A letter from Iris ... Her 30th Mothers Day 1973

   

My Dear Kids, as this, my 30th Mothers Day, approaches it makes me more than aware of the responsibility that has been entrusted to me in the rearing of the four choice spirits that came into our home and of the failure I've made of that trust!
     There are several of the best known holidays that have always been special to me and that I've tried to help you kids and your father feel excited about.  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July they all are very meaningful to me -- not just for the well known reasons, but because they are significant in drawing a family closer together if that family will allow the deep feelings to develop, that these days arouse.
     Perhaps the two days that really meant the to me, though, are Mothers Day and my own birthday. Believe it or not the two seem closely related -- Each year as my birthday comes I feel so grateful to my Mother and to all those that have helped my life amount to the little it does.  And since I've had you kids after I thought for so long that I'd be denied that privilege, I just can not express the gratitude I feel for each one of you.  And of course for Daddy for helping me to become a Mother!!
     As it is a special day for me I'd like to use it as an excuse to do something I try not to do and that is to say some of the serious things that are so often on my mind.  They are not new things nor are they different -- so if you do not want to read farther now is the time to toss this in the waste basket.
     As each of you has grown up and even matured a little most of the time I've felt pride in your endeavors.  Oh and of course there are the little things I've seen or known of that I'd like to change but until the past two years I've always told myself that soon you would remember who you are and why you are here on this earth and make an effort to live as you have been taught.  But as I've watched you all get farther an farther away, not only from me (and I do not mean in distance) but from every semblance of religion of worship of God I've had a hard time not doing some preaching!!  and some pleading!!  to beg you, each one of you to take a long look at yourselves and what you really want -- to realize how short a time the life we live on this earth is and how long the eternities will be and ask if it means nothing to any of you that we cannot be a family in the hereafter if we don't live more righteously and more unitedly here and now.  Oh my dear kids how I love you, I'd give anything I have to help you see what you are are doing, even my life if it would help.  No one of you is really happy -- no one of you is doing with his or her life what you really want nor what you have been taught and yet their isn't one of you that isn't specifically blessed in one way or another that could be instrumental in make your own life so much more complete.  If you'd just read your patriarchal blessing and try to live as you have been taught you'd be much more happy and probably more prosperous!!!  At any rate -- may I take this opportunity to bear my testimony to you that I KNOW that God Lives, that He hears and answers prayers and that "IF" we make the effort to keep our lives in tune with His spirit we will (you will) feel an inner peace and joy that nothing earthly can give to us.
     My love for each of you is more than I have the capability of expressing.  Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the desire to just put my arms around you and weep with joy because you came into my life.  Thanks to each of you for the much happiness you give to me and for the opportunity to become a little bit more complete person because of the trials you've also brought into my life.  Please forgive me for the many times I've failed to give you the right kind of counsel, or been too strict or not strict enough, please know I've tried to do my best but not always been wise.

Remember
I love You,
 Mother

I "POaST" about my life 1969 1970 1971 7th and 8th grade

Sorry, this one has two years of school mixed up in it somehow! it's long!!

I like to note the Encyclopedias and the wonderful flowered TV tray, of which we had 4 and had many a meal on our favorite TV trays while watching the television! Sunday nights were my favorite All in the Family with Daddy and Saturdays watermelon and milk shakes while watching something with mom.  Also note the hats on the counter, never worn in the house, never touched by the children!

1970 Family Together With Tom last sunday before Vietnam pretty much sure it was the last time he went to church I remember singing "God Be With You Til We Meet Again" and all of us just bawling. Dad waited at home.

Since I have been married we have moved alot, living in several different places.  Result is our children were in and out of several different schools (one year they attended 4 schools in the same grade!).  Growing up I lived at the same address for my school girl days but for some reason attended two different elementary schools, three different Junior Highs and finally One High School, but high school is a story for later!

In 1969-70 I went to Mesa Junior that was a crazy year.  Moving from Elementary to junior High is a some what traumatizing experience, well it was for me anyway. No more Class Photos! It was the end of some things and the beginning of well, lots of things.  

