Happy Birthday I'm 20

Kelly Sue McCoy

a birthday poem by Iris (you know my mom!)

K is for the kaleidoscope of events in her daily life
E is for the exuberant enthusiasm of each day
L could be for Lady but it's not more for love, or laughter, or lessons learned.
L too, might mean loneliness or leisure enjoyed or light of the gospel she holds so dear.
Y stands for the youthful quality of her heart.

S is the silky long hair, sunshiny smile and SELF for which she searches
U is the indescribable Urgency she feels in LIVING!
E the Enigma of those Elaborate dreams she has.

M what else? the Man in her life she looks for and the marvelous magnetic thought of Marriage
C well lets see -- Capable, clever, cunning, capricious or cute?
C too, can be Caring, Catty, Caustic, cautious, challenging and ever changing!
O might be oblique, or obstinate, outspoken or overflowing with love of others.
Y is for the 20 Years she has had or maybe for the Yellow of her favorite color!

Who do you love and WHY?

My kinda Man, These things I love...

Where did you get your list of Character traits you want in a spouse?  What is, or was the list like that you made of that special someone out there in your future that you "wanted to be with for eternity"?
A really good book?  I'm sure Apryl has a list from some Jane Austin Book or Doctor Who! How bout a movie, soap operas, a TV show, Maybe more appropriately a Father or Mother
Where or where???  Were you always rootin for the bad guy? Did you pick the Vixen or the the "Love to Hate him guy"? Was your person to beat all persons the Diva or the honorable clean cut guy? Did you always root for the couple that shouldn't be together but you love the Drama! or Turn off or close the book because you just couldn't stand that "they" were together.  Maybe when "that couple" you love was finally together you stop watching or listening because you want your own "Happily everafter".  Who was the couple you always set your goals and dreams to be like to exemplify? To reflect.  The notebook? Your parents?

In 2 Timothy 3:1-7 it warns of a whole slew of chartacter traits that we should avoid that hopefully nobody sets the goal to be like or around to exemply or reflect in any way.
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
 7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

So with my past experience and all the lists collected over the decades of my life, I've created a list of character traits and the role models I learned them from. I think together it would make the Perfect Eternal Companion - so here goes, just for fun!!!

Ricky: first love, well he was trouble - avoid trouble no when to shut the door! He loved my mom and was kind to her.
Maurice: loves his wife and kids - good dad - honors his priesthood

Blaine taylor: reeked of really good taste in cars!

Jesse: a compassionate listener, not only Temple worthy, but attends the Temple often

Christian: a kind teacher

Tyler: charastamatic and an enthusiastic convert creative hardworker

Ron: trustworthy, a desire to go and do family history
Logan: athletic and competitive honors his priesthood
Mikel: integrity
Zane: provider and protector, staunch, isn't afraid to whoop your BUTT if you have hurt someone he cares about

Earl: stalwart COWBOY!, endured to the end.

Austin: smart , provider, funny honors his parents

Hyrum: sense of humor and both of us love his mother
Tom: Protector fun loving cowboy!
Buddy: Trustworthy, candid
jWayne: loves to sing, great friend

Ben: humble, a good friend, honors, his priesthood
Seane: Affectionate, peacemaker

Colin: a gentelman
Amric: sincere, warrior, honest, loves from the bottom of his heart, hard worker, dedicated, determined
Matthew: sensitive, honors his parents
Deacon: Spontaneous he's "Done Talkin'"!

Robert: Romantic

Kirk: Willing to go the distance to surprise me, confident

Paul: welcoming, concerned for well-being

Brandon: likes to watch my TV with me

Calvin: loves my family, hard worker, good businssman, we both love his mom!

Jake: a protector sense of humor honorable priesthood holder
Curt: A leader in Righteousness - Family Prayer and prayed with kids by bed every night

Terry: honest and a desire to serve a mission
Timmy: Captain and defender of country

Sean: repentant
Otis: Frugal, knows how to budget

Darcy: non judgmental

Glenn: DANG FUN! Spoiled me :) Integrity

Bryan: Does his calling

Vincent: patient and Generous, Family First
Tod: kind, wants the best for you, willing to lend a hand when needed

Olaf: thinker, family man, fun

Dave: honest - Great Ethics

Richard: Provider, forgiving and loves me more than anyone else! (I just can't not have that!)

Being the Right Person is just as important if not more than "finding the right person", so all these character traits I want in my man, I need to develop in myself.  This is who I strive to be (I've got along way to go!);

Proverbs 31

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

AGAIN - wish me luck!!!

