Mesa Third Ward Reunites

#Perspective #Roots #Family #Time #Closure

And Not One Picture! (Really? me! the queen of pictures from the past!)

Thoughts on seeing, hugging and reuniting with friends from the past....

Pre - anxiety, fear and excitement - joy if you will...

But more than that, (believe me or I wouldn't have showed up) is the "feeling", the feeling I remember of being there in that building WITH them.  I lived in this ward boundary and attended church with these people for over half of my life (as of now!) and maybe especially because we have moved so much since we have been married I am overwhelmed with
love and desire to be there, to see them.
The feeling that the past is the past and for good or bad these are my people and that I accept them now and forever (of course should mean that they in turn will accept me)!!!

side notes...

I met at Urlene and Mikes we talked and talked and talked.  Amazing how without seeing each other for so long we can just pick right back up. I love her! We talked so long our husbands were very bored with the same stories and not that impressed with the fond memories of past boyfriends, memories of 3rd ward and family - Funny the different perspectives!

At the reunion...Lyle ask me if I remembered all the pictures of the Bishops on the wall in the Bishops office? I answered without a thought "Yes indeed I was in there alot"!  

I really missed the sliding glass doors to the overflow!  You know I was married in that chapel and had my reception in that cultural hall.

I Had a great conversation with Sister Willis. See I still say "Sister" my mom demanded respect that way - no one (well except Betty) was ever called by their first name. Still to this day it's hard for me to call people by their first name!!!

It was so cool to just "chat" with old friends. To hug the boy I sent on a mission. To hear the voices of leaders. To see adults that were children I taught and babysat. To see Tyson and meet his son. To know that life moves on lives and families are created and to be reminded that without the atonement life would be harder, uglier and less successful, joyful complete.

Back to my thoughts on the reunion...

I wanted so badly to see them all (this village that helped raise me) and "feel" something.  I wanted that so much that I paid lots of money to fly across the states to spend an hour and a half in their presence.  I'm not saying that every memory I had there is a good one, but because of them I am who I am. 
I have none of my immediate "growing up" family left, so I think that my association here is needed that "these are my people" these "are my roots" and yes I indeed believe that what I have in these relationships is family; the Parent figures; Harvey and Betty Green, Sophie and Lloyd Harper, Betty and Stan Abbott, Corrine and Fred Dewitt, Brenda and Terry Reed, and Liana Willis,  these are they who along with Bishop Watson, and Bishop and Toni Brown, Ella O'loughlin and Mary Jepson(who have all moved on to a better world) well, these are they who raised me.  So yes to go to a ward reunion for me was a "Family Reunion". 
With those parental figures also comes all the "siblings" - Urlene, Susan, Lyle, Sheila, Debbie, Jane, Renee, Valerie, Julie, April, Rhea, Terry, Bobby, Eldon, Mark, Andra, Tanya, Richard, Elmers, Tyson, Stacy, Tera, Marion, Taun the Jensens, the browns, the Flakes, The Sanchez, The Starks, The Abbotts, Ronnie, Timmy, Kristen, Tom, The Farnsworths, The Rowleys, Brother Ball!!!.... just to name a few who each one in one way or another had something to do with who I am today.  
Then the only "blood family" I have there in Arizona; Matthew and Olaf - I was SUPER blessed they showed up ... we are all of the "McCoy Clan" since 1961 that is left to REPRESENT at the Mesa Third Ward reunion. My sister had ties there and brought her sons up always including them in the Third Ward from blessings and baptism to friendships and campouts.
Which brings me to Iris!!!  WOW! As I looked around the room and silently remembered the people, the experiences, the building, that room and that stage, the pictures and slide show and comments... Mom you were woven in that tapestry inside and out. I couldn't see anyone that you didn't affect the life of in one way or another. I saw People that you raised.  People that you taught. People that you served with. Thank you mom for being my strongest root, my beacon in a storm. You Mom, were the light and example for me and so many others.  From Relief Society to Primary. From Young Women to Ward Camp Outs. Come Hell or High Water you were there to serve and support all of us. I watched that! I observed you in your actions of; "Observe and then Serve" way before it was "popular"!!  From you I learned so many many things and I can honestly say; 
"My Mother Taught me".  I'm sure many there the 25th day of October 2014 could have said the same.  You were indeed missed.  I felt your presence your arms around us, your unconditional love right there in that big hall on that evening.

Post - peace, closure, gratitude, joy in remembrance...

it was more about the people than the building, (I guess it does help to have the village!!) it is feelings and the bonds felt therein.  It was the traditions. The Unity. It was the Things our Mothers taught us, remembered with love, woven into it all was the Gospel that was felt, testified to and taught there.  

