Was is worth it?

Went to the cemetery to pay honor to my parents.

This is my Daddy

This is my Mother!

I wondered if they think I amounted to anything and if all they went thru for me was worth it?  

As parents we go through lots for our kids.  We probably only realize and maybe a little bit understand it, after we have children ourselves.  It can be a very unselfish thing to bring children into this world. I know my parents sacrificed and struggled in behalf of their namesake.  I hope I made it worthwhile for them. I pray that when I see them again I can hold my head up high with no regrets, but that too they will be glad to see me not sorry or wishing they'd done something else!
  While in life we might wish things were different, really we wouldn't be who we are if they were and I am glad to be me and wouldn't change a thing in my circumstance molding me into the weirdy that I am today! 
Thanks mom and Daddy for being my Mother and Father.

"Sandwich Generation"

At first I was labeled "the tail end of the Baby Boomers",
 but today I understand I have a new label  "The Sandwich Generation"

I was told once that "you can only have 1 queen in a kitchen" let me tell ya I've learned that the hard way by having One Aunt, a mother-in-law and My own sweet Mother living in my kitchen!!!!!    Let's go to the old school paper journals I have a few .........

My friend Debbie used to come over cuz she said I made the best sandwiches!
 I guess if I can have cheese on it everything will be ok!!!

One entry goes like this... 

My dear sweet Mother
towards the end of her life

•  2006 "having a hard time going home this time.  I feel sadness, emptiness and some kind of longing this day as I leave Apryl and Vaughn.  Not sure why or what it is about?  She seems so sad and lonely.  I am worried inside about her, my heart and mind concerned for her well being. I love and admire Apryl Ann, I love talking and hanging out with her.  What a awesome spirit she is. I admire her 'sense and Sensibility'!!!!  But...   I have to go home, back to care for Mom.  It's so sad to see her everyday and how she is now. She never wanted to end up where and how she is. ... I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone and everything most often I feel stuck in the middle, it wears on ya!  She fell and broke her hip. She always said she did not want to EVER have a hip or knew replacement.  They said they had to do it.  I asked if they had to? the nurse looked at me like - you horrible idiot person "Her hip is broken".  Of couse they had to do the surgery.  I just knew she had said she never ever wanted to do it. They knocked her out, she didn't know us. She was back in the room at midnight.  She and I hand in hand I stayed with her all night.  Every time she would come to I would retell her where she was and what had happened.  She came too more so in the day she did not know me. She is hateful argumentative even physically! It's awful. like I said I'm having a hard time keeping up."

   My Aunt is a wonderful wonderful person, but she can be a little exhausting and eccentric!!!  WHen she came to live with us she had had a knee replacement and as the 5 years of caring for her progressed we discovered she had gotten a staff infection while having the surgery and so she suffered much pain and death by infection.  This entry goes like this....

"up off and on every two hours last night.  Then up this morning to help Auntie to the bathroom get her her kleenexs, some breakfast and prep her for shower, get her to do some exercises - all the while getting ayris and amric ready for school checking on Mom and making lunches!  and then say "I'll be back in 15 Auntie gotta take the kids to school."  Husband? do I even have a husband??? In 15 - I'm back, she is freaking out, no I mean freaking out!!! because "I was gone too long and Mom had not even looked in on her"!  Today I worked on Mutual for the YW and asked that they come to the house tonight, cuz everytime I leave auntie freaks out with anxiety so much that I do not know what to do with her.  I'm to tired to move, so I eat to keep awake, I'm divided so thinly between everyone - I've gained 20 pounds in all this.   Oh my my! I feel like I am not doing anything really really well. I like to do things the goooooodest that I can! HELP ME God!"

When my Uncle Otis was put into a "care giver facility" he called me begging me to come to help him, his stepkids had "put him away"!  Richard and I got in the car and drove 3 states away to help him.  Lets just say I was really sandwiched in this one!  Caught between step families, my brother, My mom, My children and my husband. It was ugly. 
 I was thankfully raised to honor, respect and take care of my elders - my family - the ones I love.  I can only hope that lessons can be and maybe have been learned for the next generations - XYZ! That would be the kids, and the babygrands!

I'll have to blog more about this one - I see here I have journals full of experiences to share! WOW!

Yes!  I guess as I look through old journals, I see the Sandwich!  The "Silent or Good Warriors generation" and the "Generations X, Y and Z" (it looks like from the research I've done) with me, the tail end of the "Baby Boomers - Sandwiched" in the middle!!!

I leave a prayer and a heart felt atta girl for any and all who are of the "sandwich" generation!  It's a tuff job to take on the responsibility of other people in your home no matter older or younger - God Bless you say your prayers!!!

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2012/09/the-caregiver?lang=eng&query=parents
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/28/empty-nest-syndrome-doesnt-exist_n_2566671.html?utm_hp_ref=sandwich-generation

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2002

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2000

Merry Merry and a HO HO HO!

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 1995