A letter from Iris ... Her 30th Mothers Day 1973

   

My Dear Kids, as this, my 30th Mothers Day, approaches it makes me more than aware of the responsibility that has been entrusted to me in the rearing of the four choice spirits that came into our home and of the failure I've made of that trust!
     There are several of the best known holidays that have always been special to me and that I've tried to help you kids and your father feel excited about.  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July they all are very meaningful to me -- not just for the well known reasons, but because they are significant in drawing a family closer together if that family will allow the deep feelings to develop, that these days arouse.
     Perhaps the two days that really meant the to me, though, are Mothers Day and my own birthday. Believe it or not the two seem closely related -- Each year as my birthday comes I feel so grateful to my Mother and to all those that have helped my life amount to the little it does.  And since I've had you kids after I thought for so long that I'd be denied that privilege, I just can not express the gratitude I feel for each one of you.  And of course for Daddy for helping me to become a Mother!!
     As it is a special day for me I'd like to use it as an excuse to do something I try not to do and that is to say some of the serious things that are so often on my mind.  They are not new things nor are they different -- so if you do not want to read farther now is the time to toss this in the waste basket.
     As each of you has grown up and even matured a little most of the time I've felt pride in your endeavors.  Oh and of course there are the little things I've seen or known of that I'd like to change but until the past two years I've always told myself that soon you would remember who you are and why you are here on this earth and make an effort to live as you have been taught.  But as I've watched you all get farther an farther away, not only from me (and I do not mean in distance) but from every semblance of religion of worship of God I've had a hard time not doing some preaching!!  and some pleading!!  to beg you, each one of you to take a long look at yourselves and what you really want -- to realize how short a time the life we live on this earth is and how long the eternities will be and ask if it means nothing to any of you that we cannot be a family in the hereafter if we don't live more righteously and more unitedly here and now.  Oh my dear kids how I love you, I'd give anything I have to help you see what you are are doing, even my life if it would help.  No one of you is really happy -- no one of you is doing with his or her life what you really want nor what you have been taught and yet their isn't one of you that isn't specifically blessed in one way or another that could be instrumental in make your own life so much more complete.  If you'd just read your patriarchal blessing and try to live as you have been taught you'd be much more happy and probably more prosperous!!!  At any rate -- may I take this opportunity to bear my testimony to you that I KNOW that God Lives, that He hears and answers prayers and that "IF" we make the effort to keep our lives in tune with His spirit we will (you will) feel an inner peace and joy that nothing earthly can give to us.
     My love for each of you is more than I have the capability of expressing.  Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the desire to just put my arms around you and weep with joy because you came into my life.  Thanks to each of you for the much happiness you give to me and for the opportunity to become a little bit more complete person because of the trials you've also brought into my life.  Please forgive me for the many times I've failed to give you the right kind of counsel, or been too strict or not strict enough, please know I've tried to do my best but not always been wise.

Remember
I love You,
 Mother

Out with the Old and In with the New Year ... 2013!

Hardin Family Knows how to Have Fun!

I'm on this kick this year that I'm going to be fun! And together with my daughter we are learning to not be so intense.

On New Years Eve we just happen to have the perfect setting for learning this new skill!  It is a skill I've come to believe!!!  No tension in the room, No crying or pouting, No hovering over anyone, No yelling, No drinking, No WAIT there was indeed COMPETITION! YES!!! It can be done!!!  

And here as I sit blogging away I remember it and think about it 23 days later, it still makes me smile.  What a great night we had!  I love it when families invite us to their home and I can feel the spirit of love, harmony and Christ.  And When music is involved, cuz that for sure is one that was, is and will always be lacking in my home - cannot carry a tune nor read any music.  My kids will only know me for "Now the Day is Over", before family prayer!!!  Anyway I got lost there for a min, I was thinking about going to Teares at Christmas and singing, feeling love, harmony and the Christ also in their home I guess, Ben's on my mind today  :)  anyway ... moving on  ... I miss Amric ;)

 

Games are tuff, it seems it might create anxiety or some sort of tiff.  Someone might be mad they lost, feel insecure they aren't the best or sad to not be included.  But not here, not in this Hardin home not on New Years Eve 2012.  Tooooo Bad I pass my headaches on to my kids.  We lost Austin for awhile there!

