Tim and his Poetry

I'm laying here in bed

Wondering what's in my head

Wondering if its very dull

just laying inside of a skull

Forever being a brain

always staying out of the rain

calling this my home

surrounded by fragile bone

It's nice to have no fear

because I can't hear

Just to be

because I can't see

But I would like to feel the rain

to see a train

to hear a song

just to belong

I would like to be outside

not to have to hide

wanting to, but unable to run

but wait, here is help, here's a gun

Sitting here on my ceramic throne
there is something that I hear
almost silently there is a drone 
yes, It's the air conditioner!
In the summer and the heat
the air conditioner is so cool
but now sitting on my seat
It's winter and I feel a fool!

I 



It's very hard to sleep

When all you want to do is weep

To weep for my wife

the spice in my life

crying out for sun

when day is done

for the moon at night

when I'm filled with fright

I set with my head in my hand

dreaming of roaming the land

seeing what the wind brings

hearing how it sings

curled in a ball

asleep not at all

yes it's hard to sleep

when all you can do is weep :(

They say life is brief

All filled with grief

that is not my belief

To laugh cry or shout

To stand or jump about

To Give Grief The Rout

To let unhappiness fly

to see the blue of the sky

to let cheer and joy rise high

For love to receive

for lost time to grieve

in these I believe

They have stolen time
times that was mine
the cause was not right
not in my sight

Seven long years
years with many tears
tears shed alone
in prison my home

Rampant runs the hate
caring not for my fate
to steal their time -
is revenge a crime?







There is a softness as I listen
the ground seems to listen
as I look out the window at night
cowering behind the Glass with fright

the moon is dull and has a halo
Nothing is seen to make me mello
I can hear the wind blowing
With a sigh I realize it's only snowing!







Have a shaft or be flat
I can be long or thin
folded or switched to win
I can be curved or straight
used with Love or Hate
I can take or give life
I am a knife

Tim McCoy 1985

I am grateful for "D" - Douglas, Arizona

I am grateful for Dreams, dogs, and 

Douglas, Arizona!!!! 

When we were first married we drove to Douglas to look at acres and acres of property for we wanted to buy 100 acres for 40k and plant Pecan Trees!

Can you imagine?!  

Our little family of 3 driving thru Bisbee and on to the Dirt to actually Dream of being Pecan grove farmers!!! Like we knew anything about that or had the money or ability to do so!!  

But it makes me smile the memory of Apryl in her car seat and her pink blanket, us in our little white Starfire out Driving looking for who we are, not afraid to Dream and asking ourselves - "how we are going to Dig in and plant roots?"!!!  






Holy Smokes are the Young Naive! Anyway we were.  
And thank goodness right? 

Or who would ever attempt to get married, start a family and Drive, Dig, or Dream into anything you know nothing about or anywhere you don't know anyone (well I guess we would! we have continued to do so) but not in Douglas Arizona!!!!

Thanks for the Memory! But it must have been a precursor to Richards need to be out and his love of learning about Ag!!!

I am grateful for "C" - CHEESE

CHEESEPROVALONECHEESECHEDDAR CHEESESHARPCHEESEMOZERELLACHEESESWISSCHEESE

I am grateful for CHEESE.  My husband thinks that butter is a main stay and should be spread across everything he eats!  My Dad use to let his brownie dry up and get old and smother frosting think layer of butter all over them to drink with black than black HOT coffee, so I get people and there butter, but I already used my B grateful on the Book of Mormon so now it's C.

Thus I must go with Cheese.  I am grateful and have the opinion from my perspective that Cheese instead of butter should be scattered or melted or layered upon any and everything that a person eats!!!  Thus the 80 pounds overweight edition of ME!

Mother and I loved to eat Cheese Crisp morning noon and night for our meals!  Who doesn't love a toasted cheese sandwich with Tomato soup? Pumpkin Pie Cheese cake?!?!?!?!?!?!   Spagetti needs needs. MACARONI AND CHEESE! Nacho cheese, cream cheese, squeaky cheese I'm lovin' the squeaky cheese!

I LOVE CHEESE!

I am grateful for "B" - Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon testifies of Jesus Christ and teaches us how to become His disciples. The Prophet Joseph Smith (1805–44) affirmed that “a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book” (History of the Church, 4:461; Book of Mormon introduction). As you study the Book of Mormon and are prayerful, the Holy Ghost continually bears witness to your heart and mind of the Savior’s divine role as the Redeemer of mankind.

