My Happiness Project Jan Return & Report

Who knew that this would be "THE" month that I needed to read and learn about Civility? Definitely not me!  But it has surely been what I needed to help me throughout this month. Between The Election, a quest for caring for the elderly or anyone for that matter and attempting to plan a reunion of family members -no a weekend gathering - maybe only a day to take a picture while a baby is blessed and then to top it off all the social media correspondence; YES, I have needed, really needed a guide, a constant, a direction.  #MyHappinessProject is giving me that, this month my focus is civility and my sub topic of hearken to His words.  In addition Gretchen Rubin suggests find a spiritual connection, a person even one to learn of;  follow, study and apply if you will and thus we see I have added my subtopic to each month.  FYI -My person is Emmeline B. Wells, but I'll save that for another day.

Civility

I really like the following paragraph, I think because WORK is my word for the year and it correlated with civility.  

• " Truly great men and women resolve to dedicate a part of their lives and time to those in distress. Helping hands can lift someone out of the mire of difficulty. Steady voices can provide encouragement for someone who might otherwise simply give up. Skills can change, in a remarkable and wonderful way, the lives of those in need. It is not enough for us to get a job and for virtually work to produce income that leads only to personal comfort. We may gain some recompense in all of this, but we will not gain the ultimate satisfaction... The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: he or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she is Served...
• DHOaks said this about civility "......on the subject of public discourse, we should all follow the gospel teachings to love our   neighbor and avoid contention. Followers of Christ should be examples of civility.  We should love all people, be good listeners, and show concern for their sincere   beliefs. Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable.  Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious. We should be wise in explaining and pursuing our positions and in exercising our  influence. In doing so, we ask that others not be offended by our sincere religious  beliefs and the free exercise of our religion. We encourage all of us to practice the  Savior’s Golden Rule: “Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even  so to them” matt 7:12.

The world must be a better place for our presence. And the good that is in us must be spread to others. This is the measure of our civility." GBH

Something to Work at everyday!  In my research for civility I have the need to be true, honest, to be Fun, moral and Positive these are also needed in marriage and family relationships.

True.

• so one of the things that has been hard for me in life is death.  I have had the opportunity to sort thru the "things" of Daddy, Judyann (well not her so much), Tom, Timmy, Otis, Elda and Mom in doing so I found sadness, depression, frustration and much much comfort and joy.  This is how I was able to work thru their loss and hold on to their memories. Today in an effort to help my loved ones with civility I've gone through the house and made a list of "whats what and whos is who".  In death people who are still living can loose their civility, their true selves. To hopefully help my children, nephews and husband avoid questions I made a list of "things" in the house and where/who they came from. I really have seen people do good things in my life I hope to live up to those things I've seen ie; Ellen,Iris,Gladys,Elda,Otis,Tim,Timmy,Toni,Deb,Sis,TomandMary "salute" as they say!  and thank you to them for the "positives" in my life for "people do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." RWE

The Blind Men and the Elephant

• Well over one hundred years ago, an American poet put to rhyme an ancient parable. The first verse of the poem speaks about:
  Six men of Indostan

  To learning much inclined,

  Who went to see the Elephant

  (Though all of them were blind),

  That each by observation

  Might satisfy his mind.
  In the poem each of the six travelers takes hold of a different part of the elephant and then describes to the others what he has discovered.
  One of the men finds the elephant’s leg and describes it as being round and rough like a tree. Another feels the tusk and describes the elephant as a spear. A third grabs the tail and insists that an elephant is like a rope. A fourth discovers the trunk and insists that the elephant is like a large snake.
  Each is describing truth.
  And because his truth comes from personal experience, each insists that he knows what he knows.
  The poem concludes:
  And so these men of Indostan

  Disputed loud and long,

  Each in his own opinion

  Exceeding stiff and strong,

  Though each was partly in the right,

  And all were in the wrong!^{1    (remember tag the footnote to read the rest of the story!)  Please take a listen to this talk.}

Honesty.
I need to remember this and use it in conversations in the future! #Religion #politics #FamilyReunion

• How can you respond to an unwelcome and self-serving invitation to chill out? More or less like this: "No, I'm not going to chill out, and I'm telling you why. By telling me to chill out you are saying that I'm overreacting, which is like saying that I shouldn't feel the way I feel. I hope you'll allow me to have my feelings and express them the way I choose. Since I happen to feel strongly about this issue, there is no reason I should look the other way. I suggest that instead of making me fee bad about my reaction, you come to terms with the seriousness of your actions.” ― P.M. Forni, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Cond

In turn I'll remember it for them in their beliefs and feelings - just work at being civil about expressing them I say!

Be Fun.  

We went to Breakfast to celebrate our 36th year! it was fun!

Positive.  "Things will Work out!"  "Keep Trying."   "Be Believing."  "Be Happy."  

“I have to plant some trees each spring,” President Gordon B. Hinckley recorded in his journal at age 82. “I think I have done so for at least the last 50 years. … There is something wonderful about a tree. It starts ever so small and grows through the seasons. It affords shade from the hot summer sun. It bears delicious fruit. It carries on the remarkable process of photosynthesis. … A tree is one of the remarkable creations of the Almighty.”1 

Morality.  noun

1. principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior.

   • a particular system of values and principles of conduct, especially one held by a specified person or society.

     plural noun: moralities

     "a bourgeois morality"
   • the extent to which an action is right or wrong. 

   • 

     All of us should banish hateful communications and practice civility for differences of opinion.