• In 4th5thand6th grade I played the flute in band, but when we got to Jr High and because I played a "loaner" instrument 7th grade I was low man on the totem pole I had to take what instrument was left if I still wanted to play in the band.  So...Alto Clarinet was my default choice!
• I rode the bus to school when I went to Franklin Elementary, but in 7th grade the boundary line was drawn.  If I had lived across the street I could have ridden it, but since I didn't I could not.  The bus driver knew me from elementary school so I couldn't say that I lived elsewhere, besides he wasn't very found of me, Debbie and I had caused some maham on the bus in the 6th grade that he hadn't forgotten.  The reason I even bring this up is the ALTO CLARINET, remember my mom works she often took me in the mornings but I had to walk home in the afternoon let me remind you also about the scorching heat in Arizona! Carting this ridiculous instrument home everyday to practice was suppose to be the rule!  If you know me at all you know this was not my favorite thing and practice was minimal, especially towards the end of the year, maybe on friday I brought it home!  Thus we see NO FIRST CHAIR for me!!!
• My Bishop was a Math teacher.  This made me very uncomfortable! Nope no other story just a comment in my diary!
• My english class required lots of reading.  This teacher, liked the SUN she would invite us to take our books and go outside and sit in the sun to read.  eeewwwghh! I've already mentioned the heat.  Plus I hated to read.  I couldn't focus.  I have no image of what I am reading. Maybe that is why in doing this (blogging) I always use pictures!  I Read magazines back to front.  I even today need to read out loud to make myself to pay attention and know what I've read. My reading rules for best understanding are; read it to yourself, Read it again, Read it outloud. Maybe then I will remember, but not for long. Testing then becomes a real problem for me.  That year we were reading H. G. Wells Journey to the Center of The Earth, I have no idea what it said I only remember being made to sit in the sun to read it.
• Friends shifted this year also.  My friends from Franklin Elementary went to Carson. I had made friends who went with me, but I was so sad to loose Annette and Greg especially.  My friends now, are Nancee, Connee, Sandy and her sister Brenda (two sets of twins completely different from each other) I am very adaptable, I get along with all kinds! Well except at school with my church friends who were a little to squeaky clean for my taste!  I still had of course my girls Jane, Debbie and Sheila but they were students! I don't seem to have really been a student.  I guess this is when I started to rebel!  
• I didn't really like going to class and this is the year I started to willingly not go to class. I liked both lunches.  I liked DQ. and I didn't like sitting still, Math or reading.  One time I remember getting caught and being sent to the Principle. While in the principal's office, after he called my Mother to come get me and while we waited we took a stroll to the Shop class where the "PADDLE" hung and I was paddled 3 times and before being sent home.  To top this off (from my perspective) Mom was even madder at me than she would have been I think, just because her sister, my Aunt El is here visiting.  It embarrassed her that I had done such a thing.
• I very very much liked track.  I did pretty good at these events even in the heat. But do not like running long distance, I'm a sprinter that's for sure and I really like long jump.
• I dance 2 or 3 times a week.  It's right across from the school so that is wonderful. I am involved in recitals and contests and I do well!!!
• Sandra Sue Anderson was my counter part in all things 7th grade.  I met her in the 2nd grade We didn't like each other at first, me because she was "real good in playing games like kick ball, baseball just everything and that I'm not. She shows me up all the time and beats me up part of the time!" I write in my diary!  One day after school we were having a contest to see who could kick their shoe up on the roof the highest and farthest...mine got stuck up there and Sandys mom made her go up and get it for me (not that I was afraid to climb up there and get it myself!), and we've been friends ever since!  She had a gopher named conrad I was scared to death of it, those girls loved that thing!
  