Keystone

Title Page

• •
  The Book of Mormon title page begins: “The Book of Mormon, an account written by the hand of Mormon upon plates taken from the plates of Nephi.” This is followed by two paragraphs, likely authored by the Book of Mormon prophet Moroni, son of Mormon. The ProphetJoseph Smith explained that “the title-page of the Book of Mormon is a literal translation, taken from the very last leaf, on the left hand side of the collection or book of plates, which contained the record which has been translated, the language of the whole running the same as all Hebrew writing in general [that is, from right to left]; and that said title page is not by any means a modern composition, either of mine or of any other man who has lived or does live in this generation” 
• How the Book of Mormon Is the Keystone
• •The Prophet Joseph Smith identified the Book of Mormon as the “keystone of our religion” (History of the Church, 4:461; Book of Mormon introduction). President Ezra Taft Benson explained the role of a keystone as follows:
• “A keystone is the central stone in an arch. It holds all the other stones in place, and if removed, the arch crumbles.
• “There are three ways in which the Book of Mormon is the keystone of our religion. 1.It is the keystone in our witness of Christ. 2.It is the keystone of our doctrine.  3.It is the keystone of testimony” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 4; or Ensign, Nov. 1986, 5).
• •President James E. Faust (1920–2007) of the First Presidency expanded the idea of the Book of Mormon as our doctrinal keystone:
• “The Book of Mormon is a keystone because it establishes and ties together eternal principles and precepts, rounding out basic doctrines of salvation. It is the crowning gem in the diadem of our holy scriptures"
• I Have a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I know that it teaches doctrine and principles to knowing Jesus Christ better, the importance of family and enduring to the end.
• ksmsthemom

I am grateful for "A" -- Adoption

Preface

I've been noticing a trend on my Facebook feed - people saying something they are grateful for everyday of the month in November (I'm in-visioning until Thanksgiving!), so since I'm a little late on that train my inspiration this morning is to share something for every letter of the alphabet that I am thankful for until Thanksgiving (which is in 9 nine days so 3 or 4 a day - I don't know I don't do math!!!) so here we go.  My goal in doing this is to know myself better and to think outside the box (wish me luck!) ;)

ransitive verb

1

: to take by choice into a relationship; especially : to take voluntarily (a child of other parents) as one's own child

2

: to take up and practice or use <adopted a moderate tone>

3

: to accept formally and put into effect <adopt a constitutional amendment>

4

: to choose (a textbook) for required study in a course

5

: to sponsor the care and maintenance of <adopt a highway>

intransitive verb

: to adopt a child adopt

>

— adopt·abil·i·ty noun

— adopt·able adjective

— adopt·er noun

I am thankful for ADOPTION, first to be adopted into the family of the House of Israel.  Second to be able to have in my lifetime see miracles thru the acts of adoption.  There is of course the story of JUNO and the story of Moses.  There is those stories of Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, The little Princess, Oliver Twist and one of my favs Matilda!  

“Was it the act of giving birth that made you a mother? Did you lose that label when you relinquished your child? If people were measured by their deeds, on the one hand, I had a woman who had chosen to give me up; on the other, I had a woman who'd sat up with me at night when I was sick as a child, who'd cried with me over boyfriends, who'd clapped fiercely at my law school graduation. Which acts made you more of a mother?

Both, I realized. Being a parent wasn't just about bearing a child. It was about bearing witness to its life.” 
― Jodi Picoult, Handle With Car

I have seen examples of this working and examples of it not, but the stats lay out like this as I see it...

1 Kings 3:16-28

16 ¶Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the king, and stood before him.

 17 And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house.

 18 And it came to pass the third day after that I was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we were together; there was no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house.

 19 And this woman’s child died in the night; because she overlaid it.

 20 And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom.

 21 And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear.

 22 And the other woman said, Nay; but the living is my son, and the dead is thy son. And this said, No; but the dead is thy son, and the living is my son. Thus they spake before the king.

 23 Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son isthe dead, and my son is the living.

 24 And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.

 25 And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.

 26 Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.

 27 Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.

