Plow in Hope and Keep moving Forward...

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.  

Luke 9:62

Last Saturday evening I had a great experience reading the scriptures.  I was praying and pondering, meditating about life and a few questions I had.  I felt lead to read Chapter 9 in Luke in the New Testament.   As I read, I wondered what is it that I am suppose to be learning here?  Vereses 37-62 seemed to be my focus.  I read them several times.  Then my eye caught it vs 62; "no man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of heaven."  A few weeks ago someone said to me "I don't look back".  That kinda hit me for some reason.  There are always things to look back on,I thought. But what I've discovered for myself this week is I have been, for the last several months driving forward while looking in the rear view mirror.  

Thus I have made some changes, extreme some may say but I am having hope in the future and digging in with my Plow.  This I am sure will give me more and strengthen the faith I already do have, especially in reading the scriptures, patience and Hope. The Lord's timeing is definitely not always, rarely ever my timing.  But in the last year, I have learned about timing and the importance of handing it over, in Faith, after all that I can do to Him.  Thy will be done.
My theme or motto for myself this year is "Exert yourself, Be Considerate!".  As I read, prayed and pondered over these scriptures Saturday night I thought; to "put your hand to the Plow" is an action it is actually work, it is exerting yourself!!  In my mind I see that if you aren't focused the furrows will be rough and crooked allowing weeds and pour nourishment to flow.  But on the other hand to really drive forward, hold my hand to the plow exert myself I would come clean and have nourished, straight, beautiful furrows and a harvest worth the reward.
In my opinion we should look back to Remember the learning pattern so not to repeat the same mistake.  As the saying goes "We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience."  While treating ourselves poorly, staying down, not getting back up we are not reflecting the character of Christ.  Surround yourself with positive people you trust who want to exert and dig in with you.   Set goals, go back to the "primary answers" Say your prayers (get on your knees in helps in that whole humility thing!), and read your scriptures asking questions and for direction.  
I promise the light will come.  
I felt prompted to do something that scared me after this experience so I ask Richard to give me a Blessing.  This week I've got my hand to the plow, I'm fully engaged - out with the "old me" and in with the new!  No more Depression (cold turkey), I am eating healthy (14 days no Black Soda!), I am cleansing my inner self (fasting), and I plan to go outside my house (be patient with me God!) outside scares me!  Confidence in yourself is sometimes very hard to grasp, I believe with God's help we can forgive ourselves, others and put our hands to the plow and exert ourselves with full confidence   RIght now for me, that might just be a seed of belief, it's a process and writing this is part of that process. In the verses pervious to 62 the man makes excuses for NOT digging right in, I pray to not make excuses for myself not let the bumpy terrain throw me off course, but if it does - to grab the reins and the plow and dig in again, not looking back and falling into darkness but instead, moving forward.  I hope you will too.

For our sakes, no doubt, this is written that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of His hope. 
 1 Cor. 9:10

I "POaST" about my life = 1957

Preface!  

Yes, all you english majors, I know - I DO NOT NEED an exclamation point after preface!!!!!  But throughout this section of blog entries I am certain there will be lots of !!! just like in the scriptures it will probably mean WO WO WO!!!

I have previously documented in this blog format a series entitled;"31 Days of 31 Christmas'"  these 31 blogs are the "history" of our Sobczak Family Life.  My, well "Our" son Amric just left 27 days ago to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, he will be gone for 24 months.  For the next 24 months I will "blog" my individual "life History" one year of at a time!  I know, you're thrilled!!!  My only hope is that some day it might matter, I am grateful to have my moms, grandmothers and great grandMothers Histories and privileged to add these (although I don't know if I can print all of this as a book or not?).  So if you follow along every month around the 27th I will update my "history" one more year, I will tag them by year with the labels/keywords. (I have to spell the "rules" out for myself so that I remember!)  The object of this "project" is to help me count down the months, sort thru stacks and stacks of letters, journals and family keepsakes/genealogy info to get my life history finished and keep me positive and productive for the next 24 months until my Amric returns home!!!   and so the story goes....

What big ears I have!

 I was born a poor Red head!!!

as my mother and father described it the "color of a carrot" and so "Loreal"(erase the grey!) and I try to keep it along those same lines to this day!

