An "A ha Moment"

Have you ever had that "Ahh Ahh Moment?

One day this fall I had one and I feel inspired to document it - I have felt so for a few weeks and just not done it.

Their have been people in my life that have come and gone.  Death is a thing; full of angst and sometimes it just pops up out of know where, I guess it will forever.  Of this I know of.
  
It is kind of the same when you loose someone and keep wanting to see them and you do everything you can and it just doesn't work out, the anxieties start all over again.

I was in Salt Lake driving around the city.  I knew not to even drive by his house. I respect his privacy, I do.   So I drove on, only letting him know I was in town.

Side note:
My older brother would go for years without checking in.  When he would call he would say to my mom; "no News is good news" and laugh while she cried.  Maybe he hurt when he checked in? I know he always said it was easier for his kids if he just stayed away. I always thought his way of thinking was skewed but maybe it left me with a more open mind and heart with better understanding now. 

Then on another occasion, a few weeks later driving thru Salt Lake on the freeway going North, it happened;  I had that "A ha Moment"!!!     "It hurts him to see you, cuz it brings it all to the surface. It's not that he doesn't care he just can't go there, not now."
Literally those words in my head, and I understood better why and because I love him I have stepped back making an effort to let go more.  He knows me, he knows where I am if ever he wants to talk or needs a hug.

Life is hard out there - we need people!

#GoodTimes