Marriage attitude...my favorite quotes this month;

• Fun reading about this person (J.Story) learning more about that time in history.  Things our surroundings have changed, but really humans, civility, connections our rights and privileges "Marriage is treated in all civilized societies as a peculiar and favored contract.  It is in it's origin a contract of natural law...it is the parent and not the child of society; the source of civility..." Joseph Story  
• So in this month of civility Richard and I have had lots of conversations about what we're going to do with the rest of our lives.  We've come up with two things well maybe 3!!  1.The reality that no one's coming here to see us. 2.Yes, we like to go see your kids and 3. because of liking to go see your kids we've lost our adventurous side, meaning we don't go places really for the fun of it, we go places specifically to see our kids and babygrands. We need some fun and adventure! Thus we see our future is...to combine adventure, fun with seeing family. Today, out loud I have said two things I would never have thought I would say -  A. I would move back to Arizona and B.   I would live in a trailer again.  Now what??? from here how do we establish the last year's of our marriage.  Are we snow birds? Are we minimalists? I "feel" like we are the very tail end of the babyboomers, definitely the sandwich generation, but what does that say about us as a couple?  There ya go... in these questions we find adventure, fun, family, and with the application of civility therein we find US, who WE are indivudaully and as a couple. #MyHappinessProject rocks our world!
• "oh, that my husband could only love me even a little and not seem to be perfectly indifferent to any sensation of that kind...Oh my poor aching heart when shall it rest its burden on the Lord..." EBWells
• Reading my journals and striving to make them a condensed version causes me to have anxiety! reminding me to write things that bring joy to me vs passing along all of my own weaknesses and anxieties.  But how else do we learn and break cycles but to know them? and to share them?
• "Putting one’s committed marriage at risk by being involved in emotional infidelity is akin to selling one’s birthright for a mess of pottage (see Genesis 25)." A healthy marriage offers a secure bond and a capacity for quality and depth with which emotional infidelity—when looked at honestly—cannot ultimately compete. However, the secrecy surrounding emotional infidelity through the use of cell phones or computers can seem exciting. In contrast to this fantasy, the practical tasks of marriage—such as bill paying, childcare, and chores—may make marriage seem mundane, clouding judgment. In a technology-based relationship, people can easily control their presentations to the other person." Lori Cluff Schade LMT
• Elder Walter F. González of the Seventy said, “The power of our covenants is greater than any challenge we face or we may face.”12 (remember tag the footnote to read the rest of the story!)
• This year we celebrate our love in its 36+years in all it's #WORK and Glory!!! Lots and Lots of blessings and good things have been given us.

One result of these 36 years is - this 3 generations!

Hearken to His Words

• Define hearken- to listen or give respectful attention : 

• Isaiah 5:20 ¶Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
• In hebrews 4:12 God's word is said to be "quick and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword."  https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/02/a-two-edged-sword?lang=eng  a Short article to consider when wondering about 'hearkening to His word." and the use, meaning, purpose of the scriptures.

Scripture Study

Doctrine and Covenants

• This is our study in Sunday School this year. It's a good reminder for me that I do in fact have a belief in a Godhead, and in the need for a Prophet and that thru him and our own prayers we have modern and continual revelation.

New Testament

• Apply Parables 
• https://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/parable-of-the-good-samaritan?lang=eng
•  In the concluding days of His mortal ministry, Jesus gave His disciples what He called “a new commandment” (John 13:34). Repeated three times, that commandment was simple but difficult: “Love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:12; see also verse 17). The teaching to love one another had been a central teaching of the Savior’s ministry. The second great commandment was “love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:39). Jesus even taught, “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44). But the commandment to love others as He had loved His flock was to His disciples—and is to us—a challenge that was unique. “Actually,” President Thomas S. Monson taught us last April, “love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love.”1 (tag footnote to read the rest of the story)

Book of Mormon

• Reading 1 -13 first Nephi.  I didn’t like the nephi and laban story today. not very civil when my word for the month is Civility!!  I Did like how Nephi supports and respects his Father.  That he goes in his own prayer to talk to Heavenly Father. That gives me confidence and supports my own beliefs of both family respect and the respect of own beliefs.
• Keep reading. I had such a great read of this book last fall I do have more of a desire now to know it better.

and Along the way...

Mom and Dad
you don't understand! I never saw this before!!!

Family History

• I have connected my dad to the Bennets and Smocks!! I believe this line to finally be correct.
• Richards line is 3/4 Norway and 1/4 Polish.  I believe to have confirmed that too! Although as I write this I am acknowledging to myself that I can't figure out the lineage of his moms mom.  I do believe to have confirmed her biological father as well as Richards bio father.
• I've worked a tad bit on the Georg line and will continue to do so. 
• I am still not positive about the McCoys I still ask;  is Dad from the McCoys and the Hatfields or isn't he?!
• What is Family History? A pedigree chart? Stories? Traditions? continue i say always this search for self.

Body in Motion

• Walking wk 1 every other day.
• walking week 2 faster
• walking week 3 everyday
• walking week 4 everyday AND faster!

What I eat

• Be Healthy. 
• Knock off snacks. Knock it off I say. I bought valentine chocolate late in the month and have eatin them all. Can't have snacks in the house!!!!!
• Eat every 14-15 hours. Intermittent fasting works for me - continue this research.

Notes to myself

Had this dream all month these are the objects...

To see or do a jigsaw puzzle in your dream represents a mental challenge or problem that you need to solve in your waking life. If there are pieces missing in the puzzle, then it suggest that you do not have all the facts needed to make an informed decision.

To dream that you are in traffic signifies the frustrations that you are experiencing in your life. Things are not going as smoothly as you would like it to. You feel stuck at where you are in life.

To see dead or barren fields signifies lack, pessimism and your jaded prospects for the future.

Life is Hard and then you die.

Details and Questions you might not really want to know...