This is me, in our bath tub I guess, looks more like a metal dish pan! Also note, that my girls are not allowed to put any kind of naked pictures online I hesitate in posting this, but it's my own picture I can embarrass myself - really - it's all about the PAN!1957

This picture is me in a blessing dress that my Aunt El bought me that I also put on Apryl when we all went to the temple to be sealed as a little family.  I still have this dress and hope that someday - well, I don't know what I hope to do with it, but maybe someday someone will wear it again.  I have a metal trunk full of clothes that my mom had from all of us, no one really wants them, but I can't seem to part with them, it seems rude and disrespectful, Plus they are like antiques!  Speaking of antiques this chair I'm sitting on is one that was made of maroon, redish velvet!  My Aunt El had a living room set with a couch and this chair - I do in fact remember this furniture and will tell you more stories about this as we go along. Lets just say George, the Siamese cat and I could not sit on this furniture together!!!

Blessing dress

hand croquette blanket Auntie made for me, also still have it!

So... I have a story for you. . .  When my mother got pregnant she was told that she could not carry me.  She had had 2 or 3 miscarriages before Timmy, so she knew that loosing a pregnancy was always possible for her, every pregnancy she had was hard for her and put her life in danger. To add to this the she was going to be 42 when I was to be born and they didn't have all the information, equipment and skills that they have today.  She said she wanted to try and carry the baby anyway. She started hemorrhaging off and on and then more and more.  The Doctors told her to abort the mission!!!  She choose not to (obviously!!!) she had the priesthood from our church come to the house and give her a blessing.  While they were there they issued her a call to be the Primary President, (the primary is the organization in the church that leads, teaches, sings, has activities with these children who are ages 18 months - thru 11 years.  She accepted.  My Dad I understand was supportive.  Maybe as time went on Judyann would support her too but as I understand in the beginning not so much!!!  Mom got pretty sick and was put on bed rest. Judyann ended up doing all household chores.  Mom asked the Bishop to release her feeling that she couldn't do the Primary calling any more.  

This is a letter written by grandma to remind of the miracle it is that "I" even was born and to keep me focused!  Thank you Grandma.

The Bishop gave her a Blessing in it he told her that "if she would keep the Primary calling she would be blessed to deliver a healthy baby no matter the circumstance".  So mom being faithful, kept the call.  Judyann kept doing the chores and the men kept being the men!  Tom 7 years older than I and Timmy 14 years older than I, (big difference), Judyann 12 years older than me.  So we were kinda spread out.  Anyway...Mom gave birth to me!  I was born!  the miracle is .... the Doctor reported that I had been carried this whole time without the availability of a whom and that is why mom had kept bleeding so much.  She said that they always wondered what in the blessing was meant by the words "no matter the circumstance".  So she always said I was a miracle baby and thus she expected from the very beginning alot from me.  It was a constant annoyance, let me just say that!!!!  But now, as I have a family and I miss my mom so much I thank Mom and Dad for their willingness to deliver and to God for even being here!

INTRODUCING --


My brother Tom Philip (named after our grandpa Tomney):

Tom 1956

Tom 1957

Tom says; "I don't really remember anything except you were born the same day that LUCKY SOCKS (A buckskin colt we had) was born!"

Disney's
Mickey Mouse Club in 1957

In the World ...

Buddy Holly and the crickets recorded the number 1 hit right before my birthday in  1957  "That'll be the day"

The world forever be changed with the introduction and flight of Sputnik...

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/space/sputnik-impact-on-america.html

In the Church  - During 1957 October 

The semiannual general conference was canceled due to a flu epidemic.

General conference canceled because of flu epidemic.

Church Membership at end of year: 1,488,314
New Converts : 71,583
Percent Change from previous year: 5.05%

[Spencer W. Kimball] Undergoes an operation for cancer of the throat; one and one-half vocal cords are removed.

A note mom had; List of people who came to visit Mom and I at the Hospital when I was born;
Daddy, Ella Arthur, Betty and Marj Lindsay, Harriet Harrison, Marquerite Harrison, Celia Hampton, Eve Lee, Ila David, Cherrill Jones, Myrtle Daily, Bill and Leona, Afton Clark (moms BFF), Arthella and Berk, Mary Morris.  
Gifts; Dress, Gloves, darning needles, tube for a radio, yarn to tie a quilt, milk strainers, lining for a quilt, and cleaner.

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2012

What can I say about the year 2012?  

I can say this COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS for they are MANY!

Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

My first quote in my calendar for the year is this: “Any attempt to compel behavior is accompanied by withdrawl of the spirit and decreased effectiveness”.  –Merrill

Applicaable for the year ahead, little did I know what was ahead for us this year.  My “keyword” for the year that I had picked to focus on was “Perspective”, I have a whole knew perspective now of sooooo many things, even in my old age and 31 years of family life.  "We can learn to love again" pink, I "believe in the forgiveness of sin and redemption of ignorance" a. stevenson and "he that is without sin let him (or her) cast the first stone" Jesus Christ.

