What does Covenant, Repentance and Forgiveness have to do with Friendship

#TrueFriend  

In my scripture study last week I was reminded of the importance of a #TrueFriend.  I have only a few, but as I read I liked the importance and commitment of being a  #TrueFriend what a great story.  Sometimes I think we really know way too much about David, from his start in war with Goliath to his start on Pornography from the roof tops!! The thing is, he is a good man, it's a human story of striving to do Gods' will and be a #BetterMan.  I very much like the lessons Jonathan teaches (I think he doesn't get enough credit which is what the story is really about right!) the lessons I want to apply are his principles and actions concerning friendship and hope, as I strive to be more like David and Jonathon than like Saul in my everyday life.

“All of us will be tested and all of us need true friends to love us, to listen to us, to show us the way and to testify of truth to us, so that we can retain the companionship of the Holy Ghost YOU must be such a True Friend.” Eyring

“Everyone needs good and true friends. They will be a great strength and blessing to you. They will influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. They will help you be a better person and will make it easier for you to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards.

To have good friends, be a good friend. Show genuine interest in others; smile and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, and refrain from judging and criticizing those around you. Do not participate in any form of bullying. Make a special effort to be a friend to those who are shy or lonely, have special needs, or do not feel included.

As you seek to be a friend to others, do not compromise your standards. If your friends urge you to do things that are wrong, be the one to stand for the right, even if you stand alone. You may need to find other friends who will support you in keeping the commandments. Seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost as you make these choices.” For the Strength of Youth

“there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those. Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving.” Holland

Marvin J Ashton excerpts of a talk entitled “What is A Friend” 1972;

·      Someone has said, “A friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am.” Accepting this as one definition of the word, may I quickly suggest that we are something less than a real friend if we leave a person the same way we find him.  There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence. Listen to talk here.

·       As we more fully strive to comprehend the significance of friendship, the more our appreciation should increase for the truths found in the following quotation:   “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (James 1:27.)

·       It is well for us to be reminded that we are friends to ourselves when we keep our lives unspotted from the sins of the world and leave ourselves better tomorrow than we are today. It is a worthy daily goal to be a true friend to one’s self.

·       Our responsibility to the widow and the fatherless is to accept them as we find them, but to not leave them without improvement. Ours is to lift the heavy heart, say the encouraging word, and assist in supplying the daily needs.

·       Aren’t we something less than a friend if we have the gospel of Jesus Christ and are unwilling to share it by word and example with a family, a member, neighbor, or the stranger? Aren’t we something less than a friend if we have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and are unwilling to share it?

·       A friend is a possession we earn, not a gift.*

·       It was Emerson who said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” No one can be a friend until he is known. A friend is a person who will really take the time not only to know us, but to be with us. One of the finest presents you can give anyone is your best self.

·       No greater reward can come to any of us as we serve than a sincere “Thank you for being my friend.” When those who need assistance find their way back through and with us, it is friendship in action. When the weak are made strong and the strong stronger through our lives, friendship is real. If a man can be judged by his friends, he can also be measured by their heights.

·       How can we help a friend? An Arabian proverb helps us answer: “A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

Yes, a friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me

I bear you my witness that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is our friend. In his loving processes of command, rebuke, greeting, revelation, encouragement, and long-suffering, he daily proves this. *Certainly he is willing to take us the way we are, but he wants to leave us improved in his word and his paths.

Want and Desire

Preface
Yesterday I wrote about not wanting to go to church anymore.  The word WANT then, was on my mind all night and day! I desired to find why.  I see slight differences in the words Want and Desire both by definition and in the scriptures, this is the result.

My Psalm of Want and Desire!

I Acknowledge thee Oh LORD, I know that thou exists and without thee I am nothing. Lost for sure. Help me.
I Come to Thee in remiss of my mixed emotions, wants and desires. Help me.
I search the WORD for answers and guidance. I seek to know Thee and Thy ways. Help me.
I want so many things that I forget to acknowledge what I have. Forgive me.
I forget to see the truth and the honest desires of my heart. Hear me.
Then recognizing the foundation of my life and the Joy that is therein. I Thank Thee.
I am thankful that the desires have been met of family, freedom, health, and that of being able to go to Church and worship when, where and however I can. Forgive me.
For truly my desire is to Live this Life completely and to find Joy in it with Family and Friends. Thank Thee.
I want in my desire to be fearless and take courage. Hear me.
I desire to see my family on the other side and want for us here in this life still; to be restored as a family forever and for always, to be forgiven and united. I Thank Thee
I want in friendship and desire to be a friend, Help me.
I want to know thee better and understand thy ways I desire to be at Thy side and at Thy feet when You come again, Help me.

At age 8 I did want to be baptized, I desire now to live up to my covenants, Please, Help me!
I am wanting in my habits for good, Forgive me.
I desire to have a change of heart, to not be a sluggard, slothful and greedy but willing to commit, and not willfully rebel, to be honest and have integrity not have the want to be commanded in all things, but the Desire to Daily Choose to follow the commandments. Hear me.
I want to give wholly my sacrifice and offerings; in doing so I desire to be humble, simple and endure to the end. To not want to look back longingly but instead go and do, showing my desire through actions to plant seeds having the desire to see the roots and harvest of the future that is Thy Will for me, I thank Thee.  Amen.

We are Both Broken

This morning I had an epiphany!  It is that in Marriage we (the couple whoever the two people are) are both broken.  Religion aside when two people come together they merge with a past, world experience differences, and a slew of different habits.  Who are we to judge?  Seems our job is to only,  if we love each other and ourselves then we can help each other become better people everyday.  The first thing to do is accept that we are both broken.

