31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2011

cousins sobczak wisconsin 2011

First off!  One more entry of Austin's 8th grade writing!  I know he'll be so happy that I've included these!  -  It's how I roll!  This entry is how he pictured himself at 28 and in 2011 he turned 28!  Anona you need to note here - he went to BYUI!

Kirtland Ohio -  Me and Richie

Scranton on Anonas Birthday

Joseph Smiths Farm where he grew upWestern New Yo

At Austin's play bocce ball

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2009

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2006

Love Done Gone

We've had a Change in status I feel I might need to catch some of you up. 

 Ayris Joan is a Sobczak, she is a "single lady".

So many applicable song references -

but to be clear 2012 sucked and we are looking forward to 2013!!! 

The judge granted an annulment ... November 30

Us without him!


the song LOVE DONE GONE... 

this is my perspective - a positive take, on a tragedy

Me Myself, Mom & Tom, Life and Death

I have to live with myself and so

I want to be fit for myself to know.

I want to be able as days go by,

always to look myself straight in the eye;

I don't want to stand with the setting sun

and hate myself for the things I have done.

I don't want to keep on a closet shelf

a lot of secrets about myself

and fool myself as I come and go

into thinking no one else will ever know

the kind of person I really am,

I don't want to dress up myself in shame.

I want to go out with my head erect

I want to deserve all men's respect;

but here in the struggle for fame and wealth

I want to be able to like myself.

I don't want to look at myself and know that

I am bluster and bluff and empty show.

I never can hide myself from me;

I see what others may never see;

I know what others may never know,

I never can fool myself and so,

whatever happens I want to be

self respecting and conscience free.

A poem my mom made me memorize as a youth by Edgar A. Guest

I miss you mom.  Yesterday Richie and I were talking about you - about all your counsel, about how parents do know more than their kids but that kids won't, & never will admit that and learn without experience.  Sometimes secrets do come off the shelf and out of the closet, we can only hope before we meet our maker that amends have been made - as our parents have taught.  We don't always have to be the center of all the action and Drama around us that we shan't care about the mote in someone else's eye, but instead only be concerned about our own eye and be self respecting and conscience free.  
 thank you Mom for teaching me that.

I'm remembering today the days and the night we waiting beside my brother Tom for him to die.  It's such and empty hopeless feeling.  The visual of it never ever leaves your brains' storage base.  The race to drive to him from Washington to Arizona.  Austin, Mom and me ...and Tom, praying out in the little patio garden for him to not have to suffer, feeding him, reading to him, teaching him the Plan of Happiness on deaths door, the room we stayed in, the book we read together as he lay there waiting knowing the end was near, the looks between Mother and Son.  The look he gave me when I said you'll be ok - go find Big Sis.  And the moment he was gone.  The look of a shattered conscience.   He had gone to that hospital with the intent of being "fixed" of living and "fixing" things when he came out, I hope he has the chance on the other side.  It came over me like a tidal wave that feeling of whatever happens I want to be self respecting and conscience free.  

I am grateful for T - T's

you know what I like about blogging vs handwritten journals? I can update them within themselves! originally posted 12 nov. 2012 updated 14 April 2016 still grateful for the T!

Tim Michael the 4th let's say playing Taps (grateful for the T) for his Grandpa McCoy when he died.

Tom! (a pic not shared so much!)

Sis Mom and Timmy

Mesa Arizona Temple

Tyler and Myself SeatacAirport

There are so many T's to be grateful for just to name a few; Temple, Testimony, right off the top - but then there is Timmy - well all the Tim's in my life (I count several in my head right now), Tom, Tyler, thermostats to keep my house cool and warm, toilets (gotta have a toilet), tangerines maybe one of the few fruits I enjoy, Tenacity,  Thrift (of which I do not engage well!), tinsel, transportation (totally thankful to have a car), Ticket to Ride, trials, oh I could go on and on with the letter T but then T's is a word in it's self - right?  So I'm going with my favorite T = T-Shirts!

I love them so much I wear one every day! Mine are so worn they can't be made into a quilt but everyone else in the family has there T's made into a quilt to keep them warm so they can wear them more than one at a time!! (and of course remember me!)

Just for an example and I love love love my Camp shirts I wear them all the time everywhere!  In fact one day when Samantha was here I went outside and she asked me why I had my pajama shirt on?  Whatever I use my Camp shirts!!!!

This TShirt Idea turned into  a camp shirt

This TShirt supported a tragedy; a mudslide in Oso Washington
 where many people lost there lives and hundreds gave service in a time of need Mar 2014

It's my "One Thing"!

