Music was! Music is. Music Will be????

Music Can Control You!

When My Sister Died the music in my life faded, when my brother Tom died the music in my life died right along with him.  I did not listen to any music for 1 or maybe 2 years!  The crisis of 2012 had the total opposite reaction!  I not only listened to but bought tons of tunes! So my question is; in our numbness what is it that we need or search for about the music in our lives?   Today out on a drive I had the thought I need to find new tunes! I need to find music with no association!  Music that doesn't speak memories, but that might start fresh memories.  I need a spark!

Music gets in your head it can control your thoughts without your awareness.  WOW! I hated it when I used to hear that.  Why we don't listen to people that are wiser and in "the know" I'll never understand!!!
I'm not sure where to go with the thought I had this morning - what music is there left to listen to that won't have association and if so what association can bring back a spark?
I, being raised totally on Old School "Western" and rebelling with Hard Rock and loving the music of my older kids in the 90's and bonding with the music of my younger kids in this new century!
I found this on a web site linked below -

Here are the results of his findings, as recorded on the Heriot-Watt University webpage:

• Indie fans have low self-esteem and are not very hard-working, but are creative.
• Heavy metal fans are very creative and at ease with themselves, but not very outgoing or hard-working.
• Rap fans have high self-esteem and are outgoing.
• Dance fans are creative and outgoing, but not very kind or generous.
• Country and western fans are very hardworking and outgoing.
• Reggae fans have high self-esteem and are creative, outgoing, kind, generous and at ease with themselves, but are not very hardworking.
• Classical music lovers have high self-esteem and are creative and at ease with themselves, but are not outgoing.
• Blues fans have high self-esteem and are creative, outgoing and at ease with themselves.
• Rock 'n' roll fans have high self-esteem and very creative, hardworking and at ease with themselves, but are not very kind or generous.
  http://www.wealthwire.com/news/liberty/3798

Anything sound familiar?  WOW!
So I begin my search.  Wish me luck!   Ok nothing on the charts - top 11 itunes will work!  Some of it goes right into the before mentioned categories some is just not me, never was never will be!!!  Searching has lead me to ...  Bauer, Neon Trees and The Killers (Indie on the list above)... but, well I'm in my 50's!???  Maybe I'll go back to Ray Price! or learn to love R and B (not even on the list above)???  buscar mañana




Ok this morning I heard it!  I'm sticking with country - minus the relationships! IDK is that possible?!!!  
I love the old FAITH, WYNONNA, REBA, GARTH, GEORGE, SHANIA, TOBY and ALAN!  Yep, I was Happy in Roswell!!!!!

Restraint

"There are limits to self indulgence, but none to self restraint." Gandhi

Restraint does not just exist, or not exist for Sex, Drugs and Rock'nRoll.  What? 
When you don't know what to do with yourself - what do you do?  
When you don't know what to say or how to respond  - what do you say?

Believe it or not - I reserve a lot of my opinion and don't ALWAYS say or write everything I'm doing, saying or thinking.  I write because I think maybe I've learned something to help someone else, not because I am scholarly or an English Writing Major, but because I love people - even though I do or don't always use restraint in saying how stupid we, as a people  'can be'!  So todays thought is what my Daddy would have always told me - "Silence is Golden - in other words Shut Up and Get Rich"!  although he also used to tell me "how ugly I was when I cried" and that I "was worth my weight in Salt, which ain't much". I guess he might not have been the perfect example of Restraint!   
 Oh Dad, I miss you even after all these years.

"The path of peace is not a passive journey. It takes incredible strength not to open a can of 'whoop-ass', justifiably, when ones button is pushed."  -Hodge

I'll use Restraint and end on this note:

I like it for lots of reasons but today because it goes along with my theme for the year = Exert yourself, be considerate!

"When Restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible."   Gandhi

Hope, Peace Stewardship

WHERE DOES ONE TURN FOR HOPE & PEACE IN STEWARDSHIP

“Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord's spirit children and then rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments.

...Motherhood is a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord's work, a consecration and devotion to the rearing and fostering, the nurturing of body, mind, and spirit of those who kept their first estate and who came to this earth for their second estate to learn and be tested.” Spencer W. Kimball

In the weeee hours of the morning I had the remembrance of the annoyance I used to feel when my mother would get on her sad, martyred beat herself up soap box!  Cryin in her beer so to say about what a failure she was.  I had no empathy with or for her.

She would carry the burdens of the world on her shoulders and I thought for no reason at all.  She could not save the world, everybody in it or even her kids.  "Whatever mom" I would say to her, "they are all grown people, they decide they made the choice to live how they are ... not you - you can't do anything about that".

Well I tend to do the same thing now, so I guess I'm at least having empathy with her.  I worry about so many things that I can't control but like her mostly that I am a failure because of other peoples actions.  Which leads me to my AH HA Moment at the Weeeee hour of the Morning, I heard myself saying to her, "they are grown up people, they decide they make the coice to live how they are living".