  Our friend CD (Cedilla) worked in the office so she got us passes to skip class.  One day we were called to the office, we thought she should go too, so we went and got her from class saying she'd been called to the office also.  When we got there Principle Wheeler said "Oh you were with them too?"  "boy she was mad at us. We just couldn't stop laughing though and that only got us into more trouble.  We got study hall for a week every night after school for 2 (TWO) hours! She went with me to Camp one year - it was a great friendshipping moment in time.  I know she loved it too. She was catholic and her parents very much against her coming to church with me or camp!  I went to church with her a few times. Brenda was quiet, not loud like me and Sandy.  Sandy and I went thru ups and downs good times and bad, but we always came thru with flying colors. When we went into High School we kinda took up different friends and different habits,  she "the Jock" and "me the Dancer"  may have had something to do with it.  But we will always be friends in spirit for her spirit is tender hearted. When I came home from living in California for a visit she is where I went. I felt unconditional love from her and I had will always have that for her. She is my friend forever.

My church has a youth group that I am now attending and they planned a trip to roosevelt Lake, we climbed up to some Indian Ruins I really do like to hike.  We also had a picnic. It was very windy so the picnic was cleaned up quickly and put away and then we started up the mountain.  On the way down the wind was pushing me and I just started to run it was bliss I remember feeling like I was flying and loving every minute of it.  I could mention here that I might have also been trying to keep up with a boy!  The ruff and ragged trail had switch backs the wind caught me, I didn't turn and went from one level of the trail to the next threw the rocks, dirt and cactus! I tore my knee open, it was bad and a very long drive back into the city.  We met mom at the church and she took me directly to the hospital.  It took hours to be done at emergency two shots of anesthesia into my knee and 18 stitches later I was home!  Mother again, not very happy with me, an expense I am sure we couldn't afford.  But me and that Mesa Community hospital we were friends!  I went to dance anyway broke stitches and had to go back it was ugly, I had to stop going to dance for 2 months after that! and then barely caught the end of track.

In the Summer I went with Judyann to Colorado I thought I was hot stuff because she was taking me on vacation with her, Lexie and Janet!  Oh man!  After Flagstaff we saw a couple a guy hitchhikers and she picked them up!!! I was so thrilled and scared to death that she had done such a crazy dangerous thing, this I write; "was the coolest most FarOut thing I'd been a part of"!  I also write about the change in weather; "The thing is I'm so excited by the time we got to flag I was already freezing! I was sticking my head out the window and I loved it, it made my head feel one hundred percent better... we stayed in Blanding, had an ear of corn for breakfast! Grandma did not approve of Judyanns cut offs!!!  Then we left for Durango, got there and waited for Marsha - she never showed and Sis was ticked off.  We drove to a beautiful water fall where I drank some good ole Rocky Mt. Spring water. (on our way from Durango and to Montrose is where we stopped.)  We hiked to those falls and now sis is sore - but I am not!!!  Box canyon so so cool so neat!   While we were hiking sis tore her cut offs.  When we got to Montrose we went to church. The only one who recognized Sis was Rosco Austin, he and his wife new her. They invited us to dinner they have a daughter she's 14.  I remembered when seeing  her the lady who watched me when we lived here and she has a son named Robert as well - I saw them.  My Sister is so cool, I love doing stuff with her!  I wish we could do more stuff together.  I wish we could do more stuff together than just me rubbing her feet!!!"  
I go on ... "We went to Grand Jct. to see her BFF from High School her name was Margarite they went out and left me home to babysit!  I had never seen much less used a dishwasher I was pretty excited about doing the dishes I loaded them up and filled it with Dish soap ... suds started to come out the bottom of the dishwasher!  Water the soap everywhere!  Needless to say the house was spotless even mopped floors when they got home".  Back then I was the best babysitter, and when I did this job I cleaned house, did the dishes and even did wash too! I'm ecstatic that;  "I haven't had a headache since I've been here in this cool air - isn't that neat"?!!!.
We left Margarites and went as far as oh about 20 miles then we stopped for gas and the car wouldn't start so "we went to the head cat there and he got some of those wire things to start it they went from his motor to our motor"!  When it started "We drove as far as well price area, between Price and Thistle and we camped - it was a blast!"
After colorado we went to see Aunt El we stopped "at Idaho Falls (they are beautiful).  The Salmon river is right there in front of the cabin.  We went swimming and fishing.  Holy smokes you have to take a trolley across the river to her cabin if that isn't scary I don't know what is - especially at night!  I caught fish!  Most were too small and Uncle Ross said to throw them back. Over to vegas we went to see Uncle Otis and Aunt Audruff then back home".  It was the most exciting vaca ever.