We are all working at being better people
and being with the ONEs we LOVE.

ideas for reference other than mine!--

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2008/10/preparing-yourself-for-marriage

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2002/09/choosing-and-being-the-right-spouse 

I "POaST" about my Life ... 1960

1960

must have been a bad year ... no pics of family!

The Kennedys

THE WORLD and their Stars

Jan 2013 I wrote this about me and the way I was feeling about life...

I'm strong and immovable

then I'm weak and wilted

I'm determined

and then I'm jilted

I'm strong and courageous

then I'm melted to not

I'm fearless

and then I'm bought.

I'm strong and hopeful

then I'm doubtful

I'm organized

then I'm drowning in a pool.

I'm strong and spiritual

then I'm tempted

I'm wise

then I'm cheated.

I'm strong and a teacher

then I'm wrong

...I'm a student.

Restraint

"There are limits to self indulgence, but none to self restraint." Gandhi

Restraint does not just exist, or not exist for Sex, Drugs and Rock'nRoll.  What? 
When you don't know what to do with yourself - what do you do?  
When you don't know what to say or how to respond  - what do you say?

Believe it or not - I reserve a lot of my opinion and don't ALWAYS say or write everything I'm doing, saying or thinking.  I write because I think maybe I've learned something to help someone else, not because I am scholarly or an English Writing Major, but because I love people - even though I do or don't always use restraint in saying how stupid we, as a people  'can be'!  So todays thought is what my Daddy would have always told me - "Silence is Golden - in other words Shut Up and Get Rich"!  although he also used to tell me "how ugly I was when I cried" and that I "was worth my weight in Salt, which ain't much". I guess he might not have been the perfect example of Restraint!   
 Oh Dad, I miss you even after all these years.

"The path of peace is not a passive journey. It takes incredible strength not to open a can of 'whoop-ass', justifiably, when ones button is pushed."  -Hodge

I'll use Restraint and end on this note:

I like it for lots of reasons but today because it goes along with my theme for the year = Exert yourself, be considerate!

"When Restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible."   Gandhi

Characterized Media - WHO ARE YOU IN THE MEDIA?

ok I'm going to just start brain storming about this and see where I go...

My question is Why do we read or watch the stories that we do?
Some observations -

• I figured out why I always wanted to go to New York City!  Because I am That Girl!  Or anyway I wanted to be from 1966-1971!

• When I was a young married I had a woman I worked with tell me she did not let her daughter play with Barbie or watch any TV with a barbie character because "those girls" always had sex before they were married.
• When Apryl read as a child she said she did it because we moved so much that and the stories, and the people in the stories were always still there, not new,not different and didn't move away.  She liked getting "into the story" and being part of their lives.

• I have a great friend; Marion she told me once that she liked to read her "novels" because when the guy rides in on his horse and saves the day - she pictures Zane because he is her hero.
• My Daddy used to watch "All in the Family" every Sunday night, I loved to watch him laugh - I think he totally related and that is why he watched it - because part of his character was "Archie Bunker" and so he could relate!

• Back in the day when I watched "One Tree Hill" Tyler liked the girl Peyton I liked Brooke and Haley!

• The other night I was watching "Heart of Dixie" and the couple I've always rooted for turned into a familiar couple.  I guess that is what got me to thinking about this.  Are we familiar, do we know or recognize characters on the shows we watch or the stories we read - is that why we watch?  Who do we root for? Who do we hate together? Do we repeat that in our own lives?Does Apryl really just want to be Dr. WHO? No she wants to be Sydney Bristow maybe she wants Sean to be Dr Who!  Should we learn and try a different tact?  So Ayris Yes, you can root for Emily and Micah! Then last night Richard and I were watching TV and he made the comment that all "my shows" have cute boys in them - I wondered what does that mean? What do all of his shows have what are the characters he is attracted to? (Raymond, Captain Kurk, Doug Heffernan, and Sheldon Cooper) 
• What are we putting into our minds without thought.  What thoughts am I?

