Good Manners or Just Plain Fear

I love You Ayris Joan those eyes are a light in my life.

Today Ayris asked - Why when I go to do something - why can't I just do the minimal?  I chuckled to myself thinking Why would any of us Do the Minimal?  And yet, I think I am guilty of the minimal!  When the list goes around at church to sign up to volunteer to bring food for the dinner at the church, feed the missionaries, bring mittens for the cold kids!, or when Molli asks for help to feed the less fortunate, when your neighbor has no family around and she needs help with her children - what do we do?  Well we should exert ourselves!  I am pretty great at volunteering when it's placed in front of me with a list, infact I don't just want to bring the bring dessert for the potluck but bread or something else too!  But to be aware, look around observe and then serve - kinda awful at it, I need to do better  - I needed Mollis encouraging words "God made you to be a giver. The best way for you to be fulfilled is to get your mind off of yourself & reach out to others."

and Amric says it like this in every letter so far - "forget about yourself Turn outward like Christ would when the Natural Man would turn inward." quoting David Bednar

The thing is I am starting to recognize I could go do this or that, before I didn't even recognize what I should go do.  I have some darn FEAR of putting myself out there, interfering, being hurt, falling on the ice, being rejected! I can blame my Mom - isn't that what were suppose to do, Blame our Mothers!  She always said; "dont interrupt", "don't bug them", "knock first", Don't call them by their first names", know matter family, friend or stranger.  I think THAT MESSAGE took!   At the time I always thought it was manners I was learning, but to this day it's hard to call someone I meet, friends I make as an adult by their first name! Ridiculous!

This one is for me tonight.  I find myself boarded up, secluded from the world, safe with my walls to protect me - tonight I ask myself - Protecting myself from who or what?

I'll come back as the year goes on and report on my effort to Exert MySElf!