All I can say is I did what I could when I could. I try not to be a hypocrite and I strive to teach of Christ and His teachings.  Now I pray.  For to think about it too long throws a person into deep despair - right where darkness grows darker and if dwelt upon I see more names than I can bare the burden of.  I want to have Hope and peace and not make myself crazy for “To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling... She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home--which is society's basic and most noble institution.” ― Spencer W. Kimball

SHORT AND SWEET just a little AH HA moment!

 http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/02/a-word-for-the-hesitant-missionary?lang=eng&query
http://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/02/balancing-truth-and-tolerance?lang=eng&query
http://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/02/balancing-truth-and-tolerance?lang=eng&query

I felt Trapped, Urgency and Frustrated

Last night a new dream!

Creepy.  

Big Stadium, didn't see the field, just the lights and the cement - Lots and lots of people.  Bathroom scenes, public bathroom, lots of stainless steel stalls and lots of people - not describing the people or anything they were doing here!
I needed to get out of there.  

I Found a way out early so trying to get a bus or an airplane and couldn't get the places on my phone.  My phone looked like a banana too by the way!  (Whats that about?) I remember calling and listening - then nothing .


I took a train to find a plane I felt like my son was the closest to me Geographically and I could get to him the fastest so I was attempting to get to transportation.  On the move I saw lots of different kinds of people Beautiful people and run down shoeless worn coat people.  I kept trying to use my phone I couldn't get the internet to give me directions!  (my phone broke yesterday suppose I've flipped out because of that - if so, LAME!!?)

I was in a big city Trying to get to my son I just, well I needed to get to him.  I had this new phone and couldn't figure out how to get it to work.  I was calling Amric to help me figure out how to do it I called him and it was Matthew on the other end.  He was talking to me and then Olaf walked up behind me!?!?!!?  I turned to follow him and we went into a large Bus station and I lost him. Then I didn't know what bus to get on and I stood there watching as they all drove away, I missed them all.

I was alone, I never got on a bus I walked away. 
I woke up so sad.


Interpretation:
Stadium 
To see or dream that you are in a stadium represents your determination to succeed and achieve your goals. You need to be more active, aggressive, and bold.

Bathroom 
To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.

To dream that you are in a public restroom with no stalls or that there are a lot of people around while you are trying to do your business signifies your frustrations about getting enough privacy. You are always putting others ahead of your own needs. As a result, you are lacking a sense of personal space. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are having difficulties letting go of old emotions. You are afraid that if you reveal these feelings, then others around you will judge and criticize you.

Telephone 
To see or hear a telephone in your dream signifies a message from your subconscious or some sort of telepathic communication. You may be forced to confront issues which you have been avoiding. Alternatively, the telephone represents your communication and relationship with others. If there is no dial tone or the phone is left off the hook, then the dream indicates that you are shutting yourself out. You are experiencing difficulties in getting your thoughts and feelings across...the dream signifies lack of understanding. Perhaps you are having difficulties getting through to someone.

Bananas 
To see bananas in your dream, may be a metaphor for repressed sexual urges and desires. 

Train 
To see a train in your dream represents conformity. You are just going along with what everyone else is doing...a train means that you are very methodical. You need to lay things out specifically and do things in an orderly and sequential manner.

Bus 
To dream that you are waiting for a bus indicates a temporary setback in achieving your personal goals. If you miss the bus, then it indicates that an aspect of your life is out of control. You need to slow down and map out a new plan

Happy Birthday Sean

Sean and Apryl meet The Alien!

Apryl will you Marry Me?

We first met Sean Larkin in Roswell New Mexico!

The family and friends of
The Bride and Groom Las Vegas

Magic Mountain 2 months married!

In Washington they Fish!   DRIVE Ayris!

Sean goes platinum while 
Family and Friends gather to send
Austin off on his mission to Bilboa Spain 2003

The Family gives Thanks! 2011

A Family reunion of sorts 2012

I love to see the Temple -
they'll go inside someday!

Sean wears Amric and Hugs Apryl

We love our Sean.  He takes good care of our Apryl and His babies. So grateful that he loves us too.

Sean is Royalty

They Travel, Her life long dream!

Some say that opposites attract. I say that even in their differences the are perfect together.  Everyday I thank God that they found each other and had the good sense to hang on.  They are indeed having quite a ride.  Adventure is out there for all of us, these two embrace it, fly over it, crawl under it dive into it and then crawl under the sheets and enjoy it! (that ones for you seaneee!)  We love you!!!

FAMILY

The Families retreat - Washington 2007

 Always doing with the kids; teaching, supporting, loving.

Gage  

Pax
A great example a worthy priesthood holder An Accountant!

Now what do we do?

DO IT!

Utah

Grenta

They DO IT all TOGETHER!

Sean loves his Father-in-law!!!

Father and Son...

Proud Father

Their new way of life!

So excited for snow in Washington

Please Eat!  I don't know how to do this!!!

picture perfect!

This is how we row!

This is how we dress

This is how we relax!

these are the next generation LARKIN!

Thanks for the memeories!!  We love you son, our Sean too,   Remember Who you are and who you belong to!  Have a great day, don't do anything I wouldn't do! Oh wait!!! You will!!  Love, The Mom!