• Then there is me - I like TV, never really liked to read so much, I think now that is because it has always been so hard for me to concentrate. Because I like TV and I've been doing it for awhile narrowing down characters is a task sort of in my head let's see;  I loved Friday Night Lights, I wanted to look like and have the passion of Sarah Connor in Terminator (but wait thats not TV) so I will make that Nikita or more realistically cuz she's my age anyway Jo Denville!, I want to act like and have the will of Maxine Gray on Judging Amy, I really want the Sunday Family dinners on Blue Bloods, My nickname comes from "The Andy Griffith Show" I think because I wanted to be opie and have a Dad like him and my friends all called my mom Aunt B,  I always want to talk to the dead (I have so many on the other side) that I like shows like "Touch by an Angel" and "A Gifted Man", I liked the spunk of Reva on Guiding light, I can't believe how dumb  Emily is, and I loved to Hate JR Ewing.
• Ok so that's what I came up with by memory (which as everyone knows I don't have a memory!).  Then I googled top 10 shows of the 1960s, 70s and 80s to see what my foundation is of characters from ALLLLLLL the TV I've watched.  1960 I watched them all but the Patty Duke Show.  The 1970s - Yep I watched them all!  So the 80's get interesting I see that I start pulling back and not watching what everyone else is.  This is when the Detective/Mystery enters (Wiseguy and Hart to Hart), family comedies were in the home now in the 80's the comedy changes; it's no longer in the family it's in the Bar(CHEERS) and at War (MASH), the Day time Soap moves to nighttime (Dallas and Beauty & the Beast).
• The 1990s and now I have kids watching TV with me - and I'm watching WHAT????  TV changing even more Evil/Mystery enters = XFiles at the top of my list, the DaytimeSoap moves to nightime with ER a must see, Dawson in 1998 and the culture starts to change with the introduction of the comedies "Friends" and "Seinfield".
• Which brings me to the new century and what do I see?  what has happened?  "REALITY" has happened and I think it has replaced JR with the "love to Hate" relationship.  American Idol, Survivor, So You Think You Can Dance, now it's Big Brother, The Voice and Project Runway plus so many many more than I am not watching or invested in, or even heard of.  What about all the generation that is watching, they are and will be basing their foundation on this type of TV / media, what will become of them? Who are their role models or the characteristic traits that they will "want to be" or inherit without even knowing it - honey bobo?
• Now we are in yet a new decade (dang I'm getting up there in age!) who's character do I want to watch now?  Well Ziva's cool, Richard's says I'm Dani on Necessary Roughness,  
• Even before I started writing this I had come to the conclusion that I needed to really be more watchful of what I am putting in to my mind completely without thought and discern more clearly what I am watching on the TV.  We have a couple rules about TV in this house;

1. I know exactly (and have blogged about it already) the reason and time that caused us to choose to enforce the rule of no R rated movies.  Inside the house or out. Austin was 5.
2. We didn't allow MTV in the house.  I don't know how parents control that now.
3. Nowadays No rated M or pay TV channels.
4. No TV's in the bedroom or situated screens away from the doorway!!! in the house.  Only nowadays all of us can see anything anywhere, with the internet so readily available and smart phones, so now what are the rules?
5. With the invention of the DVR and since We had a TIVO in the house - no live TV.
• SO that leads me to this week before I even started writing this.  I recorded a new show that came out this week, let's just say it had to be stopped and removed from the cue.  Because of that and the experience Wednesday I think it was with that Alabama based show, I started down the cue I deleted 7 shows.  Thousands of hours of TV are stored in my brain.  What am I doing with it that I am not even aware of? 

I think my Richie is Andy Griffith, Mike Heck, Jethro Gibbs, Mike Baxter and throw in a little Mark Slade from High Chaparral (need a little cowboy in this mix) and of course Magnum PI!  Now thats a man!!!!

I had a seminary student once who was a very lean strong wrestler and he told me as I ate my nachos, that his mom taught him "You are what you eat".  Today in my analysis I guess I'm saying that especially without being taught any morals, You are what you watch.  If you are not exerting yourself in church, scriptures, prayer, service, if you are exerting yourself in media more than positive uplifting sources then what does our brain have integrated in its software, what does it have for reference in any given situation, trial, choice or consequence. I fight depression  I can't watch shows that go nowhere, that are rollercoaster story lines that have humor that isn't positive.  Otherwise I go there too and that's gotta stop.  We must not only be observers of kindness and morality but we must fight for the future and commit to FAMILY above all!!!

This isn't even where I thought I was going with this!!!! First of all I was just wondering what TV character I might be (I'm even more unclear of that now - guess I'm just me!) and what TV character Richard would be (glad I figured that out!)!  Looking at this and seeing what I watch I'd have to just say take it back a notch Kel and exert yourself in an other directions - GO ME for deleting shows from the cue!

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 1997

To Marci from Tim

Thank you... by Tim

It has taken several days for me to write this letter.

In 1965 my mother called me the coldest hearted person she knew.  I am telling you this, so that maybe you will understand the walls that I have built up throughout the years to contain and control any deep emotions I might have.  I allow very little to really get to me and these last three years have only deepened that desire to be within myself.

Your letter got to me, it touched me very deeply and has given me some hope and encouragement to face the people that know me.  I am very much in your debt.

thank you, Tim M. McCoy



I think this was written in the early 1970's