As Amric was already set apart to go into the MTC we were really striving to "feel the Spirit" of the thing and not bring on negative vibes - so what to do for New Years Eve, he was Already missing a ton of Football - (that was a sour note already! - so many puns)!!!  Anyway we were grateful to be included in our "In-Laws" planned, organized and WAY FUN night.

Blowing up balloons, telling stories, stacking plastic cups, and werewolves are just a few of the CRAZY things that went on, not to mention that a meal in itself was served every hour after 6 o'clock. 

Secretly beforehand My thoughts we how could any of this be fun without the TV?  Really?? Without watching the ball drop at midnight?  TRADITION!

But look at me - 23 days later I'm still smiling...  Thank You Hardin/Sobczak Family.

OUT WITH 2012 and in with 2013

As I am writing this I'm reminded of that old saying "whatever you are doing at midnight you'll be doing all year'!  

Well, I was with family and I was having fun.  New starts were everywhere!

At one point in the night we wrote habits we wanted to break or "something we wanted to rid ourselves of" and then placed them on this pile of limbs.... we burned Out the Old Habits with fire and brought in new habits with smiles and hope.  So maybe that is why I keep subconsciously thinking this year that ... I AM DANG FUN and I WANNA BE WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE FUN TOO!  I'm gonna have some fun :) 

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.” 

and that's how I felt at midnight 2012-2013

 and again now at midnight!!!!

Which way Do You Lean???

 SO this morning I watched The Lorax.  Really it was the 3rd time I tried to watch it, sure not my fav!!!  I just want to document the ONE THING I got out of it

"Which way do trees fall?  They fall the way they lean.  Be careful which way you Lean!"

It goes to the Root of my belief system!  Tradition.

• T =  Teach with the spirit and Keep your sense of HUMOR!  about yourself and EVERYONE around You.
• R =  Reason for rules and regulation Be Obedient.
• A = Axiom; "Birds of a feather flock together"  and "REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!"
• D = Dogma; faith is not a perfect knowledge, hoped for and not seen
• I = Instill the desire to be proud of where you come from
• T = Tongue is sharper than a beating
• I = Implant roots that will grow and hold strong
• O = knOw when to share your Opinion and when not too! But hold on to the ONE thing that you believe in.
• N = Never give up ;)  on Yourself or the ones you LOVE ((or even if you don't love them))  

because ...   unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing is going to get better and all your trees will fall and you will have nothing to show for your life. All your roots will be pulled from the ground and your traditions will not be re-rooted!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PF0h7oqUEQ

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 1997

31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 1987

This letter was written, but not mailed...

 1987 Christmas at Nannys' ... Because we didn't have an address!!!! 

Richard's dad died in July on the 27th (heart attack).  Richard had finally mended fences with his family and spoken with his Father for about 2 hours the night before he died.  We bought the SOBCZAK MOTOR HOME in March.  In May I went to work part time and we entered the program for foster children.  On the way home from the funeral in Oregon - well that's a very long story, to cut it short we had to rent a car to get home.  When we returned Richard had no job.  He turned around and went to Oregon to live and help his mom, the kids and I got an apt. I went back to work full time.  I was on my own.  

Over the next 3 months I learned what commitment meant, who is willing to be, and who wants to be committed.  I was asked to teach Relief Society twice a month - the lessons were on Marriage.  I will always be in debt to Liana Willis for allowing me, in my awful state to teach about Marriage, ---those lessons converted me - I had to get my act together.  