My daughter messaged me asking me what questions I might have wished I had answers for concerning the care for others in my home before I took in the Aunt, The Uncle, the Mother, so... I went to look for journals to see how and what I was feeling and ended up going thru "things" again!   I found the pictures of the youth National Guard in Denver in 1930 who's in this picture dad or uncle Otis; further investigation required!

I also found a couple pictures of my sister that I don't think I've ever seen before, she was nine.

Also, I ran across a baggie of letters my mom saved that were from my dad. He had written them before they were married and the first couple of years after they were married; new insight and also, much further investigation required.  

So, the purpose for this initial investigation was journals.  I tend to get distracted, and thanks for this day of digging into the past, daughter of mine!!!
While reviewing these things and thinking about this topic the last couple of days my thought goes to my first response to the question at hand - What do I wish I would have known before caring for the elderly in my home? My answer is - I think that it would be best to not know anything! wink wink! I think for me, it was best to have not known what was ahead of me, because I might not of done it, sad to say. 😷 These are the things that I learned that I didn't know I really needed to know and now know that I never really wanted to know!

1. It is possible your Extended family will hate you no matter what you do... you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
2. Your immediate family that lives in your house loses time, involvement, connection with you and does without, because you're so consumed with caring for this person so much that your other daily "need to dos" are lost. Depending on the needs of the person you're caring for it's time consuming, it can be all consuming. Personalities and chemistries are involved and need to be taken into consideration, in this decision and yet personalities of the patient might change.  Someone who is kind and considerate their whole life can become mean and vindictive- vice versa.
3. You'll never love someone like you love them after you've cared for them while they are sick, from taking their temperature to administering pills to bathing them, to reading to them, crying and laughing with them, to making promises to them that you'll fulfill after they're gone. The gratitude and love they express brings joy, blessings and humility your way.
4. Tips on how to hire would have been good to know. The people that you hire to come fill the void's; pick up the slack when you can't do it anymore well they tend to be minimum wage people, not necessarily in it for really caring for this person that you love. I ended up with drug users, drug stealers, misc. thieves, well; a little bit of everything in my house.  I didn't know ahead of time that I was getting into this thats for sure. I guess I figured the company I used had vetted them, that they were bonded, but you know what they say about people who assume and that was me!
5. You might need a little education in law, power of attorney - choices that are going to be made by you for this person - guardianship that's required. How best to help this person with their money.  Note that it's possible your person might have the means to take care of themselves - you would think this is a good thing but it can avail the patient no Medicare and some places don't want to take care of said person if they have money, whereas if patient has no money everybody wants said person because the government helps the company, you know like school lunch!  I also found quality of care changed after the private pay money was all used and, not in a good way.
6. Emotions are high both for the person you're caring for and for the caregiver. The caregiver needs to be surrounded by people who will help the caregiver.  If that is not available this choice should not be made. In my opinion.
7. What to document, what not to document, what to make public what to keep private in this crazy media, social media world I think it's important to know what should be kept private and what should be documented at least in a journal somewhere.  
8. People who aren't even related will still judge you, will still throw you under the bus and spew out their opinion of what you're doing causing lots of conflict everywhere between friends and family.

It's a tough choice choosing to bring someone into your home and care for them or even just going to their home to care for them yes, even helping them when they're in a care facility it all can be hard on everybody.

In correlation to #MyHappinessProject January is my month of #Civility, subtitled *"hearken unto His words" brings me back to the original question - Things I wish I would've known? My answer I think still is I wish I wouldn't of known any of it because maybe I wouldn't of done it.  But, let me clarify the joy that it brought me and the satisfaction that I know I did my best is how I live with myself today.
I like what Wendall Philips said "How prudently most men creep into nameless graves, while now and then one or two forget themselves into immortality!"   Ohh that we could all forget ourselves and be helpers.  We want to live in a civil world we have to make our surroundings moral, virtuous and keep our principles high, if we don't do that how do we live with ourselves?  Gordon B. Hinckley sums it up when he states "Caring for others, seeing and reaching beyond our own wants comforts, cultivating kindness and gentility toward others from all of life's situations and circumstances -- these are of the essence of civility, a virtue to be admired, a virtue to be acquired."

I say that in this day and age we have got to look out for each other practice civility and yes I believe the ripples will last through to other generations.

* Matthew 25:40 (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/25?lang=eng) and I also love Alma 34( https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/34?lang=eng) this chapter lists so many things we can do and pray for and about BUT if we don't help people out we pretty much suck! see verse 28!  Maybe we could take that into our daily lives in how we treat each other at home, online, at work, in public and in private! We don't have to look to far or go to much out of our way to find someone that needs a good word or a kind deed.

Today While the Sun Barely Shines

Without much life
life is without experience
Without much involvement
I'm left without much to comment on

Without any reading
I have no focus
without any prayer
I am left alone

Without civility
I am judgmental
without judgement
I am kinder

Without my phone
I have no communication
Without connectivity
there is no reason

Without reason
there is no motive
without motive
there is no ambition.

Without choice
there is no life
With Life there is
the simple prize of Hope.

When anyone attempts to bate us into arguments of anything all beit morals, politics... Well my dad would have told me "Shut up and get Rich." Rich in civility is my thought today for choosing to be kind, not judge and keep my mouth shut.

#MyHappinessProject  #Civility #choiceandaccountability

Happiness Project January

Civility

Each of us is human subject to the problems that afflict humans. We should not tolerate laziness, dishonesty, or betrayal. But neither should we condemn others for such a parent lapses. Instead, we can reach out to help them carry the burdens of sickness and financial difficulty, and even the weaknesses and shortcomings with which they are grappling. None of us needs someone who only points out our areas of weakness in the ways in which we have fallen short. we need someone who encourages us to go forward to try again to reach a little higher this time. Excellence is difficult to achieve in a vacuum.

