Mesa Third Ward Reunites

#Perspective #Roots #Family #Time #Closure

And Not One Picture! (Really? me! the queen of pictures from the past!)

Thoughts on seeing, hugging and reuniting with friends from the past....

Pre - anxiety, fear and excitement - joy if you will...

But more than that, (believe me or I wouldn't have showed up) is the "feeling", the feeling I remember of being there in that building WITH them.  I lived in this ward boundary and attended church with these people for over half of my life (as of now!) and maybe especially because we have moved so much since we have been married I am overwhelmed with
love and desire to be there, to see them.
The feeling that the past is the past and for good or bad these are my people and that I accept them now and forever (of course should mean that they in turn will accept me)!!!

side notes...

I met at Urlene and Mikes we talked and talked and talked.  Amazing how without seeing each other for so long we can just pick right back up. I love her! We talked so long our husbands were very bored with the same stories and not that impressed with the fond memories of past boyfriends, memories of 3rd ward and family - Funny the different perspectives!

At the reunion...Lyle ask me if I remembered all the pictures of the Bishops on the wall in the Bishops office? I answered without a thought "Yes indeed I was in there alot"!  

I really missed the sliding glass doors to the overflow!  You know I was married in that chapel and had my reception in that cultural hall.

I Had a great conversation with Sister Willis. See I still say "Sister" my mom demanded respect that way - no one (well except Betty) was ever called by their first name. Still to this day it's hard for me to call people by their first name!!!

It was so cool to just "chat" with old friends. To hug the boy I sent on a mission. To hear the voices of leaders. To see adults that were children I taught and babysat. To see Tyson and meet his son. To know that life moves on lives and families are created and to be reminded that without the atonement life would be harder, uglier and less successful, joyful complete.

Back to my thoughts on the reunion...

I wanted so badly to see them all (this village that helped raise me) and "feel" something.  I wanted that so much that I paid lots of money to fly across the states to spend an hour and a half in their presence.  I'm not saying that every memory I had there is a good one, but because of them I am who I am. 
I have none of my immediate "growing up" family left, so I think that my association here is needed that "these are my people" these "are my roots" and yes I indeed believe that what I have in these relationships is family; the Parent figures; Harvey and Betty Green, Sophie and Lloyd Harper, Betty and Stan Abbott, Corrine and Fred Dewitt, Brenda and Terry Reed, and Liana Willis,  these are they who along with Bishop Watson, and Bishop and Toni Brown, Ella O'loughlin and Mary Jepson(who have all moved on to a better world) well, these are they who raised me.  So yes to go to a ward reunion for me was a "Family Reunion". 
With those parental figures also comes all the "siblings" - Urlene, Susan, Lyle, Sheila, Debbie, Jane, Renee, Valerie, Julie, April, Rhea, Terry, Bobby, Eldon, Mark, Andra, Tanya, Richard, Elmers, Tyson, Stacy, Tera, Marion, Taun the Jensens, the browns, the Flakes, The Sanchez, The Starks, The Abbotts, Ronnie, Timmy, Kristen, Tom, The Farnsworths, The Rowleys, Brother Ball!!!.... just to name a few who each one in one way or another had something to do with who I am today.  
Then the only "blood family" I have there in Arizona; Matthew and Olaf - I was SUPER blessed they showed up ... we are all of the "McCoy Clan" since 1961 that is left to REPRESENT at the Mesa Third Ward reunion. My sister had ties there and brought her sons up always including them in the Third Ward from blessings and baptism to friendships and campouts.
Which brings me to Iris!!!  WOW! As I looked around the room and silently remembered the people, the experiences, the building, that room and that stage, the pictures and slide show and comments... Mom you were woven in that tapestry inside and out. I couldn't see anyone that you didn't affect the life of in one way or another. I saw People that you raised.  People that you taught. People that you served with. Thank you mom for being my strongest root, my beacon in a storm. You Mom, were the light and example for me and so many others.  From Relief Society to Primary. From Young Women to Ward Camp Outs. Come Hell or High Water you were there to serve and support all of us. I watched that! I observed you in your actions of; "Observe and then Serve" way before it was "popular"!!  From you I learned so many many things and I can honestly say; 
"My Mother Taught me".  I'm sure many there the 25th day of October 2014 could have said the same.  You were indeed missed.  I felt your presence your arms around us, your unconditional love right there in that big hall on that evening.

Post - peace, closure, gratitude, joy in remembrance...

it was more about the people than the building, (I guess it does help to have the village!!) it is feelings and the bonds felt therein.  It was the traditions. The Unity. It was the Things our Mothers taught us, remembered with love, woven into it all was the Gospel that was felt, testified to and taught there.  