Richard came home to visit at Halloween, he had a mask on knocked on when he knocked on the door, and when the kids answered he scared the crap out of them!  Austin would hardly go to him the rest of his visit!  

Thanksgiving I took Nanny and the kids and went to Mexico it was the most enjoyable relaxing trip...I love it there.  

When we returned I starting packing things up to go and be with my husband in Washington.  He came home for Christmas and Christmas night we loaded up the Ryder Truck and headed out. But before we left, getting that van of ours on the trailer that was too narrow -- it was a nightmare, not a good way to start off our "Fresh Start"!  I swear I'll never deal with Richard and tow trailers of any sort ever again!  

On the way North we stopped to visit Grandma Joan and Grandpa Sam and went to Gramma Judys in Eugene.  

Immediately after crossing the Columbia River into Washington we picked up the Toyota, which was at Vic and Wades and when we got to our new home we found that Santa had been there and set up the cutest little "charlie Brown tree" for us. 

 Christmas is a great time of the year for "fresh Starts",  recognizing the Savior acknowledging we need Him and being with FAMILY.  Im totally going to miss my family in Arizona, but am anxious to start again with my  family here in Washington.  

Pioneer Day, Halloween, New Apt, Single Parent

Foster Kids, Work Party, Austin

Halloween, Richard, Dewitts, Apryl, Austin
Crocodile Dundee, Warrior Princess

Alicia School Project of the Sobczak Heritage

Alicia, Randy, Ron and Kids

Funeral, Oregon what a trip!

We have this Christmas sock tradition it is to put in our socks in writing on christmas eve a gift that we can give to Jesus over the coming year

this year these were those gifts...

• Austin - Be a Good Sport - if I loose a game still play again)! 
• Apryl - be worthy to be baptized.  Learn the Articles of Faith. 
• Mom - Develop more Patience.  Not loose my temper so easy.
• Dad -Be more prayerful to make certain of decisions that are being made.

I mentioned that Austin wrote about experiences in his life in his class in 1997... this one is about the Family Trip to Granpa Sobczaks Funeral....

the Sobczak Motor Home and Granada!

Home is my Heaven

"Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go."  Dessen

What is home?  Where is home?

My mom would answer something like this:
H is for heart
O is for Organized
M is mother
E is for eternal

My eldest brother Timmy would say; the place you call if you're in trouble, he would always tell mom "no news is good news"!

Washington

My sister would say;  Puerto Penasco, Mexico. Depending though on who was asking!!  Her permanent home address for her last 36 years was Mesa, Arizona!!!

My little brother Tom would say;  where ever momma is!

My dad even though he didnt live there 100% would also say - wherever the "chief" is!

My Jenni used to sing to us "There is beauty all around when there's love at HOME!"

Nebraska

 My parents moved me when I was young, so would I say the house we lived in the first four years of my life was home? I also had the same address for as long as I could remember when I got married, do I call that place Home?  I've had 18 addresses since then, which one do I call Home?  

Washington

 My children have lived many places and not for long, what would they say they call "Home"?  After the 14th move and lots for trauma, blessings, and searching for "Home", Richie and I prayed for a place to set down roots (now I've blogged about roots before),  but our prayers were finally answered and I believe - because of that I know what my kids would call Home.  But would they want to go there? Do I want to return to the address where I grew up? Do you?  It is what I always wanted for my kids; a place they would want to return to and call HOME.  Maybe I speak to soon, but for today and even after a not so awesome 2012, I am grateful to say that Home is where we are today.  Memories, good and bad, experiences shared, love, sadness, "feelings" - not things make us know and remember "HOME".

Valley

Then there is the song 
"I'll be Home for Christmas",
 the quote; 
"Home is where the heart is" 
and so on and so on.
Home is important 
President Thomas S. Monson said it like this


"A home is much more than a house built of lumber, brick, or stone. A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. We are responsible for the homes we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live not only influence the success of our earthly journey, they also mark the way to our eternal goals."