I "POaST" about my life ... 73-74 Junior Year!

Music; In addition to the perfect music already listed in 71-72 blog; Babs, Abba, Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, The Jackson 5
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYzpTDc4A0&list=PLBCE7A9F9D30DD790

TV; Rockford Files, Brady Bunch, Mash, Hawaii Five 0, Bob Newhart, Kojak, All in the Family, Happy Days, and American Band Stand to name a few off the top of my head! 

Movies; THE WAY WE WERE, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The GodFather, The Great Gatsby and James Bond! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYzpTDc4A0&list=PLBCE7A9F9D30DD790


So this is the year of "throw my hands up in the air"! It looks as if in my journals that school is taking a second fiddle to dance and boys and that dance and boys are bumping each other off every now and then!   Ricky and I started dating. Ricky started taking the missionary discussions and chose to be baptized.  That night, it was like a dream, I felt like we were floating.  The baptism seemed hazy, only at the time I thought it was because he was sad that he'd chosen the church and me over his parents and his siblings.  The program was nice. The spirit light and I thought inspirational.  When he came out after getting dressed into his dry clothes he just burst out in tears and hugged me and really cried. Like I said I thought he was sad his parents didn't come or something. He attended Youth Conference and all the extra youth activities, but often seemed to be late for or not at Church at all. How'd I miss that?   He was controlling and jealous, I was flattered he cared enough to be so. Looking back, I did talk to and flirt, but in an effort to find someone who loved me.  Thus we see; I guess I felt I deserved this treatment. I really just loved life and wanted to play and do things, he never saw it that way. Being just a tiny bit afraid of my Daddy, I am thinking now, that might have made me think I was suppose to be just a tiny bit afraid of my boyfriend.  WARNING WARNING WARNING: Don't go steady in high school, don't tell one boy that you love him and make your priorities something that you will ever sooner or later regret, you know - just go to class and be honest virtuous and trustworthy.  Remember this; that I believe in High School you are creating a PATTERN for the rest of your life. Make it a pattern that fits and doesn't need altering, And if it now needs altering the atonement is a great Tailor thru Jesus Christ...and that's all I've got to say about that.  
  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coef8G5ax6E

I've had a job since I was 12 doing one things or another ... mom made me walk around selling Christmas cards personalized with  embossed lettering - door to door when it was 120 degrees in August!, I babysat ALOT! and I worked at the Willis Linen Company where mom worked. I worked in the office or in the back wherever they needed me.  But when I was actually old enough to legally work (16) I worked 3 to 5 hours everyday after school washing and folding school towels.  These people at this place were like a second family. My ward, My Mesa 3rd ward being my first.   Note here...that Gas is SUPER EXPENSIVE now and the lines are monstrous even waiting hours sometimes just to buy gas.  If I drove moms car too many miles I would have to sit in one of those lines to replace the gas I'd used.  I remember it being ridiculous.    

Mom Ricky and I went on trips in this car to Texas to meet Kathys family (Timmys wife), and to Rocky Point to see Sis and meet Jorge.  Now that's a funny story!   We went to surprise my sister, she now lived and worked in Puerto Penasco Mexico.  She worked for the Shrimp plant U of A ran on the beach there.  She lived in Cholla Bay.  What was my Mom thinking? We drove down after she got off work one Friday night when we got there it was dark the roads are sandy and it's amazing we didn't get stuck some where! Anyway we found her we knock on the door to her little blue and silver trailer and - yep! she was surprised!!! We quickly met the love of her life and he went running on down the road! It was a picture I never forgot.  But now I see my mom was heart broken and for a year or so I see nothing in her journals or writing. She felt like a failure all of us dumb kids were not being who she wanted us to be.  Her example of not ever giving up, of always going to church, always giving 100% to her calling and her visiting teaching and loving me unconditionally, holding FHE and saying prayers with me - she will be blessed for that, even if if at the time I wasn't paying attention.   Anyway I digress.  Rocky Point was fun and seeing Sis was so exciting (I was 16!) she took us to her work, we went on a tour, we went to the bars, the restaurants, we went shopping for deals and we shot off fireworks.  A bottle rocket blew up in the face!  Rocky Point was where it was at! 

I had gone out on a few dates with Jim and I really liked his sister Sue. That was one of my problems, I loved the families of the guys I dated. Anyway... His Dad died and he went to California he sent me these beautiful flowers. Merry Christmas!  Not too much after that.

