Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Kelly's 2016 Christmas Letter!

If this were my Last Christmas

Preface!

1. My mom always said she would die when she was 83. I don't know why she just knew it. Maybe she was spooked or something because her mom was 83 when she died. Never the less, My mom knew she was going to die when she was 83.  My mom was 95.

BackStory!

2. I've had a couple weird moments this month.  As I wrote out Christmas cards for mailing,  a couple of times I "felt" like this is the last time I will send Christmas cards, and found myself asking what should I say? What would I want my last Christmas cards to say? Last night at a church Christmas Party I found myself in tears as we sang Silent Night, and that same "christmas card feeling" came over me, I almost ran out of there as fast as I could, I was suffocating with "what if's"
Tonight I ask my dearly beloved (That is Richard!) what he would want to do if he knew this was his last Christmas. We had a nice little discussion, I think he was weirded out by it, knowing him as I do.  But in the end we said we'd want to be with family and we would want to make THIS Christmas one to remember one that we loved.  So the real question should be "What we will do to make this Christmas one to remember?"

Side Note to myself: 

3. In November I told myself before my next Birthday I want to write a list of things I wish I'd known before I turned 60.  When my Mom turned 60 I'd just turned 18, My nephew Matthew was born and I graduated from High School. It was a pivotal year that has affected in LOT of ways my life to this day. What have I learned that I would want my Babygrands, my girls, heck even my boys to know before they turned 18 or 60?  (Well someday I will learn how to put a hyperlink here and you will be able to go to read those answers) but for today with these 3 major thoughts on my mind as I begin to write my Christmas Letter.

