Communication 101

"They" say you learn from your kids!  Well one of mine is writing papers for college that force her to ask questions that make me think  today I enter some of my answers to her...

My father wasnt home much. while my parents were not divorced they lived separately daddy's business (1 on McDowell and 24th st. in Phoenix, 2 on Hardy and Priest and 3 on 1st st in Tempe) was a horse riding stable where he rented out horses for hourly rates ... I did not know we were dysfunctional! I was told he had to protect the investment and so he stayed with the tack, feed and horses. He came home on sat. and Sunday nights to eat, get clean clothes and watch Archie bunker with me! Sometimes during the week he would come home and sometimes I would go stay there on Saturdays especially if mom had to work - anyway up until I was in jr high and had things to go do on Saturdays. His communication was direct stern or sarcastic this is where I learned what I thought was humor!!! His communication was - cussing and yelling, I did fear that more than being whipped from my daddy. It made me feel little, stupid = awful.
and thus we see: physical abuse beats/hurts your body, derogatory language, verbal abuse beats/hurts the soul i think its worse cuz your brain is involved and it tells your brain you are unworthy.

Daddy would create conversation with me around mom about things that bugged her and we would laugh together, she never cracking a smile and not thinking anything said was funny, which made us laugh together even more leaving Mom out!
And thus we see: Sarcasim hurtful and a type and shadow of being a bully. (In writing that down I can realize that that is what Amric and I do to Richard! Guess I better work to change that)

My mom and I had long talks and were best friends. We could talk (when we weren't in a teenage parent argument) about anything. Mom and dad liked to go for drives. When daddy went I was not allowed to talk. But when it was mom and I we would go on forever talking about any and everything.  I do remember though at age 12/13 really bugging her cuz I talked too much.  Urlene and I would get in the car and go on and on about our lives giggling uncontrollably!
And thus we see: moms are great and unselfish letting kids talk about only themselves on and on until all you do is giggle and thats annoying!

Our communication to get me out of bed in the mornings for school from the day I started school was to call me. The phone was all the way across the house and would ring loudly scarying me into awake mode and then I would run across the house to answer the phone to hear mom say "up and at 'em it's time for school"!       Really I knew that! I did not like it too much at all and grew to hate everything about the phone except for if boys called of course!! And note hear I was never ever allowed to call them!  (a lesson I tried to teach my girls but has now been lost because everyone has a phone in there hands!)
and thus we see: face to face communication is the best! and being woke up in the morning by someone in the house is the best and communication is a gift, a talent and is being lost in translation in a high tech world.