 28 And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.

It is in my opinion, a true act of love to want the best for your child.  And Only a Mother knows. I honor those who both give and receive in the act of Adoption. 

here's a couple of links for reference

http://tofw.com/story/770-being-the-birth-grandma

https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/ct/eng/site/adopting-families/

http://sethadamsmith.com/2012/11/01/adoption-month/

Apryl

I must reminese...

31 years ago My Richie and I came out the Hospital (yes anona - a hospital!) a much more complete and humble couple!!!  For we came home with Apryl Ann Sobczak A little red headed beautiful sugar bear!!!

I asked Richie just now, all these years later what he felt and how he feels now, he said;

He almost passed out and the birth! 

She interferred with his watching of the Space flight STS-2!!!

That Was so long ago!  

How did we pay for that? 

We spent the day together Dad and Mom talking and bonding, thinking about our kids and how much we love them.  How we are praying for them and we want them to succeed to find happiness.  The conclusion was Apryl Ann we are so grateful for you - YOU kept us together, kept us striving, you are "a girl who saved a generation"!  thank you for coming to live with us!!!! <3 appy="appy" birthday="birthday" nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

Another one bites the dust!

Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

A scripture that has bugged me the last few weeks.  It was something. as I understand that the more self righteous Jews did, but also that Jesus taught the Apostles to do in a way of you taught them, they don't accept it, go privately dust off your feet and you can judge them openly on Judgement day.

I do not waant to judge anyone, nor do I want to be judged.  I sat down here with a thought to write and before I did so studied and read some more information about this scripture.  Thus I have deleted a blog entry and am reconsidering my stewardship of some things.  I was lead to understand a few weeks ago when i read this that it would be easier for me to "let go" of somethings using this idea "dust off your feet".   As I have read and pondered this morning, it's not my place to judge and especially not here out in the open.  Thus I will change my behavior and update my blog to only be about me and not the words of anyone else. My perspective is just that - my perspective.  nothing profound here, dang!  I really thought I had a profound statement when I sat down here to write today and what I found as I've read pondered and searched...was a chastisement, a kick in the butt.  I apologize if I've hurt anyone out there.  Let us watch our words - what's the old saying?  Do unto others - if for no other reason than, we dont want them to come back around and kick us in the butt.

Decades of Advise

Temporal Salvation depends on our Spiritual Salvation 

 on our Temporal Preparedness Depends on our Spiritual Preparedness

Pray to be Wise
1980's
Welfare
Work
Food Storage
One Year Supply

Sow seeds temporal and Spiritual
1990's
Wefare
Be Prepared
Get out of Debt
Do for others

Be prepared yourself to better help those in need
2000's
Welfare
Pay Tithing
Raise the Bar
Be Temple Worthy

Look Up to the Light
2010's
Welfare
Service
Family History
Go to the Temple

 And thus we see;

Let us be advised to store sufficient food to meet an emergency.

This is a particular time, when if we are not prepared even the elect would be deceived.

Let us be advised to conserve our energies and our means.  We have been taught.

Let us not be blinded by our own vanity, by our desire to be what the world is for then we can't feel the spirit.

Let us not be idle.

Let us not lean to heavily on our neighbor.

Let us work and earn our own living.

Let us be honorable

Let us be anxiously engaged in good causes.

Let us not be bitter.

Let us have Hope.

Let us not be self-centered.

Let us Be REAL brothers and sisters neighbors and family.

Let us not covet.

Let us not be deceived.

Let us make good choices.

Let us be generous in our Tithes and Offerings.

Let us be as the church is...Out of Debt.

Let us sustain the church.

Let us follow the leadership of the Church.

Let us so live that the LORD can bless us.

Let us use our wealth wisely.

Let each of us Minister with Kindness.

Let us not make those who require assistance feel like paupers.

Let us give and not constantly take.

Let us be good stewards.

Let us live as the story of the Widow's Mite.

And when the time comes for us to go hence we will find awaiting us the blessing of a loving Father who has appreciated the efforts we have put forth.

Let us use this life as an opportunity to prepare temporally, but more so Spiritually not just of our substance but for ourselves and help those in need around us.

Jesus at His Second Coming

"Angry People are not always wise"

“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.” 