Imagine in our own families, (let alone the world), would change if we vowed to keep faith with one another, strengthen one another, look for and accentuate the virtues in one another, and speak graciously concerning one another. Imagine the cumulative effect if we treated each other with respect and acceptance, if we willingly provided support. Such interactions practiced on a small scale would surely have a rippling effect throughout our homes and communities and, eventually, society at large.

Civility invites the ability to speak, to converse, to communicate effectively.

Hearken To His Words

I guess to hearken I need to read scriptures, and good books. 

Standing For Something by Gordon B. Hinckley

Choosing Civility  - The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct

 by P.M. Forni

This will get me started ... I'll be back!

My Happiness Project Dec.

December was my practice, second practice month.  Thank goodness because with Christmas involved it was hard to keep focused.  I will be bringing several resolutions forward, but mostly to keep and even in some cases, to start working on them.  I can see that the ideas and words are in my mind though and the applications are being made.  It's about to get real now, I can't call the future months "practice months"! I am and do want to return and report for December - for my own documentation sake!!

I can see that I need to continuously work on being a Light in the World - I think about me and mine way more than I should. I loved working on projects for #LightTheWorld, I love Christmas and Giving to my loved ones.

I totally lost focus on my health from November.  I ate without thinking and with no regard. I need to WORK at this.  Even though it is not listed as a resolution or even as a goal in 2017, it is in the background ALL OVER THE PLACE my hope is in not dwelling on it and applying good habits of eating and moving I am striving to not tell myself what I can't do but what I can do.

My actual journal pages are well seemingly personal so no pics this month.  Not much rhetoric either.
Civility is Jan. I am actually looking forward to learning and doing and changing my thought process because of this resolution!

I am so grateful for December and for the family love that it brings into my life and all of yours.

2017 THEMES! / Happiness Project MashUp

Resolution Table of contents

Word = WORK

Quote = "Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will NOT be sent to you. You have to win it."   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hymn 229

Today, while the sun shines

Today while the sunshine's work with the will today all your duties with patience fulfill today while the birds sing harbor no care call life a good gift call the world fair!

Today seek the treasure better than gold, the peace and the joy that are found in the fold. today seek the gems that shine in the heart; while here, we labor, choose the better part.

Today seek for goodness, virtue, and truth, as crown of your life and the grace of your youth. Today, while the heart beats, live to be true, constant and faithful all the way through.

Today, today, work with the will; today, today, your duties fulfill. Today, today, work while you may; prepare for tomorrow by working today.

Scripture

Alma 13:27-29

And now, ...I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even onto pain, that you would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the date of your repentance;

But that you would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that you may not be tempted above that which he can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long suffering;

Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that you shall receive Eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that you may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

This is the year of my #HappinessProject and with this theme in mind I've added to my Things to do each month;

January = Hearken to His words / Civility / Be True. Honest. Fun. Positive. Moral. and Work on my Marriage Attitude.

February = Repent / Joy /Work. Eliminate. Restore. Books. Clothes. Dishes. (I think I'll be throwing out stuff!)

March = Don't Procrastinate / Mindfulness / Be Smart. Still. Aware. Educated. Humble.

April = More Being Humble / Finances / money. Budgets. Taxes.

May = Prayer / Spirituality / Eternity. Scripture. Conference. Fasting.  find what else it means to be spiritual.

June =  Listen / Leisure / parenting. grand parenting. Forgiveness. Mercy.  

July =JOY Family appreciation

August = Meek /  Resilience / Don't look back longingly. Hows the Marriage and family history book coming along?!Avoid Temptation / Friendship. Visiting Teaching. Restoring (again?). Relish. Make new friendships.

September = Submissive (I hate this word, wish me luck) / Grateful.

October = Patience / Fear not.

November = Full of love / Family is Forever 

December = Long suffering /  Goodwill / peace

With the holidays settling down and moving to the back ground, I just needed to get grounded again and restate the plan!  Remember, kel these are resolutions vs goals, learning from the original Happiness Project that a resolution is something you keep doing next month, while adding the new plan for the new month.  Hope I am not in over my head and anxious to see what I will learn while starting my 6th decade of life! 

Kelly's 2016 Christmas Letter!

If this were my Last Christmas

Preface!

1. My mom always said she would die when she was 83. I don't know why she just knew it. Maybe she was spooked or something because her mom was 83 when she died. Never the less, My mom knew she was going to die when she was 83.  My mom was 95.

BackStory!

2. I've had a couple weird moments this month.  As I wrote out Christmas cards for mailing,  a couple of times I "felt" like this is the last time I will send Christmas cards, and found myself asking what should I say? What would I want my last Christmas cards to say? Last night at a church Christmas Party I found myself in tears as we sang Silent Night, and that same "christmas card feeling" came over me, I almost ran out of there as fast as I could, I was suffocating with "what if's". 

Tonight I ask my dearly beloved (That is Richard!) what he would want to do if he knew this was his last Christmas. We had a nice little discussion, I think he was weirded out by it, knowing him as I do.  But in the end we said we'd want to be with family and we would want to make THIS Christmas one to remember one that we loved.  So the real question should be "What we will do to make this Christmas one to remember?"

Side Note to myself: 

3. In November I told myself before my next Birthday I want to write a list of things I wish I'd known before I turned 60.  When my Mom turned 60 I'd just turned 18, My nephew Matthew was born and I graduated from High School. It was a pivotal year that has affected in LOT of ways my life to this day. What have I learned that I would want my Babygrands, my girls, heck even my boys to know before they turned 18 or 60?  (Well someday I will learn how to put a hyperlink here and you will be able to go to read those answers) but for today with these 3 major thoughts on my mind as I begin to write my Christmas Letter.

