Happiness Project Mindfulness - Be Prayerful

Yesterday at Church we talked about the need and importance of Prayer.  I felt inspired to "go home and write the impressions I had during this discussion down" and encouraged others to do so too.  And Thus we see here I am.  Testimony is an important thing to have, for if you have a testimony of something you stand for it tooth and nail, come hell or high water.  Once upon a time I was a teacher and a question I liked asking was "What is the One thing you Believe in?"  It was a cool thing for me to see what was important to those I spent everyday with.  Lately, well really I am on a roller coaster with prayer and not just lately.  I have a whole issue with the word submit.  Couple of things I specifically prayed for did not ever happen, some did and then fell apart and thus I then go straight to "why pray when He is going to do what He wants to do anyway". That attitude hasn't ever gotten me anywhere positive I can say for sure, and yet I roll back down speedily on the roller coaster of life at times, well more often than not I hate to admit.  The discussion yesterday was graciously led with the questions What? How? and Why? many personal experiences were shared and that was uplifting and a great reminder to me that Prayer is a mighty powerful source for many reasons in our lives.  So why don't we use it to it's full potential and why isn't it at the TOP of our Things We believe in List all the time or at least more often?   Since My Happiness Project topic is Be more Mindful and don't Procrastinate Here I am. Writing it down does help me remember and learn.  

These are the highlights that prompted remembrance of why I know that Prayer is One thing I believe in.

What to pray for?

• In Matthew Jesus tells us "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
• Fathers and Mothers Pray for your children. I'm going to add Kids pray for your parents!  No really I'm so serious. One of my favorite most innocently observed prayers was answered was a miracle was pure it was hearing our son and daughter prayer for their parents.
• Husbands pray for your wives.
• Wives pray for your husbands.
• Pray for Peace on earth. 
• Pray for wisdom and understanding.
• Pray for Forgiveness.
• Ask for blessings.
• Ask For Righteous Ambitions.
• the question is what couldn't I pray about?!!!

How to Pray?

• Individually, pray is personal.
• Pray with your family.
• There is something in the very posture of kneeling that contradicts the attitudes described by Paul in 2 Timothy:1-4 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/2-tim/3?lang=eng
• Pray with the expectation of answers.  (which of course requires faith - Yikes!)

Why Pray?

• "Prayer unlocks the powers of heaven in our behalf."
• "Be prayerful and the God of Heaven will smile upon you and bless you, and give happiness in your hearts and a sense of peace in your lives.
• prayer is one of the basic medications that would check the character of our society. 
• I know of nothing that will help ease the family tensions, bring respect for the parents lead to obedience, ... than will praying together...How tragic is the loss for any family that fails to take advantage of this precious and simple practice of praying together."

For the complete discussion;  https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-gordon-b-hinckley/chapter-6-how-mighty-a-thing-is-prayer?lang=eng

The constant thing that I kept remembering through out this discussion was hearing my mother pray.  Knowing that it was an action she took often, more than often. Knowing me and who I am, I know that without her prayers - her Motherhood pulling out all the stops, calling upon angels, her unconditional love Prayers; I first of all would not have even been born and lived, but could never have dug myself out of all the holes I so very quickly dug myself into. Only that miracle and power of a mother on her knees, begging for her daughter could have got me here today. In this I do believe and am grateful today to have been reminded of that pattern she taught me thru her act of prayer.

Many instances did come to my mind and I was reminded in my heart that prayer is good, it works it can be powerful and when you see it happen - you've seen a miracle.  Some things I have learned about prayer is that it is a discussion, a discussion takes more than one person. It's not one sided.  Garth had it right his song "Unanswered Prayer" at times we get what we pray for and well we shouldn't have even ask for that.  It reminds me of bugging my mom tell I got what I wanted, nothing good about that! Prayer is physical as well as spiritual. I'm all about no man being an island but having been on an island for awhile now, it's not all that peaceful! Prayer is mindful for sure and humbling. Both things are awkward in this world when it's moving so fast and we want to have it all and we think we can do it all Alone, for ourselves without submitting to anything or anyone.  In those instances what joy, what fun is there in it, even in achieving, if you are alone.

The Job

Dana Whitaker: "The truth is, I have a job that involves me, and stimulates me, and rewards me, and takes up a lot of my time, and I'm not willing to do my job just a little bit. I want to do ALL of it. It's part of me, and I'm different without it. And that is who I am, and that is who you need to love." Beware!!!!


Today I have no job, no kids around, no seminary to teach, my attitude is like Dana Whitakers' it's all or nothing. I miss the chaos.  I miss the adrenaline of WORK of "The Job" whatever that job might have been.
My Mother taught me to work.  She taught me to go to work. She taught me to be busy and to lead.  I use to be so bothered when she retired wondering why she had such a hard time just relaxing, why didn't she just enjoy - Finally! - the freedom that she had to not have to work or go to the job.  I'm sure I took advantage of her presence in my house because she was such a "go getter" leaving her with the kids, "letting" her do the dishes, laundry or whatever. But today I get it, what else was she to do.  She worked all of her life, what was she suppose to do now?  