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!!

I "POaST" about my life .... Festivals ...

 The Dance Festivals

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints


When I was ages 12 - 18 the Mutual organization I went to every week (youth group) held Speech Festivals, Roadshows (mini plays that traveled from church building to church building) and dance festivals that I could be involved in.  I loved it, I really did. I liked giving talks I was in speech classes always in junior High and High School, believe it or not I had a memory back then and memorized speeches that were informative, poetic, drama driven, and testimonial.  The roadshows were super fun and drove our leaders crazy because getting thru each and every practice might have driven them a little insane!!!  But the Dance Festivals they were huge back then and even traveled to Salt Lake - it was Clean outta sight!!!

Roadshow

When the boys and girls are 12 they participate in dances such as Square Dancing and line dances!  I was highly insulted because I wanted to dance with the Boys!  But the guidelines are such in the Church that boys and girls dance together after they can date! Well that abit exaggerated group saturday night dances are held and can be attended when you are 14!  It sounds absolutely ridiculous writing it out here but thems the rulz and I lived and died by them, or I didn't!

this is me when I was in the all girls square dance the pic on the right is Sheila, me and Deb

All I can tell you is these activities hold great memories and bonds with people I may never see again but influenced me for eternity friends and leaders that went and still go the extra mile to serve, teach and go the extra mile.   If you have the opportunity to either be in one of these as a youth or a leader I suggest you jump on it #ShareGoodness!   I had the best time dancing, I loved it no matter when where or how.  I may have mentioned that a few times in this life story of mine. (well maybe not I note here that it is not already a search/label word I need to go and fix that!!!).   Dancing was my life from as long as I can remember and thru my college years.  Anyway...I regress....

We danced both of these dance festivals at the Sun Devil Stadium and some groups were chosen to go to Salt Lake and perform, I went one year to watch.  It was most exciting.

Bobby, me, Sheila, Deb (why do you have curlers in your hair?!), Jane, Leslie,Susan,Danny,Christine,David,Lyle,Timmy,Terry and Eldon
Pretty cool I did that without making it bigger or looking them up!

 THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!

I do not know why Urlene isn't in the group pic, maybe she was younger and they had a different group.

Want and Desire

Preface
Yesterday I wrote about not wanting to go to church anymore.  The word WANT then, was on my mind all night and day! I desired to find why.  I see slight differences in the words Want and Desire both by definition and in the scriptures, this is the result.

My Psalm of Want and Desire!

I Acknowledge thee Oh LORD, I know that thou exists and without thee I am nothing. Lost for sure. Help me.
I Come to Thee in remiss of my mixed emotions, wants and desires. Help me.
I search the WORD for answers and guidance. I seek to know Thee and Thy ways. Help me.
I want so many things that I forget to acknowledge what I have. Forgive me.
I forget to see the truth and the honest desires of my heart. Hear me.
Then recognizing the foundation of my life and the Joy that is therein. I Thank Thee.
I am thankful that the desires have been met of family, freedom, health, and that of being able to go to Church and worship when, where and however I can. Forgive me.
For truly my desire is to Live this Life completely and to find Joy in it with Family and Friends. Thank Thee.
I want in my desire to be fearless and take courage. Hear me.
I desire to see my family on the other side and want for us here in this life still; to be restored as a family forever and for always, to be forgiven and united. I Thank Thee
I want in friendship and desire to be a friend, Help me.
I want to know thee better and understand thy ways I desire to be at Thy side and at Thy feet when You come again, Help me.

At age 8 I did want to be baptized, I desire now to live up to my covenants, Please, Help me!
I am wanting in my habits for good, Forgive me.
I desire to have a change of heart, to not be a sluggard, slothful and greedy but willing to commit, and not willfully rebel, to be honest and have integrity not have the want to be commanded in all things, but the Desire to Daily Choose to follow the commandments. Hear me.
I want to give wholly my sacrifice and offerings; in doing so I desire to be humble, simple and endure to the end. To not want to look back longingly but instead go and do, showing my desire through actions to plant seeds having the desire to see the roots and harvest of the future that is Thy Will for me, I thank Thee.  Amen.

I've never not wanted to go to Church

Knowing that I am a sinner and knowing church is for the sinner then believing it's also for the saint 

I always want to go to church, I never not wanted to go to church. Worthy to be there or not alone or with family. Since I can remember, I liked how it felt.

When we first moved from Colorado to Arizona I was a child of 3 or 4
My sister was a senior in High School and VERY upset that our parents had
taken her away from her friends, her school indeed her very Life!
She did not want to go to church.
I remember standing in that motel that Sunday looking up at her and saying
"Strangers are only friends we haven't met yet"    Now I ask myself - How on earth did I  know that at such a young age?  I believe it was a gift given to me at birth.