Dear Richard, family and friends who want to share with me in my traditional Christmas letter;

     It's just us now. What a great year, a positive, blessed year this has been Richard you have worked very hard to support us and help out others. I am so grateful that we made the choice to allow me to be home and support our family in this way. We love me being TheMom! It's been a sacrifice, it's been hard going, it's been worth it, I love being a mom! This year has been a year of "us", finding each other, going on extended extreme dates! This has been our first year as empty-nesters (amrics missions years don't count for some reason I still thought he was home!). Thus we see Kelly and Richard taking on the world seeing life thru new experiences that of baseball, football, family times, weekend excursions, dates, double dates, vacations with Mike and Urlene all things that I never would have dreamed possible or even dreamt of (as unfortunately you know this about me, I have no imagination and a fear of hope)!  

• November 2015 we went to Hawaii with Austin and the Girls - We loved it.
• and then I got to go spend Apryls birthday with she and the fam for the weekend -We love Apryl.
• December 2015 we took off for Utah to spend Christmas with the Utah kids. We love Hardins.
• Thanksgiving at home was simply marvelous with Ayris,Shawn,AmricandMegan. We love Thanksgiving it might be my favorite holiday.
• January we went to Portland for our 35th wedding anniversary (an Ag-Expo was involved!) We love business/personal Trips.
• A fun Temple Sealing anniversary to Snoqualmie Falls, the Temple and a night in a high rise hotel looking over Seattle and a morning at Pikes place market - its the only way to go! We love it all - Temple, Seattle, The PNW.
• News we are having Number 8 from MeganandAmric. We love the Sobczaks we love Babygrands!
• We snuck off one morning for a date in Whatcom county watching Matthew Bowes boys play Rugby.  We love rugby.We love watching our youth become adults and parents!
• Off to Utah to attend the Provo City Temple open house with Austin,Anona,Sammymantha(she'll be 8 this year so I especially thought this was a great opportunity for her) and AyrisandShawn. We love doing service for our kids we love our Babygrands.
• Spent Valentines day with The Sobczak Girls while their parents took off for Hawaii. Fieldings helped me out and I was finally able to see Once I was a Beehive while Ayris and I bonded about Girls Camp. When Anona returned Charlotte got her first hair cut! We love Girls Camp and hair cuts!
• Double Date with Megan and Amric took us to Brooke and her Miss Grays Harbor experience where we ate mexican food in Hoquiam, toured Satsop School and Elma and enjoyed driving the hood canal.  We love that drive, those people and time with family.
• We did timeless hours of yard work (which today no one would even know!) Richard built a patio and dropped tons of rocks my man is a hard hard worker and always always wants to satisfy!  Now thats a date!!!! When it comes to doing things we kinda agree "Together Separately" our ideas aren't always put into action the same way. But we love moving on Stepping Forward! Richie is only a little OCD about rock placement!
• Amric and Megan living with us was wonderful and amazing - I simply enjoyed it. But they move on ... off to Logan Utah.  A sad day for the parents to see them go. We love our millennials!!! 
• A quick date to see the Mariners play in Az has kinda turned into a tradition, I love doing it because I get to see Rens and Shelbys. We love our Quick trips to Arizona (and yes Richard wants to move back someday!). We even went House hunting it was great and almost snagged me into the idea! It's just so HOT in Arizona.  Ayris and Shawn surprised us and we got to see the Easter Pageant, We love it when they surprise us and I love the memories of the Mesa Arizona Temple Easter Pageant. I hope that my babygrands could all see it one day. We were able to spend time with Mia Judyann and to have birthday lunch with the Ren Family.  We love the Rens and keeping extended family bonds ALIVE!
• Holy Moly we flew in and out of Vegas for the weekend! We saw some things! Urlene and Mike picked us up at the airport and we went to see Elton John. Prince had just died EJ did an amazing tribute to him.  Lets just say the show was so fun from beginning to end. We ate, took a trip down the river, and yes Richard and Mike pulled a few arms on a one armed bandit! I won't ruin this by saying how sore and swollen my feet were from walking the streets of Vegas. We love the Shelbys.
• We with the help of Jenni Noyes and took a last minute trip to Vermont via Boston.  We got to sight see in Boston and drive up to see Larkins.  What a blessing it was to spend time with Gage when he was baptized.  Can't say I love Boston, but the trip was a blast impulsive and we were and will ever be grateful to Jenni for helping us make that trip happen. We love Jenni Parker Noyes. Gage is such a great kid. His spirit and personality are one of a kind. We love Gage and spiritual testimony building experiences.  We took the family and went to the movies because we love date nights at the movies and family time.
• We took a holiday weekend like memorial day and spent it with The parkers. Tim has a lovely new home and wife and it's amazing seeing this family gather and observing a new generation fill the shoes of the parents.  We love The Parker Clan.
• Opening Day at the Mariners - we love our Baseball dates!
• Quick dunk in the Arizona pool life took us to Shelbys for a movie, house hunting, maybe a job, and Urlene and I driving thru Yucca Trailer Ranch! Oh Richard did you skin your head on the bottom of the pool?!             again We love Arizona - me from afar!
• The 4th of July in Utah! Firecarackers, concerts, parades, heat and Family. and all the chaos that goes down with such am experience.  We love Austin, Anona, The girls; Sam,Cici,CharandKate, Ayris, Shawn, Megan and Amric and all their efforts to keep us all connected. 
• We got to take Sammyantha on a date to the movies and be involved in her birthday celebrations.   We love Sammantha Gene. Celebrated too with Anona where the girls and I took a special date to have our nails done.  We love Anona and I love mani pedis with my Girls.
• So excited to see Megan I miss her in the house so much.  Anona, Ayris and I went to her baby shower and dang it - we had a blast.  The boys did what? I don't remember guess they didn't have as much fun as we did!  We love the expectation of a new babygrand and Megan!!!
• This was a long date and differently done - yes, definitely together but -together separately!!! We brought home the girls! We drove with them to Amrics in Logan, they fed us breakfast and we took off for Washington.  It was amazing we stopped at rivers, we played games, we picnicked, we spent the night (in a less than Austin approved motel), we cried, we laughed, we told stories, we sang, Finally we are home.  We love HOME! We love the PNW! We loved the next few days as we spent time with and cared for our wonderful, wonderful girls.  We went to the parks, the library and spent most of our time in the swim spa!  We love our swim spa!! When Austin and Anona returned they were also on a road that would move them to San Fransisco, so they had their work ahead cut out for them. We got to have a date at Coconut Kenneys We love Pizza celebrating Austins Birthday we love Austin Eugene and then take the boat to Baker Lake. We love Baker Lake.