Betty and Stan Abbott lived in the trailer court with us across the street, by now Timmy is living there but I haven't mentioned them much and I just want to say here we love them.  Betty was "like a sister to me" she is "always there for me and she listens and gives advice that is prayerful and kind". To compliment her Stan is a good guy and nice to Mom and I.  Betty was my first beehive teacher, Camp Mom, and friend.  I Never gave her any trouble!!! ;)

Jane

Janeece Powell moved into the ward my junior year. We probably didn't hit it off at first. Me (I'm sure) doing all the judging - her being blonde and from California and all!!!  She and Jane became very close very fast.  It was the first time the 4 of us girls had had another girl and it mixed up the mojo for a bit, not that it wasn't already a little haywire us being in high school and girls and all!!!   Sheila was the straight laced I've got my life together one. She was a rock, she held us together and I am sure prayed for all of us to get our acts together!      Jane she was the brain the school is important and I do well and am involved in anything "greek", (if in High School there would have been anything greek)!  She dated Jim for a little bit and so did I. She and I had lots of "life experiences" to bond over.  She is a great friend and really made an effort to get me involved and keep me out of trouble. Some of us, just don't listen or appreciate the good friends that we have.

Shelia

Debra Lynn Harper

Debbie well Deb, she was my buddy, my pal. I loved her and her family. I spent alot of time at her house.  Who was Debbie? she was the take charge point everyone in the right direction girl.  She dated Dale Stark and so did I!  In fact it was probablly our biggest fight ever! I thought I was "going out" with him and she showed up at the Seminary Social with his class ring on! Really Kel, how many irons did you have in the fire!!! How was I mad at her? I don't know but I was, but wait,  I thought I was dating Ricky, no wait was it Jim I'm pretty sure I didn't know what I wanted, I only knew what I had wasn't right and I didn't know how to get away from it...and thus kept searching for Mr. Right.    Speaking of Mr. Right, the other thing I didn't note earlier is that My Mr Ricky Right would never take me to a dance or in fact to anything "public" and we fought at every dance we ever went too.  

Please note I have mention several red flags in this blog, Give heed!

So When Jim asked me to go to Prom caring flowers and promised a good time, I said YES!  It was a great evening and we looked good!  He also asked me to marry him - ring and all! I am not sure what happened maybe it scared me and I ran??? I do that!  Once Jim and a bunch of us went out when I was suppose to be at mutual when he took me home mom grabbed me out of that car and kickkkkkked my butt all the way into the house! For heavens sake I was 17! Come to think of it, maybe that is the reason!!! Maybe he ran! 

Tami Lea and Tim - Timmy and Kathys Kids pay a visit.

Aunt El writes... Feb '74

Dear Kelly Sue - I wish you could only know and realize what I feel in my heart to tell you. I had such a strong desire to tell you a few things when I was there but I couldn't and didn't and can't yet express to you my feelings.  I always hated and resented my mother and my sister preaching gospel to me - yes or anyone else for that matter - why? because I wasn't doing or living the way I should, I knew it, but I didn't do anything about it. I am sure I never had and still don't have the knowledge of the gospel that even you have, however this is not excuse. But how I pray that you will have the desire to go to the Temple with your companion to be married, when you get married - not a year or two or more later but at the time you decide on. I also pray that the Lord will give you the strength to control your emotions and your passion and that you will find a priesthood holder to help you fulfill this great privilege. Ah how I wish you and your Mother could have witnessed George O'Briens marriage by Elder Marion D. Hanks ... It was beautiful!!!

  Kelly Sue please pray sincerely, earnestly and humble for the great blessing.  I promise you it is worth it.  I love you Kelly Sue and am concerned for you.  Be wise avoid addictive habits, please run the other way from them.  Love Aunt El

P.S. Please don't be mad! I plead with you as I was pleaded to but Kelly Sue I didn't listen - please profit by someones
 wrong doings.     Love You!!!! Aunt El.

Oh have a mentioned that my sister is pregnant? Parents not happy, but very excepting of a new grandchild.  My junior year was a mess at home. I am sure Timmy had done something and was somewhere he shouldn't have been, He is divorced now.  The kids came to see us.  I love them.  I  took them and we went to parks and movies and horse back riding while they were here.  I want to be a Good Aunt!  Tom, well Tom is a no show pretty much all the time. He and his ranches, rodeos and romances!  I'm not sure now if it's Val or Nanci????

I "POaST" about my life --- 1964 ...

Mom worked hard to hold a Family meeting with us once a week!!!  This was one of our activties and the results....  
Describe who you are...  each family member (1-4) wrote something about said person...

