I "POaST" about my Life --- 1966 ...

We are who we are!

for an activity mom sent this for the class to guess who I am 

I loved these friends! I can still name most of them!

4th grade

I don't have a picture but this year Urlene did some Baton twirling and wore costumes and everything!!! She went to Flagstaff with Jim and Beverly for the 4th of July 

We moved!  across the road into a Big Trailer!  10x 50 - SPACIOUS!!!! My "Home" til I married!

Tom in our new yard! NOTE - IRONED White shirt and Wranglers standard.
I was the girl at home doing the ironing, wash and cleaning house!!!

Timmy and Kathy are married

Judyann Shovels snow at Aunt Els

She had surgery and the removed her thyroid, meds for life now.  I love my sister.  I follow her everywhere that she will let me!  I love her life and all the friends and "fun times" that she has.  I want that too.  She has a real life.

Tom Rodeo

July 1966 I went to stay with my Grandma in Blanding Utah.  My mom was sick so I kinda was "sent away", but I loved going there.  I loved being with Grandma and Grandpa Lyman in there little house and going to all the Blanding events.  I loved my cousins and especially spending time at the Smiths'.  Donna took me to the pool. Ned went hiking with me and taught me how to play chess.  We went to parades and tried to catch greaseeee pigs and slid down the flag pole all greaseeee!  I also liked to go to Aunt Maryanns; I loved spending time with Lynda, Lisa and Leslie!!!  We worked in the garden and home made bottled root beer!  It was awesome to go there.  But I did always miss Mom and the family!  Mom writes me letters telling me to find a ride to salt lake if I want to go see Aunt El and that if she can't find me a ride home I need to ask around if anyone is going to mesa (really? I'm 9!).  Aunt El writes me letters here and worries about me all the time, I love her.  She counsels me to "Be happy, cheerful and pleasant and Remember your prayers and be thankful for loved ones and all you have. I do love you and pray that you may always be a good girl."

the drive thru monument valley and indian country was long and hot very dry but the colors were fascinating to me and the new pick up trucks and bags of government food left on the door steps very confusing.  I remember always asking why do they have new trucks if they have to be given bags of food!!!!

This is Tami Lea
we went to visit Grandma Gladys and Grandpa Lyman in Blanding with the new McCoys!
Sept. 1966   -   it was a SUPER trip with fun memories.  Permission was given for Timmy to adopt Tami by Jim White.

The birth of Michael Wayne McCoy to Kathy and Timmy was tragic. He lived only a few hours. 
Oct 1966  The story is he asked for help from the Church and no one showed. It was yet another step on his ladder of bitterness and a jaded attitude toward goodness and light.

as for favorites --

Ricky hamilton, Linda Stahl, Brandon McQueen we used to play like we were "The Monkees"  

My sister and her friend who is also like a sister Marcia Cosentino are now going to Young Arizona for the "good times".  Sometimes she takes me.  I love it when she takes me places with her.  She is way too much fun!!!

For FHE we did a test to see if everyone knew each other very well...
Daddy favorite color - red
favorite food - steak
favorite TV program - Whats My Line?
favorite sport or game - Horse races (who knew!)
favorite song - How Many
Favorite Bible Story - Moe (I'm supposing that is Moses!)
Favorite friend - Richard
Tom favorite color - Turquoise Blue
favorite food - steak
favorite TV program - Virginia
favorite sport or game - Wrestling   Favorite Song - Wayword Winds Favorite Bible Story - David and Goliath 
Kelly Sue Red, Chicken Noodle Soup, Munsters, Casper, Joseph Smith First Prayer, Daniel, Urlene!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SaeWh3h8Fg

If you are still here I will add these two stories of the 4th grade. I loved Mrs. Hunsaker she was my teacher.  I remember that I thought she cared about me, she taught me life lessons about race, religion and education.  

• One time (I don't know what I did) she slapped my hands with the yard stick and the yard stick broke.  So she made me stand in front of the class with glue and rubberbands holding the yard stick - the attempt I guess was to put the yard stick back together.  It was super embarrassing to stand for the rest of the day in front of the class trying to hold that yard stick together. With a most outrageous punishment like this the person does not remember what was done but only the punishment.  
• Another time I had been watching The Dating Game the girl asks 3 bachelors questions and then picks one to go out on a date with.  I Loved this show! Well one day Greg did something to me on the play ground I obviously didn't approve of and I called him a bastard, I seriously thought I was saying bachelor. I probably  heard this name around the house somewhere (the language did get colorful at times)! Anyway...Mrs. Hunsaker heard me and took me to the janitors room made me bite into the bar of soap that was sitting on the sink and washed my "bad bad mouth and all the naughty words away".  Needless to say I know the difference between the two words now and refrain from using either as much as possible!  

I'll record this story here, but I believe it to be the next school year, my brother Timmy came home from Vietnam and was in Georgia our story that we got was "he stopped at a stop sign and big black men pulled him from his car and beat the hell out of him".  I told Mrs. Hunsaker and she seemed to imply thats how "they are".  I was horrified, my friends Greg and Annette and Clarence were black and all I could think was 'they aren't mean just because they are black - that is ridiculous". 

I remember loosing confidence in her and didn't go to her for counsel any more.

Affection 101

As a child what do you remember about affection in your home?

One thing I know and that is - I was RAISED TO BE A "McCoy!" and that meant tuff, resolved, resilient, work hard, Use it up, make it do or do with out kind of girl!!!  Not to much affection, patience or need for worldly things.