• We had one of our GREAT DATES when we picked up Ayris and Shawn at SEATAC and headed in to SafeCo Field to watch the Mariners retire Ken Griffey Jr. Jeannine and Robert met us there, we got to eat food in great quantities, see lots of people, be inspired with a sermon a saved preacher gave in the street and enjoy baseball PLUS it wasn't even too hot!  We love Baseball, Family and this retirement ceremony was kinda amazing.
• In and out quickly with a visit to our new City living Sobczak house in SanFran we went on a family date to the Bay, we had chowder, chocolate, and popcorn.  We had an "App" drop off your car to be parked experience in the start up city! and we took a boat ride around Alcatraz and went under the San Francisco Bridge. Richard was very impressed as was I, with the Ag representation at the Farmers Market we went to in San Mateo!   We love San Fransisco!!!
• We met Urlene and Mike and started our first double date vacation! I so hope there are more of these to come!  We drove up the coast, We saw the ocean, we walked in the sand, stretched our necks to see the seals, drove fast to beat the sunset at cannon beach, we drove alot - well Mike drove alot!, we stayed in 5 star hotels and one 1star hotel (Oh Richie we wont hold it against you)!!!, we pushed a kid out of the tillamook cheese VW bus - well i did!!!, we took in the history and sights all along the Oregon sea shore and totally enjoyed Fort Clatsop museum and the roll playing NorthWest explorer!!! We went whale watching in the San Juans and hit the bar in Edison! We lost our Anchor in Baker lake and ate with the fishes! We (the Mariners) won to Mikes (and The Rens') New York Yankees - Yes again double dating at Safeco field!!! We wined and dinned at Jorjes Kitchen, we even went to church! But mostly we chatted, watched movies, played games and hung out like we are still kids!  What an amazing couple of weeks and we were still talking when they left. We love our Friendship, kinship, childhood memories, our Rivers!, our BOOM BOOM BOOM Babys!!!  heck it's as close to family as it gets - our time with Mike and Urlene!
• We had a charitable date night in La Connor having a nice time with the work friends.  We love Northwest Farmcredit
• We completed out first 1000 piece puzzle!  We love that we CAN DO HARD THINGS!
• I had a great date with Lovena Clark. We went on a road trip to Utah for a wedding - one of my long lost students!  We talked to bears on the Rez, we saw fires along the freeway,  we picked up and lost calls from Brooke and gabbed with each other til our hearts content. It was so much fun! Even the truck stop quicky!!! Nap that is! It was great to have a better acquaintance with Trombleys and super great to see Rex and Jordan I love my seminary kids from the day We are so grateful for the youth we have been able to cross paths with.  
• In September, We separated for 6 weeks, no it was ok!! during our separation of ways we welcomed a Babygrand number 8! Colton Walker Sobczak the son of Megan and Amric.  I was there for a few days too long, I think their journal would say. But I enjoyed it so much. 1. I got to go on a date to a ridiculous movie with Amric I love my movie dates with my kids. 2. I got to spend time getting to know Megan more We love our kids' spouses From the First -Sean Larkin to the last -Megan Andersen Sobczak! 3. I had fun watching Parks 'n Rec with AandM. 4. I got to be hands on when CW came home. I love CW and his lion kid blessing father! and 4. I was able to make a couple of trips to have dates with Ayris and Shawn too! This was Ayris' 26th. We talked and bonded, although not as much as I thought since she was pregnant and forgot to even mention it and I was so worried about talking about not getting pregnant that I missed all the inspirational signs!!! But her birthday was fun Richard joined us for waffles and then we all went up for a Blessing of the Colton name (no mention of Paul Walker or even Walker Texas Ranger was involved)!!!  We love Colton and welcome him to our craZy family. 5. I reread the Book of Mormon throughout in 6 weeks with only the result of better understanding it was actually fun to read without stopping to study or pick it apart. We love the Book of Mormon.
• also during this 6 weeks Richard needed alone time to spend 300 hours writing a report to get his MAI.  We love furthering our Education! Certification and skills in the work force.
• On our return we stopped off for a game of golf in Az, Richard needs his sun! After arriving back in my beautiful Washington we hit Hwy 20 for another beautiful fall turned winter turned back to fall drive to Lake Chelan and around to Marilyns for a good long over due visit. We love Marilyn, Keagan and Theo. This was really more than one date! We love dating!
• In November Richard went to see the Larkin Clan while I had mouth surgery and caught up on some family history. We love Family History. Richard had such a great visit with and We Love Vaughn, Pax and Gage. We surely did miss the summer visit that Vaughn has had every summer since he was born up until 2016! We love Larkin Summer Vacations at our house. Richard finished up his MAI testing and now we wait. Not sure I can say We love waiting! Nope can't do it!!!  While there he had the opportunity to race around a speedway at 200mph on a 1.5 mile track with a 24 degree bank, maybe it was 100mph and in a van - you know me I like to make the story more fun!!! We love Stories!!! He loves going and doing craZy stuff!
• It's November we are having an empty-nester Thanksgiving. Wait!! Ayris and Shawn surprise us for a quick two day double date.  It was amazing and they brought news! They bring us number 9 on the babygrand train! We are so happy for them. We love our BabyGrands!  Our Thanksgiving was spent a few days early with appetizer tacos, rotisserie chicken and cranberrys! Oh and of course Pumpkin Pie!  We love our tradition of "Hello Vy this is Sy"!  We love traditions! Thanks you guys for surprising us so much this year We love surprises!
• We love Hockey Dates with friends!
• This year I have worked to get rid of extra sentimental things so they don't get lost in my house. In so doing I started making quilts for family. I'm really terrible at it, my mom would not be impressed. But my love and intent is sincere and meant to create links from the past to the present. We love connections to family.
• We grabbed a really quick weekend to the city life and were able to set up the Christmas tree and wrap present with Our San Fransisicans. What an especially lovely and fun way to start off our holiday season attending a concert presentation with Anona in a community choir singing lots of diverse Christmas Music. We love Anona! It was nice to have time at church and a date with Austin at a awesome little movie house sorta place that served a great burger! We went to the zoo and walked and walked and walked. We saw the bears search for fish and the lions sleep. The zoo is a great way to spend time with family. We sat in line for 30 min just to eat an In and Out Burger - WOW! we must love Burgers! 
• Our last date was to a Church Christmas Party I've already mentioned this so I will just say here that We love our Church Family and connections like this are hard to find and hard to beat at the same time. We love being involved in our Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints community and culture and hope to Bring Light into your World and ours by being and getting involved with each other. Be kind. Be Aware. Remember who you are and Let Your Light So Shine.

