The Meanderings of Kelly!!!: missionary work

Showing posts with label missionary work. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

I "POaST" about my life ... 73-74 Junior Year!

Music; In addition to the perfect music already listed in 71-72 blog; Babs, Abba, Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, The Jackson 5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYzpTDc4A0&list=PLBCE7A9F9D30DD790

TV; Rockford Files, Brady Bunch, Mash, Hawaii Five 0, Bob Newhart, Kojak, All in the Family, Happy Days, and American Band Stand to name a few off the top of my head!

Movies; THE WAY WE WERE, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The GodFather, The Great Gatsby and James Bond! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYzpTDc4A0&list=PLBCE7A9F9D30DD790

So this is the year of "throw my hands up in the air"! It looks as if in my journals that school is taking a second fiddle to dance and boys and that dance and boys are bumping each other off every now and then! Ricky and I started dating. Ricky started taking the missionary discussions and chose to be baptized. That night, it was like a dream, I felt like we were floating. The baptism seemed hazy, only at the time I thought it was because he was sad that he'd chosen the church and me over his parents and his siblings. The program was nice. The spirit light and I thought inspirational. When he came out after getting dressed into his dry clothes he just burst out in tears and hugged me and really cried. Like I said I thought he was sad his parents didn't come or something. He attended Youth Conference and all the extra youth activities, but often seemed to be late for or not at Church at all. How'd I miss that? He was controlling and jealous, I was flattered he cared enough to be so. Looking back, I did talk to and flirt, but in an effort to find someone who loved me. Thus we see; I guess I felt I deserved this treatment. I really just loved life and wanted to play and do things, he never saw it that way. Being just a tiny bit afraid of my Daddy, I am thinking now, that might have made me think I was suppose to be just a tiny bit afraid of my boyfriend. WARNING WARNING WARNING: Don't go steady in high school, don't tell one boy that you love him and make your priorities something that you will ever sooner or later regret, you know - just go to class and be honest virtuous and trustworthy. Remember this; that I believe in High School you are creating a PATTERN for the rest of your life. Make it a pattern that fits and doesn't need altering, And if it now needs altering the atonement is a great Tailor thru Jesus Christ...and that's all I've got to say about that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coef8G5ax6E

I've had a job since I was 12 doing one things or another ... mom made me walk around selling Christmas cards personalized with embossed lettering - door to door when it was 120 degrees in August!, I babysat ALOT! and I worked at the Willis Linen Company where mom worked. I worked in the office or in the back wherever they needed me. But when I was actually old enough to legally work (16) I worked 3 to 5 hours everyday after school washing and folding school towels. These people at this place were like a second family. My ward, My Mesa 3rd ward being my first. Note here...that Gas is SUPER EXPENSIVE now and the lines are monstrous even waiting hours sometimes just to buy gas. If I drove moms car too many miles I would have to sit in one of those lines to replace the gas I'd used. I remember it being ridiculous.

Mom Ricky and I went on trips in this car to Texas to meet Kathys family (Timmys wife), and to Rocky Point to see Sis and meet Jorge. Now that's a funny story! We went to surprise my sister, she now lived and worked in Puerto Penasco Mexico. She worked for the Shrimp plant U of A ran on the beach there. She lived in Cholla Bay. What was my Mom thinking? We drove down after she got off work one Friday night when we got there it was dark the roads are sandy and it's amazing we didn't get stuck some where! Anyway we found her we knock on the door to her little blue and silver trailer and - yep! she was surprised!!! We quickly met the love of her life and he went running on down the road! It was a picture I never forgot. But now I see my mom was heart broken and for a year or so I see nothing in her journals or writing. She felt like a failure all of us dumb kids were not being who she wanted us to be. Her example of not ever giving up, of always going to church, always giving 100% to her calling and her visiting teaching and loving me unconditionally, holding FHE and saying prayers with me - she will be blessed for that, even if if at the time I wasn't paying attention. Anyway I digress. Rocky Point was fun and seeing Sis was so exciting (I was 16!) she took us to her work, we went on a tour, we went to the bars, the restaurants, we went shopping for deals and we shot off fireworks. A bottle rocket blew up in the face! Rocky Point was where it was at!

I had gone out on a few dates with Jim and I really liked his sister Sue. That was one of my problems, I loved the families of the guys I dated. Anyway... His Dad died and he went to California he sent me these beautiful flowers. Merry Christmas! Not too much after that.