Paradoxical or Paradisiacal

Feel free to play and listen while you read

"...As soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power you can't have it. The minute you don't want power you'll have more than you ever dreamed." -Dass 

The One Thing I learned is that life's choices can be paradoxical.  From the beginning we have had to learn how to follow the spirit of light and truth.  

In the beginning a plan was presented it gave us the choice of 

• A. follow Christ "the light", where we as individuals are given the choice to choose wether to follow Him or

• B. follow Satan's plan which to me is communistic no choice is given you do what he says or else.

In the scriptures we read about people who make hard choices

• In genesis we are told that Adam and Eve were put in the garden of eden and told to 1. Not to eat of the Tree of Good and Evil and 2. To multiply and replenish the earth.  It's a Paradox, until they eat the fruit they don't understand that they are naked, the difference between Joy and sorrow. 

David and Goliath

• In the Bible the people are told to not marry other faiths because the "other faiths" worship idols and false prophets.  Baal tends to be the down fall of several societys.

• David killed the Giant because he had so much Faith in God.  He led armies in righteousness but in a moment of weakness he lusted on a woman and that lust turned to such an addiction that he committed murder to have her. A kill that was not in righteousness.  But to this day the Jewish people wait fot the "Messiah, son of David" and don't like it when you down play him (David) as a man.

• In the Book of Mormon Nephi living the 10 Commandments is taught "thou shalt not kill", yet Nephi was told to go and get the plates from Laban and then the only way to get them was to Kill Laban.

• In Alma we meet Korihor was such a good teacher he was smart and he learned how to gain recognition. He kept digging to find what was wrong with it and the he teaches the people that Christ is not real and that there is no Atonement.  People follow him in droves.  Then when he is struck dumb thru him people see the "light" and repent and come to Christ.

Koihor arrested

• Laman and Lemuel saw angels.  Corianton went to a different city to sin and because of this the Zoramites didn't believe Alma.  Ok so there are lots of example of Men "failing" in the scriptures - given for us to learn from but do we....

King David

• In our dispensation we have the Jim jones, the Marshall Applewhites, the Warren Jeffs and that guy who took people to Idaho I can't remember his name!  People choose to follow darkness, what makes it more awful is when the leader has been taught of Light and then chooses darkness and takes generations to the darkness with them.  Again I believe Light is always there it's in our soul but darkness is there too (the natural man), but like vampires You have to choose to invite it in.

Study often - recognize the patterns of Good and evil, Light and darkness

I believe that times do change, societies evolve, but the core Doctrine doesn't change and we must be able to recognize good from evil.  

1. When missionaries first went out (1800's) they taught the first vision, the Book of Mormon, they testified of what they saw and heard and of Joseph Smith.  
2. When I was young, really young!!! (1960's) the missionaries went out with notebooks of discussions and pictures to teach with.  They were taught to memorize the Doctrine and teach is exactly like it is in the notebook.  
3. In the last few years, even the last 10 years we have been teaching "teach by the spirit" (not to memorize it), with that came the introduction of a new way to study = Preach My Gospel we are all encouraged to study it out in your mind, and heart and know the scriptures know and understand what YOU individually believe is truth then pray listen for the Holy Ghost and get that light and confirmation individually become familiar with the pattern.

paddle with desire to move forward

Teach and testify with the spirit, yes sometimes it's a paradox that is where Faith comes in and Faith is developed from study and experience

There is a reason for dog-paddling, if we aren't moving we will sink it's a given.  If we don't strive to exert ourselves everyday and move forward, well it's obvious right?  Sink or Swim maybe even just dog-paddle but do it everyday as we do we evolve we become swimmers.  I think the missionaries always did do this (teach - ask and confirm see Moroni chapter 10) http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/10?lang=eng all along parallel with 1 and 2 mentioned previously the difference being a person without a real foundation, a testimony of "one" or more principles of the doctrine can memorize and teach but at least not as easily be lead to speak and teach by direction of the Holy Ghost, the light within. 

Moving forward with armor of light!

The time is coming (and it does in all of our lives) that we have our own paradox sometime. That crisis of choice.   Then there and then we will need to be familiar with the light, the pattern, be able to discern make a choice know how to recognize - is the light teaching me or is the darkness teaching me?  Is the prophet speaking truth? If I follow this direction - Where will it lead? Think it through... ask is this choice one that will take me and all those that follow me toward the good, the light, just Where will it take me?  Then as did Eve, Nephi, Paul, Alma the younger, and so many others did Go and Do.  My conclusion; the Plan of Salvation is really a plan of Joy & Sorrow choosing Good & Evil and it seems to be more of a Paradoxical Glory!!!! (get it vs Paradisiacal  never-mind.

Again, I know I use to many words to explain my thoughts - I'll work on that.  If you are hanging in there with me thanks, feedback is always welcome.
Please, take some time and read one or all of the following they do say it better and with LIGHT!

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1390

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/how-to-obtain-revelation-and-inspiration-for-your-personal-life?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/we-bear-witness-of-him?lang=eng

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/02/stand-by-my-servant-joseph?lang=eng