31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 1991

I don't think I could have crammed more into this Christmas Letter!

the print is so small - sorry It's as big as I can make it here ...

Tim's kids...Nikki, Tim and Ashley
at the grave of Tim Michael and Michael Wayne

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 1982

Apryl in the front seat of the Gremlin on the way to Arizona Temple to be Sealed to her Parents!               

Kelly, Apryl, Olaf, Matthew, Richard, Sharon

Crater Lake, Elder Allen, Brian & Alicia, Kel & Vic, Kelly & April

Apryl, Richard, Sis, Olaf, Matthew

Christmas 1982 Sis, Dad, Matthew, Olaf,  Apryl, Socks

Wade, Vickie, Kelly, Apryl Ann

Douglas Arizona!

Tim Michael, Matthew, Olaf, Iris, Judyann Kelly, Apryl

Richard & Apryl (Temple Square SLC), Uncle Otis, Aund Audruff, Kelly & Apryl

Richard, Apryl, Otis, The Bed!, Hoover Dam

Father and Son Timmy's Perspective

Daddy

I had a dad,
For this I am glad.
     I didn't know him well,
     so there's not much to tell.
His life was often rough,
because of this he was so gruff.
     He had kids and a wife,
     All he cared for in his life.
If there was a fight,
He could throw his might.
     With a two by four and more -
     I have seen him show that power.
He gave his kids a home,
so they wouldn't be alone.
     In Him, He had love,
     held tight like a glove.
He would drink a beer or a shot,
didn't think a lot was too hot!
     Many friends he had,
     though some thought Him bad.
He wore boots, and a hat,
When younger chaps shaped like a bat.
     Around the race courses
     He loved to watch the horses.
He was many things this man
but never completely tan!
     He would never put his hat on the bed,
     for it was always on His head.
But now he's gone home....
Never more to roam....
    He is laying on the bed,
    Yes, My Daddy's dead.

Tim M McCoy
son of
Tim McCoy
Jan 1986

Dear Son...

Yes, dear  Son, your Daddy's dead.

Here now are some things he  said:

"I love every daughter and son,

and the Grandkids, each special one.

Then there's the ones who joined our tribe

to live with our kids, side by side.

Always I wished only to do

what was best for all of you.

I was too dumb to think and plan,

Usually failed to be a man.

Too late now to show how I cared,

and enjoy the life we all shared.

Please tell all the kids, to try hard

to not allow their lives to be scarred

by the things I did or didn't do,

but live their lives to not have to 

regret their acts, or their thought.

But look ahead to changes brought

about by the course  in life taken, 

by habits that need to be forsaken.

To show their love, declare their pride

and not those feelings try to hide.

For me the end of life is near

and death itself I do not fear.

If God be just, merciful, kind,

He knows what's in my heart and mind.

If there really be another life,

I hope to be with kids and wife.

Goodbye to all, remember me,

As the man I wanted to be."

Yes, dear Son, your Daddy's dead,

and of all the many thing he said,

None so important and so true

As the simple phrase, "I love you".

Iris McCoy

The Mom

Jan 1986

I am grateful for T - T's

you know what I like about blogging vs handwritten journals? I can update them within themselves! originally posted 12 nov. 2012 updated 14 April 2016 still grateful for the T!

Tim Michael the 4th let's say playing Taps (grateful for the T) for his Grandpa McCoy when he died.

Tom! (a pic not shared so much!)

Sis Mom and Timmy

Mesa Arizona Temple

Tyler and Myself SeatacAirport

There are so many T's to be grateful for just to name a few; Temple, Testimony, right off the top - but then there is Timmy - well all the Tim's in my life (I count several in my head right now), Tom, Tyler, thermostats to keep my house cool and warm, toilets (gotta have a toilet), tangerines maybe one of the few fruits I enjoy, Tenacity,  Thrift (of which I do not engage well!), tinsel, transportation (totally thankful to have a car), Ticket to Ride, trials, oh I could go on and on with the letter T but then T's is a word in it's self - right?  So I'm going with my favorite T = T-Shirts!

I love them so much I wear one every day! Mine are so worn they can't be made into a quilt but everyone else in the family has there T's made into a quilt to keep them warm so they can wear them more than one at a time!! (and of course remember me!)