Christmas is right around the corner for 2016 Make it good, Find Happiness. look for and remember the reason that it is celebrated. That reason tends to get lost in the hub-bub. My thought this year is 'He' had to be quite the person to have His birthday still celebrated so many years later and by so many.  My love to you all, my wish that you Celebrate as if this Christmas were your last, no regrets, leave joy for all - Make it one to Remember, One that you love. 

• Christmas was awesome! SO SO grateful. BLESSINGS abound. Ayris, Shawn, Amric, Megan, Colton, Aunt Marilyn, Gramma, Richard, myself food, visits, Pjs and more it was one for the books. Missing Austin his family and Apryl with hers. What a blessing it is to be able to talk to my Georgia nephew and nieces and their families. God Bless to the Rens. Many hugs to those out there in this craZy world I love you.  
• thank you Heavenly Father for health, warmth and salute! to the New Year!
• Happiness in 2017

Don't waste time being offended

A deep thought for those I love in a world of taking offense and darkness... One time when AZ (he's my youngest son) was a few months old my brother, my oldest brother Tim shook him unnecessarily screaming in his face and then laughed.  Lets be clear he did this just for the hell of it! He'd been drinking as usual. I took my baby away from him, I yelled at him and we all sat back down to visit.  Later Timmy apologized picked up AZ and did it again! That night my other brother, Tom (I call my little brother he's seven years older than me) slept on the floor by my daughter AA  who was sleeping on the couch, he did so with a gun in his hand --  I'm only assuming that it was because he was afraid of what might happen. My point here is I was offended I was so offended that I didn't speak to my brother Tim for 10 years.  My brother Timmy never shook me or struck me, I admired him and looked up to him so much. He was fun, funny, loving, he told the best stories, he had the best laugh, he could be kind generous and hilarious. He was a great worker. A soldier to be proud of.  He loved carpentery work and brick work.  When he came home from Panama I didn't think there was anything in the world better or cooler than Tim Michael McCoy my brother a green beret!  Don't get me wrong he could scare the crap out of me he had serious PTSD when he came home from Vietnam and he drank way too much! But I regress, Back to my point I was offended And because of that wasted 10 years of not talking to him. While social media allows us to all get to know each other and be closer we can also be offended. While friends, family, neighbors think other friends family and neighbors don't live life right or are not doing whatever they think they should be doing one can be offended. I just want to take this opportunity to encourage us not to be offended.  To let ya'll in on a little secret I don't use or appreciate the Fword, I don't like porn, I don't like some politics, I dont care for some of the memes that get posted!!!  But if I'm friends with you on social media its for a reason maybe I admire you, or I really am interested in your outlook on life, maybe I love you, I love your kids and I love being able to see you through the marvelous invention of technology. I don't know why I didn't get to know some of you better than others of you but another little secret - I'm not deleting you. I'm not walking away offended!   Everyday and every night I pray for good things to happen in your lives and for you to like yourselves and be your best selves to and for those you have in your family here and now.  Start now to Not be on the defense always being offending, putting up walls, blocking interaction, connections we all need! Choose instead to Be Positive, no regrets of 10 years that you will never ever get back being offended. I do what I can when I can to support you and know you with what is available to me. This world teaches us to be offended let's choose to not be. I should have told Timmy "you're an idiot" and moved on versus my choice of being prideful and holding a grudge only making Me jaded and dark.   I love my brother and I miss him.  #spreadthelove #standtall #volunteerPTSD #findjoy #LightTheWorld #dontBeOffended #beforgiving #usewisejudment #lovetheoneyourwith #dontJudge #familiesareforever #peaceout

My Happiness Project

Return and Report!