I notice in my journal that one of my goals for the year was to loose 40 pounds by April!  I’m sure I gained 40+ pounds by April!!!  A very stressful 4 months.  Reading thru my journals is interesting, I pray my kids are writing – keeping records – for it is very insightful looking back definitely a learning tool.  As I have been reading and posting 31 Days of 31 Christmas’ I have struggled with how much I “posted” in each years Christmas letter telling people stuff they didn’t need to know or maybe even should know.  Because I did it though, I have it, I have the history (which is a blessing) plus My kids have it and I am indeed sharing it - a marriage and family evolving into what we have become, (I’m still not sure what that is, even today)!  I do know though that from it I see struggles, triumphants, failures, joy, mistakes, love, hurt, religion, lack of religion, testimony, vacations, money, "causes", the world around us, relatives, growth (we are slow learners, lots of growth!), friends, callings, and what I see today is SURVIVAL, ENDURANCE a family fighting to be a FAMILY TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY!  For that I can be grateful, count my blessings and move forward - not embarrassed for sharing as many details as I have, hoping that someone learns something and maybe grows too.

One of the things I was enlightened to from reading the scriptures this year came from King Solomon and it was that we were “moved from house to house to be where the LORD needed us to be, some moves might have been us counseling the Lord, but most were for our benefit and in the end were Joyful to the purpose”.  Somewhere along the year I was taught this “ETTE” Enjoy to the End! and that I hope my friends and family that we apply all the days of our lives...

To begin the year we were stuck in Wyoming and didn’t get home for a proper New Years Eve… that should have been a clue to the year ahead!!!  I want to preface this year with the resolve that we had made to NOT GO ANYWHERE THIS YEAR – for the sake of the budget (that didn’t really work out!).

•          We spent the first recovering from a trip home from Utah stuck in Wyoming for many many hours due to semi crash and bad weather.
•      Richard and I flew to Washington for the weekend in Jan. – during a snow/ice storm – I do love it in Washington.  I was ever so happy to go to church and see friends that I love dearly. And go to Jack in the Box both in Vancouver and in Chehalis!!!  Yippee!!!
•        We spent the next 4 months planning a wedding.
•       Ayris and Tyler moved to Utah
•       Apryl and her family struggled with unemployment for months. They came to the house just about daily up until August ;) love spending time with them and enjoying the boats, the beach and the time doing YOGA!!!!
•      Amric Graduated 4 years of seminary
•           Amric Graduated from Burke High School
• Ashlee and Dillon move to Omaha - fun to have her her, sorry we weren't better company!
•      Amric, Richard and I were blessed to travel with a “Youth Group” to Nauvoo, it was beautiful, wonderful fun experience.  Made knew friends, got to know the youth better.  The Temple is beautiful and the stories of the settlement are tremendous and tragic at the same time.  The spirit that is there is peaceful, the work and the effort, the suffering and hardship it left an undeniable mark that will imprint Testimony of a Prophet, a People and reminds us that Jesus Christ still lives.  Carthage is the saddest place ever, I felt like I was suffocating being there, seeing and hearing how he was treated.
•      I spent 6 months working on and planning “Girls Camp”. It went off without a hitch except that silly weather!!! Rains and wind, but I loved it and I believe (as I must) that the girls had a great time!!!  Soon after it was over I was released.
•       The A. Sobczaks came to visit and we got to go to Chicago with them.  Richard and I went for walks and we all enjoyed the sites, the food the hospitality of Chicago! 
•       Richard travels LOTS and LOTS doing his Appraisal Work - which by the way he still loves!
•      Amric starts his “paperwork” online to serve a Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
•       Apryl and Sean, Pax, Gage and Vaughn moved to Vermont.  Sean had 3 jobs this year! with prayer and the Lord's blessing (not mine!! hehe!) they moved to Vermont :(
• Ayris gets a job working for EFY in the office scheduling teachers and such!!  loves it too by the way!!!
• Amric still working at Fuddruckers and gets a second job at Best Buy!
•       Sudden trip to Utah - Ayris and Tyler Separated.
•          Tender Mercy that the Wares  (thank you Steve and Jake) were in Salt Lake too!  "Tender Mercies" all around,  let me count the ways!!  Jenni we love you and are so grateful for your influence, sacrifice and friendship to all of us but especially to Ayris at this time.  When Austin and Anona moved to Utah they had a family emergency, but I still believe it also had to do with Ayris I've been so grateful they lived close by as she has attended school at both SUU & BYU.
• We've been blessed to attend Nauvoo, Oquirrh, Salt Lake, Draper and Winter Quarters Temples this year.
•        Draper Temple - beautiful.  Very spiritual experience there.  I know that I totally felt and heard the presence of my mom and Aunt El, I can say this - I know they are watchful for and after Ayris Joan
•        Kelly called to teach Seminary – AGAIN!
•        BYU Parents Week-End!!  The Mom (that's me!) loves being with Ayris at BYU we went on tours, went to Womens Conf. with Anona and we were Blessed to attend the Salt Lake Temple (it has definetly been a year of "the Temple" for our family and we are all grateful for that blessing).
• Austin and Amric go to Washington D.C. - Amric sneaks in a trip on his own to New York City!
•       Sammy and Felicity came to visit for 3 weeks!!!  It was wonderful.  Austin and Anona went on a cruise!  But we got to keep the kids, it was so fun.  We sang, played games, went for walks, baked - celebrated Halloween – much JOY!
•        Amric Received his mission call – Carlsbad California Mission – He reports Jan. 2, 2013.
•       Amric went to the Winter Quarters Temple Nov. 3rd – Count our blessings!
•       The family gathered for Faux Thanksgiving and to support Amric leaving for mission we were sad that everyone couldn't be here, we missed Sean and the kids! L
•   An Annulment was granted :(  But, A fresh knew start, a wonderful positive future ahead for them both.  
•       Amric gave his talk in church (see highlights and follow his blog Storminmormonazsobczak.blogspot.com for the next 2 (count 'em - TWO) years!
• Leaving to take Ayris back to school and Amric to the MTC getting in a little time with Noyes Family and Sobczaks in the process!  YAY I’m so excited!!!  
• I am sure I will cry all the way home!  I'll tell you abou that in the Jan 2nd blog!!! Stay Tune!

