfit - she was impatient and didn't hold out for the end of the game and see him switch from the leather jacket to the sweater. . .    but then we are back to my orignal observation who are we when we love someone.


"I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody's going to come and save you, you've got to save yourself. Nobody's going to give you anything; you've got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for you. And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. So, don't give up on your dreams."  unknown

this was my motto - "I love you not only for who YOU are, but for who I am When I'm With You."  it shouldn't be different and if it is... play a different game other wise you are going to loose and you won't like who the other person is when she/he doesn't love you

Just my thought for the day.

Which way Do You Lean???

 SO this morning I watched The Lorax.  Really it was the 3rd time I tried to watch it, sure not my fav!!!  I just want to document the ONE THING I got out of it

"Which way do trees fall?  They fall the way they lean.  Be careful which way you Lean!"

It goes to the Root of my belief system!  Tradition.

• T =  Teach with the spirit and Keep your sense of HUMOR!  about yourself and EVERYONE around You.
• R =  Reason for rules and regulation Be Obedient.
• A = Axiom; "Birds of a feather flock together"  and "REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!"
• D = Dogma; faith is not a perfect knowledge, hoped for and not seen
• I = Instill the desire to be proud of where you come from
• T = Tongue is sharper than a beating
• I = Implant roots that will grow and hold strong
• O = knOw when to share your Opinion and when not too! But hold on to the ONE thing that you believe in.
• N = Never give up ;)  on Yourself or the ones you LOVE ((or even if you don't love them))  

because ...   unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing is going to get better and all your trees will fall and you will have nothing to show for your life. All your roots will be pulled from the ground and your traditions will not be re-rooted!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PF0h7oqUEQ

Love Done Gone

We've had a Change in status I feel I might need to catch some of you up. 

 Ayris Joan is a Sobczak, she is a "single lady".

So many applicable song references -

but to be clear 2012 sucked and we are looking forward to 2013!!! 

The judge granted an annulment ... November 30

Us without him!


the song LOVE DONE GONE... 

this is my perspective - a positive take, on a tragedy