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!!

I POaST about my life ... FRIENDS ... 1973 - 1975

 Friends are angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly...

Susan Draper
The summer before 10th grade Susan and I hung out at camp. She is a doll. 3 years older and 2 years ahead of me in school. She collected Frogs, kinda drove us all nuts!  She had the funniest giggle and full of life. We were together all the time that year - every where one went the other was sure to follow.  1976 we went to BYU together it was a blast.  We moved into a apartment complex as soon as we got there we found out it was girls only and we packed up and moved out just that fast!!! We went to Roman Gardens to live and so goes my college years.  But not hers, we hadn't been there a whole semester, I don't think and Lyle Harper showed up and enticed her back to Arizona they got married the next semester - March of 1977.  I was at BYU but Glenn drove me down and was able to stand with her as they took their vows! It was a great day.  I was and am so happy for both of them, both of them good friends of a life time.

Gaylun Smith and Danny Bang were best friends. I'm sure Hanging with Susan and Kristine had something to do with me also attempting to get to know these boys better!  I wrote him a note once told him "your in good hands" thinking he was going to like Susan and they (Danny and Susan and the like)  called him ALL STATE for awhile after that - I was so embarrassed!  Gaylun asked me to go to prom I was only 15, at first mom told me I could go and then she reconsidered and said I couldn't go.  When I told him at the last min he was pretty mad and that was the end of that!

Ricky Hamilton his grandmother ran the trailer park
 we all played together he was a fun kid.  We used to have rock bands together.  His grandma taught me how to write a check.  Mom would send me to pay the rent I didn't know how, Ruby Ratliff taught we.

Jackie Cook went school with us 9th and half of 10th grade
She was super fun and very nice,
She is Janes Cousin and we all got along very well.

I don't have a picture of Mark Carpenter but I had a talk with him that always and still sticks with me.  We talked about the gospel a few times.  We both "wanted" to be good, to go to church to "choose the right".  But doing that was a hard choice for both of us.  One day he said to me (from my journal I write); "It's like this Kel I'm young I'm in High School I am just going to choose to do what I want for now and be Jo Smith latter in life when it's time to go on a mission or something".  I myself KellySue I don't what to think of life like this, it seems willful and like you could get yourself into lots of trouble saying that right up front. At lest I don't want to be bad I just can't help myself. I need to just make better choices, make my mind up before the bad stuff happens. I'm going to try harder to keep myself out of trouble."

Jane Hatchcock went to church with me and school. I have mentioned her often.  I loved going to her house. Except the cats - she always had cats and new kittens!
She didn't get in my way and I didn't get in hers.
(I laugh at these journal entry comments describing my friends back then!)
We were very close and got along very well. On our senior trip to Disney Land we were together all the time, we had a blast!!!  I loved her ...especially in the 9th grade, her support and leadership skills were always an example to me, always.

Kristine Lewis she lived in my ward.  She and Susan were best friends, somehow I got to hang out with them upon entering High School.  I admired and wanted to be with that older group in my ward REAL bad. She worked at the Drive-Inn, we used to always go to see her - she was a great girl friend.  Her Dad, George Lewis worked with my mom! Her step mom was kinda - weird! Kristine got married Oct 24, 1975 I was happy to be one of her bridesmaids Susan was her maid of honor.

Bobby and I were always great friends. He and I were in the same ward for as long as I can remember.  He was always a good and honest friend to me. We went to grade school, Jr. High and High School together. He wasn't terribly active as far as church stuff goes though in our High School years he started coming to church. Which we all thought that was fantastic.  I don't know why, but we always understood each other.  We had some of the same kind of experiences in life that we shared with each other and we had some good talks about life.

Urlene next door neighbors for more than a life time.  We always told people we were sisters and when we were mad and denied it nobody believed us! We really were the best of friends. I always thought that something happened when she started dateing Ray and I started dating Terry that made her mad at me.  She went to Farmington and I moved away too.  When she met and married Mike I came home from California to be at her wedding, I can't say that I wasn't sad and disappointed to not stand up with her to be married, but I was really grateful to get off work and be there to see her get married.  She is beautiful people.

 

 the Saturday before Terry left we all went shooting out in the desert and of course Terry wore his only BLACK SHIRT!  When he left I went to the airport and saw him off I cried all the way home and "I layed in bed today and cried all day, Judyann and mom just shake their heads at me, but I'm hurting. What will I do without him here by my side?"  Little did I know or understand about attachment disorders or about being co-dependent.  I did really fall apart in my teenage world, it was the beginning of a long downward fall for me.

