I "POaST" about my Life --- 1967 ...

4th grade

Spending more and more time at the stables.  
Dad and Tom tease me that I like "a little black kid".  I don't get it?? 

 My Friend Annette had a birthday in March and I wanted to take her a gift. My mother tried to tell me that it just wasn't going to happen, that we don't go into that part of town, again I don't get it.  I've learned since then that they called it "north town" or "the projects".  I did not know or even care that it was different place to live. "Please take me Mom" I asked again and again. I remember a long discussion at the kitchen table. She did take me. I will never forget that day. Mom driving me into that neighborhood and people actually coming out of their house and standing up on their porches watching us.  Again I didn't get it.  Mom sat in the car while I went up and knocked on the door and handed my friends mom her gift. They look bewildered.  I didn't get it.   
This girl was my friend, why wouldn't I take her a present or be invited to her party (which I wasn't by the way!). 
 I ran across this link I think it's super interesting and something at the time I didn't understand or even know about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MILe8kYcwAY

Tom and Kelly

Seems as if mom is working LL THE TIME! I have to be home alone or go to the stables to do chores. I am not found of either thing.  I get in trouble when left home alone, I either bring people in or watch too much tv alone.  I definetly do my chores, Mom scares me! But the threat of Daddy scares me more.  Tom is now going to the stable everyday after school.  I miss hanging with him.  Sometimes he lets me go with he and his crowd to Papago Park to ride horses ... really, he wants me there so I can stand and hold the horses while they skinny dip in the lakes there.  I would never do that or even go in that gross water!  But I love going to this park and hiking and riding horses.  I am scared though when we ride on McDowell with all the traffic.  I love all of Toms friends.

Once my friends Marie and Cotton and I went riding on the canal bank and we were racing the horses back.  My horse screeched to a halt at a place where a side walk path went across the bank and I did not stop! I went over head first! Cotton road like the wind to get Tom.  When he got there he roped me and made me walk back to the stable behind he and his horse with that rope around me.  I went to school after the weekend and Mrs Hunsaker said "Kelly I think your arm is broken". She called mom. We went to the Hospital and sure enough, I'd been 3 days with a broken arm and all my hurting WAS real after all!!! Even though "It was too far from my heart to kill me",  "nor was it Bleeding!" as they all told me over and over again all weekend!!!

KellySue and Judyann when we still lived in the little green trailer

FHE  INSTRUCTIONS -Please Write your Dreams and your Fears...
Daddy
dreams;
Money
good race horse
new truck for my horse trailer
Fears;
I get the Blues
Lack of Money
Tom 
dreams;
Being myself in the Mountains and having Fun
RODEO
Working on a ranch I own
Fears;
revenge
that I'll run
not acting like "I should"
Mother
dreams;
Having all my family going to and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Going Back to School
Being thin enough to wear pants!
Fears;
no unity in my family and they don't go to church
neglecting my home
I don't study enough to improve myself
I wish I could SING!
Kelly Sue
dreams;
i want to be a fairy to make everyone happy give them what they want
i dream of being a teacher and hallering at the children!
I dream to be a mother
Fears
mom and dad mad at me
my toys are broken and gone
being left alone

Kathy and Tim

The Birth of Tim Michael McCoy in El Paso Texas ...

October 16th 1967     7 lbs 13 oz. to the parents Kathy and Tim McCoy 

Mom went to be with them in Texas. 20 Oct these are some Journal entries;
"I am lonesome daddy comes home late. I wait up for everyone to come home Tom isn't even here yet. I watched Perry Mason while I waited. I played like I was having Family Home Eve only no one showed up. I was alone and I turned to the 2nd lesson and I read about knowing Heavenly Father and that he loves me, it helped make me not to be afraid."

and a different night ....

"I was afraid tonight in the dark house I prayed and Tom came home in 5 min. It helps to pray I am glad I read about that last night for my Family Home EVE. I love my mom, I miss her.  Tomorrow I think I have to go sleep at the stable."


and then...
"always people at the stable, but I am still alone. I worked on my hook rug and cleaned the floors. Is that all I am good for to Daddy cleaning?  I believe I picked my mom to come to live with, I wonder why she is always so busy?  I love you Mom.  I miss doing your hair tonight."