Dear Richard, family and friends who want to share with me in my traditional Christmas letter;
     It's just us now. What a great year, a positive, blessed year this has been Richard you have worked very hard to support us and help out others. I am so grateful that we made the choice to allow me to be home and support our family in this way. We love me being TheMom! It's been a sacrifice, it's been hard going, it's been worth it, I love being a mom! This year has been a year of "us", finding each other, going on extended extreme dates! This has been our first year as empty-nesters (amrics missions years don't count for some reason I still thought he was home!). Thus we see Kelly and Richard taking on the world seeing life thru new experiences that of baseball, football, family times, weekend excursions, dates, double dates, vacations with Mike and Urlene all things that I never would have dreamed possible or even dreamt of (as unfortunately you know this about me, I have no imagination and a fear of hope)!  
  • November 2015 we went to Hawaii with Austin and the Girls - We loved it.
  • and then I got to go spend Apryls birthday with she and the fam for the weekend -We love Apryl.
  • December 2015 we took off for Utah to spend Christmas with the Utah kids. We love Hardins.
  • Thanksgiving at home was simply marvelous with Ayris,Shawn,AmricandMegan. We love Thanksgiving it might be my favorite holiday.
  • January we went to Portland for our 35th wedding anniversary (an Ag-Expo was involved!) We love business/personal Trips.
  • A fun Temple Sealing anniversary to Snoqualmie Falls, the Temple and a night in a high rise hotel looking over Seattle and a morning at Pikes place market - its the only way to go! We love it all - Temple, Seattle, The PNW.
  • News we are having Number 8 from MeganandAmric. We love the Sobczaks we love Babygrands!
  • We snuck off one morning for a date in Whatcom county watching Matthew Bowes boys play Rugby.  We love rugby.We love watching our youth become adults and parents!
  • Off to Utah to attend the Provo City Temple open house with Austin,Anona,Sammymantha(she'll be 8 this year so I especially thought this was a great opportunity for her) and AyrisandShawn. We love doing service for our kids we love our Babygrands.
  • Spent Valentines day with The Sobczak Girls while their parents took off for Hawaii. Fieldings helped me out and I was finally able to see Once I was a Beehive while Ayris and I bonded about Girls Camp. When Anona returned Charlotte got her first hair cut! We love Girls Camp and hair cuts!
  • Double Date with Megan and Amric took us to Brooke and her Miss Grays Harbor experience where we ate mexican food in Hoquiam, toured Satsop School and Elma and enjoyed driving the hood canal.  We love that drive, those people and time with family.
  • We did timeless hours of yard work (which today no one would even know!) Richard built a patio and dropped tons of rocks my man is a hard hard worker and always always wants to satisfy!  Now thats a date!!!! When it comes to doing things we kinda agree "Together Separately" our ideas aren't always put into action the same way. But we love moving on Stepping Forward! Richie is only a little OCD about rock placement!
  • Amric and Megan living with us was wonderful and amazing - I simply enjoyed it. But they move on ... off to Logan Utah.  A sad day for the parents to see them go. We love our millennials!!! 
  • A quick date to see the Mariners play in Az has kinda turned into a tradition, I love doing it because I get to see Rens and Shelbys. We love our Quick trips to Arizona (and yes Richard wants to move back someday!). We even went House hunting it was great and almost snagged me into the idea! It's just so HOT in Arizona.  Ayris and Shawn surprised us and we got to see the Easter Pageant, We love it when they surprise us and I love the memories of the Mesa Arizona Temple Easter Pageant. I hope that my babygrands could all see it one day. We were able to spend time with Mia Judyann and to have birthday lunch with the Ren Family.  We love the Rens and keeping extended family bonds ALIVE!
  • Holy Moly we flew in and out of Vegas for the weekend! We saw some things! Urlene and Mike picked us up at the airport and we went to see Elton John. Prince had just died EJ did an amazing tribute to him.  Lets just say the show was so fun from beginning to end. We ate, took a trip down the river, and yes Richard and Mike pulled a few arms on a one armed bandit! I won't ruin this by saying how sore and swollen my feet were from walking the streets of Vegas. We love the Shelbys.
  • We with the help of Jenni Noyes and took a last minute trip to Vermont via Boston.  We got to sight see in Boston and drive up to see Larkins.  What a blessing it was to spend time with Gage when he was baptized.  Can't say I love Boston, but the trip was a blast impulsive and we were and will ever be grateful to Jenni for helping us make that trip happen. We love Jenni Parker Noyes. Gage is such a great kid. His spirit and personality are one of a kind. We love Gage and spiritual testimony building experiences.  We took the family and went to the movies because we love date nights at the movies and family time.
  • We took a holiday weekend like memorial day and spent it with The parkers. Tim has a lovely new home and wife and it's amazing seeing this family gather and observing a new generation fill the shoes of the parents.  We love The Parker Clan.
  • Opening Day at the Mariners - we love our Baseball dates!
  • Quick dunk in the Arizona pool life took us to Shelbys for a movie, house hunting, maybe a job, and Urlene and I driving thru Yucca Trailer Ranch! Oh Richard did you skin your head on the bottom of the pool?!             again We love Arizona - me from afar!
  • The 4th of July in Utah! Firecarackers, concerts, parades, heat and Family. and all the chaos that goes down with such am experience.  We love Austin, Anona, The girls; Sam,Cici,CharandKate, Ayris, Shawn, Megan and Amric and all their efforts to keep us all connected. 
  • We got to take Sammyantha on a date to the movies and be involved in her birthday celebrations.   We love Sammantha Gene. Celebrated too with Anona where the girls and I took a special date to have our nails done.  We love Anona and I love mani pedis with my Girls.
  • So excited to see Megan I miss her in the house so much.  Anona, Ayris and I went to her baby shower and dang it - we had a blast.  The boys did what? I don't remember guess they didn't have as much fun as we did!  We love the expectation of a new babygrand and Megan!!!
  • This was a long date and differently done - yes, definitely together but -together separately!!! We brought home the girls! We drove with them to Amrics in Logan, they fed us breakfast and we took off for Washington.  It was amazing we stopped at rivers, we played games, we picnicked, we spent the night (in a less than Austin approved motel), we cried, we laughed, we told stories, we sang, Finally we are home.  We love HOME! We love the PNW! We loved the next few days as we spent time with and cared for our wonderful, wonderful girls.  We went to the parks, the library and spent most of our time in the swim spa!  We love our swim spa!! When Austin and Anona returned they were also on a road that would move them to San Fransisco, so they had their work ahead cut out for them. We got to have a date at Coconut Kenneys We love Pizza celebrating Austins Birthday we love Austin Eugene and then take the boat to Baker Lake. We love Baker Lake.
  • We had one of our GREAT DATES when we picked up Ayris and Shawn at SEATAC and headed in to SafeCo Field to watch the Mariners retire Ken Griffey Jr. Jeannine and Robert met us there, we got to eat food in great quantities, see lots of people, be inspired with a sermon a saved preacher gave in the street and enjoy baseball PLUS it wasn't even too hot!  We love Baseball, Family and this retirement ceremony was kinda amazing.