I on the other hand this past year, I have not been a "go getter".  

• When I worked, which I started doing at the age of 12 I gave it all I had.  
• As a young married I swore I'd never work, that my kids would not be "latch key" children. But after having my babies (the first ones any way) I could not wait to get back to work.  Yes I dropped off Apryl at Betty Abbotts one morning at 5:30 am and cried all the way to work. But I got over it!  Sadly.  
• Then I had Austin. Apryl never really seemed to care if I left her, she'd rather the "friends" even at a young age. But Austin, he never liked me leaving him anywhere, in fact he didn't like being left away from his home. But setting that aside (as I very much so did) I liked working.  Much more "atta girls" in the work place than at home. Sadly. I again gave it my all - working 60 to 70 hours a week, on the clock or off - I was there. They "that company" NEEDED me, I thought "I had a job that involved me, stimulated me and rewarded me".  
• Then one day My husband was gone.  I thought I could have it all work, kids and the social life. Three months later, I regretted my choice.
• Family was much more important to me and I did a reboot and made the decision, along with my husband to be home. To come home and be a mom. I have never regretted it, not one single day. But the adjustment was hard I reprogrammed myself to believe that my new "job that would involve me, stimulate me, and reward me" was to be a Mom.
• 26 years later a new chapter is starting, a new transition, no Wait - it started over a year ago. The problem is I don''t know what this job is but i do know; I am not involved, stimulated or rewarded. The relaxing, the darkness and well, lets just say it - the slothfulness have slipped in slowly, so slowly I barely noticed and it has me like a flaxen cord!!!   I kinda noticed but ignored it, like my weight which is back in Full Swing over the last year. I've sat back not engaging, not getting involved, not working. I've started over and over again but with no reward. I am a task oriented worker.  I did make a list of projects - I even have most of them done.  But raking leaves, pulling weeds, cleaning house even watching TV are so boring alone. Slap me in the face and kick my butt! I guess it's been a slow day.
• Oh Mom! I miss you! I get it. I'm sorry.  But I'm so glad Grateful and blessed that Richard supported me worked with me and loved me and that I got to be a full time mom and early morning seminary teacher.
• Tonight I pray my sons and daughters hear me when I say - make good choices. Your Job is your family. Double check your priorities. Be involved, stimulated and loved - in this is your reward.

Also; this wasn't going to be about my mother at all - I wanted to talk about me!!!  It's suppose to be about me and the fact that I like to work and it's time to pull my head out - wish me luck!

A letter from Iris ... Her 30th Mothers Day 1973

   

My Dear Kids, as this, my 30th Mothers Day, approaches it makes me more than aware of the responsibility that has been entrusted to me in the rearing of the four choice spirits that came into our home and of the failure I've made of that trust!
     There are several of the best known holidays that have always been special to me and that I've tried to help you kids and your father feel excited about.  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July they all are very meaningful to me -- not just for the well known reasons, but because they are significant in drawing a family closer together if that family will allow the deep feelings to develop, that these days arouse.
     Perhaps the two days that really meant the to me, though, are Mothers Day and my own birthday. Believe it or not the two seem closely related -- Each year as my birthday comes I feel so grateful to my Mother and to all those that have helped my life amount to the little it does.  And since I've had you kids after I thought for so long that I'd be denied that privilege, I just can not express the gratitude I feel for each one of you.  And of course for Daddy for helping me to become a Mother!!
     As it is a special day for me I'd like to use it as an excuse to do something I try not to do and that is to say some of the serious things that are so often on my mind.  They are not new things nor are they different -- so if you do not want to read farther now is the time to toss this in the waste basket.
     As each of you has grown up and even matured a little most of the time I've felt pride in your endeavors.  Oh and of course there are the little things I've seen or known of that I'd like to change but until the past two years I've always told myself that soon you would remember who you are and why you are here on this earth and make an effort to live as you have been taught.  But as I've watched you all get farther an farther away, not only from me (and I do not mean in distance) but from every semblance of religion of worship of God I've had a hard time not doing some preaching!!  and some pleading!!  to beg you, each one of you to take a long look at yourselves and what you really want -- to realize how short a time the life we live on this earth is and how long the eternities will be and ask if it means nothing to any of you that we cannot be a family in the hereafter if we don't live more righteously and more unitedly here and now.  Oh my dear kids how I love you, I'd give anything I have to help you see what you are are doing, even my life if it would help.  No one of you is really happy -- no one of you is doing with his or her life what you really want nor what you have been taught and yet their isn't one of you that isn't specifically blessed in one way or another that could be instrumental in make your own life so much more complete.  If you'd just read your patriarchal blessing and try to live as you have been taught you'd be much more happy and probably more prosperous!!!  At any rate -- may I take this opportunity to bear my testimony to you that I KNOW that God Lives, that He hears and answers prayers and that "IF" we make the effort to keep our lives in tune with His spirit we will (you will) feel an inner peace and joy that nothing earthly can give to us.
     My love for each of you is more than I have the capability of expressing.  Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the desire to just put my arms around you and weep with joy because you came into my life.  Thanks to each of you for the much happiness you give to me and for the opportunity to become a little bit more complete person because of the trials you've also brought into my life.  Please forgive me for the many times I've failed to give you the right kind of counsel, or been too strict or not strict enough, please know I've tried to do my best but not always been wise.