The Child, The Daughter

I have never not wanted to go to church, to please Mom - maybe, but it was more than that.

When I was young I went to church with my mom, my brother for awhile, but not my Dad, sister or the eldest brother.  In my world the only thing that brought my mother happiness, where I really remember seeing her glow and be at peace show happiness was going to church.  My daddy didn't go to church, he told everyone he was Mormon but he wasn't, he wasn't because he didn't want to go to church.  The sad part for me was no body knew my Dad in fact most believed I was being raised by a single mom for one reason or another.  The happy part for me was those people, those church people became my family.  They helped raise me.
Recently I realized that the act of going to church actually taught me several things.  For My Mother to whom I am so grateful  - for it is she who took me to church every Sunday.  In that ONE thing I learned the importance of so many other things; being on time, listening, to look nice "because how you dress is a reflection of how you feel about yourself", Mom taught me to "sit still and listen", she allowed no snacks (which taught me self discipline or at least the need of it!), if given an assignment to fulfill I did it - being taught "you don't say no to a calling" and "responsibility",  she insisted on no gum - she said "it looks sloppy", the reassurance of a good hand shake and a smile that "it is polite to greet people with kindness and sincerity",  the art of speaking in public, to sing, to pray and to be part of something bigger than myself.  All lessons learned because I went to church. 

The Youth, The Daughter

I have never not wanted to go to church, even just for me!

Even when I wasn't choosing to DO the things My Mother thought that I Should be doing.  Even when I wasn't doing what I thought I Should be Doing.  I always went to church.  I always Wanted to go to church.  Looking back and recognizing my issue with self discipline I'm thinking church is a place I can learn, feel, recognize to be the only place I can see that I exercised self discipline.  That at church, for how ever long it was, I engaged in self discipline in lots of different aspects.  Because my Mother taught me to go to church every Sunday.

The Young Adult

The Sinner  I always want to go to church, alone.

For about 7 years I ward hopped!  Jumping ship as soon as someone knew who I was.  I didn't want to get to close, let anyone in, be hurt, let them down, be asked to do anything.  I felt like a failure.  I wasn't living up to the high expectations I had been taught that were expectations of Mom and of myself.  The expectations I had of myself, not even just the ones I knew that My Mother had of me. But I in fact still ... always wanted to go to church.  And I went.  I followed my sister to Rocky Point where she almost one handedly started her own ward up and we went to church! I jumped from ward to ward in Provo, California and Mesa. Being a single young adult and going to church!

The Young Married

The Sinner and striving saint!  I always want to go to church, with my family.

I married a man who loved me.  A man who accepted me for me, who knew and loved everything about me.  I have learned over the years, especially in the last few years you can't do any better than that.  In the beginning I tried to push him away.  He didn't go to church, he smoked and drank - I didn't and remember... I always wanted to go to church.  He went with me to church and has continued to do so for, well coming up on 34 years (2014)!  I will forever be in debt to a woman who knew what I needed and didn't follow the spirit by the book but drew outside of the lines and gave me a job in the church that kept me, reminded me of my covenants and goals and the need of going to church.  Being young married with kids and jobs and responsibilities is hard, tiresome and tricky to balance.  Going to church when you don't want to remember all the things you both teach and learn with the choice of going and of not going!  It's not only about you at this point!!!!

The Mom in the nursery, the primary, Mutual, Scouts, Sunday School, or Sacrament Mtg.

I always wanted to go to church with my family.  I taught my children the same things taught to me by my mother while doing the ONE thing ... going to church!  Sit still, be on time, wear a white shirt or a nice dress, don't run in the chapel, don't whisper while others are speaking, use your "church voice" and on and on you get my drift!  I hope and pray they always want to go to church. I have a testimony that Jesus is the Christ. I know that going to church and to the Temple are uplifting, The commandments and as I have stated teach more than just the act of going to church.  I believe in families being forever. I know that Joseph Smith went to a grove away from the busy hub-bub of the world he lived in to find a quiet place and pray and ask, (because he consistently read in his scriptures and in them was directed to ask questions) his Heavenly Father what church he should go to.  I have a knowledge of the atonement and have felt the burden of sin be lifted from me.  I know the Book of Mormon is truly a witness of family, a history of peoples in the new world and Jesus Christ.  I have lost every member of my immediate family and could not have gotten thru any of that with out the knowledge of the plan of salvation.

The Wife, the semi empty nester. I don't want to go to church.

