May 2017 MyHappinessProject Spirituality and Prayer

#itswhereilive

It is amazing to me how very much all of this is fitting together, how topics and "goals" set back in October can be right on and very on topic in the month that they pop up!  It is true that you have to think something before you can do it, for me anyway and when it is a thought it applies to everything around you from interactions with others to TV from Talks to articles in the news from relationships to your belief system all things have been affected or at least noticed by topic monthly during this project of mine.  This month the Main topic is Spirituality and the sub topic Prayer. 

I've been noticing on social media many quotes on FAITH in the last week and I had noted to myself in my Happiness Project Book under this May heading to revisit a talk given in 2016 by Elder Uchtdrof  this little story jumped out at me as I read it yesterday; 

Faith is a strong conviction about something we believe—a conviction so strong that it moves us to do things that we otherwise might not do. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”2

While this makes sense to believing people, it is often confusing to nonbelievers. They shake their heads and ask, “How can anyone be certain of what they cannot see?” To them, this is evidence of the irrationality of religion.

What they fail to understand is that there are more ways to see than with our eyes, more ways to feel than with our hands, more ways to hear than with our ears.

It’s something like the experience of a young girl who was walking with her grandmother. The song of the birds was glorious to the little girl, and she pointed out every sound to her grandmother.

“Do you hear that?” the little girl asked again and again. But her grandmother was hard of hearing and could not make out the sounds.

Finally, the grandmother knelt down and said, “I’m sorry, dear. Grandma doesn’t hear so well.”

Exasperated, the little girl took her grandmother’s face in her hands, looked intently into her eyes, and said, “Grandma, listen harder!”  

It jumped out at me for different reasons than you might think! When my mom was alive, in her later years we teased her that she had "selective hearing"!  My son got her a badge or a pin that said "Speak Up".  

This little story reminded me of that, and like I said everything comes back to this project these days. . . my thought then was to ask myself am I or can we be spiritually selective about our hearing?  

So this month I am going to strive to not put away spiritual things.  I tend to choose TV over books, Facebook over scriptures and definitely take the personal out of the conversation although I do support the whole text vs phone (there is that word again FEAR) why don't we write letters or send cards any more vs comment on IG Twitter or FB? There is something mindful, fulfilling and yes, spiritual about writing it down. Just today I ran across a note that my granddaughter slipped into my things that made me "feel something, personal even spiritual" it said; "Nana I love you and I'll miss you. Be careful, Remember who you are and keep your head up. bye  ..."  Brings me to tears again. How can we not be spiritual when it comes to loving, including and listening to our Family? 

spir·it·u·al

ˈspiriCH(o͞o)əl/

adjective

1. 1.

   relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.

   "I'm responsible for his spiritual welfare"

   synonyms:

   nonmaterial, incorporeal, intangible;

Of course spiritual can be applied also in religious beliefs as well. 

       2.

     relating to religion or religious belief.

"the tribe's spiritual leader"

synonyms:

religious, sacred, divine, holy, nonsecular, church, ecclesiastical, faith-based, devotional  I reference the following for that part of my quest for this month of May;

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/fourth-floor-last-door?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/let-the-holy-spirit-guide?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/stand-up-inside-and-be-all-in?lang=eng

I POaST about my life ... FRIENDS ... 1973 - 1975

 Friends are angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly...

Susan Draper
The summer before 10th grade Susan and I hung out at camp. She is a doll. 3 years older and 2 years ahead of me in school. She collected Frogs, kinda drove us all nuts!  She had the funniest giggle and full of life. We were together all the time that year - every where one went the other was sure to follow.  1976 we went to BYU together it was a blast.  We moved into a apartment complex as soon as we got there we found out it was girls only and we packed up and moved out just that fast!!! We went to Roman Gardens to live and so goes my college years.  But not hers, we hadn't been there a whole semester, I don't think and Lyle Harper showed up and enticed her back to Arizona they got married the next semester - March of 1977.  I was at BYU but Glenn drove me down and was able to stand with her as they took their vows! It was a great day.  I was and am so happy for both of them, both of them good friends of a life time.