I've recently had the question presented to me "When and Where are Tyler and Ayris getting married?"!  You cannot begin to imagine the discussion surrounding the final out come of the choice where these two have chosen to be married, yet in a Temple or not in a Temple has never been a Topic of discussion it's always been in a Temple!  So I thought for those readers out there I'd like to share why "A Temple".

Amric Zane (He's my baby!) plays Rugby with the Creighton High School young men in Omaha Nebraska, they are Catholic.  They talked about going out to eat together this week on Friday but it seemed pointless to them - it being Good Friday and all!  Thus the belief that they only eat fish on Friday. I bring this up because it is their "thing" - something that they believe in.  Amric being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka; Mormon) and teased constantly and nicknamed "Stormin' Mormin" has things he believes in too.  Nothing he likes more than playing Rugby but like it or not they  play on Sunday he believes it's the Sabbath thus chooses to not play - it's his "thing".   We all have our beliefs - our "things" we choose to believe in.  Tyler choose to go on a Mission to Ohio to share with the people there the beliefs he has learned, chosen and lives in.  One of those beliefs also is to be Married in a Temple.  We went from Seattle  to Oquirrh  then to Omaha back Seattle down to Portland back to Omaha then back to Oquirrh.  Being from the Northwest we wanted all of us to go back there to have this wedding, but due to expense and travel and making arrangements from so far away it bounced back to Omaha, but then we haven't lived here very long and the kids don't really know too many.  Before Tyler left on his mission almost 3 years ago now, the Oquirrh Temple was having on Open House where anyone can go walk thru it so we did.  Tylers mom was with us, it was Beautiful - they saw it together and so the goal, let's get married here! Plus they are going back to school in Utah so it just fits together for them and the timing - it's all about timing isn't it?!?!?!?!

Ayris was raised being taught that to be married in a Temple by someone who has the Authority "Seals you as a couple and a family for Time and All Eternity" vs til death do you part.  I know that just about anyone any more can get a certificate to marry people.  But in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - Inside one of these Temple's - it is simple, beautiful and sacred - teaching us to be calm, seek learning and include God in our marriage and family.  It has been taught in the scriptures from the beginning.  Besides the religious factors this idea (being sealed for Time and Eternity) is the ceremony and proves out in the statistics showing less Divorce. The principle being we don't want to go into marriage thinking; this is my First one, or if this doesn't work it's over; but instead "this is it" - it's the kids' motto - "Thru thick and thin" and as my Mother taught me - "Love the one you're with, Love 'em up Good and Hard, Work it out Kelly Sue Endure it well."   I like how Dory on Nemo says it too - "Just keep Swimming".   

Thus the answer - We get married in the Temple to keep it simple, beautiful (without great expense) and to remind us it's sacred sealing us to each other and our family for eternity.   For the most part it's our anchor and the few people that are their with us are our Links of support on Occasion we are sadly missing some of those links and work hard to connect, adhere, splice complete that missing link and include them in any and all other ways we can.  Richard and I both were married in the Temple without our parents (some people don't know that about us).  The Bible teaches us to leave our parents and cleave unto each other, knowing that right from the beginning creates a bond, a link, a love - a  trust that is unbreakable not ever to be broken.  That's the "Thing" I believe in.  Families can be and are Forever - from the beginning thru this life and on to the next that's my "One Thing" I hold on to that gives me HOPE and focus and leads me to the Temple to find peace, simplicity and remind me of the love of a good man covenants of a God that loves us and is with me always! The world distracts us always attempting to tear us apart we need that extra devotion to one another and to God to keep us together.  And that's my take on it!!!  

Remember the "things" your Mother taught you!

wholly whollly smokes it's SEPTEMBER!

Remember how I am learning and applying wisdom this year from old journals about my last 30 years? (I want to put lots of explanation marks here but I'm hearing Anona say - people over use the explanation mark!!!!) oh and is it a mark or a point?  I don't know but I love them ... so Anona dang it I may tend to continue to OVERUSE THE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  anyway that is all beside the point - hahaha get it point!!!  again I regress.  My question is where the heck have I been since April 1st?  so just to catch up with this year and then to go off on my learning and applying wisdom journal exploring escapdes let's see....  WOW as the song says "I've been everywhere man!".