TV/Movies/Music

Playing baseball at recess I was pitching and got hit smack dab in the pelvic bone fell to the ground. It was hot. I cried. They called mom I am ok.  I don't like to play baseball.  I like to go to the movies, dance, I like 4 square, jacks and kick ball!  I can't pay attention to read.  Story problems are the worst, reading and Math  eeeeewwwwggggghhhh!

I found this letter that Grandma wrote because she has a new great grandson thought I'd include it here... 

To you my unknown great grandsons and daughters,

I bequeath my love of God and all the revealed principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I bequeath my love of your great grandfather and for our children Otis, Iris and Elda Tomney. I hope you will cherish the memory of Philip Michael Tomney your Great Grand Father. And I hope you will love truth as he did and cultivate the virtue of honesty that he did.  I bequeath to you too the honor and respect for your step Great Grand Father Albert Robinson Lyman that I feel for him. He is truly a man of God, a patriarch, in the church of Jesus Christ and in age is now 87 and still eager to DO all he can for everyone to help them gain Eternal Life and I am grateful to him for all he has done for me.  May God bless you with a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel.  With heartfelt for all my own 

Gladys Perkins Tomney Lyman

I "POaST" about my Life --- 1966 ...

We are who we are!

for an activity mom sent this for the class to guess who I am 

I loved these friends! I can still name most of them!

4th grade

I don't have a picture but this year Urlene did some Baton twirling and wore costumes and everything!!! She went to Flagstaff with Jim and Beverly for the 4th of July 

We moved!  across the road into a Big Trailer!  10x 50 - SPACIOUS!!!! My "Home" til I married!

Tom in our new yard! NOTE - IRONED White shirt and Wranglers standard.
I was the girl at home doing the ironing, wash and cleaning house!!!

Timmy and Kathy are married

Judyann Shovels snow at Aunt Els

She had surgery and the removed her thyroid, meds for life now.  I love my sister.  I follow her everywhere that she will let me!  I love her life and all the friends and "fun times" that she has.  I want that too.  She has a real life.

Tom Rodeo

July 1966 I went to stay with my Grandma in Blanding Utah.  My mom was sick so I kinda was "sent away", but I loved going there.  I loved being with Grandma and Grandpa Lyman in there little house and going to all the Blanding events.  I loved my cousins and especially spending time at the Smiths'.  Donna took me to the pool. Ned went hiking with me and taught me how to play chess.  We went to parades and tried to catch greaseeee pigs and slid down the flag pole all greaseeee!  I also liked to go to Aunt Maryanns; I loved spending time with Lynda, Lisa and Leslie!!!  We worked in the garden and home made bottled root beer!  It was awesome to go there.  But I did always miss Mom and the family!  Mom writes me letters telling me to find a ride to salt lake if I want to go see Aunt El and that if she can't find me a ride home I need to ask around if anyone is going to mesa (really? I'm 9!).  Aunt El writes me letters here and worries about me all the time, I love her.  She counsels me to "Be happy, cheerful and pleasant and Remember your prayers and be thankful for loved ones and all you have. I do love you and pray that you may always be a good girl."

the drive thru monument valley and indian country was long and hot very dry but the colors were fascinating to me and the new pick up trucks and bags of government food left on the door steps very confusing.  I remember always asking why do they have new trucks if they have to be given bags of food!!!!

This is Tami Lea
we went to visit Grandma Gladys and Grandpa Lyman in Blanding with the new McCoys!
Sept. 1966   -   it was a SUPER trip with fun memories.  Permission was given for Timmy to adopt Tami by Jim White.

The birth of Michael Wayne McCoy to Kathy and Timmy was tragic. He lived only a few hours. 
Oct 1966  The story is he asked for help from the Church and no one showed. It was yet another step on his ladder of bitterness and a jaded attitude toward goodness and light.

as for favorites --

Ricky hamilton, Linda Stahl, Brandon McQueen we used to play like we were "The Monkees"  

My sister and her friend who is also like a sister Marcia Cosentino are now going to Young Arizona for the "good times".  Sometimes she takes me.  I love it when she takes me places with her.  She is way too much fun!!!