Gaylun Smith and Danny Bang were best friends. I'm sure Hanging with Susan and Kristine had something to do with me also attempting to get to know these boys better!  I wrote him a note once told him "your in good hands" thinking he was going to like Susan and they (Danny and Susan and the like)  called him ALL STATE for awhile after that - I was so embarrassed!  Gaylun asked me to go to prom I was only 15, at first mom told me I could go and then she reconsidered and said I couldn't go.  When I told him at the last min he was pretty mad and that was the end of that!

Ricky Hamilton his grandmother ran the trailer park
 we all played together he was a fun kid.  We used to have rock bands together.  His grandma taught me how to write a check.  Mom would send me to pay the rent I didn't know how, Ruby Ratliff taught we.

Jackie Cook went school with us 9th and half of 10th grade
She was super fun and very nice,
She is Janes Cousin and we all got along very well.

I don't have a picture of Mark Carpenter but I had a talk with him that always and still sticks with me.  We talked about the gospel a few times.  We both "wanted" to be good, to go to church to "choose the right".  But doing that was a hard choice for both of us.  One day he said to me (from my journal I write); "It's like this Kel I'm young I'm in High School I am just going to choose to do what I want for now and be Jo Smith latter in life when it's time to go on a mission or something".  I myself KellySue I don't what to think of life like this, it seems willful and like you could get yourself into lots of trouble saying that right up front. At lest I don't want to be bad I just can't help myself. I need to just make better choices, make my mind up before the bad stuff happens. I'm going to try harder to keep myself out of trouble."

Jane Hatchcock went to church with me and school. I have mentioned her often.  I loved going to her house. Except the cats - she always had cats and new kittens!
She didn't get in my way and I didn't get in hers.
(I laugh at these journal entry comments describing my friends back then!)
We were very close and got along very well. On our senior trip to Disney Land we were together all the time, we had a blast!!!  I loved her ...especially in the 9th grade, her support and leadership skills were always an example to me, always.

Kristine Lewis she lived in my ward.  She and Susan were best friends, somehow I got to hang out with them upon entering High School.  I admired and wanted to be with that older group in my ward REAL bad. She worked at the Drive-Inn, we used to always go to see her - she was a great girl friend.  Her Dad, George Lewis worked with my mom! Her step mom was kinda - weird! Kristine got married Oct 24, 1975 I was happy to be one of her bridesmaids Susan was her maid of honor.

Bobby and I were always great friends. He and I were in the same ward for as long as I can remember.  He was always a good and honest friend to me. We went to grade school, Jr. High and High School together. He wasn't terribly active as far as church stuff goes though in our High School years he started coming to church. Which we all thought that was fantastic.  I don't know why, but we always understood each other.  We had some of the same kind of experiences in life that we shared with each other and we had some good talks about life.

Urlene next door neighbors for more than a life time.  We always told people we were sisters and when we were mad and denied it nobody believed us! We really were the best of friends. I always thought that something happened when she started dateing Ray and I started dating Terry that made her mad at me.  She went to Farmington and I moved away too.  When she met and married Mike I came home from California to be at her wedding, I can't say that I wasn't sad and disappointed to not stand up with her to be married, but I was really grateful to get off work and be there to see her get married.  She is beautiful people.

 

 the Saturday before Terry left we all went shooting out in the desert and of course Terry wore his only BLACK SHIRT!  When he left I went to the airport and saw him off I cried all the way home and "I layed in bed today and cried all day, Judyann and mom just shake their heads at me, but I'm hurting. What will I do without him here by my side?"  Little did I know or understand about attachment disorders or about being co-dependent.  I did really fall apart in my teenage world, it was the beginning of a long downward fall for me.

At church the next sunday I wrote in my journal "I just burst out into tears at church today the Sacrament hymn was "There is a GREEN hill FAR AWAY and I just started to fall apart."

OH MAN!  I had sent out a missionary and it was my intention to totally wait 2 years for him to come home to me.