Eighth grade brings me to a spilt schedule at Carson Jr High.  I couldn't have been more happy.  

• I can ride the bus now, this school is even farther away.
• school is NOON to SIX!  Noon to six!!! This is my schedule.  I loved it.
• Choir. No Band (surprise). and I'm trying to like English it's more writing this year than reading and I really like that.  But Math - no. Track is cool. and Life is FAR OUT!
• One of my friends got pregnant.  I think I went most of the year without even knowing this.  "We were at a softball game watching Sandy" and this girl was there, mom ask "Is so and so pregnant?" and I remember being agasp - "NO! Of course not!" but she was.
• I tried out for Young Americans the swing choir of Junior High for next year and I made it!
• I'm pretty much "in love" with whoever!!! and it seems I just really "wanting" someone to love me.  Ahh, if I could only have known it didn't matter back then and just not had that as a focus.
• I did really liked going to firesides and my church meetings.

Timmy came home for a visit. In Moms Journal she wrote that he was "fat and has a Chinese mustache"!  I guess things are up in the air for he and Kathy. I hear talk they might be getting a divorce.
Tom in Vietnam he writes and keeps us really posted on his comings and goings unlike his brother! Timmy says "no news is good news". Tom sends letters home every week. I miss him so much and I know mom and Daddy are always so worried about them.  Tom sends me a card from a deck of cards with each letter "when he comes home he will bring me the box."  I love it. I love him.

Karen, Urlene, Betty, Stan, Sister Green, Sandy, Kelly, Mom, Jane and Mary Jepson

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the same organization no matter where you live!  In every journal in February I am getting lists ready and organizing in one way or the other Camp for the Young Women ages 12-18!!!  Lists of certification.  Lists that name YCL's.  Lists that are who will and who won't go as a leader!!  I'm sure other times will show up to tell of camp experience, but I can testify here and now that it molded me as a youth, it left life long experiences with me as to the person I would become ... that of going to camp every year as a teen-ager.  Skills and nature, it's right up there with "NO WAY" and "No HOW" will I ever need to know that, but who knows when we may indeed need to know how to do CPR, start a fire or purify water to drink.  And  ohhhh to be in shape to walk, and run and help those in need.  It's all so critical and we don't even know it!!!

"Went to camp.  It was a great great year.  I love going to camp.  I love the feeling and the spiritual awareness when we are out in the trees.  We had church in the grove and people talked and bore testimony.  The boys came up and passed the sacrament to us - it was so far out!  I love Betty and I am so glad she got to come to camp with us girls. I love the singing and the friends that I make at camp. I am not to good at the crafts but I love the certifying and the JCs - I just want to be them so bad".

When I got home from camp this letter (not my mom) was waiting for me (FYI; this is ICONIC for exactly how I was raised);

