I got nothin'

You really can't write any more, not without everyone reading . . . Unless you have a handwritten journal somewhere in your house. But who wants that? We really do want to reach out to converse with someone in our busy worlds, have feed back engage in some sort of a social life! Or do we? How do we share our lives or get close to someone any more?
Today I posed a question on Facebook wondering what is inside a person that gives them the fight to succeed vs the willingness to quit? I do want to know, but don't want to pray to find out. I want to be a person who is strong my book, tv and movie character role models my Scripture hero's and heroines they have "it", I don't. I understand that it's mostly pride that gets in our way .. Well my way. I understand that people can't win with me, I'm not very trusting, I want help but I don't want to ask for it...if given I feel like a failure cuz I even needed it. So again ask? I wonder what is submission vs pride and how do you do that without feeling completely like, well you're a freakin idiot with no voice?

I strive, I guess, because I never like nor want to feel that way, to be non-confrontational - to not be the person that makes you feel like that. But somehow I wish I didn't care how you feel and could get you to like something I like or do something I like to do. Maybe my momma shouldn't loved me unconditionally leading to me to believe that everyone would love me that way too. That unrealistic. I got nothin.