Betty and Stan Abbott lived in the trailer court with us across the street, by now Timmy is living there but I haven't mentioned them much and I just want to say here we love them. Betty was "like a sister to me" she is "always there for me and she listens and gives advice that is prayerful and kind". To compliment her Stan is a good guy and nice to Mom and I. Betty was my first beehive teacher, Camp Mom, and friend. I Never gave her any trouble!!! ;)

Jane

Janeece Powell moved into the ward my junior year. We probably didn't hit it off at first. Me (I'm sure) doing all the judging - her being blonde and from California and all!!! She and Jane became very close very fast. It was the first time the 4 of us girls had had another girl and it mixed up the mojo for a bit, not that it wasn't already a little haywire us being in high school and girls and all!!! Sheila was the straight laced I've got my life together one. She was a rock, she held us together and I am sure prayed for all of us to get our acts together! Jane she was the brain the school is important and I do well and am involved in anything "greek", (if in High School there would have been anything greek)! She dated Jim for a little bit and so did I. She and I had lots of "life experiences" to bond over. She is a great friend and really made an effort to get me involved and keep me out of trouble. Some of us, just don't listen or appreciate the good friends that we have.

Shelia

Debra Lynn Harper

Debbie well Deb, she was my buddy, my pal. I loved her and her family. I spent alot of time at her house. Who was Debbie? she was the take charge point everyone in the right direction girl. She dated Dale Stark and so did I! In fact it was probablly our biggest fight ever! I thought I was "going out" with him and she showed up at the Seminary Social with his class ring on! Really Kel, how many irons did you have in the fire!!! How was I mad at her? I don't know but I was, but wait, I thought I was dating Ricky, no wait was it Jim I'm pretty sure I didn't know what I wanted, I only knew what I had wasn't right and I didn't know how to get away from it...and thus kept searching for Mr. Right. Speaking of Mr. Right, the other thing I didn't note earlier is that My Mr Ricky Right would never take me to a dance or in fact to anything "public" and we fought at every dance we ever went too.

Please note I have mention several red flags in this blog, Give heed!

So When Jim asked me to go to Prom caring flowers and promised a good time, I said YES! It was a great evening and we looked good! He also asked me to marry him - ring and all! I am not sure what happened maybe it scared me and I ran??? I do that! Once Jim and a bunch of us went out when I was suppose to be at mutual when he took me home mom grabbed me out of that car and kickkkkkked my butt all the way into the house! For heavens sake I was 17! Come to think of it, maybe that is the reason!!! Maybe he ran!

Tami Lea and Tim - Timmy and Kathys Kids pay a visit.

Aunt El writes... Feb '74

Dear Kelly Sue - I wish you could only know and realize what I feel in my heart to tell you. I had such a strong desire to tell you a few things when I was there but I couldn't and didn't and can't yet express to you my feelings. I always hated and resented my mother and my sister preaching gospel to me - yes or anyone else for that matter - why? because I wasn't doing or living the way I should, I knew it, but I didn't do anything about it. I am sure I never had and still don't have the knowledge of the gospel that even you have, however this is not excuse. But how I pray that you will have the desire to go to the Temple with your companion to be married, when you get married - not a year or two or more later but at the time you decide on. I also pray that the Lord will give you the strength to control your emotions and your passion and that you will find a priesthood holder to help you fulfill this great privilege. Ah how I wish you and your Mother could have witnessed George O'Briens marriage by Elder Marion D. Hanks ... It was beautiful!!!

Kelly Sue please pray sincerely, earnestly and humble for the great blessing. I promise you it is worth it. I love you Kelly Sue and am concerned for you. Be wise avoid addictive habits, please run the other way from them. Love Aunt El

P.S. Please don't be mad! I plead with you as I was pleaded to but Kelly Sue I didn't listen - please profit by someones
wrong doings. Love You!!!! Aunt El.

Oh have a mentioned that my sister is pregnant? Parents not happy, but very excepting of a new grandchild. My junior year was a mess at home. I am sure Timmy had done something and was somewhere he shouldn't have been, He is divorced now. The kids came to see us. I love them. I took them and we went to parks and movies and horse back riding while they were here. I want to be a Good Aunt! Tom, well Tom is a no show pretty much all the time. He and his ranches, rodeos and romances! I'm not sure now if it's Val or Nanci????

Monday, February 10, 2014

I've never not wanted to go to Church

Knowing that I am a sinner and knowing church is for the sinner then believing it's also for the saint

I always want to go to church, I never not wanted to go to church. Worthy to be there or not alone or with family. Since I can remember, I liked how it felt.

When we first moved from Colorado to Arizona I was a child of 3 or 4
My sister was a senior in High School and VERY upset that our parents had
taken her away from her friends, her school indeed her very Life!
She did not want to go to church.
I remember standing in that motel that Sunday looking up at her and saying
"Strangers are only friends we haven't met yet" Now I ask myself - How on earth did I know that at such a young age? I believe it was a gift given to me at birth.

The Child, The Daughter

I have never not wanted to go to church, to please Mom - maybe, but it was more than that.