We have moved again, for maybe the 40th time in our marriage.  I have two bedrooms in this house set up to "look" as if I still have children at home.  But I don't.  I am busy organizing, doing family histories, writing missionaries, and ... well thats about it.  We go to church, we don't know anyone, only one person has spoken to me in 4 months (2014).  I swore this time, this move I would act more aggressive be more "in your face" and "I want to know you and fit in".  But I haven't.  It's even harder to do without kids and without seminary.  Richard has gone with me to Sunday School, but he too has not had one person talk to him.  They gave us a calling in the ward, that of being a missionary - which I think I said I would do, maybe even covenanted that I'd do when I got baptized back when I was 8 years old! I ask myself; "Aren't you (when I say you I mean I) already a missionary if you are a family member, friend, home teacher, visiting teacher???"  I have talked to people about my religion. It is especially easier when my sons were on their missions in Spain, Ohio and California.   I have taught classes and worked hard at being a "missionary" in all my days, thinking; "I hope one thing I say might convert one".  But this calling, working with my husband, as missionaries it's not going so good and we find ourselves not wanting to go to church.  My heart is heavy and sad and I'm not sure where to go next with this one.  I feel failure and heaviness so much in my life already, I'm not sure I need this to add to that very long list. I am lost.  Because I don't want to go to church.

The Adult, The senior citizen, the wife, the mom, the grandmother. I want to go to church

I was asked a question today about going to church and it prompted me to look for this old blog post.  In rereading it I am so grateful that I wrote it and yet again it is confirmed to me that writing is a blessing, a gift and completely necessary for my survival.  You'll be surprised to learn that we have moved twice since I originally wrote this and thus attended church in a couple new places.  An update on the missionary calling - I did all that I could do in the which I could control, without him because he just wasn't into it at that point in his life. Also I read a book front to back which I hadn't done in years; The Power of Everyday Missionaries, a reminder that we really need to endeavour daily to be positive happy people projecting to others what we positively believe in and know to be true.  From then on I've been ask to be a "grandma at church" and teach little children, it's had its ups and downs, my issues with attachment and anxiety being the draw backs here!  Because I never had the aunts, the uncles, the grandparents or cousins to bond with I recognize and appreciate the need for the church family.  The thing I've learned is to forget myself and go to work (I think I've heard that before!?) When I sit home and mope about being fat or missing the "good ole days" with my seminary kids, being sad cuz my childhood family is dead or wishing my kids live closer and that they all wanted to go to church (sidenote; that is when my mom would shut down and be depressed - those days when she blamed herself for the lack of church in the lives of her children, thats when the light left her), well that too is when I am thinking only of myself, it does me NO GOOD. But when I serve, study, endeavour to be something positive, remember that I can only control myself and and remember the things I learned becasue I never didn't want to go to church, thats when life is better for me.  I am so glad that I, only for a twinkling of an eye didn't want to go to church and hope and pray that I, moving forward, sinner or saint status ALWAYS WANT TO GO TO CHURCH as my Mother taught me for this is MY CHOICE!!!
 You hear me make it your one thing Believe in going to church every sunday!!! Wherever you are Sinner and Saint! #gotochurch #sinnerandsaint #familyfirst #forgetyourselfandgotowork #rememberwhoyouare  Also ONE MORE THING!  look around you when you get there ask yourself "Who looks like they don't want to be there" and go say "HI!" #speakup #bekind #gotochurch  

Patience in ALL things!!

once upon a time hubby was called to teach primary! the boys age 10 and 11!  He being new to Sunday School, expected the children to be well behaved and reverent!  To answer the questions presented as they were asked in the manual!!  These boys were not behaving that way it says here in the paper journal!!!  Hubby slammed his hand down on the table and demanded that they all "shut up"!  --

Those kids did an about face!  I was like freaking out and explaining we don't do that we can't do that we have to LOVE THEM!  Those boys grew to love hubby, and he them.  My how time flies that was 30 ish years ago, that would make them in their 40's -- that is just crazyness!!!  I remember that day and those kids just like it was yesterday.    When teaching it isn't the discipline, the preparing of the lesson the handouts that create the long lasting memory on either end of the learning scale - (the teacher or the learner) but instead it's the time, the one on one, the love that is applied to the relationship of student and teacher.


I have had some wonderful wonderful examples of great teachers.  Teachers like Toni Brown, Betty Abbott, Jill Beecroft, Mrs Hunsaker, Brother Kendrick, Iris McCoy, Sister Rowley and Brother and Sister Farnsworth these were teachers that I knew loved me.  From them I hope to have learned to be a great teacher too.This doesn't even touch the people that were just great examples and taught me outside the class room - but thats another blog!!!