Just for an example and I love love love my Camp shirts I wear them all the time everywhere!  In fact one day when Samantha was here I went outside and she asked me why I had my pajama shirt on?  Whatever I use my Camp shirts!!!!

This TShirt Idea turned into  a camp shirt

This TShirt supported a tragedy; a mudslide in Oso Washington
 where many people lost there lives and hundreds gave service in a time of need Mar 2014

Tim and his Poetry

I'm laying here in bed

Wondering what's in my head

Wondering if its very dull

just laying inside of a skull

Forever being a brain

always staying out of the rain

calling this my home

surrounded by fragile bone

It's nice to have no fear

because I can't hear

Just to be

because I can't see

But I would like to feel the rain

to see a train

to hear a song

just to belong

I would like to be outside

not to have to hide

wanting to, but unable to run

but wait, here is help, here's a gun

Sitting here on my ceramic throne
there is something that I hear
almost silently there is a drone 
yes, It's the air conditioner!
In the summer and the heat
the air conditioner is so cool
but now sitting on my seat
It's winter and I feel a fool!

I 



It's very hard to sleep

When all you want to do is weep

To weep for my wife

the spice in my life

crying out for sun

when day is done

for the moon at night

when I'm filled with fright

I set with my head in my hand

dreaming of roaming the land

seeing what the wind brings

hearing how it sings

curled in a ball

asleep not at all

yes it's hard to sleep

when all you can do is weep :(

They say life is brief

All filled with grief

that is not my belief

To laugh cry or shout

To stand or jump about

To Give Grief The Rout

To let unhappiness fly

to see the blue of the sky

to let cheer and joy rise high

For love to receive

for lost time to grieve

in these I believe

They have stolen time
times that was mine
the cause was not right
not in my sight

Seven long years
years with many tears
tears shed alone
in prison my home

Rampant runs the hate
caring not for my fate
to steal their time -
is revenge a crime?







There is a softness as I listen
the ground seems to listen
as I look out the window at night
cowering behind the Glass with fright

the moon is dull and has a halo
Nothing is seen to make me mello
I can hear the wind blowing
With a sigh I realize it's only snowing!







Have a shaft or be flat
I can be long or thin
folded or switched to win
I can be curved or straight
used with Love or Hate
I can take or give life
I am a knife

Tim McCoy 1985

We called him CAPTAIN

A Different kind of Euthanasia

     "The pain is intense, please help me die."  cries out John.  The 3 people gathered around him all started thinking about whether or not hey should fill this request.  They all have questions about their right to assist this person to die and in one way or another they are all thinking thee thoughts about this death: how soon will he die without help; if I were in his position would I want to die; and how will his living or dieing affect my life and the lives of others?

     It was apparent that John was in intense pain.  He had a serious head wound, a sucking chest wound, and several other flesh wounds, his limbs disfigured.  It was apparent that without extensive and prompt medical help he would bleed to death within sixty minutes.  The consensus was to let nature take her natural couse.

     No one really deres to live with multiple disfigurements  but many do and very happily after the pain is over and the bill are paid.  All three decided that they would want to live if they were in his position.

     They all three decided that there were too many ways that killing him would affect their lives.  The guilty conscience they could have saved him, having to tell his family how he dies, and losing a good buddy.

     In conclusion, after 15 minutes of discussion, they all agreed that in a normal situation, euthanasia, or mercy killing John at his request was not a civilized thing to do; however this was not a normal situation, they were running from Charlie.  They killed him because their survival depended on it, and he was dead anyway.

Tim M. McCoy

No longer silent

Inside these prison walls,

along corridors of steel

with silent echos in the halls

are men of emotion who must not feel.

Men who must harden their hearts

who cannot afford to weep

Keeping body and soul in different parts

so they can their sanity keep.

Men in brown with flashlights bright

shine their light into taring eyes,

eyes wide open dreaming of flight.

Eyes wide open, screaming silent cries.

Are all responsibilities of the moralist ended?

Will "We the People" continue beaming?

Will confining injustice remain untended?

When no longer silent is the screaming!

Tim McCoy

1987