The quotes are from  -  Pride and Prejudice

I want to say that I hold no regrets

I want to say that I have no vengeance

I want to say that I pray for him

I want to say that he is a Son to me

I want to clarify I support her

I want to admit I played a bigger role than I should have

I want to ask for forgiveness

I want to scream I don't need any

I want to be angry

I beg to gather them both up in my arms and say; "all is well"

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” 

Instead I am writing

Instead I am praying

Instead I am loving from afar

Instead analyzing the foundation

Instead I am recognizing time as it flew by

Instead I am attempting to make sense of it all

I beg to ask "Why did you hate that you loved her?"

“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.” 

My mind reruns all the memories

My heart hears all the conversations

My eye sees the Good, the bad and the ugly

My perspective is that I loved, supported, chastened and let go but not in time

I beg to ask what happened? What about the covenants? Where is your testimony? When is it wrong to be kind? How do you know when to let go? How many times do you start over, forgive and forget? How does one forget?  What is it that you NEED to remember to never make that mistake again?

“I might as well enquire,” replied she, “why with so evident a design of offending and insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will, against your reason, and even against your character?”

I send out messages

I send out love

I send out forgiveness

I send out a need for closure

I send out positive, needful prayers

I beg to ask Why did I not see "The Red Flags"?

"Pardon me for interrupting you madam," cried Mr. Collins; "but if she is really headstrong and foolish, I know not whether she would altogether be a very desirable wife to a man in my situation, who naturally looks for happiness in the marriage state.  If therefore she actually persists in rejecting my suit, perhaps it were better not to force her into accepting me, because if liable to such defects of temper, she could not contribute much to my felicity."

I am not angry

I want to say I love you  - "I Love You!"

Instead I close a book

My voice it does not slander

I send out my Perspective

I beg to be able to let go of something I can not control.

"Angry people are not always wise"    but    Happy people know when to let go....

My hope is if I put my perspective out there I indeed can both be happy and let go

KSMSTHEMOM

We called him CAPTAIN

A Different kind of Euthanasia

     "The pain is intense, please help me die."  cries out John.  The 3 people gathered around him all started thinking about whether or not hey should fill this request.  They all have questions about their right to assist this person to die and in one way or another they are all thinking thee thoughts about this death: how soon will he die without help; if I were in his position would I want to die; and how will his living or dieing affect my life and the lives of others?

     It was apparent that John was in intense pain.  He had a serious head wound, a sucking chest wound, and several other flesh wounds, his limbs disfigured.  It was apparent that without extensive and prompt medical help he would bleed to death within sixty minutes.  The consensus was to let nature take her natural couse.

     No one really deres to live with multiple disfigurements  but many do and very happily after the pain is over and the bill are paid.  All three decided that they would want to live if they were in his position.

     They all three decided that there were too many ways that killing him would affect their lives.  The guilty conscience they could have saved him, having to tell his family how he dies, and losing a good buddy.

     In conclusion, after 15 minutes of discussion, they all agreed that in a normal situation, euthanasia, or mercy killing John at his request was not a civilized thing to do; however this was not a normal situation, they were running from Charlie.  They killed him because their survival depended on it, and he was dead anyway.

Tim M. McCoy

THE MEDAL

My back, buttocks, and the back of my upper legs are covered with blood.  I am tired, stinky with sweat (some of it from fear) and all I wanted was a beer and not to think of the last thirteen hours.  I have the beer, but I can't stop the thinking.

Yesterday had been a pretty normal day until about 21:30. We were scheduled to fly just normal resupply the next day and most all of the pilots were partying at the Officer's Club when the Commanding Officer came in and gave us a new briefing.  We were going to make an assault into an area about ten miles away known as Iron Triangle.  Everyone immediately orded more whiskey and beer.  Even when just flying over the area, no one flew below 1500 feet.  The Viet Cong and the NVA were deeply entrenched with heavy weapons and had an extensive underground bunker system in the forest.  Any assaut into this area was extremely hazardous to a person's health.  Naturally I was scheduled to fly and lead my section.

In my section I had a young 1st Lieutenant whom I will call Lt. D.S.   Lt. D.S. was a career officer and any chance to get good marks or some medals was eagerly sought after by him.  He was not scheduled to fly the next day, much to his disappointment.  All of us knew that tomorrow's assault would be what we called a MEDAL DAY.  Lt D.S. did not have any medals and badly wanted some.  He saw his chance.  He asked me if he could fly in my place in the morning.  As he had just passed his aircraft commanders test.  I checked with the C.O., he said OK, much to me relief.  I already had all the medals I wanted or needed. I continued to party.