Sunday June 13, 1971
My own dear Kelly Sue how thrilled I was to be able to up to visit you at that beautiful place today and how proud to have you be one from that whole group of girls to give a prayer.  It is a choice blessing to have yo participate in such things and to be known for your ability to do so. It was also a pleasure to have you neatly dress in a dress, which tho Too short, was not indecently so and your hose and shoes were in good taste. Oh how my heart swells with love and pride to know the Lord allowed me to be your earthly Mother and have your sweet spirit in my home. It is my heart felt desire to do those things which will enable me to be with you for eternity.
     Betty and Stan are fine young people who are doing everything within their power to live close to the Lord and be blessed with His spirit to guide and direct them that they might do good for their fellow men and particularly for you girls. Do you realize that besides the fact that it is a sacrifice for Betty to be gone from home for the time she is at camp that they spend a lot of money to do things for you. For instance today besides the gas and so on for the car, the chicken salad, etc it cost them about $15.00 out of their own budget. Then to hear Betty say that after at the meeting for cabin mothers where they were told to go to their cabins and kneel in prayer with their group that she couldn't even get her girls together to even deliver a message was a very real disappointment. You, who has the potential to be a real leader of the group were not even there. Now do not misunderstand; Betty was not complaining -- she was feeling that she had not done her due diligence, and I'm sure her heart must have hurt when you made the remark that those girls were really lucky to have such a neat cabin mother as Patty. I very much doubt that even Patty with all her beauty and charm could care more for you and be more concerned for your real and lasting happiness!
     Perhaps you get tired of me telling you what a special person you are and because of being so, that I want so very much for you to try to live worthy of the special blessings meant to be yours. I'm so pleased you are able to go to camp, to have all the opportunities to make friends; both young and old - to learn all sorts of arts and crafts, to sing, to dance, to pray and play with all your camp friends. It is sometimes hard for me to remember that you are not a little child any more and that it displeased you for me to come to camp and be part of your experience and I apologize for intruding on your week of pleasure. Next time, I'll send the treats and the money and stay home - okay?
     You are precious and dear to me and I humbly pray our Fathers blessings for you. Please try to learn to be True to the BEST that is in you.

Mother

Went to Blanding to see grandparents I didn't want to go this time. But "I am glad I did since we got here. Went to the show with Ned and his friends. I Love the Trampoline at Smiths and he is reteaching me to play chess. Went with Lynda on the dirt bikes and walking with aunt Guen.  On Sunday" May 1971 "I got my patriarchal blessing.  It was so humbling. I don't know what to think. I am so excited to some day be a Mom".  



Mom and Daddy went on a vaca - believe me this did not happen but two or three times in my life time!  I stayed with Betty and Stan Abbott. I found out Mom has been reading my diary and is bugging me to keep writing ... she says someday I'll want to remember stuff like when Urlene left or when I went to BYU or Uncle Otis.  She left me a note that said "Remember to say your prayers! The most important thing in this life is keeping close your Heavenly Father.  Be true to Him and to yourself. We will always be proud of you and of our faith in you. We want to trust you. Tho you may wonder about or even question what Daddy or I do or say, please, sweeheart, Never, Never question our very deeep love for you. Lovingly Mother"

I "POaST" about my life -- 1969

1968 Easter

1969 Easter

I start out the year with a visit to the local movie theater to see "Live a Little Love a Little" and "Westside Story"!  Tom is missing church to go to rodeos almost every Sunday.  Sometimes we go to watch, but after we attend our meetings.  I just want to be like Debbie Earnhardt she is a barrel racer and I love her clothes!!!  (Oh man!)  I am in Advanced Band playing the clarinet.  Urlene is "just" in music!!! (haha!)  Urlene and I created a "Fort" where we could go and be away from the world it's UNDER the addition to the trailer (Tom's room)! AGAIN OH MAN!  I really like to go to Primary and learn, make things and see my friends.  The School bus drops me off at the church and then I walk home.  Sometimes we stop at Kennys Hamburger Drive Inn and eat, play to Juke box and dance for the people there!! AGAIN OH MAN!

My 6th grade class Mr. Kemp

My friends were in both of the schools 6th grade classes (Franklin Elementary on Main Street in Mesa) so I bought both pictures!  Debbie was my friend we were tight, but she sometimes annoyed mom.  Once I wrote that Deb came over again today and just walked in without knocking and was load and happy.  Mom told her "You do it again I'm calling the police"  oh Mom, calm down - I wonder where I got that attitude of mine!!!  She hated it when Debbie was late and we had to wait for her when we took her places. One time we got into alot of trouble fighting over our barbies.  Her brother Mark got his hand stuck and almost pulled off his thumb once in our ringer style washing machine!

the other 6th grade class Mr Bryant

Judyann faints alot. One day she fainted after takinga shower I didn't know what to do. She lay there having a seizure I called for help and held her I called mom to come home and we took her right to the doctor. the doctor said she had heart problem, so we went to another doctor and he said it isn't heart its thyroid.  P.S. when she sleeps its weird cuz her eyes look like they are open!  creeps me out!  