Remember
I love You,
 Mother

Search diligently, Pray Always and Love Unconditionally

Elder Sobczak

This is my son - Amric!  He is presently serving a mission in California.

You might (if you know me at all, recall that I mentioned a few times that I was and am missing Amric and that for my Birthday My sweet husband, Richard gave me a cardboard rendition of him, we call him "flat Amric"

"Flat Amric" and Richard summer 2013

It was a wonderful "bittersweet" kind of gift - it made me laugh and cry at the same time!

We haul him around the house, talk to him in his room bring him out to watch TV with us, I even took him to Relief Society with me once!  

"Flat Amric" hanging out by the clock!

Often you could find him just hanging out by the clock or looking out the window at the lake, he loved the lake, the beach and just being outside!

Loading up in Nebraska

Then one day we got a new job, packed up our things and moved away from our house on the lake.  In an effort to be sure that "flat Amric didn't get lost ... (mostly i was worried about him being bent) I secured a spot for him in with the Pictures that were to be packed the day the movers came over.  So I didn't see "Flat Amric" for a few weeks.  

When we unloaded in our new house I sat picture boxes in the corner - safe and sound thinking I'd get him out when the house was all sat up again protecting him, keeping him safe and sound.  I sorted and trashed, I gave away and set up. 

 Moving is a crazy crazy process.

Unloading in Washington

Well This week I felt unpacked enough that it would be safe to bring him out.  Unpacked one box and then another... he was no where to be found.  So I went to his room I unpacked everything - he was not there. I went to the garage I franticly unpacked the rest of the boxes in the garage - no Amric.  I felt the complete since of bad parenting, not doing it right, leaving him somewhere and not following up on him, what was I going to do, where is Amric??!!??  I prayed "Heavenly Father help me know where to look" -  Ok I know you think I'm nutty here but think of all the analogies! I did.  Where are our kids? How much attention do we pay to what they are doing, who they are with? what they are watching? if they are warm or too cold? fed or even if their homework is done - I don't know being a parent is HARD WORK!!!  Do we keep them so protected that they can't survive in the world? do we not pay enough attention thinking of our own selves first?  Oh I could go on and on asking myself these questions and more concerning  all the kids I've taught or the grandkids the nieces and nephews...over the years and the individual names I pray for? I could name them here too along with all my worries and stewardship  - But I won't - different story, different day!

 This is me and my story today ... I just never gave up.  I have diligently, really searched and prayed for about a week now for "flat Amric" and for myself and how to find him.  Then this morning at 3 AM out of a sound sleep I was awaken by the words "you never even opened the glass table top box,  you just gave it away".  I sat up with a start! I had sent a 36" square glass table top marked glass table top, the box about 3" deep to the DI truck - reason -because I've been "cleaning house", - getting rid of things...things that we haven't used or have dragged around from move to move - I thought, at the time, I knew what it was and I didn't even open it, sending it away!  I was as they say "judging a book by its cover!"

I couldn't go back to sleep. When Richard awoke and the thought had not gone away for hours  I mentioned the words to him that I'd heard and we said together "we have to go find him".

Bless his heart he went with me to the donation trailer and we dug for an hour under what other people had placed inside searching diligently to find that box that I had discarded without even opening it up. Oh and a side note ... People throw stuff away that isn't useable don't donate gross shower curtains, worn out mattresses, broken lamps and pieces of glass - take your crap to the dump, I digress :)  I should have taken pictures but we were searching in the rain and the cold! Also noted here was a new found confidence in my husband realizing how much he both loved and trusted me, to go and actually help me search.

YES! yes he was there!  wrapped up tightly, safely and unharmed with the glass table top!  OHHH Amric. I hope I never loose you, I pray for you out there in the world everyday for your success and safety for your health and good choices.  I hope we all pray for our kids every day - I know I do.  I know my Mother did or I'd be nuttier than I am now and you can see that is pretty nutty!!!  I know I will never give up on the ones I love, even from my perspective the ones lost and alone out in the cold.

What I have also discovered since is that during this time that "flat Amric" was lost  down south in California, Elder Amric was having some trouble he too was searching for himself, learning about who he is. It's all just a wonderful insightful lesson about stewardship, motherhood  and unconditional love. All things my mom did a great job of throughout her life with her actions teaching me.  thanks mom I miss you (was it your voice I heard?).  Miss you too Am, hang in there ;) to my kids with kids you hang in there too and Pray for them everyday of your life by name.

What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness and go after that which is lost until he find it?  Luke 15:4

If thou shalt find that which thy neighbor has lost, thou shalt make diligent search till thou shalt deliver it to him again.   Doctrine and Covenants 136:26

thank you, to who ever the angel was that put those words in my head at 3am.

You might like this talk -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B6FXdACLbI