Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Search diligently, Pray Always and Love Unconditionally


Elder Sobczak
This is my son - Amric!  He is presently serving a mission in California.
You might (if you know me at all, recall that I mentioned a few times that I was and am missing Amric and that for my Birthday My sweet husband, Richard gave me a cardboard rendition of him, we call him "flat Amric"

"Flat Amric" and Richard summer 2013
It was a wonderful "bittersweet" kind of gift - it made me laugh and cry at the same time!
We haul him around the house, talk to him in his room bring him out to watch TV with us, I even took him to Relief Society with me once!  

"Flat Amric" hanging out by the clock!
Often you could find him just hanging out by the clock or looking out the window at the lake, he loved the lake, the beach and just being outside!
Loading up in Nebraska

Then one day we got a new job, packed up our things and moved away from our house on the lake.  In an effort to be sure that "flat Amric didn't get lost ... (mostly i was worried about him being bent) I secured a spot for him in with the Pictures that were to be packed the day the movers came over.  So I didn't see "Flat Amric" for a few weeks.  

When we unloaded in our new house I sat picture boxes in the corner - safe and sound thinking I'd get him out when the house was all sat up again protecting him, keeping him safe and sound.  I sorted and trashed, I gave away and set up. 
 Moving is a crazy crazy process.

Unloading in Washington

Well This week I felt unpacked enough that it would be safe to bring him out.  Unpacked one box and then another... he was no where to be found.  So I went to his room I unpacked everything - he was not there. I went to the garage I franticly unpacked the rest of the boxes in the garage - no Amric.  I felt the complete since of bad parenting, not doing it right, leaving him somewhere and not following up on him, what was I going to do, where is Amric??!!??  I prayed "Heavenly Father help me know where to look" -  Ok I know you think I'm nutty here but think of all the analogies! I did.  Where are our kids? How much attention do we pay to what they are doing, who they are with? what they are watching? if they are warm or too cold? fed or even if their homework is done - I don't know being a parent is HARD WORK!!!  Do we keep them so protected that they can't survive in the world? do we not pay enough attention thinking of our own selves first?  Oh I could go on and on asking myself these questions and more concerning  all the kids I've taught or the grandkids the nieces and nephews...over the years and the individual names I pray for? I could name them here too along with all my worries and stewardship  - But I won't - different story, different day!

 This is me and my story today ... I just never gave up.  I have diligently, really searched and prayed for about a week now for "flat Amric" and for myself and how to find him.  Then this morning at 3 AM out of a sound sleep I was awaken by the words "you never even opened the glass table top box,  you just gave it away".  I sat up with a start! I had sent a 36" square glass table top marked glass table top, the box about 3" deep to the DI truck - reason -because I've been "cleaning house", - getting rid of things...things that we haven't used or have dragged around from move to move - I thought, at the time, I knew what it was and I didn't even open it, sending it away!  I was as they say "judging a book by its cover!"

I couldn't go back to sleep. When Richard awoke and the thought had not gone away for hours  I mentioned the words to him that I'd heard and we said together "we have to go find him".

Bless his heart he went with me to the donation trailer and we dug for an hour under what other people had placed inside searching diligently to find that box that I had discarded without even opening it up. Oh and a side note ... People throw stuff away that isn't useable don't donate gross shower curtains, worn out mattresses, broken lamps and pieces of glass - take your crap to the dump, I digress :)  I should have taken pictures but we were searching in the rain and the cold! Also noted here was a new found confidence in my husband realizing how much he both loved and trusted me, to go and actually help me search.

YES! yes he was there!  wrapped up tightly, safely and unharmed with the glass table top!  OHHH Amric. I hope I never loose you, I pray for you out there in the world everyday for your success and safety for your health and good choices.  I hope we all pray for our kids every day - I know I do.  I know my Mother did or I'd be nuttier than I am now and you can see that is pretty nutty!!!  I know I will never give up on the ones I love, even from my perspective the ones lost and alone out in the cold.

What I have also discovered since is that during this time that "flat Amric" was lost  down south in California, Elder Amric was having some trouble he too was searching for himself, learning about who he is. It's all just a wonderful insightful lesson about stewardship, motherhood  and unconditional love. All things my mom did a great job of throughout her life with her actions teaching me.  thanks mom I miss you (was it your voice I heard?).  Miss you too Am, hang in there ;) to my kids with kids you hang in there too and Pray for them everyday of your life by name.

What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness and go after that which is lost until he find it?  Luke 15:4

If thou shalt find that which thy neighbor has lost, thou shalt make diligent search till thou shalt deliver it to him again.   Doctrine and Covenants 136:26


thank you, to who ever the angel was that put those words in my head at 3am.

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