Oh I wish that I knew how to listen and get inspired by God better, faster, easier. The issue is this... I can't remember making any decision as a teenager without wondering what boy would be there! I think I have taken that to my mothering too! I may have influenced a daughter to go to Weber thinking a certain missionary would be there. I may have been swaying Amric to be nice to a certain young lady, because she is just that - a nice young lady. I'm pretty sure Austin didn't listen to anything I ever said about the girls in his life and that he pretty much lied to them so they would hate me and never want to hang out at the house (so maybe he was the smartest of the bunch to see inside my manipulative soul)!!! Then the weirdest situation now I have the two kids that are my own How do I look out for them, they have the weirdest relationship in the whole wide world. How do I help them? So in 1991 I was reading in my journal that life influences are choices. Duh!!! My Mom isn't always with us, she keeps going to Judyanns and to Uncle Otis' why can't she just stay here with us!!!??? How's that for selfish!!! Still I am making decisions for a boy! I'm in it now though, for me it's an eternity thing...thus I need to make this work, hopefully we will and can learn to make decisions together. My hubby was even sad about Mom leaving, but I think he might just want a babysitter! We shouldn't just want grandmas' for babysitters!!! Grandmas' are people too, no matter how old we get we are still 17 inside!!!! It looks like in Feb 1996 Nanny went back to Mexico and Gramma moved in! 22 days later Gramma was gone! I guess she didn't really like it here! Well I keep striving to bring this back around to my opening statement!!! Looks to me like other people make decisions for themselves...Maybe I'll start trying that!!! Today I wrote to elder georg that life is a roller coaster!!
Feb 25 1996 Today is weird. I feel like I am on a roller coaster with big dips! One second I am Happy and hopeful and the next I think everybody hates me and there is no hope!
there isn't a clean room in the house.
Delia, is such a great help around the house!
Tomorrow we start a family color chart...Orangehubby, Yellowme, BlueApryl, GreenAustin, PinkAyris, PurpleDelia, BrownAytyom, RedAmric, NannyRose. This applies to chores, plates, rewards, they will know!
Gramma called. only asked for hubby said nothing.
I Miss mom.
Really life is a Roller Coaster and just keeps on spinning up and down Over and Out!!! Life lessons to learn over and over again!!!! HELP!!! Inspiration - Please arrive!!!!
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