Part 2 learning from Ayris and her college interviews!!!
It is said that My Father hit my older siblings. I am the baby so it is said that he had mellowed by the time I got there. Stories are told of him hitting with anything laying around, belts, belt buckles, sticks, long wild grass, bailing wire and bobbed wire in one case!A few times My Mother spanked, shook, grounded, glared, but more often she guilted! Then there is when she threatened with "when father gets home" but mostly she taught - lots of [at the time I thought lectures] words and many many prayers for the sake of children.
The reality of it is;
Ok so as I ponder this topic I can't and I have search my brain for times I remember being disciplined by my father. My siblings told horror stories of being hit as they grew up but I only remember being scared of him. We moved to Arizona when I was 4 I have no memories of daddy disciplining me there at that home front! I have good memories spending time with him herding sheep, walking on the canal and with the dogs and horses - no hitting or even seeing anyone be hit! Weird I never thought about it like that before til right now. After we moved to Arizona it was the threat of daddy coming home and hitting me that kept me inline!! I can remember hiding in a tree scared he was going to hit me for my grades suffering in school. I had a fear of my father that I always referred to as respect.
Mom on the other hand! I have no memories of in Colorado nothing I cannot find her there in my mind. Maybe once hiding from her in the asparagus plants in a ditch in front of the house??? After we moved to Arizona she was the "hands on" parent (let me insert right here i got nothing from her that I didn't deserve!) she grounded me from the phone, from going places, she left a chore list of things for me to do everyday when she left for work, I was a "latch key" child no friends allowed over while she was at work. I had one older brother still in high school who was around in the mornings before school and then I was on my own, mom came home for lunch for an hour everyday and I was to have lunch ready. We watched "As the world turns" or "Guiding Light" depending on which hour she came home - we ate on TV trays and visited while eating our lunch. I got graded on my chores and given more. I believe (now) this was not only to discipline me but to teach me to work, keep me out of trouble and to help her keep up with the house work!!!And thus we see- I only do chores when nobody is home. When people are here I like to do things with them! and I believe I know how to work and taught my children to know how to work! one can only hope!!!
Examples of her discipline:
Once I stole a watch at the dime store downtown (yes I am old enough to refer to a store as a "dime store") I might have been 8 maybe younger, mom was so mad at me I remember her scolding me on the side walk in front of the store. It was a little kid watch in the toy section, I had taken it out of the package left the package there and stuck it in my pants, it fell down thru the leg and out on the sidewalk as we left the store! What I really remember is her teaching me was that it was not honest and making me walk back in there give the lady the watch and say I was sorry - horribly embarrassed even at a young age.
And thus we see; Honesty is the best policy. Discipline taught in action is remembered, let the action be calm, controlled and let the child be involved and not stuck in a corner or beaten.
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| It looked like this only WHITE! |
When I got home my mom had already heard I wasn't at the church. She grabbed me out of that car and started spanking me and grabbed my two arms pulling them by the elbows behind me as she kicked my butt with her knees walking me into the house. She was out of control and embarrassed me so much, I didn't learn anything from that except for how uncool my mom was!
And thus we see: well you get it. Stay incontrol. Don't lie to your parents.
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