  • In and out quickly with a visit to our new City living Sobczak house in SanFran we went on a family date to the Bay, we had chowder, chocolate, and popcorn.  We had an "App" drop off your car to be parked experience in the start up city! and we took a boat ride around Alcatraz and went under the San Francisco Bridge. Richard was very impressed as was I, with the Ag representation at the Farmers Market we went to in San Mateo!   We love San Fransisco!!!
  • We met Urlene and Mike and started our first double date vacation! I so hope there are more of these to come!  We drove up the coast, We saw the ocean, we walked in the sand, stretched our necks to see the seals, drove fast to beat the sunset at cannon beach, we drove alot - well Mike drove alot!, we stayed in 5 star hotels and one 1star hotel (Oh Richie we wont hold it against you)!!!, we pushed a kid out of the tillamook cheese VW bus - well i did!!!, we took in the history and sights all along the Oregon sea shore and totally enjoyed Fort Clatsop museum and the roll playing NorthWest explorer!!! We went whale watching in the San Juans and hit the bar in Edison! We lost our Anchor in Baker lake and ate with the fishes! We (the Mariners) won to Mikes (and The Rens') New York Yankees - Yes again double dating at Safeco field!!! We wined and dinned at Jorjes Kitchen, we even went to church! But mostly we chatted, watched movies, played games and hung out like we are still kids!  What an amazing couple of weeks and we were still talking when they left. We love our Friendship, kinship, childhood memories, our Rivers!, our BOOM BOOM BOOM Babys!!!  heck it's as close to family as it gets - our time with Mike and Urlene!
  • We had a charitable date night in La Connor having a nice time with the work friends.  We love Northwest Farmcredit
  • We completed out first 1000 piece puzzle!  We love that we CAN DO HARD THINGS!
  • I had a great date with Lovena Clark. We went on a road trip to Utah for a wedding - one of my long lost students!  We talked to bears on the Rez, we saw fires along the freeway,  we picked up and lost calls from Brooke and gabbed with each other til our hearts content. It was so much fun! Even the truck stop quicky!!! Nap that is! It was great to have a better acquaintance with Trombleys and super great to see Rex and Jordan I love my seminary kids from the day We are so grateful for the youth we have been able to cross paths with.  
  • In September, We separated for 6 weeks, no it was ok!! during our separation of ways we welcomed a Babygrand number 8! Colton Walker Sobczak the son of Megan and Amric.  I was there for a few days too long, I think their journal would say. But I enjoyed it so much. 1. I got to go on a date to a ridiculous movie with Amric I love my movie dates with my kids. 2. I got to spend time getting to know Megan more We love our kids' spouses From the First -Sean Larkin to the last -Megan Andersen Sobczak! 3. I had fun watching Parks 'n Rec with AandM. 4. I got to be hands on when CW came home. I love CW and his lion kid blessing father! and 4. I was able to make a couple of trips to have dates with Ayris and Shawn too! This was Ayris' 26th. We talked and bonded, although not as much as I thought since she was pregnant and forgot to even mention it and I was so worried about talking about not getting pregnant that I missed all the inspirational signs!!! But her birthday was fun Richard joined us for waffles and then we all went up for a Blessing of the Colton name (no mention of Paul Walker or even Walker Texas Ranger was involved)!!!  We love Colton and welcome him to our craZy family. 5. I reread the Book of Mormon throughout in 6 weeks with only the result of better understanding it was actually fun to read without stopping to study or pick it apart. We love the Book of Mormon.
  • also during this 6 weeks Richard needed alone time to spend 300 hours writing a report to get his MAI.  We love furthering our Education! Certification and skills in the work force.
  • On our return we stopped off for a game of golf in Az, Richard needs his sun! After arriving back in my beautiful Washington we hit Hwy 20 for another beautiful fall turned winter turned back to fall drive to Lake Chelan and around to Marilyns for a good long over due visit. We love Marilyn, Keagan and Theo. This was really more than one date! We love dating!
  • In November Richard went to see the Larkin Clan while I had mouth surgery and caught up on some family history. We love Family History. Richard had such a great visit with and We Love Vaughn, Pax and Gage. We surely did miss the summer visit that Vaughn has had every summer since he was born up until 2016! We love Larkin Summer Vacations at our house. Richard finished up his MAI testing and now we wait. Not sure I can say We love waiting! Nope can't do it!!!  While there he had the opportunity to race around a speedway at 200mph on a 1.5 mile track with a 24 degree bank, maybe it was 100mph and in a van - you know me I like to make the story more fun!!! We love Stories!!! He loves going and doing craZy stuff!
  • It's November we are having an empty-nester Thanksgiving. Wait!! Ayris and Shawn surprise us for a quick two day double date.  It was amazing and they brought news! They bring us number 9 on the babygrand train! We are so happy for them. We love our BabyGrands!  Our Thanksgiving was spent a few days early with appetizer tacos, rotisserie chicken and cranberrys! Oh and of course Pumpkin Pie!  We love our tradition of "Hello Vy this is Sy"!  We love traditions! Thanks you guys for surprising us so much this year We love surprises!
  • We love Hockey Dates with friends!
  • This year I have worked to get rid of extra sentimental things so they don't get lost in my house. In so doing I started making quilts for family. I'm really terrible at it, my mom would not be impressed. But my love and intent is sincere and meant to create links from the past to the present. We love connections to family.
  • We grabbed a really quick weekend to the city life and were able to set up the Christmas tree and wrap present with Our San Fransisicans. What an especially lovely and fun way to start off our holiday season attending a concert presentation with Anona in a community choir singing lots of diverse Christmas Music. We love Anona! It was nice to have time at church and a date with Austin at a awesome little movie house sorta place that served a great burger! We went to the zoo and walked and walked and walked. We saw the bears search for fish and the lions sleep. The zoo is a great way to spend time with family. We sat in line for 30 min just to eat an In and Out Burger - WOW! we must love Burgers! 
  • Our last date was to a Church Christmas Party I've already mentioned this so I will just say here that We love our Church Family and connections like this are hard to find and hard to beat at the same time. We love being involved in our Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints community and culture and hope to Bring Light into your World and ours by being and getting involved with each other. Be kind. Be Aware. Remember who you are and Let Your Light So Shine.
Christmas is right around the corner for 2016 Make it good, Find Happiness. look for and remember the reason that it is celebrated. That reason tends to get lost in the hub-bub. My thought this year is 'He' had to be quite the person to have His birthday still celebrated so many years later and by so many.  My love to you all, my wish that you Celebrate as if this Christmas were your last, no regrets, leave joy for all - Make it one to Remember, One that you love