• Tom... 1."able to ride horses fairly good."   2. "Mows the lawn very good."  3."It is a great talent to be able to accept disappointments and not be resentful - like not getting to go to the show last Friday."    4."Very co-operative in anything he is asked to do."    He wrote about himself; "Try to not gripe and just do everything told to do."
• Kelly Sue... 1. "She tries to learn."    2."Good Worker, does the dishes."   3."Dances pretty good when she trys."   4. about myself I wrote; "I keep the house clean and bathe and mind my parents. I be good and mind my manners at the table. I be nice to my friends."
• Daddy... 1. "He likes Red and he likes steak."   2. "When you say something you almost always get it done - your way, which I guess is good."  3. "He is nice to us." 4. "Thoughtfulness for others is a truly fine quality - Like not working me when I was tired." (I don't know what that means!!!)  He said this about himself; "I like to see that my family is provided for."

mom and daddy

Tom starts to Rodeo!

I really want too barrel race at the rodeo, but I'm not allowed.  But here began my love of the Rodeo.  The people, the RUSH, the "fashion", the stress of it all!

  I wanted to be there and be involved always!!! But for some reason Dad pushed me away and only accepted Tom.

Judyann not doing well away at school.  

Seems she found the kids who didn't follow the honor code at BYU!

She also keeps fainting!!!

No one knows what the heck is wrong with her.

When she was home on break, she got into a huge fight with mom and mom slapped her in the face.  "I went to my bed and cried for hours. I will never be mean to mom like Sissy is."

Timmy certified for scuba training in the Army.

Some of my favorites in THE WORLD were ... 

"Sandwich Generation"

At first I was labeled "the tail end of the Baby Boomers",
 but today I understand I have a new label  "The Sandwich Generation"

I was told once that "you can only have 1 queen in a kitchen" let me tell ya I've learned that the hard way by having One Aunt, a mother-in-law and My own sweet Mother living in my kitchen!!!!!    Let's go to the old school paper journals I have a few .........

My friend Debbie used to come over cuz she said I made the best sandwiches!
 I guess if I can have cheese on it everything will be ok!!!

One entry goes like this... 

My dear sweet Mother
towards the end of her life

•  2006 "having a hard time going home this time.  I feel sadness, emptiness and some kind of longing this day as I leave Apryl and Vaughn.  Not sure why or what it is about?  She seems so sad and lonely.  I am worried inside about her, my heart and mind concerned for her well being. I love and admire Apryl Ann, I love talking and hanging out with her.  What a awesome spirit she is. I admire her 'sense and Sensibility'!!!!  But...   I have to go home, back to care for Mom.  It's so sad to see her everyday and how she is now. She never wanted to end up where and how she is. ... I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone and everything most often I feel stuck in the middle, it wears on ya!  She fell and broke her hip. She always said she did not want to EVER have a hip or knew replacement.  They said they had to do it.  I asked if they had to? the nurse looked at me like - you horrible idiot person "Her hip is broken".  Of couse they had to do the surgery.  I just knew she had said she never ever wanted to do it. They knocked her out, she didn't know us. She was back in the room at midnight.  She and I hand in hand I stayed with her all night.  Every time she would come to I would retell her where she was and what had happened.  She came too more so in the day she did not know me. She is hateful argumentative even physically! It's awful. like I said I'm having a hard time keeping up."

   My Aunt is a wonderful wonderful person, but she can be a little exhausting and eccentric!!!  WHen she came to live with us she had had a knee replacement and as the 5 years of caring for her progressed we discovered she had gotten a staff infection while having the surgery and so she suffered much pain and death by infection.  This entry goes like this....

"up off and on every two hours last night.  Then up this morning to help Auntie to the bathroom get her her kleenexs, some breakfast and prep her for shower, get her to do some exercises - all the while getting ayris and amric ready for school checking on Mom and making lunches!  and then say "I'll be back in 15 Auntie gotta take the kids to school."  Husband? do I even have a husband??? In 15 - I'm back, she is freaking out, no I mean freaking out!!! because "I was gone too long and Mom had not even looked in on her"!  Today I worked on Mutual for the YW and asked that they come to the house tonight, cuz everytime I leave auntie freaks out with anxiety so much that I do not know what to do with her.  I'm to tired to move, so I eat to keep awake, I'm divided so thinly between everyone - I've gained 20 pounds in all this.   Oh my my! I feel like I am not doing anything really really well. I like to do things the goooooodest that I can! HELP ME God!"

When my Uncle Otis was put into a "care giver facility" he called me begging me to come to help him, his stepkids had "put him away"!  Richard and I got in the car and drove 3 states away to help him.  Lets just say I was really sandwiched in this one!  Caught between step families, my brother, My mom, My children and my husband. It was ugly. 
 I was thankfully raised to honor, respect and take care of my elders - my family - the ones I love.  I can only hope that lessons can be and maybe have been learned for the next generations - XYZ! That would be the kids, and the babygrands!