This year Uncle Blackie Died

Aunt El and Uncle Blackie when they were married in Wyoming

Judyann, Uncle Blackie, Tom and TIm

I had worked really hard to plan a "Father / Daughter" hoedown with hay bails and western music so that my Daddy would come with me and I could show up at the church and they could all see that I really do have a Father! Jane worked with me because she wanted her dad to want to come to the church too (we had the non member fathers!).  Then it happened, Aunt El calls - "Uncle Blackie died at 5:30 in the morning having coffee at the breakfast table he just keeled over".  Now we have to go to Salt Lake City in the middle of the winter and miss my Primary activity - WOW! a little selfish kel! 

 But what is better is the story of the actual trip to SLC!  Mom flew up immediately to be with Aunt El. Daddy, Judyann and I drove up in her Oldsmobile!  I can remember the whole trip like it was yesterday.  Sis was driving, Dad in the passenger seat me in the back.  We are approaching Flagstaff and snow was everywhere!  So when we pull into Flag, stopped to get gas the guy there tells Daddy that there is snow all the way to Salt Lake so we need chains!  Thus we leave the car to have the chains put on and we go across the street to eat breakfast!  We then head out.  When you pull out of Flag going north you can see forever ... what we saw was NO SNOW!  Judyann had her hair in curlers as big as frozen orange juice cans (in fact they might have been OJ cans!) Dad started swearing up a storm.  He made her pull over and made her take off the chains (really dad?? why don't you just cuss and pace and smoke while sis take the chains off) so she gets them off now all muddy and her hair a wreck!!! Then before she could pick them up off the ground and put them in the trunk dad threw them in the car on the floor board of the front seat.  Every time he would move his boots they would make a noise and remind him and he would go off again.  It makes me laugh now, just thinking about it, but I remember just curling up on the floor in the back seat and crying myself to sleep. 
I see in Moms journal that she wrote "it pleased me so much to have Tim make such an effort to leave the stables and make the trip to Blackies funeral with Judyann and Kelly Sue.  He is kind and considerate of me!"   WOW!

Mom and Dad went on a little Vaca (that didn't happen often) and it seems I must have not liked it at all.  She wrote me this letter;

My dear little miracle daughter, as we go on our vacation this morning you feel "left out" but you really aren't! No matter where we go or what we do and see we will think of you and many times we will say - "Kel would like that" or "Obe would get a kick out of this." In other words sweetie we love you whether we are with you or not.

Honey I have a feeling you didn't quite tell me true about your diary, so why not go back the days that you haven't written and write.  It's important to write in your diary.Someday you'll want to remember when Urlene left or when you started helping Mrs. S. or BYU Week or talking to Charles!

Remember to say your prayers! The most important thing in this life is keeping close to your Heavenly Father.  Be true to Him and to yourself and we will always be proud of you and of our faith and trust in you.  Though you may wonder about or even question what Daddy or I do or say, please, sweetheart, NEVER NEVER question our very deep love for you.

Be your kind sweet self and help those you can.

lovingly Mother.

If I were to write you a letter...

Journaling, "The Word", letters, a card and today's social media are all kinds of ways to communicate with others.  Who doesn't love to get a letter?

the family at HOME a long time ago

 My Mom had a wire Cat that held important bills receipts documents and a letter all so that if anything happened to her we would know how to proceed.  Every time she left town to visit family, (because those are the only vacations she ever took) she would update the "letter" and remind me of it's existence.  That letter haunted me.  I didn't want to know that it was there, but I wanted to know what it said. A conundrum!  What would Mother write that if she never were to see or talk to me again... what did she think was so important that each time she left it needed to be updated replaced and re mentioned??

One time we were out in Westport and one of my kids ask me what would I want him to do with his life when I'm gone.  It seems to be on my mind an awful lot these last few weeks Both the letter of moms and the question asked innocently at a ball park on a wonderful evening in Westport.  This week especially it has been on my mind.  I don't know if its the baby grands being here, graduations happening all around, birthdays coming up, my cholesterol being double what it should, my thyroid being out of whack, moving and moving again or a compilation of it all.  