For FHE we did a test to see if everyone knew each other very well...
Daddy favorite color - red
favorite food - steak
favorite TV program - Whats My Line?
favorite sport or game - Horse races (who knew!)
favorite song - How Many
Favorite Bible Story - Moe (I'm supposing that is Moses!)
Favorite friend - Richard
Tom favorite color - Turquoise Blue
favorite food - steak
favorite TV program - Virginia
favorite sport or game - Wrestling   Favorite Song - Wayword Winds Favorite Bible Story - David and Goliath 
Kelly Sue Red, Chicken Noodle Soup, Munsters, Casper, Joseph Smith First Prayer, Daniel, Urlene!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SaeWh3h8Fg

If you are still here I will add these two stories of the 4th grade. I loved Mrs. Hunsaker she was my teacher.  I remember that I thought she cared about me, she taught me life lessons about race, religion and education.  

• One time (I don't know what I did) she slapped my hands with the yard stick and the yard stick broke.  So she made me stand in front of the class with glue and rubberbands holding the yard stick - the attempt I guess was to put the yard stick back together.  It was super embarrassing to stand for the rest of the day in front of the class trying to hold that yard stick together. With a most outrageous punishment like this the person does not remember what was done but only the punishment.  
• Another time I had been watching The Dating Game the girl asks 3 bachelors questions and then picks one to go out on a date with.  I Loved this show! Well one day Greg did something to me on the play ground I obviously didn't approve of and I called him a bastard, I seriously thought I was saying bachelor. I probably  heard this name around the house somewhere (the language did get colorful at times)! Anyway...Mrs. Hunsaker heard me and took me to the janitors room made me bite into the bar of soap that was sitting on the sink and washed my "bad bad mouth and all the naughty words away".  Needless to say I know the difference between the two words now and refrain from using either as much as possible!  

I'll record this story here, but I believe it to be the next school year, my brother Timmy came home from Vietnam and was in Georgia our story that we got was "he stopped at a stop sign and big black men pulled him from his car and beat the hell out of him".  I told Mrs. Hunsaker and she seemed to imply thats how "they are".  I was horrified, my friends Greg and Annette and Clarence were black and all I could think was 'they aren't mean just because they are black - that is ridiculous". 

I remember loosing confidence in her and didn't go to her for counsel any more.

I "POaST" about my life --- 1964 ...

Mom worked hard to hold a Family meeting with us once a week!!!  This was one of our activties and the results....  
Describe who you are...  each family member (1-4) wrote something about said person...

• Tom... 1."able to ride horses fairly good."   2. "Mows the lawn very good."  3."It is a great talent to be able to accept disappointments and not be resentful - like not getting to go to the show last Friday."    4."Very co-operative in anything he is asked to do."    He wrote about himself; "Try to not gripe and just do everything told to do."
• Kelly Sue... 1. "She tries to learn."    2."Good Worker, does the dishes."   3."Dances pretty good when she trys."   4. about myself I wrote; "I keep the house clean and bathe and mind my parents. I be good and mind my manners at the table. I be nice to my friends."
• Daddy... 1. "He likes Red and he likes steak."   2. "When you say something you almost always get it done - your way, which I guess is good."  3. "He is nice to us." 4. "Thoughtfulness for others is a truly fine quality - Like not working me when I was tired." (I don't know what that means!!!)  He said this about himself; "I like to see that my family is provided for."

mom and daddy

Tom starts to Rodeo!

I really want too barrel race at the rodeo, but I'm not allowed.  But here began my love of the Rodeo.  The people, the RUSH, the "fashion", the stress of it all!

  I wanted to be there and be involved always!!! But for some reason Dad pushed me away and only accepted Tom.

Judyann not doing well away at school.  

Seems she found the kids who didn't follow the honor code at BYU!

She also keeps fainting!!!