I read others blogs and I learn, empathize and even get jealous because I want to write like they do.  My goal as I write I remind myself is to learn, demonstrate empathy and share the ability to grow progress improve with each experience, thought and lesson I have Daily!

It's time to move on....

Forgive how bout Forget - WISE

My Mom!

I've been thinking about forgiveness.  My Mother always said that I was a forgiving person, that she in fact wished she could forgive as easily as I do.  Well Mom I don't think I am as good as it as you thought, seems I've been holding some stuff in thats bringing me down!

The scriptures I read today taught me, jumped out at me - I just want to mention here them here

• Judge not that ye be not judged, condem not and ye shall not be condemed, forgive: and ye shall be forgiven (Luke 6:37 in the New Testament)

• But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.  (Matthew 6:14)
• Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.  (Matthew 18:22).

"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury".   EH Chapin

Debbie is there somewhere!

My friend Debbie (who I'd beat on the head with a spelling book and switched the heads of her barbies so I could have the cool ones, all forgivable offenses, I would think) stole my boyfriend and came to a party with him with his class ring on, I was teenage shocked and horrified.  I had had no clue, I felt it was a horrible feeling to be betrayed like that from both of them I pledged to myself to never again be conned like that, to trust, to let down my guard.  One day I had to go say I was sorry for being mad at her so that I could live with myself, she and I sat and talked for hours. We laughed about it later.  Eventually we shared stories about our kids and husbands.  She died of cancer she was one of my best friends, what would have I done if I hadn't said "I'm sorry"?
Once my Mom totally embarrassed me (well that was more than once) but this time in front of my friends; by jerking me out of a car and kicking my butt all the way into the house (not to mention here that I had lied about where I was and made her crazy with worry).  
I can remember having been hurt at girls camp, in show choir, being let down by leaders who shouldn't have done what they did, being crushed because my dad didn't tell me he loved me til he kicked me out the door at 18, the Man at the church who told my brother never to come back to a youth activity with Wranglers on ever again - he did not, he did not ever step a foot in that church again except for to sing God Be With You Til We Meet Again with Mom on his way to Vietnam.  Being so mad at my brother I didn't talk to him for 10 years for shaking my son ridiculously in his drunken state.  Should I hold a grudge should I forgive? I should've not only learned to forgive, but to forget?  Or how bout this - should I be forgiven for yelling at my in-laws, my children, my husband for stealing a watch or cigarettes for my boyfriend, for letting my kids watch movies they shouldn't or gossiping about how dumb people are - (Yes I think I just has a little confession and forsake moment!!!) 
I want to be WISE!!!! and forgiven!
"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget". thomas Szasz

Wisdom is knowledge rightly applied I say!  I've had a couple very dear friends get mad at me and completely stop talking to me, and I never knew why. Do I hold on to it? Do I learn from these experiences?  I also say - People shouldn't stop talking.  People should never just be silent (well never is an absolute so in reality I suppose their is a time for silence)  but in this instance people need to speak up say whats on their mind when they don't they do things they regret.  "I don't care" isn't appropriate either when friends and family are involved. 

I found this quote today too that sums up all my thoughts;

When i say i don't care it either means:
-i'm pretending
-i'm joking
-i'm clueless
-i dont' know the situation
-i can't be bothered
-i hate the person alot
-i'm too busy thinking of other stuff
-i want to sleep now
-i'm too full of pride
or
-i REALLY don't want to care anymore.

So say those words don't keep me guessing, my mind has neurons that trigger and immediately GO TO THE WORST PLACES.  How do you forgive me or me you if we don't even know what happened?  

I write for therapy so none of this could be making any sense at all.  Just know this I'm evolving, ever learning, trying to apply life experiences, to forgive, care and move on ;).

Iris and Tim Michael

Kelly & Iris 5 years sick

I guess I need to wrap this up! Life is hard, trials have come my way.  I've been letting them weigh me down (literally like 40 pounds worth!).  My Great Nephew contacted me this week (A surprise of great satisfaction)and ask to be a part of my brothers life, (his grandfather) or at least to have something of his to know him by.  Short and to the point people did stupid things, and now My Oldest brother is dead (he made stupid mistakes as a son, brother, husband & Father), My great nephews father is dead (people killed him on a street corner), my niece is a drug addict (allegedly) and hurt us so badly when my brother died (long story), how all of this and the death of My Mothers 2 middle children (Judyann & Tom) lead her to be so depressed and angry it made her crazy sick, how for 5 years I nursed and cared for her and literally watched her give up life.  I "feel like" I could have some grudges and wish some revenge on some people.  I'm sure we all could go on and on about taking offense and in some way being wronged. I stop now with these few examples and really for the future (I will not be offended and if I am I'm gonna tell you why and how - well I hope I will!) because if anything from writing this I have learned I've made some mistakes and need forgiveness myself.  See Matthew 18:15-17 it gives a 3 step program on how to forgive!)

But Today I want to learn from the next generation (no pictures! I don't want to embarrass them, they might not forgive me!!) - I want to hear my nephew ask for things of his fathers and his grandfathers because he never knew them  - an act of letting go of grievances and handed down bitter family stories.  Also to learn from my daughter who stands up and fights for herself and is so doing without being petty, speaking badly of others or holding a grudge.

I pray my Mother can be right about me and that I can be forgiving, let go of the past, forgo revenge, not cause injury to any others, always keep striving to be a friend a family member who like my mother loved me unconditionally forgetting about everything wrong I did to her. 

I share this hoping to help anyone else who holds a grudge, who says "I don't care", who is careless with family and friends; stop it, don't pass down negative traditions - for if we don't forgive how do we expect to be forgiven and what will become of our heritage?

thank you kids (all of my kids out there that teach me!) I council; be wise in that forgiveness remember only enough to not make the same mistakes ever again.

I feel better! I hope you do too!!!