At church the next sunday I wrote in my journal "I just burst out into tears at church today the Sacrament hymn was "There is a GREEN hill FAR AWAY and I just started to fall apart."

OH MAN!  I had sent out a missionary and it was my intention to totally wait 2 years for him to come home to me.

 I became very close to Terry's family especially loved his sisters, I took Julie and Janeece took April and we went to the State Fair.  I also took Julie to school with me for a "home Ec class required I bring someone to cook for so today I took Julie I just love her so much she is a great kid she was so good today..."

From the MTC Terry wrote often

In 1974 I was called to be the Laurel class president. (I know you are wondering WHAT!?)  anyway... I wanted to do this right, I wanted to feel the spirit and make good choices.  I actually prayed about who to serve with me. One day at church I had been fasting to make a correct decision something just warm and lifting hit me all of a sudden to get up and move and lead me to Janeece. She was asked and accepted. She and I didn't know how to work with each other at first, but then quickly we became good friends and worked well together. We had some same issues with boys, she dated Lynn and I Ricky. In June when I went to Utah she went to California then we got back at the same time.  We had a great summer. We went to camp together and Lynn and Ricky came to camp and snuck us out (I had Kitchen duty the rest of the week!).    We went to Rocky Point and main street and did some crazy stuff.  We even had a couple of spiritual experiences together. Once when we went to Rocky Point, Sis took us to the Villa Granda and we danced and had a lot of fun ... they loved my skinny tan blonde friend!!!   First semester at college we took all the same classes except for Dance. We went to California a couple of times together with friends. When she got a job at Guggys that cut down our going out and stirring up trouble in town time. I worked in the day and now she worked at night. Her mother didn't like me, nor think I was good for her daughter. But any problems either of us had we had before we met and we only tried to help each other - I loved her as a friend and a sister.

Renee Natalie and Bev

 Renee is Terrys sister and I love her with all my heart. All of it, I do still to this day.  Back in the day We could have some REAL, and some serious, FUN, and good times and talks.  I tried to share my life experiences with her back then. She ended up being a better daughter to mom than me. Life is funny.

Why I write! and Why it's in a Blog...

TOO MUCH INFORMATION, thats your CRY!

Writing your own history is very insightful
you think you know everything about yourself
and read things that you think uncool!
To acknowledge would only pull things down from the shelf
question and answers hidden deep in the mind
buried for protection and of friends, family and my own heart!
but also enlightens and a help to Remember my own part --
and the things that Mother taught and the lessons to find.
I notice that the world indeed has influence, the media I acknowledge every year it has it's place -
deciding and discerning are lessons and standards along life's journey that are in front of my face!
This blog is the prophecy fulfilled of the Book of Life
presented to learn, grow and too, hopefully 
listen and heed to avoid depression and strife --
to lend testimony and knowledge of the Atonement of Christ.
From the experiences had by family before;  which
will bring you closer to each other and turn on the switch
so that questions you'll ask and on your knees you will turn
for inspiration and guidance from Heavenly Father you'll yearn.
Don't judge how I write, but know it's how I talk!
Bishop Watson told me that once, I accepted it as a compliment!
Look beyond the words and story; for the feelings take stock --
the recognition I give to the leaders, friends and family that to me were sent, helping me along the road of Life, 
as often the road is a valley of great decent.
From the roots of the tree to the branches and limbs; 
Unconditional love always wins! of that I testify of that I am sure, 
Good is worth living for, looking for, striving for and that ain't no lie!
Each year (and each post) has a story, each picture a memory lent.
I post it now ... and find yet more;  so to that year I add --
thus please go back and read, as in life each story changes over time as an others' perspective lends itself to knowledge helping the process of improvement a tad!
I know I go on; but, have you met my Mom? If you haven't keep reading
if you have you know what I mean!  you will know us both;
we love our family and strive to climb 
to progress and achieve to know and return --  to you we are pleading...
This life is short and eternity long from the Savior we receive redemption,
"It's all or nothing!" thats my brand; may we use courage and faith
 to choose the best road, and from hell receive exemption!


so it's not great, but it's from the heart! sometimes I just have to document for myself why I am doing this I POaST about my life thing! I still don't know how to connect one POaST to the other so I am only doing it with the Labels, the keywords!  
WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL -YOU"LL BE GLAD YOU DID! 