The Following is a collage of pictures in remembrance of 2012....

The Mom and Amric Oct 2012

Dad Sam, Cici and Firt

Samantha in Gretna

Dad and Daughter Provo Ut Aug 2012

Austin and Cici Valley Oct 2012

Pax and Apryl Valley

Cici in Draper on Parents Weekend

The Mom and The daughter on Parents Weekend BYU Sept. 2012

Matthew and Matteo

The Bean

CHicago

Sean and Vaughn in the back yard!

Vaughn and Pax back to school only this time in Vermont!

Ayris at Jenni's Aug 2012

Ayris and Mom Salt Lake City Sept 2012

Ayris gets a new phone for her birthday!

Calvin!  visits -- What a Surprise!!! 

The Ren's where else? Baseball!!!

The Cousins at Amrics Graduation

Apryl, Ayris come home for Amric Nov 2012

Faux Thanksgiving Nov 2012

Anona helps mom Landscape this is my little bit of the southwest here in Nebraska

Fall here in Valley

Felicity 

Ashley and her Family 2012 (Timmy's Grandaughter and My Great Niece!)

Tim the third! with his family! (Timmys grandson and name sake)

Nikki and her family (Timmys grandaughter)

Olaf and Dania (Judyanns beautiful baby son)

RIchard and I  at Sioux falls  March 2012

Amric Graduates!  His parents tag along for the ride!!

Bianca Ren

Ayris and Tyler go to Seattle

My little runner - GO APRYL!

Apryl Ann I miss you so much!!!

When I grow up I hope they call me on a mission!

Richard finally gets his boat!

Winter Quarters Temple .... What a blessing to have our kids there together.

Anona and Austin with Sammy and Cici

Tyler and Dad

Oquirrh Temple

Matthew and Marcella (Judyanns Oldest Son)

Amric is fulfilling Uncle Tom's prophecies with Girls and Blackeyes!
 (see his christmas card quote in 1999 letter)

Ayris goes to the Oquirrah Temple Parkers and Noyes came in support

Apryl and The Dad as she left for vermont

Oquirrh Temple

Ayris and Dad

Zane instructs Austin in Utah at lunch!

Gage - isn't he cute!

Apryl and Pax

Just love the shoes

Apryl and The Mom Love the shoes!

Matteo is blessed in Mexico

Vaughn so somber

Amric in the back yard! with his graduation present!!

The family comes together to support Amric as he goes to the Temple and
Prepares to serve the LORD on a 2 year mission.

Count your blessings - 

I know I am counting mine, as this years perspective seems to be how blessed we are.

"Count your blessings.  Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace strength, courage and confidence."  Og Mandino

Hugs to all and to all a Good night and Great New Year 
Please, bless us all with a even better than 2012 - 2013!!!