I "POaST" about my life --- 1961 ...

My Dad went on vacation, his first vacation since 1948, he spent two weeks in Phoenix Arizona.  He always hurt because of the cold, so he was also looking for a new warmer place to live.

I had the mumps.  I don't remember much about my home in Colorado, but I remember sheep in the pasture and tending them with my brothers.  I remember the siblings driving fast and crazy down the dirt roads and letting me sit in the back with no safety in place - me being scared to death!  


I remember the dogs.  The chickens. The rabbits.

I remember in the front yard asparagus growing in the ditch and the huge tree that I used to climb in.  

I remember the shoot where we loaded horses and cows into the trailers, along with the scariest dog in the world that was always tied to it because if she wasn't she was eating the chickens or my dolls!  

She was "Relish" a "bird dog" and she belonged to Tom.  Gobby was the family dog she was a "sheep dog" and I believe she was mine! I do remember feeling a companionship with her.  When we move to Arizona Daddy kicks her out of the car leaving her behind to run free.  He said "Someone else will take care of her Obe."  I remember staring out the back window and crying watching her run towards the car and becoming smaller and smaller as we drove away. 






And thanksgiving was spent at my wonderful Grandparents; Gladys and Albert Lyman home in Blanding Utah!

The truck

In remembrance

 of the World in 1961

The Vet

My favorite and where I got my nickname!

The Man Enters Space!

Kennedy Man of the Year

Judyann went to stay with Aunt El and Uncle Blackie in Salt Lake.  Aunt El is sick her gamma globulin is 6 and the doctors tell her she can't live if it is even 4!!  Sis writes about going to Mutual and being in the Dance Festival.  She seems worried about money and is borrowing clothes from friends and "found a swimming suit for $7.00" but she had "no $7.00."  She reports she misses Timmy and wishes she could wish him a happy birthday.  She is doing all of the dishes and cleaning the house!  She hiked Timp and had no sweater so someone loaned her one.  Sad to not go fishing with Aunt El and Uncle Blackie!  She says things about her friend Connie like "she is so sweet and cute", I must say ... this doesn't sound like my sister at all, (no money and talking talking all kind)!!!  She also visited Aunt Enone and stayed with her a few days.  Aunt El insists she needs glasses and is going to take her for an eye exam!

Aunt Els truck and dog - and Kelly Sue!

I'm lookin a little shy there!

Yay It bugs me and I do Have an ax to grind but maybe...

I just want to bury the ax to too 2.....

So this dream contained lots of bugs and axes in the ground atop the openings to the bugs life below ground.!  Trains for travel and Fighting for land. Trees and big huge revienes.  I had this dream in Utah so I didn't (couldn't) blog about it.  But it was documented in my journal and keeps re-appearing so need to post it here so I don't forget and so I can get it out of my head!

To see a BUG in your dream suggests that you are worried about something. It is symbolic of your anxieties and/or fears. What is literally bugging you? Consider also the popular phrase "bitten by the bug" to imply your strong emotional ties or involvement to some activity/interest/hobby/person.

To see an AXE in your dream - is symbolic of destruction, hostility, and the frustrations that you are experiencing. Perhaps you "have an ax to grind" with someone. Or the dream can be a metaphor that you are ready to "bury the ax" and make amends.

the Axes were positioned as they are pictured above ONLY
 placed into the opening of the BUGS homes as seen here.

if you see a freight train, then it refers to the burdens and problems that you are hauling around. It is also symbolic of manual labor.

The freight train couldn't get up out of the huge revienes.  I hoped out of the train and landed in a giant beautiful green tree from there... when I could finally see ahead, the ground was covered as far as the eye could see with axes.

To see lush green tree in your dream symbolize new hopes, growth, desires, knowledge, and life. It also implies strength, protection and stability. 

So much emptiness

How can the house be full of people and the event be kind and special and cozy and wonderful and still I can feel so empty and all alone?

Time changes so quickly, one second life is well.... and then BAM -it's not!  

Without prayers continuly life is much harder. Expectations and heartache are much more deeply felt.

I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't.   

I can give and give and give
Say I'm sorry over and over and over
But when is it enough
When is it really over so the cut doesn't keep cutting deeper and deeper

How can I just forgive myself and not care what or how anybody else feels? How?

The Best way out is always thru