In the Book of Mormon we read from Alma 26

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/26?lang=eng

 11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength,nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

 12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak;therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

 13 Behold, how many thousands of our brethren has he loosed from the pains of hell; and they are brought to sing redeeming love, and this because of the power of his word which is in us,therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?

 14 Yea, we have reason to praise him forever, for he is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the chains of hell.

I "POaST" about my life ... 73-74 Junior Year!

Music; In addition to the perfect music already listed in 71-72 blog; Babs, Abba, Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, The Jackson 5
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYzpTDc4A0&list=PLBCE7A9F9D30DD790

TV; Rockford Files, Brady Bunch, Mash, Hawaii Five 0, Bob Newhart, Kojak, All in the Family, Happy Days, and American Band Stand to name a few off the top of my head! 

Movies; THE WAY WE WERE, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The GodFather, The Great Gatsby and James Bond! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYzpTDc4A0&list=PLBCE7A9F9D30DD790


So this is the year of "throw my hands up in the air"! It looks as if in my journals that school is taking a second fiddle to dance and boys and that dance and boys are bumping each other off every now and then!   Ricky and I started dating. Ricky started taking the missionary discussions and chose to be baptized.  That night, it was like a dream, I felt like we were floating.  The baptism seemed hazy, only at the time I thought it was because he was sad that he'd chosen the church and me over his parents and his siblings.  The program was nice. The spirit light and I thought inspirational.  When he came out after getting dressed into his dry clothes he just burst out in tears and hugged me and really cried. Like I said I thought he was sad his parents didn't come or something. He attended Youth Conference and all the extra youth activities, but often seemed to be late for or not at Church at all. How'd I miss that?   He was controlling and jealous, I was flattered he cared enough to be so. Looking back, I did talk to and flirt, but in an effort to find someone who loved me.  Thus we see; I guess I felt I deserved this treatment. I really just loved life and wanted to play and do things, he never saw it that way. Being just a tiny bit afraid of my Daddy, I am thinking now, that might have made me think I was suppose to be just a tiny bit afraid of my boyfriend.  WARNING WARNING WARNING: Don't go steady in high school, don't tell one boy that you love him and make your priorities something that you will ever sooner or later regret, you know - just go to class and be honest virtuous and trustworthy.  Remember this; that I believe in High School you are creating a PATTERN for the rest of your life. Make it a pattern that fits and doesn't need altering, And if it now needs altering the atonement is a great Tailor thru Jesus Christ...and that's all I've got to say about that.  
  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coef8G5ax6E

I've had a job since I was 12 doing one things or another ... mom made me walk around selling Christmas cards personalized with  embossed lettering - door to door when it was 120 degrees in August!, I babysat ALOT! and I worked at the Willis Linen Company where mom worked. I worked in the office or in the back wherever they needed me.  But when I was actually old enough to legally work (16) I worked 3 to 5 hours everyday after school washing and folding school towels.  These people at this place were like a second family. My ward, My Mesa 3rd ward being my first.   Note here...that Gas is SUPER EXPENSIVE now and the lines are monstrous even waiting hours sometimes just to buy gas.  If I drove moms car too many miles I would have to sit in one of those lines to replace the gas I'd used.  I remember it being ridiculous.    

Mom Ricky and I went on trips in this car to Texas to meet Kathys family (Timmys wife), and to Rocky Point to see Sis and meet Jorge.  Now that's a funny story!   We went to surprise my sister, she now lived and worked in Puerto Penasco Mexico.  She worked for the Shrimp plant U of A ran on the beach there.  She lived in Cholla Bay.  What was my Mom thinking? We drove down after she got off work one Friday night when we got there it was dark the roads are sandy and it's amazing we didn't get stuck some where! Anyway we found her we knock on the door to her little blue and silver trailer and - yep! she was surprised!!! We quickly met the love of her life and he went running on down the road! It was a picture I never forgot.  But now I see my mom was heart broken and for a year or so I see nothing in her journals or writing. She felt like a failure all of us dumb kids were not being who she wanted us to be.  Her example of not ever giving up, of always going to church, always giving 100% to her calling and her visiting teaching and loving me unconditionally, holding FHE and saying prayers with me - she will be blessed for that, even if if at the time I wasn't paying attention.   Anyway I digress.  Rocky Point was fun and seeing Sis was so exciting (I was 16!) she took us to her work, we went on a tour, we went to the bars, the restaurants, we went shopping for deals and we shot off fireworks.  A bottle rocket blew up in the face!  Rocky Point was where it was at! 