 I became very close to Terry's family especially loved his sisters, I took Julie and Janeece took April and we went to the State Fair.  I also took Julie to school with me for a "home Ec class required I bring someone to cook for so today I took Julie I just love her so much she is a great kid she was so good today..."

From the MTC Terry wrote often

In 1974 I was called to be the Laurel class president. (I know you are wondering WHAT!?)  anyway... I wanted to do this right, I wanted to feel the spirit and make good choices.  I actually prayed about who to serve with me. One day at church I had been fasting to make a correct decision something just warm and lifting hit me all of a sudden to get up and move and lead me to Janeece. She was asked and accepted. She and I didn't know how to work with each other at first, but then quickly we became good friends and worked well together. We had some same issues with boys, she dated Lynn and I Ricky. In June when I went to Utah she went to California then we got back at the same time.  We had a great summer. We went to camp together and Lynn and Ricky came to camp and snuck us out (I had Kitchen duty the rest of the week!).    We went to Rocky Point and main street and did some crazy stuff.  We even had a couple of spiritual experiences together. Once when we went to Rocky Point, Sis took us to the Villa Granda and we danced and had a lot of fun ... they loved my skinny tan blonde friend!!!   First semester at college we took all the same classes except for Dance. We went to California a couple of times together with friends. When she got a job at Guggys that cut down our going out and stirring up trouble in town time. I worked in the day and now she worked at night. Her mother didn't like me, nor think I was good for her daughter. But any problems either of us had we had before we met and we only tried to help each other - I loved her as a friend and a sister.

Renee Natalie and Bev

 Renee is Terrys sister and I love her with all my heart. All of it, I do still to this day.  Back in the day We could have some REAL, and some serious, FUN, and good times and talks.  I tried to share my life experiences with her back then. She ended up being a better daughter to mom than me. Life is funny.

One year ago today...

So ... again, I'm not being consistant.... I'm going to write it off to I got sick!!!???!?!  Lame I know, but can I have a sick day or two???!!!  I was talking to Apryl and her family on Sunday and I just got so sick all of sudden I think my blood pressure just dropped and I lost it!

anyway enough of that ...

One year ago today I was with Mom combing her hair and telling her stories.  I worked everyday in the month of March to scan her pictures and organize her papers writing a history for her to leave for her grand and greatgrandkids.  I just had a feeling that it had to get done, I felt that urgency of the spirit. A time in my life to be recorded that I know what it felt like to feel the prompting of the Holy Ghost to go and do.  I'm grateful I did.

As God as MY Witness!!!

So today in the Daily's I am reminded of the day I took Apryl and Austin to a Day Care place for day two!  They'd only been to this lady once, and day two was not going to happen if they could help it.  I was on my way to work it was Tempe Arizona...100 degrees and Austin was crying his eyes out.  He begged me, without the tears to not take him back to this place of childcare.  HE talked to me as a grown-up at the age of 3, then he had Apryl turn on the tears!  Then he cried in a way that I just knew that he was not just being a spoiled kid not wanting to go to nursery.   On the way over to day care my Gremlin broke down and there we were HOT, Broken, and hungry and I swear I literally raised my arm (just like Scarlett) to the sky and yelled "As God as my witness I'll never be poor and hungry and take my kids to day care again!!!!" - [my version of that Gone with the Wind quote!]

Well I didn't take my kids to that lady ever again but it was the day we sat down and set the goal for me to be home and not have to go to work outside the home any more.  That woman yelled at me that day telling me I had to leave them, she was counting on that income. Really?!  I just grabbed them and we ran...walking down the streets of Tempe Arizona!

It was a day that, (even with me not really doing things I should have been doing) I knew the spirit spoke to me for the sake of my children and said WAKE UP girl your babies need you - that is a bad place for day care and you need to get your act together.  Listen to the spirit.  I can indeed witness that there is a reason we have been counseled to LISTEN. 

"Spirituality is learning how to listen to the Spirit and then letting it govern our lives."-Carol B Thomas
Nothing is more important than to parent with real intent our babies. (to me anyway!)