These are my 5 Strengths, I would also refer to them as my strongest weaknesses!

My Friend Urlene and I started a smash book to record and document to make a fun place to see our progress our resolve to dig in to My Happiness Project.  She told me about Gretchen Rubin and her books and I fell hard!  Urlene loves me and so she indulged me setting up these books of ours my last visit to Arizona, you should have seen us, it was quite a mess both the room and us!! I was enlightened to see how much she cared about me, this isn't something she wanted to do! I watched her work at it staying there processing this project idea, I want her to know I appreciated that she did this with me - I don't know how I would have started it without her.
Solitude is a weird thing, I've had my share of it these last 3 years, done some serious soul searching.  These books of GR are amazing and fit to my personality I can relate to her so much, anyway ... Because I'm not a reader, if you know me - you know that, it jumps out at me that I can attempt to use her pattern and find my Happiness, my purpose added to and upon the things I've been taught, my upraising and my current emptynester status.  This list is the first of the things I want to learn about, character traits I want to develop, and the person I want to find down deep within.

and this is where I start.
What is a Patriarchal Blessing?   https://www.lds.org/topics/patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng

The #4spendidtruths These are from her Book(s) and she talks about them in her YouTube videos http://gretchenrubin.com/ this is a great place to go and learn from her

My inspiration comes when I'm reading from The Light of Scriptures

Ok so I don't have my own 12 commandments yet these are Gretchen's http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2009/09/twelve-commandments-of-happiness/

I hope to have my own 12 commandments at the end of this project.  After completing my first month (Nov and Dec of this year are going now to be considered my practice months!!) I think one of my commandments will be Don't Give Up, if you didn't write yesterday write today. Writing, Logging, recording, documenting somehow some way will help me not give up.

I just like this paper! It will have a cool picture on it before this is over!!!

I love her #SecretsofAdulthood
I will apply these and read them often.  I have added to this page the following list for my secrets of Adulthood.  

1. Pray everyday everyday everyday Pray asking what should I pray about! Pray for my kids!
2. Move the Body!
3. Minimize time screen time - evaluate daily
4. remember mom taught me to write thank you cards  - Say Thank you everyday.
5. Spend Time Outside make myself go outside everyday everyday everyday
6. Unplug  (I don't know how long yet but I know everyday everyday everyday that I need to)
7. Do service and this doesn't count my chores!
8. Have a good clean joyful laugh (this one is hers, but I like it I don't know how to do it)
9. Use your talents always searching and maybe adding new ones
10. Live with who I am sleepwise be productive
11. Don't look back longingly
12. Read more Learn more Apply knowledge

This is a great guideline for Happiness also
Proverbs 31:10-31 I want to be that woman

The first 2 practice months and first 4 months
 Main Resolution with subgoals

the next 8 months FamilyisForever Nov and Peace Dec.

So Stay tune and I shall return and report my progress of #MyHappinessProject the coming of self.

An "A ha Moment"

Have you ever had that "Ahh Ahh Moment?

One day this fall I had one and I feel inspired to document it - I have felt so for a few weeks and just not done it.

Their have been people in my life that have come and gone.  Death is a thing; full of angst and sometimes it just pops up out of know where, I guess it will forever.  Of this I know of.
  
It is kind of the same when you loose someone and keep wanting to see them and you do everything you can and it just doesn't work out, the anxieties start all over again.

I was in Salt Lake driving around the city.  I knew not to even drive by his house. I respect his privacy, I do.   So I drove on, only letting him know I was in town.

Side note:
My older brother would go for years without checking in.  When he would call he would say to my mom; "no News is good news" and laugh while she cried.  Maybe he hurt when he checked in? I know he always said it was easier for his kids if he just stayed away. I always thought his way of thinking was skewed but maybe it left me with a more open mind and heart with better understanding now. 

Then on another occasion, a few weeks later driving thru Salt Lake on the freeway going North, it happened;  I had that "A ha Moment"!!!     "It hurts him to see you, cuz it brings it all to the surface. It's not that he doesn't care he just can't go there, not now."
Literally those words in my head, and I understood better why and because I love him I have stepped back making an effort to let go more.  He knows me, he knows where I am if ever he wants to talk or needs a hug.

Life is hard out there - we need people!

#GoodTimes 

Oh I heard you!

August 1, 2016


I'm not here to float along
behind you - I'm just not.

Yes I fear, I am drowning!

There is no more float.

Throwdown Meltdown
Get Up Get Down

Voices coming from?

Positive negative; mom,You, me?
I want my own echo.

Choices - you can't make it for me

Battles within mine
so sick of it all I choose

Choose what Submission

Pray, Pray to who asking for what?

What matters ya'll get your way anyway!

Do I Submit.
Am I Selfish? or Empathetic?
An enabler or Sympathetic?
more like Pathetic!

Find myself Know my heart.
For goodness sake

Be satisfied.
with what?
with who?

I want happiness.

To know a smile.

To laugh, I used to laugh, where has it gone?
I'm jaded and alone
I need to FEEL again.

To make a choice without hesitation
without fear.

Fear of disappointment 

Fear of rejection

Fear of failure
Have faith you say
Have hope I pray
My sincere desire is eternal life
with the Love of Family and God
and self
Love In my own heart.
It's trust
I seek
and peace.
It takes two to not drown.
There is an undercurrent happening
a constant silent conversation going on.
There is white water all around.



It needs work but it's a ruff draft~
isn't that life? a ruff draft
I hope I get to edit and update in the eternities!!!