When I was young I went to church with my mom, my brother for awhile, but not my Dad, sister or the eldest brother. In my world the only thing that brought my mother happiness, where I really remember seeing her glow and be at peace show happiness was going to church. My daddy didn't go to church, he told everyone he was Mormon but he wasn't, he wasn't because he didn't want to go to church. The sad part for me was no body knew my Dad in fact most believed I was being raised by a single mom for one reason or another. The happy part for me was those people, those church people became my family. They helped raise me.
Recently I realized that the act of going to church actually taught me several things. For My Mother to whom I am so grateful - for it is she who took me to church every Sunday. In that ONE thing I learned the importance of so many other things; being on time, listening, to look nice "because how you dress is a reflection of how you feel about yourself", Mom taught me to "sit still and listen", she allowed no snacks (which taught me self discipline or at least the need of it!), if given an assignment to fulfill I did it - being taught "you don't say no to a calling" and "responsibility", she insisted on no gum - she said "it looks sloppy", the reassurance of a good hand shake and a smile that "it is polite to greet people with kindness and sincerity", the art of speaking in public, to sing, to pray and to be part of something bigger than myself. All lessons learned because I went to church.

The Youth, The Daughter

I have never not wanted to go to church, even just for me!

Even when I wasn't choosing to DO the things My Mother thought that I Should be doing. Even when I wasn't doing what I thought I Should be Doing. I always went to church. I always Wanted to go to church. Looking back and recognizing my issue with self discipline I'm thinking church is a place I can learn, feel, recognize to be the only place I can see that I exercised self discipline. That at church, for how ever long it was, I engaged in self discipline in lots of different aspects. Because my Mother taught me to go to church every Sunday.

The Young Adult

The Sinner I always want to go to church, alone.

For about 7 years I ward hopped! Jumping ship as soon as someone knew who I was. I didn't want to get to close, let anyone in, be hurt, let them down, be asked to do anything. I felt like a failure. I wasn't living up to the high expectations I had been taught that were expectations of Mom and of myself. The expectations I had of myself, not even just the ones I knew that My Mother had of me. But I in fact still ... always wanted to go to church. And I went. I followed my sister to Rocky Point where she almost one handedly started her own ward up and we went to church! I jumped from ward to ward in Provo, California and Mesa. Being a single young adult and going to church!

The Young Married

The Sinner and striving saint! I always want to go to church, with my family.

I married a man who loved me. A man who accepted me for me, who knew and loved everything about me. I have learned over the years, especially in the last few years you can't do any better than that. In the beginning I tried to push him away. He didn't go to church, he smoked and drank - I didn't and remember... I always wanted to go to church. He went with me to church and has continued to do so for, well coming up on 34 years (2014)! I will forever be in debt to a woman who knew what I needed and didn't follow the spirit by the book but drew outside of the lines and gave me a job in the church that kept me, reminded me of my covenants and goals and the need of going to church. Being young married with kids and jobs and responsibilities is hard, tiresome and tricky to balance. Going to church when you don't want to remember all the things you both teach and learn with the choice of going and of not going! It's not only about you at this point!!!!

The Mom in the nursery, the primary, Mutual, Scouts, Sunday School, or Sacrament Mtg.

I always wanted to go to church with my family. I taught my children the same things taught to me by my mother while doing the ONE thing ... going to church! Sit still, be on time, wear a white shirt or a nice dress, don't run in the chapel, don't whisper while others are speaking, use your "church voice" and on and on you get my drift! I hope and pray they always want to go to church. I have a testimony that Jesus is the Christ. I know that going to church and to the Temple are uplifting, The commandments and as I have stated teach more than just the act of going to church. I believe in families being forever. I know that Joseph Smith went to a grove away from the busy hub-bub of the world he lived in to find a quiet place and pray and ask, (because he consistently read in his scriptures and in them was directed to ask questions) his Heavenly Father what church he should go to. I have a knowledge of the atonement and have felt the burden of sin be lifted from me. I know the Book of Mormon is truly a witness of family, a history of peoples in the new world and Jesus Christ. I have lost every member of my immediate family and could not have gotten thru any of that with out the knowledge of the plan of salvation.

The Wife, the semi empty nester. I don't want to go to church.