At 6:30 the next morning, this morning, the flight took off with Lt. D.S. flying in my aircraft in my seat.  As I had not gone to sleep until 05:00 I did not see them off.  At 07:00 the Operations Officer woke me up and asked me if I could fly.  When I said yes, he told me to get dressed and to get my butt into my aircraft.  I went and I went fast.
When I arrived at the flight line, the crew chief and gunner had just laid Lt. D.D.'s body on the ground while the co-pilot kept the helicopter running.  The graves detail would pick up the body later.  We didn't even have time to wash out the aircraft or the seat.
It is now thirteen hours later, I am tired, the beer tastes good, I am still thinking, and here's a toast to Lt. D.S. he got THE MEDAL. 

It was the beginning of the end for me

Tim McCoy

No longer silent

Inside these prison walls,

along corridors of steel

with silent echos in the halls

are men of emotion who must not feel.

Men who must harden their hearts

who cannot afford to weep

Keeping body and soul in different parts

so they can their sanity keep.

Men in brown with flashlights bright

shine their light into taring eyes,

eyes wide open dreaming of flight.

Eyes wide open, screaming silent cries.

Are all responsibilities of the moralist ended?

Will "We the People" continue beaming?

Will confining injustice remain untended?

When no longer silent is the screaming!

Tim McCoy

1987

Veterans Timmy and Tom 1966 - 67

Today I was watching the Military channel which got me to thinking about my brothers who fought in Vietnam, this weekend being the celebration of the Vet and all!  So I got out Timmys things and was meandering through them  These are some of his decorations!  The following are a few of his reviews;


WO McCoy has performed his duties in a superior manner. 

WO McCoy has been a fine pilot in this platoon.  He has undertaken all missions assigned and has accomplished them successfully   WO McCoy has over 600 combat flying hours during his first 5 months in the theater.  He is very conscientious about his duty and devotes his best efforts to his assignment.  WO McCoy is one of the mainstays of the company during his tour.

During 1966-67 WO McCoy has been assigned to the 2nd section of the 3rd airlift platoon 187th Aviation Company in a TOE Helicopter Pilot position serving in Southeast Asia.

Lt McCoy is an energetic officer who demonstrated a professional, inquiring mind. with a desire to learn.  His warm personality and pleasing manner made him well-liked by his associates.  His military manner and conduct set an excellent example for others to follow.

Timmy

The capability of an assault helicopter company to perform the demanding requirements placed upon it is directly related to it's maintenance program.  CPT McCoy has accepted this large responsibility  wrestled with the challenges of men and machines day and night, and in an outstanding manner successfully maintained  built, and sustained the maintenance program of this unit.  CPT McCoy's willingness to drive himself and lead his subordinates through example have been an inspiration to everyone he associates with in the fields of aircraft.  I recommend him for more responsibilities... Through personal example he inspired his personnel to perform difficult tasks enabling the company to fly an unprecedented flying program.  

Tom

Timmy served as a Green Beret he served two tours in Vietnam.  1966-1967 and 1971.  During both he served as a pilot; on the first occasion at warrant oficer rank, on the second at the rank of Captain.  32 air medals, 2 with valor; two distinguished Flying Crosses, a Purple Heart, Broze Star and Silver Star.  He flew uncounted missions was shot down twice.




I'm proud of you Timmy and as Veterans Day approaches I honor you, and our Brother Tom as you both served in VietNam together in 1971. 

suffocating

Oh man it's February already!! Time is moving toooooo quickly. I need help. Someone to talk to a place to vent that is neutral there is no private place to post anymore I know better than to write anything online any more.  I'm suffocating in my own home.

Thanksgiving Early!

Thanksgiving!  what's it for?  Whats it all about?

Everyone will have a different answer

My answer is; Country Family Freedom and Food!

I've got it all here!

thank you God.

I had the most wonderful past few weeks and the top of the top weekend in years!  It Was wonderfully awesome and went way to fast.
I was and am so grateful to have had the visit of all my children home and 2 of my babygrands!

Samantha

            I feel like I had my thanksgiving and it's time now to get ready for Christmas.