  • Christmas was awesome! SO SO grateful. BLESSINGS abound. Ayris, Shawn, Amric, Megan, Colton, Aunt Marilyn, Gramma, Richard, myself food, visits, Pjs and more it was one for the books. Missing Austin his family and Apryl with hers. What a blessing it is to be able to talk to my Georgia nephew and nieces and their families. God Bless to the Rens. Many hugs to those out there in this craZy world I love you.  
  • thank you Heavenly Father for health, warmth and salute! to the New Year!
  • Happiness in 2017

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Don't waste time being offended


A deep thought for those I love in a world of taking offense and darkness...

One time when AZ (he's my youngest son) was a few months old my brother, my oldest brother Tim shook him unnecessarily screaming in his face and then laughed.  Lets be clear he did this just for the hell of it!

He'd been drinking as usual. I took my baby away from him, I yelled at him and we all sat back down to visit. 

Later Timmy apologized picked up AZ and did it again! That night my other brother, Tom (I call my little brother he's seven years older than me) slept on the floor by my daughter AA  who was sleeping on the couch, he did so with a gun in his hand --  I'm only assuming that it was because he was afraid of what might happen. My point here is I was offended I was so offended that I didn't speak to my brother Tim for 10 years. 

My brother Timmy never shook me or struck me, I admired him and looked up to him so much. He was fun, funny, loving, he told the best stories, he had the best laugh, he could be kind generous and hilarious. He was a great worker. A soldier to be proud of.  He loved carpentery work and brick work.  When he came home from Panama I didn't think there was anything in the world better or cooler than Tim Michael McCoy my brother a green beret!  Don't get me wrong he could scare the crap out of me he had serious PTSD when he came home from Vietnam and he drank way too much! But I regress, Back to my point I was offended And because of that wasted 10 years of not talking to him.



While social media allows us to all get to know each other and be closer we can also be offended. While friends, family, neighbors think other friends family and neighbors don't live life right or are not doing whatever they think they should be doing one can be offended. I just want to take this opportunity to encourage us not to be offended


To let ya'll in on a little secret I don't use or appreciate the Fword, I don't like porn, I don't like some politics, I dont care for some of the memes that get posted!!!  But if I'm friends with you on social media its for a reason maybe I admire you, or I really am interested in your outlook on life, maybe I love you, I love your kids and I love being able to see you through the marvelous invention of technology. I don't know why I didn't get to know some of you better than others of you but another little secret - I'm not deleting you. I'm not walking away offended!  

Everyday and every night I pray for good things to happen in your lives and for you to like yourselves and be your best selves to and for those you have in your family here and now. 

Start now to Not be on the defense always being offending, putting up walls, blocking interaction, connections we all need! Choose instead to Be Positive, no regrets of 10 years that you will never ever get back being offended. I do what I can when I can to support you and know you with what is available to me. This world teaches us to be offended let's choose to not be. I should have told Timmy "you're an idiot" and moved on versus my choice of being prideful and holding a grudge only making Me jaded and dark.   I love my brother and I miss him. 