I'll have to blog more about this one - I see here I have journals full of experiences to share! WOW!

Yes!  I guess as I look through old journals, I see the Sandwich!  The "Silent or Good Warriors generation" and the "Generations X, Y and Z" (it looks like from the research I've done) with me, the tail end of the "Baby Boomers - Sandwiched" in the middle!!!

I leave a prayer and a heart felt atta girl for any and all who are of the "sandwich" generation!  It's a tuff job to take on the responsibility of other people in your home no matter older or younger - God Bless you say your prayers!!!

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2012/09/the-caregiver?lang=eng&query=parents
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/28/empty-nest-syndrome-doesnt-exist_n_2566671.html?utm_hp_ref=sandwich-generation

Out with the Old and In with the New Year ... 2013!

Hardin Family Knows how to Have Fun!

I'm on this kick this year that I'm going to be fun! And together with my daughter we are learning to not be so intense.

On New Years Eve we just happen to have the perfect setting for learning this new skill!  It is a skill I've come to believe!!!  No tension in the room, No crying or pouting, No hovering over anyone, No yelling, No drinking, No WAIT there was indeed COMPETITION! YES!!! It can be done!!!  

And here as I sit blogging away I remember it and think about it 23 days later, it still makes me smile.  What a great night we had!  I love it when families invite us to their home and I can feel the spirit of love, harmony and Christ.  And When music is involved, cuz that for sure is one that was, is and will always be lacking in my home - cannot carry a tune nor read any music.  My kids will only know me for "Now the Day is Over", before family prayer!!!  Anyway I got lost there for a min, I was thinking about going to Teares at Christmas and singing, feeling love, harmony and the Christ also in their home I guess, Ben's on my mind today  :)  anyway ... moving on  ... I miss Amric ;)

 

Games are tuff, it seems it might create anxiety or some sort of tiff.  Someone might be mad they lost, feel insecure they aren't the best or sad to not be included.  But not here, not in this Hardin home not on New Years Eve 2012.  Tooooo Bad I pass my headaches on to my kids.  We lost Austin for awhile there!

As Amric was already set apart to go into the MTC we were really striving to "feel the Spirit" of the thing and not bring on negative vibes - so what to do for New Years Eve, he was Already missing a ton of Football - (that was a sour note already! - so many puns)!!!  Anyway we were grateful to be included in our "In-Laws" planned, organized and WAY FUN night.

Blowing up balloons, telling stories, stacking plastic cups, and werewolves are just a few of the CRAZY things that went on, not to mention that a meal in itself was served every hour after 6 o'clock. 

Secretly beforehand My thoughts we how could any of this be fun without the TV?  Really?? Without watching the ball drop at midnight?  TRADITION!

But look at me - 23 days later I'm still smiling...  Thank You Hardin/Sobczak Family.

OUT WITH 2012 and in with 2013

As I am writing this I'm reminded of that old saying "whatever you are doing at midnight you'll be doing all year'!  

Well, I was with family and I was having fun.  New starts were everywhere!

At one point in the night we wrote habits we wanted to break or "something we wanted to rid ourselves of" and then placed them on this pile of limbs.... we burned Out the Old Habits with fire and brought in new habits with smiles and hope.  So maybe that is why I keep subconsciously thinking this year that ... I AM DANG FUN and I WANNA BE WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE FUN TOO!  I'm gonna have some fun :) 

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.” 

and that's how I felt at midnight 2012-2013

 and again now at midnight!!!!

Which way Do You Lean???

 SO this morning I watched The Lorax.  Really it was the 3rd time I tried to watch it, sure not my fav!!!  I just want to document the ONE THING I got out of it

"Which way do trees fall?  They fall the way they lean.  Be careful which way you Lean!"

It goes to the Root of my belief system!  Tradition.

• T =  Teach with the spirit and Keep your sense of HUMOR!  about yourself and EVERYONE around You.
• R =  Reason for rules and regulation Be Obedient.
• A = Axiom; "Birds of a feather flock together"  and "REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!"
• D = Dogma; faith is not a perfect knowledge, hoped for and not seen
• I = Instill the desire to be proud of where you come from
• T = Tongue is sharper than a beating
• I = Implant roots that will grow and hold strong
• O = knOw when to share your Opinion and when not too! But hold on to the ONE thing that you believe in.
• N = Never give up ;)  on Yourself or the ones you LOVE ((or even if you don't love them))  

because ...   unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing is going to get better and all your trees will fall and you will have nothing to show for your life. All your roots will be pulled from the ground and your traditions will not be re-rooted!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PF0h7oqUEQ