31 Days of 31 Christmas' - 2002

wholly whollly smokes it's SEPTEMBER!

Remember how I am learning and applying wisdom this year from old journals about my last 30 years? (I want to put lots of explanation marks here but I'm hearing Anona say - people over use the explanation mark!!!!) oh and is it a mark or a point?  I don't know but I love them ... so Anona dang it I may tend to continue to OVERUSE THE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  anyway that is all beside the point - hahaha get it point!!!  again I regress.  My question is where the heck have I been since April 1st?  so just to catch up with this year and then to go off on my learning and applying wisdom journal exploring escapdes let's see....  WOW as the song says "I've been everywhere man!".

from my very nearly empty paper journals I see that at the end of March I was accounting for all my wonderful weight loss but noticing that I wasn't sticking to it and could see that I needed to start over so put all the measurements and stick figures and weight scale pictures into place to restart my weight loss program and loose again the weight that I had been slowing putting back on since October.  Can I just brag for a sec that I'd lost 53 pounds and inches - that's weird too isn't it!  Well since that wonderful day I have gained the inches and 20 pounds back UGH!  I blame it on change and my lack of discipline in dealing with it so new paper entry today I start over again!!! I will loose 60 pounds by camp next summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My paper journal from the past reads like this:
"Today I start again! the goal to loose 34 pounds another 53 to 46 would be a bonus!  I need to be HEALTHY, STRONG, COURAGEOUS.  Blogging has caused me to reflect, research and remind myself of TWO things; 1.  The joy of my life   2.  Weakness therein!
2nephi 3:21, 33:4 Ether 12:23,27,37 and 40 oh and Doc & Cov 135:5 reference where I am at in life right now and give me umph to keep on going  (Oh man I wonder where all that UMPH went?).

It goes on to read... Out of our books and actions we will be judged choosing for ourselves 'our mansion in Heaven'."

So in all my wisdom it seems as if I need to reapply, recommit and re something!  Cuz my excuses that I think I have - WHICH ARE MANY, don't seem like they will fly!  Just to make myself feel better I'd like to name a few of them... Ayris left for school, Went on a little excision of Rugby games from Kansas to Colorado, Some of the Family went on a trip to New York (I will surely write about it!), Tyler came home (To his Home in Washington), I went to Las Vegas to baby grand sit while Apryl and Sean went to England, I went to Washington with Ayris, I went to Girls camp and scam home swearing never again - I'm so glad that part of my life is over! and then I was really thrown for a loop when called to be the New Stake Camp director for 2012. A different some of the family went to Wisconsin/Minnesota for a Sobczak family reunion (I will write about that later! Can you say Mice in the walls and Bats in the Bedrooms?).  Amric is a senior. Apryl and her little family Moved to Gretna Nebraska.  Oh I know its the fault of switching up our computer system and I don't even know how to run anything now - knowing that was happening just made me stop blogging!!!!!  see I have tons of excuses and none of it works and I do HAVE MANY but they sound empty and I don't look blameless.  WRITE EVERYDAY!

Ok it's time to get going again.... Computers, vacation, disappointments, ayris moving away, apryl moving to nebraska, Tylergeorg going home from his mission and setbacks part of life but for me this time a distraction of 5 months and a weight return of 30 pounds, but I think today I let it all go and I am ready to start again to blog, exercise eat "my food" (TSFL) and well,  Go and Do and talk about it!!! Wish me luck!!!

Pocorn and Soda the small things that bring me down! Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. Alma 37:6

let's talk about food!!!
So well you  know me it's Feb 10th! I'm still striving to eat right (right for me)!!!  Why is it that when I tell myself that I cannot eat popcorn, I find myself binging on popcorn like I am afraid I will NEVER EVER be allowed to eat popcorn again!!!???? and why is it when I tell someone that I believe in something or that I tried something good and it worked, the next hour minute or day I will for sure be tested to see if I really do believe that?  For instance... When I say a prayer to eat right before my day starts..it usually is a good day on that regard!  OR  when I make a commitment to write on my blog "Daily" then the computer Internet goes out and throws me off my directive!!!!  What about this; "Yes I walk and I think walking is important to my health" ...it is 30 below, I'm not walkin'!!!!  And let's not even talk about a budget for food!  Or let's.  Why is eating healthy is so darn much more expensive than eating white flour, white sugar and white pasta based foods that can come directly out of my food storage?!  How do people budget and feed their families? No wonder we all weigh too much, for to only eat protein and a green ... is just too darn costly! 

I'm winding down to ONE year here on my new eating program, and On March first I will do a full report (but shhhh don't tell anyone OR something will get in my way of making a full disclosure and helping me to know if it's actually done any good at all!!!).  I think I have for sure learned moderation in all things. Willpower is essential but prayer is a great absolute - a must FOR ME to be able to recover from any and all addiction.  I'm not sure yet of all the triggers, but I know they are there.  I am not positive of all the reasons I eat, but I know I don't just eat because I like the food for instance; I don't really like and I fully believe that diet drinks are not good for me, yet I want to drink a soda. I never drank soda as a youth, but since my sister and mother, My Aunt and my Uncle all had sugar diabetes I have switched from regualr soda to the lesser of the two evils - even though my good sense tells me somewhere deep inside to just not drink it, for the sake of health and the budget!!!

Well I guess I found one of my addictions caffeine.  But really In my mind I will never be able to truly do without caffeine...it's in too many things.  I have always had the head aches of my Father, and Excedrin is the only cure.  And I won't ever stop eating chocolate... So what is the answer - just what I ask!???!?  Moderation in all things and to never start anything that has any kind of addictive chemical in it, wait! I think I've heard that before - "Eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. When you do all these things, you remain free from harmful addictions and have control over your life. You gain the blessings of a healthy body, an alert mind, and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. … Any drug, chemical, or dangerous practice that is used to produce a sensation or ‘high’ can destroy your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. These include hard drugs, prescription or over-the-counter medications that are abused, and household chemicals.  We do not want to harm our mortal bodies, for they are a gift from God, and part of our Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness is the reuniting of our immortal bodies with our spirits." well that is just one of the many sources I found in a talk by L.Tom Perry

Anyway I did not have any intention of talking out my need for speed here and now, but since I have maybe it will motivate and help me in my effort to resist.  To recognize and admit that a stimulant is only a depressant and a trigger to crave more carbs!!!  I will eat more healthy, have willpower and discipline in my care of my body and not sit and pig out on Popcorn as I did yesterday!!!!   WISH ME LUCK!!!!!