No one knows what the heck is wrong with her.

When she was home on break, she got into a huge fight with mom and mom slapped her in the face.  "I went to my bed and cried for hours. I will never be mean to mom like Sissy is."

Timmy certified for scuba training in the Army.

Some of my favorites in THE WORLD were ... 

We really do have FHE

In our family on Monday Nights the tradition of having a "family Home Evening" has indeed been a goal.   I want to now make this entry for the sake of Amric!!!  Last night we had the discussion that as he said "last week with the missionaries over was the first time we had family home evening"!

so I flipped out and we had a serious discussion about what is family home evening!  I tried to teach him that we have had it, he has learned, he has been taught he is choosing to ignore!

So for those families who struggle at keeping and or getting your little ones to pay attention and hope they are learning something ... then there's amric!!!  I had a friend once who said that God gave us 17 year old boys so that we could let go of them in the near future!  This morning when I said my prayers I thanked God for my 17 year old boy! No Heavenly Father has blessed me with evidence lots and lots of Journal entries of both successes and failures at striving to have Family Home evening.  I encourage you to continue in those efforts teaching something about manners, respect, honor, tradition, Faith, hope and charity! Use things like board games, TV, MUSIC, story books, jump rope, trampolines, swimming pools, picnic tables, parks, and refer to the scriptures but do it together as a family once a week.  Even if they think they never did it...because really its so a part of their life they just think it's life!!!! it'll be worth it 7, 17, or 70 I promise!

It's not our parents fault we are the parents that we are...we choose how we parent!

Family Home Evening.  We have our ups and downs with this "commandment".  I remember the charts and the stickers!  The desserts and the lessons.  My favorite time, I suppose was when I lived in Arizona, we had a little neighborhood of moms who got together and exchanged lessons with visual aids I loved those days.  Austin would tell the stories and Apryl would lead play and teach us the songs.  They loved making the desserts and eating them too.  Oh I do miss FHE with the little ones.

Tonight I tried to have a "discussion" about family that is away from us and how we could get to know them, keep in touch with them. Pretty much the Dad scoffed at me. I shut down and FHE was over. I need to fight back in these situations and as a young mom I would have.  After he went to bed the kids and I had an activity and a dessert we read our scriptures and said our prayers...but really when everyone doesn't play along it leaves a sadness, a gap a hole. :(

So ok, I want the writing to be positive and not to be negative toward the experience I share this really is my first negative experience shared, so why am I sharing it...

I guess to remind myself of the importance of following thru doing things as a family and not giving up when it doesn't go your way.  Sunday I went to a YW Presidency mtg... my thought when I left there was "Ahhh, to be young and not jaded!".  Those young moms were happy and positive and willing to go and do.  I on the other hand felt cautious and well jaded! 

Back when we first moved away from family I took pictures and created a game that we liked to call "It's all Relative"!  I cut up pictures (back in the day I always had doubles printed) and the kids and I for FHE labeled them, mounted them on posterboard and laminated them.  Then we played games like "go fish" and "memory" with these cards so that they would know faces and family and never forget.  I didn't let myself give in to the thinking this is dumb, it won't work, who cares!

I worry too much any more that people will be offended.  I was never one to care about that!  Suck it up, is how I was raised, "It's not bleeding get back in there, if it is blessding it's too far from your heart to kill ya!"  was pretty much the theory around the child hood home!  These days too many people are offended, don't want to give it all they've got, don't want to do this or that because it's too hard.  Where am I on that scale any more?  I have kinda turned into a hermit for fear of something???         I'm just not sure what!

Church leaders have instructed members to set aside Monday night as “family home evening.” This is a time for families to study the gospel together and to do other activities that strengthen the family spiritually, create family memories, and increase unity and love.

The moral of the story tonight is, Life is hard.  Following the commandments is hard, for as easy as they are. But as it says in the New Testament we "can't serve two masters" so we have to buck up, it's important ... I can testify that it pays off, that the memories and lessons learned when parenting a REAL Family night do pay off and the rewards and blessings are many and last for generations of time!