what is permanent?

So we have invested all this money into a new computer set up and I seem to have lost 8000 pictures somewhere somehow.  This is why I get frustrated and stop blogging and doing anything on the computer.  DOn't you hate it when you type and type and type and then it's not saved or somehow it's lost in a file somewhere in the computer that only the tech knows how to find?  I do.  "They say" that it's "suppose to be permanent" anything you put out there is out there for the whole world to see anytime of day or night! Except for me and my pictures that for 2 years now I have been attempting to get scanned, downloaded and filed to keep in an organized fashion!!!  UGHHHHH!  It's why I like my paper journals and my actual scrapbooks that are tangible and I can see on the book shelf!!!

Yesterday I went to my little Apple class to learn, I've been doing that for awhile now, but I came away feeling very unlearned.  They said they saved my 8000 pictures.  I sat in front of the computer in fact watching to really see and prove to myself that these pictures are still in my computer somewhere and as I watched these thousands of pictures pass by me at a very rapid speed what I saw before my eyes was the inevitable "Judgement Day"!!!  All of "my world" of people sitting in front of a screen revealing my life to them just like that - BAM!  Will I be embarrassed? Heck ya! Will the Lord say "well done thou good and faithful servant, I'm thinking Heck no!  It made take a moment to pause and think I'm so grateful to still be alive on this earth with people that I love and to interact with them.  It reminded me that I've seen and done some things that I need to clean up.  BUT it also gave me pause for a wonderful wonderful life and things that I've done that have been fun, good and positive, people, places and things that will be permanent memories.

so I just wanted to somewhere thank God for my life. Say I'm sorry to people I've hurt and kick myself in the butt, strap on the ole boots and kick up some fun times create some more memories and not waste any more time singing the blues quoting anyone singing the blues or regretting the past.  I've done my time.  I do my best.  The past has, well... the past is.   I am me as she says; "I am who I am"!  Thanks to lessons learned, free agency and Jesus Christ some things are permanent, and somethings aren't. ... they might be hidden in the computer somewhere,  thank goodness for that some won't ever have to see them.

does that make sense to anyone but me!!! I'm glad I cleared that up for myself!!!!!!!! bahhhhhh!!!! night!

technology vs paper a memory is a memory it should be safely guarded

I am convinced that technology does NOT like me!!!
yesterday I went to Walmart to get some pics developed off my phone. I ended up deleting them!
I went to Mormon.org to share with the world that YES in fact I do have a testimony of Jesus Christ and it apparently doesn't want me to share with anyone.  I am on review and have been asked to not link my account to fb or my newly created and nonDAILY blog!
I attempted to buy with my christmas itunes card Blake Sheltons new album and was told the connection is not retreiving or some nonsense!!! So now I sit and wonder do I try again? will it download later? Have I charged my account 3 times trying to buy it anyway!??!?!?!?  Then I tried for hours to skype with my daughter and no ... I guess my computer doesn't know how to talk to the line that talks to her!?!?!:(

I like my paper!!!

I so I turned to my dailys from jan 1991...
"We are reading and having scripture club regularly!!! Austin is the offical policeman!! He has the responsibility to wake Apryl and I up!!! Apryl has attended 23 out of 31 times! I promised the kids a surprised to the one who came the most! I bought Austin a sweater and he got a candy bar for acheiving all of his other PMI Personal Mom Interview) goals.  Apryl didn't get anything for either! So to avoid the tears I bought the 'surprises' for Feb already and showed them to her (a cute flowered pair of pants and neon t-shirt).  Apryl just lit up!  looking forward in my paper journal, she came 100%!!!  of the time.  To help her get to sleep so that she can get up better we put her bunk bed above austins in his room...she is now falling asleep within the half hour instead of after 11pm!    Maybe with her she has to see the reward and not just be tempted by one!?!?!  How do I prepare her for life...spritiual and/or temporal rewards are not going to be seen before she acts on obedience!  Doesn't she know that??  Austin is kicking my Butt! He gets up showers and then wakes up Apryl and I, my next goal...to be up before the boy!  Isn't the mom suppose to wake up the kids and not the kids wake up the mom!?!?!?!? can I say "I have a baby!? it's her fault?!?"  She wants to watch the war and Hunter returns all night long!
Now I have tried to add this to my blog and it did some HTML faillure thing!!! It is not my week for technology!!!!  and to add to that I just realized that since I returned from visiting Austin and his family history is repeating itself....Amric is now waking me up,  not me waking him up!!!  things have come full circle .... OR HAVE THEY???
I'm grateful for my journals and the memories they help me visualize!

I just don't do this enough to figure it out!

Last summer I moved, I went through the house I cleaned out clutter either by way of Desert Industries, Good Will, Salvation Army, Fire or shredder!!! I was surrounded by clutter, peoples stuff that somehow I inherited in the wake of death.  Over the last 10 years I lost all my syblings, my aunts, uncles, and my mother.  I don't want to nor do I mean to sound burdened or victimized...today I talk about clutter. Somehow, I just ended up with losts of stuff...   Stuff I had no idea what to do with.  I have since learned that I kept it for 2 reasons 1. memories, 2 not wanting to let go of them.  When my mom died it was over, that generation was all gone and to deal with it, I let it for the most part all go.  So I kinda dealt with it sorting and stacking now in clear crates that I will again begin to start to deal with in a new light and at a much smaller scale. BUT I am now discovering a whole new kind of clutter...
We have currently in the house 6 computers - something different on them all!!!   2 don't work at all, one is the girls, one is the Dads, one is the missionarys', and one is for us all to share.  I have lost my music and pics on 3 at least 3 different computers I am afraid to put my heart and soul out in the world and even on to a computer that loses things easier than I do!!!  Everyday I check my email, my text messages and my facebook wall!  I am set up to tweet, to blog and to YouTube! I have a church profile and a ancestry.com profile!!!!  I have a written journal of church notes, daily: "it's cold and snowy" notes, a planner and now a phone that does everything!!! I feel like I have tech clutter!!!  How do I live with it, sort it and become efficient in it all!!!????? HELP.
And to that I add blogging, I am a person who wants to write.  I am not blessed with a great vocabulary, good grammar or the "wit" of some, but I "feel" the need to write.  To deal with my "tech" clutter it is my goal to take this year to merge it all to one.  Over the next year I will review the last 30 years and eventually rid myself of paper in the house and only have a minimum of 2 places that i have "notes"!
I have a scripture that motivates me in this; Eccleiastes 3:2-8.