from my very nearly empty paper journals I see that at the end of March I was accounting for all my wonderful weight loss but noticing that I wasn't sticking to it and could see that I needed to start over so put all the measurements and stick figures and weight scale pictures into place to restart my weight loss program and loose again the weight that I had been slowing putting back on since October.  Can I just brag for a sec that I'd lost 53 pounds and inches - that's weird too isn't it!  Well since that wonderful day I have gained the inches and 20 pounds back UGH!  I blame it on change and my lack of discipline in dealing with it so new paper entry today I start over again!!! I will loose 60 pounds by camp next summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My paper journal from the past reads like this:
"Today I start again! the goal to loose 34 pounds another 53 to 46 would be a bonus!  I need to be HEALTHY, STRONG, COURAGEOUS.  Blogging has caused me to reflect, research and remind myself of TWO things; 1.  The joy of my life   2.  Weakness therein!
2nephi 3:21, 33:4 Ether 12:23,27,37 and 40 oh and Doc & Cov 135:5 reference where I am at in life right now and give me umph to keep on going  (Oh man I wonder where all that UMPH went?).

It goes on to read... Out of our books and actions we will be judged choosing for ourselves 'our mansion in Heaven'."

So in all my wisdom it seems as if I need to reapply, recommit and re something!  Cuz my excuses that I think I have - WHICH ARE MANY, don't seem like they will fly!  Just to make myself feel better I'd like to name a few of them... Ayris left for school, Went on a little excision of Rugby games from Kansas to Colorado, Some of the Family went on a trip to New York (I will surely write about it!), Tyler came home (To his Home in Washington), I went to Las Vegas to baby grand sit while Apryl and Sean went to England, I went to Washington with Ayris, I went to Girls camp and scam home swearing never again - I'm so glad that part of my life is over! and then I was really thrown for a loop when called to be the New Stake Camp director for 2012. A different some of the family went to Wisconsin/Minnesota for a Sobczak family reunion (I will write about that later! Can you say Mice in the walls and Bats in the Bedrooms?).  Amric is a senior. Apryl and her little family Moved to Gretna Nebraska.  Oh I know its the fault of switching up our computer system and I don't even know how to run anything now - knowing that was happening just made me stop blogging!!!!!  see I have tons of excuses and none of it works and I do HAVE MANY but they sound empty and I don't look blameless.  WRITE EVERYDAY!

Getting a little of my own right back at me!!!



This kid is really on my mind today and since feb is almost over including the Tolo date picture here~!

As I was saying earlier!!! what do I do to help these two kids!!! Maybe I should try something new and back out of it VS being the Jane Austen Aunt!!! Let them see what happens without striving to explain what she said to him and What he meant when he said that to her!!!! Since I am so great at communication anyway!

Whitney having a baby shower!  So happy for her and her little family!! Love Love Love Whitney!!!

Off to Apryls....While I am with Apryl we love to watch our TV, but I especially like the way that she brings me Jane Austen and all of her weird English novels.  I could never read them, but when I watch them with her...look out, I'm in and there is no stopping our little marathon.  It's interesting too ... I like to watch and study the relationships she has with friends, men and Aunts!!! 

Austin and Anona arrived, they are doing some job interviews.  .  . woodland Hills, Downtown LA who knows where he will be this time next year?? 

I'm still at Apryl's haven't heard from anyone except Tyler.  I guess he spoils me, so I expect everyone to text me all the time, too!  But just reafirms my lesson this month in the importance of staying in contact.

The grandkids throwing books, that seems to be a big surprise since Apryl likes the book so much!??  Tonight I was suppose to babysit but Sean went with his parents vs coming home to take Apryl on her Temple Date.  When will husband (boyfriends learn!?!?!).   On another issue... Really?  Why do people think I can't keep it together?  Apryl and Sean took me to the In-Laws tonight - they pointed out to me that they prayed for me...Really?  am I that awful that I can't represent without embarrassment???  I would like to help out more, But I feel like she doesn't want or like anything that is me - the person who I am???  Today we went to a cement park and took the kids to play.  I felt like Iris and Kelly were in the car only this time it was Kelly and Apryl!  Yikes!!!  I really could delv into this more the relationship between the mother and daughter, but not tonight.  It is so much fun to be here with Vaughn and Pax, neither of them took any time at all to warm up to me.  We had tons of fun playing, reading and playing more!   Be careful how you treat your mother!!! 

I miss my family.

Feb enteries almost over.  I am learning.  I am also thinking this is a big job and wondering how Julie (Julie and Julia) ever wrote everyday AND cooked!!!!   I want to write with inspiration and not just blah blah blah my journals say this and that today.... hopefully it'll pick up!