#spreadthelove #standtall #volunteerPTSD #findjoy #LightTheWorld #dontBeOffended #beforgiving #usewisejudment #lovetheoneyourwith #dontJudge #familiesareforever #peaceout

Thursday, December 01, 2016

My Happiness Project

Return and Report!
These are my 5 Strengths, I would also refer to them as my strongest weaknesses!
My Friend Urlene and I started a smash book to record and document to make a fun place to see our progress our resolve to dig in to My Happiness Project.  She told me about Gretchen Rubin and her books and I fell hard!  Urlene loves me and so she indulged me setting up these books of ours my last visit to Arizona, you should have seen us, it was quite a mess both the room and us!! I was enlightened to see how much she cared about me, this isn't something she wanted to do! I watched her work at it staying there processing this project idea, I want her to know I appreciated that she did this with me - I don't know how I would have started it without her.
Solitude is a weird thing, I've had my share of it these last 3 years, done some serious soul searching.  These books of GR are amazing and fit to my personality I can relate to her so much, anyway ... Because I'm not a reader, if you know me - you know that, it jumps out at me that I can attempt to use her pattern and find my Happiness, my purpose added to and upon the things I've been taught, my upraising and my current emptynester status.  This list is the first of the things I want to learn about, character traits I want to develop, and the person I want to find down deep within.
and this is where I start.
What is a Patriarchal Blessing?   https://www.lds.org/topics/patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng
The #4spendidtruths These are from her Book(s) and she talks about them in her YouTube videos http://gretchenrubin.com/ this is a great place to go and learn from her

My inspiration comes when I'm reading from The Light of Scriptures
Ok so I don't have my own 12 commandments yet these are Gretchen's http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2009/09/twelve-commandments-of-happiness/


I hope to have my own 12 commandments at the end of this project.  After completing my first month (Nov and Dec of this year are going now to be considered my practice months!!) I think one of my commandments will be Don't Give Up, if you didn't write yesterday write today. Writing, Logging, recording, documenting somehow some way will help me not give up.
I just like this paper! It will have a cool picture on it before this is over!!!

I love her #SecretsofAdulthood
I will apply these and read them often.  I have added to this page the following list for my secrets of Adulthood.  
  1. Pray everyday everyday everyday Pray asking what should I pray about! Pray for my kids!
  2. Move the Body!
  3. Minimize time screen time - evaluate daily
  4. remember mom taught me to write thank you cards  - Say Thank you everyday.
  5. Spend Time Outside make myself go outside everyday everyday everyday
  6. Unplug  (I don't know how long yet but I know everyday everyday everyday that I need to)
  7. Do service and this doesn't count my chores!
  8. Have a good clean joyful laugh (this one is hers, but I like it I don't know how to do it)
  9. Use your talents always searching and maybe adding new ones
  10. Live with who I am sleepwise be productive
  11. Don't look back longingly
  12. Read more Learn more Apply knowledge

This is a great guideline for Happiness also
Proverbs 31:10-31 I want to be that woman

The first 2 practice months and first 4 months
 Main Resolution with subgoals
the next 8 months FamilyisForever Nov and Peace Dec.




So Stay tune and I shall return and report my progress of #MyHappinessProject the coming of self.


An "A ha Moment"

Have you ever had that "Ahh Ahh Moment?

One day this fall I had one and I feel inspired to document it - I have felt so for a few weeks and just not done it.

Their have been people in my life that have come and gone.  Death is a thing; full of angst and sometimes it just pops up out of know where, I guess it will forever.  Of this I know of.
  
It is kind of the same when you loose someone and keep wanting to see them and you do everything you can and it just doesn't work out, the anxieties start all over again.

I was in Salt Lake driving around the city.  I knew not to even drive by his house. I respect his privacy, I do.   So I drove on, only letting him know I was in town.

Side note:
My older brother would go for years without checking in.  When he would call he would say to my mom; "no News is good news" and laugh while she cried.  Maybe he hurt when he checked in? I know he always said it was easier for his kids if he just stayed away. I always thought his way of thinking was skewed but maybe it left me with a more open mind and heart with better understanding now. 

Then on another occasion, a few weeks later driving thru Salt Lake on the freeway going North, it happened;  I had that "A ha Moment"!!!     "It hurts him to see you, cuz it brings it all to the surface. It's not that he doesn't care he just can't go there, not now."
Literally those words in my head, and I understood better why and because I love him I have stepped back making an effort to let go more.  He knows me, he knows where I am if ever he wants to talk or needs a hug.


Life is hard out there - we need people!
#GoodTimes