1994 when we could walk her to the gate!

1994 Bye Mom!

My Mother was very good to come visit me - well us.  Every time I took her to the airport to go back to Arizona I would wonder if I would see her again.  I would go home and write her a letter. 

 It's all got me to thinking just this ... If I were to write you a letter this is what I'd say....

1. Happy Birthday.  I am so grateful to have been involved in your life.  Even more grateful to have learned, laughed and loved YOU.  You have taught me so much.  Love is a Verb.
 Don't YOU be the Weak Link.

2. Live each Day -- choose to be Happy -- Keep in contact with those you love.  Thank them for being part of your life. SHOW that you are Grateful.  Do your Best.  Don't over think everything.  Meet people greet them with a hand shake and smile, and then WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!  Actions Speak louder than words.  Remember be True to the Faith that you already have.

3.  Remember that people aren't perfect. Be courteous. Be Forgiving.  Do service for others.   Even writing a letter can be a kindness, a good work, take a moment and write a letter.  Don't Judge it will ALWAYS Kick You in the Butt!  Remember "the Lord sees weaknesses different than He sees rebellion".

4.  Always look after and protect those more vulnerable than you.  Protect the children and the elderly.  See their humility and their courage award them for it, and strive to be humble and courageous yourself. Life is about Learning...Wisdom is Knowledge rightly applied.

5.  Say Your Prayers Everyday.  Read your Scriptures at least one verse a day. Look Up.  Remember who you are. Ask God to help you. Ask Him anything!  Be still and listen.  Bare your testimony to someone once a week.  Tell someone that ONE thing that you BELIEVE.


My "one thing" is the Atonement.  I believe in this crazy Plan of Happiness.  I know that when I'm not striving to do these things, I'm not happy.  I agree it's a conundrum at times!  But I promise things will be ok IF you do the previously mentioned things.  I know that I felt the love of the Savior and the weight of my sins be lifted off of my shoulders.  It is my grounding point. A foundation. My one thing I come back too, if that day wasn't real.  If the feelings I feel for the scriptures when I read them aren't real then I'm not happy and when I'm not happy I over think, get depressed, and stop making the choice to do the previously mentioned items 1-5.  I could write 20 more things to make it an even 25, but I won't.  I mostly just wanted to write you a letter telling you I love you and asking you to be HAPPY HONEST AND HOME.   Because at HOME I know YOU REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.

                                                 a letter written with love,
                                                        ksmsthemom!

I "POaST" about my Life --- 1967 ...

4th grade

Spending more and more time at the stables.  
Dad and Tom tease me that I like "a little black kid".  I don't get it?? 

 My Friend Annette had a birthday in March and I wanted to take her a gift. My mother tried to tell me that it just wasn't going to happen, that we don't go into that part of town, again I don't get it.  I've learned since then that they called it "north town" or "the projects".  I did not know or even care that it was different place to live. "Please take me Mom" I asked again and again. I remember a long discussion at the kitchen table. She did take me. I will never forget that day. Mom driving me into that neighborhood and people actually coming out of their house and standing up on their porches watching us.  Again I didn't get it.  Mom sat in the car while I went up and knocked on the door and handed my friends mom her gift. They look bewildered.  I didn't get it.   
This girl was my friend, why wouldn't I take her a present or be invited to her party (which I wasn't by the way!). 
 I ran across this link I think it's super interesting and something at the time I didn't understand or even know about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MILe8kYcwAY

Tom and Kelly

Seems as if mom is working LL THE TIME! I have to be home alone or go to the stables to do chores. I am not found of either thing.  I get in trouble when left home alone, I either bring people in or watch too much tv alone.  I definetly do my chores, Mom scares me! But the threat of Daddy scares me more.  Tom is now going to the stable everyday after school.  I miss hanging with him.  Sometimes he lets me go with he and his crowd to Papago Park to ride horses ... really, he wants me there so I can stand and hold the horses while they skinny dip in the lakes there.  I would never do that or even go in that gross water!  But I love going to this park and hiking and riding horses.  I am scared though when we ride on McDowell with all the traffic.  I love all of Toms friends.