I had gone out on a few dates with Jim and I really liked his sister Sue. That was one of my problems, I loved the families of the guys I dated. Anyway... His Dad died and he went to California he sent me these beautiful flowers. Merry Christmas!  Not too much after that.

Betty and Stan Abbott lived in the trailer court with us across the street, by now Timmy is living there but I haven't mentioned them much and I just want to say here we love them.  Betty was "like a sister to me" she is "always there for me and she listens and gives advice that is prayerful and kind". To compliment her Stan is a good guy and nice to Mom and I.  Betty was my first beehive teacher, Camp Mom, and friend.  I Never gave her any trouble!!! ;)

Jane

Janeece Powell moved into the ward my junior year. We probably didn't hit it off at first. Me (I'm sure) doing all the judging - her being blonde and from California and all!!!  She and Jane became very close very fast.  It was the first time the 4 of us girls had had another girl and it mixed up the mojo for a bit, not that it wasn't already a little haywire us being in high school and girls and all!!!   Sheila was the straight laced I've got my life together one. She was a rock, she held us together and I am sure prayed for all of us to get our acts together!      Jane she was the brain the school is important and I do well and am involved in anything "greek", (if in High School there would have been anything greek)!  She dated Jim for a little bit and so did I. She and I had lots of "life experiences" to bond over.  She is a great friend and really made an effort to get me involved and keep me out of trouble. Some of us, just don't listen or appreciate the good friends that we have.

Shelia

Debra Lynn Harper

Debbie well Deb, she was my buddy, my pal. I loved her and her family. I spent alot of time at her house.  Who was Debbie? she was the take charge point everyone in the right direction girl.  She dated Dale Stark and so did I!  In fact it was probablly our biggest fight ever! I thought I was "going out" with him and she showed up at the Seminary Social with his class ring on! Really Kel, how many irons did you have in the fire!!! How was I mad at her? I don't know but I was, but wait,  I thought I was dating Ricky, no wait was it Jim I'm pretty sure I didn't know what I wanted, I only knew what I had wasn't right and I didn't know how to get away from it...and thus kept searching for Mr. Right.    Speaking of Mr. Right, the other thing I didn't note earlier is that My Mr Ricky Right would never take me to a dance or in fact to anything "public" and we fought at every dance we ever went too.  

Please note I have mention several red flags in this blog, Give heed!

So When Jim asked me to go to Prom caring flowers and promised a good time, I said YES!  It was a great evening and we looked good!  He also asked me to marry him - ring and all! I am not sure what happened maybe it scared me and I ran??? I do that!  Once Jim and a bunch of us went out when I was suppose to be at mutual when he took me home mom grabbed me out of that car and kickkkkkked my butt all the way into the house! For heavens sake I was 17! Come to think of it, maybe that is the reason!!! Maybe he ran! 

Tami Lea and Tim - Timmy and Kathys Kids pay a visit.

Aunt El writes... Feb '74

Dear Kelly Sue - I wish you could only know and realize what I feel in my heart to tell you. I had such a strong desire to tell you a few things when I was there but I couldn't and didn't and can't yet express to you my feelings.  I always hated and resented my mother and my sister preaching gospel to me - yes or anyone else for that matter - why? because I wasn't doing or living the way I should, I knew it, but I didn't do anything about it. I am sure I never had and still don't have the knowledge of the gospel that even you have, however this is not excuse. But how I pray that you will have the desire to go to the Temple with your companion to be married, when you get married - not a year or two or more later but at the time you decide on. I also pray that the Lord will give you the strength to control your emotions and your passion and that you will find a priesthood holder to help you fulfill this great privilege. Ah how I wish you and your Mother could have witnessed George O'Briens marriage by Elder Marion D. Hanks ... It was beautiful!!!

  Kelly Sue please pray sincerely, earnestly and humble for the great blessing.  I promise you it is worth it.  I love you Kelly Sue and am concerned for you.  Be wise avoid addictive habits, please run the other way from them.  Love Aunt El

P.S. Please don't be mad! I plead with you as I was pleaded to but Kelly Sue I didn't listen - please profit by someones
 wrong doings.     Love You!!!! Aunt El.

Oh have a mentioned that my sister is pregnant? Parents not happy, but very excepting of a new grandchild.  My junior year was a mess at home. I am sure Timmy had done something and was somewhere he shouldn't have been, He is divorced now.  The kids came to see us.  I love them.  I  took them and we went to parks and movies and horse back riding while they were here.  I want to be a Good Aunt!  Tom, well Tom is a no show pretty much all the time. He and his ranches, rodeos and romances!  I'm not sure now if it's Val or Nanci????