We have moved again, for maybe the 40th time in our marriage. I have two bedrooms in this house set up to "look" as if I still have children at home. But I don't. I am busy organizing, doing family histories, writing missionaries, and ... well thats about it. We go to church, we don't know anyone, only one person has spoken to me in 4 months (2014). I swore this time, this move I would act more aggressive be more "in your face" and "I want to know you and fit in". But I haven't. It's even harder to do without kids and without seminary. Richard has gone with me to Sunday School, but he too has not had one person talk to him. They gave us a calling in the ward, that of being a missionary - which I think I said I would do, maybe even covenanted that I'd do when I got baptized back when I was 8 years old! I ask myself; "Aren't you (when I say you I mean I) already a missionary if you are a family member, friend, home teacher, visiting teacher???" I have talked to people about my religion. It is especially easier when my sons were on their missions in Spain, Ohio and California. I have taught classes and worked hard at being a "missionary" in all my days, thinking; "I hope one thing I say might convert one". But this calling, working with my husband, as missionaries it's not going so good and we find ourselves not wanting to go to church. My heart is heavy and sad and I'm not sure where to go next with this one. I feel failure and heaviness so much in my life already, I'm not sure I need this to add to that very long list. I am lost. Because I don't want to go to church.

The Adult, The senior citizen, the wife, the mom, the grandmother. I want to go to church

I was asked a question today about going to church and it prompted me to look for this old blog post. In rereading it I am so grateful that I wrote it and yet again it is confirmed to me that writing is a blessing, a gift and completely necessary for my survival. You'll be surprised to learn that we have moved twice since I originally wrote this and thus attended church in a couple new places. An update on the missionary calling - I did all that I could do in the which I could control, without him because he just wasn't into it at that point in his life. Also I read a book front to back which I hadn't done in years; The Power of Everyday Missionaries, a reminder that we really need to endeavour daily to be positive happy people projecting to others what we positively believe in and know to be true. From then on I've been ask to be a "grandma at church" and teach little children, it's had its ups and downs, my issues with attachment and anxiety being the draw backs here! Because I never had the aunts, the uncles, the grandparents or cousins to bond with I recognize and appreciate the need for the church family. The thing I've learned is to forget myself and go to work (I think I've heard that before!?) When I sit home and mope about being fat or missing the "good ole days" with my seminary kids, being sad cuz my childhood family is dead or wishing my kids live closer and that they all wanted to go to church (sidenote; that is when my mom would shut down and be depressed - those days when she blamed herself for the lack of church in the lives of her children, thats when the light left her), well that too is when I am thinking only of myself, it does me NO GOOD. But when I serve, study, endeavour to be something positive, remember that I can only control myself and and remember the things I learned becasue I never didn't want to go to church, thats when life is better for me. I am so glad that I, only for a twinkling of an eye didn't want to go to church and hope and pray that I, moving forward, sinner or saint status ALWAYS WANT TO GO TO CHURCH as my Mother taught me for this is MY CHOICE!!!
You hear me make it your one thing Believe in going to church every sunday!!! Wherever you are Sinner and Saint! #gotochurch #sinnerandsaint #familyfirst #forgetyourselfandgotowork #rememberwhoyouare Also ONE MORE THING! look around you when you get there ask yourself "Who looks like they don't want to be there" and go say "HI!" #speakup #bekind #gotochurch

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

2014 "PROJECTS"

As One Might Say "2014 is going to be My Year" :)

I say "Projects" because it is a list of things I NEED to get done before... heaven forbid another move! or I die!!! Also, I want it to mean I am really doing something, accomplishing something, not just new year goals or resolutions. I WANT TO COMPLETE AND DO PROJECTs. My theme for the New Year ... Give myself Wholly to each and every "PROJECT"! 14 being the year I will list the top 14 Projects on my list and go from there!

My 2014 Scripture Link; Omni 1:25 and 26 - Doc and Cov 12:8 and then to 123:14-17. They play out like this in my mind and heart...

I am SUPER SIMPLE but I can offer myself wholly to the project, the calling, the family (not in that order prbly!), be humble, cheerful and then stand still and listen!

well thats my perspective of them and how I "Project" to see 2014 play out!!!!

of course with the theme from last year - Exert Yourself and be Considerate as my foundation!!!!

VHS to DVD Home Movie.
Quilts out of rags and tshirts (cleaning house of extras).
Remind myself how to and then make hook rag rugs - I remember Liking it when I was young (really I have this many rags and tshirts around the house) - I like to keep things!
POaST - Blog one year a month (need to catch up since the move) and then continue as I was already doing.
Learn daily

Budgeting ... money and healthy eating; apply to menu, habits and finances.
Educate ... genealogy, writing and religion. I could write a book!
Computer ...Learn how to use this blasted thing! Then Clean it up. For instance my photos are a mess they exist 1 -400 times each!!!! YIKES!
Spanish! I promised Marcela I'd try it again!!!

A journal Blog. . .Update Journals into blog and throw away journals no on wants them, I don't anyone to have to go thru them. Again -A BOOK??? Entitled - Purely fiction mawhahahahahaha!
A Wedding.
A Mission Blog.
Arrange 6 and 8 into hard copies.
Garage it's definitely better than before the move, but still needs work.