Once my friends Marie and Cotton and I went riding on the canal bank and we were racing the horses back.  My horse screeched to a halt at a place where a side walk path went across the bank and I did not stop! I went over head first! Cotton road like the wind to get Tom.  When he got there he roped me and made me walk back to the stable behind he and his horse with that rope around me.  I went to school after the weekend and Mrs Hunsaker said "Kelly I think your arm is broken". She called mom. We went to the Hospital and sure enough, I'd been 3 days with a broken arm and all my hurting WAS real after all!!! Even though "It was too far from my heart to kill me",  "nor was it Bleeding!" as they all told me over and over again all weekend!!!

KellySue and Judyann when we still lived in the little green trailer

FHE  INSTRUCTIONS -Please Write your Dreams and your Fears...
Daddy
dreams;
Money
good race horse
new truck for my horse trailer
Fears;
I get the Blues
Lack of Money
Tom 
dreams;
Being myself in the Mountains and having Fun
RODEO
Working on a ranch I own
Fears;
revenge
that I'll run
not acting like "I should"
Mother
dreams;
Having all my family going to and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Going Back to School
Being thin enough to wear pants!
Fears;
no unity in my family and they don't go to church
neglecting my home
I don't study enough to improve myself
I wish I could SING!
Kelly Sue
dreams;
i want to be a fairy to make everyone happy give them what they want
i dream of being a teacher and hallering at the children!
I dream to be a mother
Fears
mom and dad mad at me
my toys are broken and gone
being left alone

Kathy and Tim

The Birth of Tim Michael McCoy in El Paso Texas ...

October 16th 1967     7 lbs 13 oz. to the parents Kathy and Tim McCoy 

Mom went to be with them in Texas. 20 Oct these are some Journal entries;
"I am lonesome daddy comes home late. I wait up for everyone to come home Tom isn't even here yet. I watched Perry Mason while I waited. I played like I was having Family Home Eve only no one showed up. I was alone and I turned to the 2nd lesson and I read about knowing Heavenly Father and that he loves me, it helped make me not to be afraid."

and a different night ....

"I was afraid tonight in the dark house I prayed and Tom came home in 5 min. It helps to pray I am glad I read about that last night for my Family Home EVE. I love my mom, I miss her.  Tomorrow I think I have to go sleep at the stable."


and then...
"always people at the stable, but I am still alone. I worked on my hook rug and cleaned the floors. Is that all I am good for to Daddy cleaning?  I believe I picked my mom to come to live with, I wonder why she is always so busy?  I love you Mom.  I miss doing your hair tonight."

TV/Movies/Music

Playing baseball at recess I was pitching and got hit smack dab in the pelvic bone fell to the ground. It was hot. I cried. They called mom I am ok.  I don't like to play baseball.  I like to go to the movies, dance, I like 4 square, jacks and kick ball!  I can't pay attention to read.  Story problems are the worst, reading and Math  eeeeewwwwggggghhhh!

I found this letter that Grandma wrote because she has a new great grandson thought I'd include it here... 

To you my unknown great grandsons and daughters,

I bequeath my love of God and all the revealed principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I bequeath my love of your great grandfather and for our children Otis, Iris and Elda Tomney. I hope you will cherish the memory of Philip Michael Tomney your Great Grand Father. And I hope you will love truth as he did and cultivate the virtue of honesty that he did.  I bequeath to you too the honor and respect for your step Great Grand Father Albert Robinson Lyman that I feel for him. He is truly a man of God, a patriarch, in the church of Jesus Christ and in age is now 87 and still eager to DO all he can for everyone to help them gain Eternal Life and I am grateful to him for all he has done for me.  May God bless you with a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel.  With heartfelt for all my own 

Gladys Perkins Tomney Lyman