My dad was not affectionate he was a cowboy. Don't touch his hat that's for sure! As a teenager though when he was in a good mood (I think cuz he was getting older and mellowing) I'd sit on his lap and rub his bald head and tell him about my week trying out my sarcasm.  I'd say "dad don't cuss at me you'll give me a complex and he'd say I'll give you a duplex!"- guess you had to be there!!! Then he'd laugh and say he was going to "put his boot where the sun don't shine"- I knew that meant that he loved me, but he never said it, not until I was 18 and moving away from home - he had taken me to KFC for dinner on Apache blvd that night! A bittersweet memory for sure.  My Daddy kept me from the cowboys and protected me from a world of disorder.  In some weird way he taught me to respect and honor my mom in a way that to this day I can't explain.  For I do know that they loved each other.  That they made a commitment to each other and they stuck to it with all their differences and there were many.

What are those ridiculous glasses mom!

Mom and I were huggers. Lots of hugs always!  Happy, sad we were hugging. She liked to have her hair combed and her head scratched with a rat tail comb. Most often I would do this for her because I loved her and knew that she liked it, but sometimes I resented it cuz I felt like I did and did and did for her without her recognizing it. Me recognizing now, as an adult how much she did and did for me, me not appreciating it then. Some of my favorite memories are laying by her in bed after prayers and talking ourselves to sleep about our day or our dreams.  My mom and I had a rare Mother /Daughter relationship we were truly best friends, but I knew my role and I knew hers somehow she knew how to do it and still be my Mother.  Parenting is a crazy thing and not really learned til it's over unfortunately!!!  I thank God my mom and Dad sacrificed their relationship (as I see it now) for me to be raised the way I was. 

And thus we see:  

Save a girl save a generation!  and my parents saved me, if from nothing else from myself.  Look for someone to marry that isn't the parent you were missing!  I always dated boys that I can see now were "father figures" discipliners and gave affection, both  character  traits I needed and missed out from my father.  I also thought the mom ran things in the house and the dad protected his job and did everything he could to provide, even if that meant never being home.  AND THUS WE SEE; marriage has been hard for me but from them I did learn I made a commitment and I'm sticking with it with all our differences and there are many!!!!  

But it helps that I married my mom and not my Dad!!! And that it always ALWAYS takes two to show affection!

Discipline 101

Part 2 learning from Ayris and her college interviews!!!

It is said that My Father hit my older siblings. I am the baby so it is said that he had mellowed by the time I got there. Stories are told of him hitting with anything laying around, belts, belt buckles, sticks, long wild grass, bailing wire and bobbed wire in one case!

A few times My Mother spanked, shook, grounded, glared, but more often she guilted! Then there is when she threatened with "when father gets home" but mostly she taught - lots of [at the time I thought lectures] words and many many prayers for the sake of children.

The reality of it is;
Ok so as I ponder this topic I can't and I have search my brain for times I remember being disciplined by my father. My siblings told horror stories of being hit as they grew up but I only remember being scared of him. We moved to Arizona when I was 4 I have no memories of daddy disciplining me there at that home front! I have good memories spending time with him herding sheep, walking on the canal and with the dogs and horses - no hitting or even seeing anyone be hit! Weird I never thought about it like that before til right now. After we moved to Arizona it was the threat of daddy coming home and hitting me that kept me inline!! I can remember hiding in a tree scared he was going to hit me for my grades suffering in school. I had a fear of my father that I always referred to as respect.

Mom on the other hand! I have no memories of in Colorado nothing I cannot find her there in my mind.  Maybe once hiding from her in the asparagus plants in a ditch in front of the house??? After we moved to Arizona she was the "hands on" parent (let me insert right here i got nothing from her that I didn't deserve!) she grounded me from the phone, from going places, she left a chore list of things for me to do everyday when she left for work, I was a "latch key" child no friends allowed over while she was at work. I had one older brother still in high school who was around in the mornings before school and then I was on my own, mom came home for lunch for an hour everyday and I was to have lunch ready. We watched "As the world turns" or "Guiding Light" depending on which hour she came home - we ate on TV trays and visited while eating our lunch. I got graded on my chores and given more. I believe (now) this was not only to discipline me but to teach me to work, keep me out of trouble and to help her keep up with the house work!!!
And thus we see- I only do chores when nobody is home. When people are here I like to do things with them! and I believe I know how to work and taught my children to know how to work! one can only hope!!!

Examples of her discipline:
Once I stole a watch at the dime store downtown (yes I am old enough to refer to a store as a "dime store") I might have been 8 maybe younger, mom was so mad at me I remember her scolding me on the side walk in front of the store.  It was a little kid watch in the toy  section, I had taken it out of the package left the package there and stuck it in my pants, it fell down thru the leg and out on the sidewalk as we left the store! What I really remember is her teaching me was that it was not honest and making me walk back in there give the lady the watch and say I was sorry - horribly embarrassed even at a young age.
And thus we see; Honesty is the best policy.  Discipline taught in action is remembered, let the action be calm, controlled and let the child be involved and not stuck in a corner or beaten.

It looked like this only WHITE!

One Wednesday night when I was suppose to be at mutual I went off with some friends, a group of us.  we were in Jim's car we drove around town went to Jack in the Box nothing evil or crazy, but I lied about where I was,  obviously.
When I got home my mom had already heard I wasn't at the church. She grabbed me out of that car and started spanking me and grabbed my two arms pulling them by the elbows behind me as she kicked my butt with her knees walking me into the house. She was out of control and embarrassed me so much, I didn't learn anything from that except for how uncool my mom was!
And thus we see: well you get it.  Stay incontrol. Don't lie to your parents.