Forgive how bout Forget - WISE

My Mom!

I've been thinking about forgiveness.  My Mother always said that I was a forgiving person, that she in fact wished she could forgive as easily as I do.  Well Mom I don't think I am as good as it as you thought, seems I've been holding some stuff in thats bringing me down!

The scriptures I read today taught me, jumped out at me - I just want to mention here them here

• Judge not that ye be not judged, condem not and ye shall not be condemed, forgive: and ye shall be forgiven (Luke 6:37 in the New Testament)

• But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.  (Matthew 6:14)
• Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.  (Matthew 18:22).

"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury".   EH Chapin

Debbie is there somewhere!

My friend Debbie (who I'd beat on the head with a spelling book and switched the heads of her barbies so I could have the cool ones, all forgivable offenses, I would think) stole my boyfriend and came to a party with him with his class ring on, I was teenage shocked and horrified.  I had had no clue, I felt it was a horrible feeling to be betrayed like that from both of them I pledged to myself to never again be conned like that, to trust, to let down my guard.  One day I had to go say I was sorry for being mad at her so that I could live with myself, she and I sat and talked for hours. We laughed about it later.  Eventually we shared stories about our kids and husbands.  She died of cancer she was one of my best friends, what would have I done if I hadn't said "I'm sorry"?
Once my Mom totally embarrassed me (well that was more than once) but this time in front of my friends; by jerking me out of a car and kicking my butt all the way into the house (not to mention here that I had lied about where I was and made her crazy with worry).  
I can remember having been hurt at girls camp, in show choir, being let down by leaders who shouldn't have done what they did, being crushed because my dad didn't tell me he loved me til he kicked me out the door at 18, the Man at the church who told my brother never to come back to a youth activity with Wranglers on ever again - he did not, he did not ever step a foot in that church again except for to sing God Be With You Til We Meet Again with Mom on his way to Vietnam.  Being so mad at my brother I didn't talk to him for 10 years for shaking my son ridiculously in his drunken state.  Should I hold a grudge should I forgive? I should've not only learned to forgive, but to forget?  Or how bout this - should I be forgiven for yelling at my in-laws, my children, my husband for stealing a watch or cigarettes for my boyfriend, for letting my kids watch movies they shouldn't or gossiping about how dumb people are - (Yes I think I just has a little confession and forsake moment!!!) 
I want to be WISE!!!! and forgiven!
"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget". thomas Szasz

Wisdom is knowledge rightly applied I say!  I've had a couple very dear friends get mad at me and completely stop talking to me, and I never knew why. Do I hold on to it? Do I learn from these experiences?  I also say - People shouldn't stop talking.  People should never just be silent (well never is an absolute so in reality I suppose their is a time for silence)  but in this instance people need to speak up say whats on their mind when they don't they do things they regret.  "I don't care" isn't appropriate either when friends and family are involved. 

I found this quote today too that sums up all my thoughts;

When i say i don't care it either means:
-i'm pretending
-i'm joking
-i'm clueless
-i dont' know the situation
-i can't be bothered
-i hate the person alot
-i'm too busy thinking of other stuff
-i want to sleep now
-i'm too full of pride
or
-i REALLY don't want to care anymore.

So say those words don't keep me guessing, my mind has neurons that trigger and immediately GO TO THE WORST PLACES.  How do you forgive me or me you if we don't even know what happened?  

I write for therapy so none of this could be making any sense at all.  Just know this I'm evolving, ever learning, trying to apply life experiences, to forgive, care and move on ;).

Iris and Tim Michael

Kelly & Iris 5 years sick

I guess I need to wrap this up! Life is hard, trials have come my way.  I've been letting them weigh me down (literally like 40 pounds worth!).  My Great Nephew contacted me this week (A surprise of great satisfaction)and ask to be a part of my brothers life, (his grandfather) or at least to have something of his to know him by.  Short and to the point people did stupid things, and now My Oldest brother is dead (he made stupid mistakes as a son, brother, husband & Father), My great nephews father is dead (people killed him on a street corner), my niece is a drug addict (allegedly) and hurt us so badly when my brother died (long story), how all of this and the death of My Mothers 2 middle children (Judyann & Tom) lead her to be so depressed and angry it made her crazy sick, how for 5 years I nursed and cared for her and literally watched her give up life.  I "feel like" I could have some grudges and wish some revenge on some people.  I'm sure we all could go on and on about taking offense and in some way being wronged. I stop now with these few examples and really for the future (I will not be offended and if I am I'm gonna tell you why and how - well I hope I will!) because if anything from writing this I have learned I've made some mistakes and need forgiveness myself.  See Matthew 18:15-17 it gives a 3 step program on how to forgive!)

But Today I want to learn from the next generation (no pictures! I don't want to embarrass them, they might not forgive me!!) - I want to hear my nephew ask for things of his fathers and his grandfathers because he never knew them  - an act of letting go of grievances and handed down bitter family stories.  Also to learn from my daughter who stands up and fights for herself and is so doing without being petty, speaking badly of others or holding a grudge.

I pray my Mother can be right about me and that I can be forgiving, let go of the past, forgo revenge, not cause injury to any others, always keep striving to be a friend a family member who like my mother loved me unconditionally forgetting about everything wrong I did to her. 

I share this hoping to help anyone else who holds a grudge, who says "I don't care", who is careless with family and friends; stop it, don't pass down negative traditions - for if we don't forgive how do we expect to be forgiven and what will become of our heritage?

thank you kids (all of my kids out there that teach me!) I council; be wise in that forgiveness remember only enough to not make the same mistakes ever again.

I feel better! I hope you do too!!!

HAIR!

Ok I'm all caught up!!! with my blog entries ...

Wish I could get the scanner to work.

A really cute entry of amric getting his hair cut for the first time has been left out!! well, maybe over the year another reason for that will be needed!!!

I too am in need of a hair cut! I told Elder Georg I would not cut my hair while he is gone on his mission it's almost been 21 months!!! I am in serious need of a hair cut!!!

gotta shed a few more pounds with that hair cut too!!!

But Oh, My that was a wonderful day with the grandkids!!!

Time moves quickly take a moment to breathe and enjoy!

WOW! I so feel that time is flying by me with no regard.  This morning my thoughts are just of how fast time is moving I'm wondering what am I doing with it?  What are my grandbabies doing today? Do they know me? Are my children prepared for what is ahead of them? Does my family know how very much I love them? Is my house clean? What did I do with my yesterday? Am I doing everything I can and know how to do to one day meet my maker!???!???!

I recall the parable of the 10 virgins in the New Testament;

"we are living in a time of urgency. We are living in a time of spiritual crisis. We are living in a time close to midnight. There is an urgency to meet the worldwide spiritual crisis through action now. It can only be accomplished by performance. Procrastination is a deadly weapon of human progress. Thank God there is no need of a shortage in the oil of preparedness. It is accumulated at will, drop by drop, in righteous living.

Jesus, our Redeemer, has given to us for our use in this day a powerful parable to stress the importance of constant personal preparedness. It is known as the parable of the Ten Virgins, a warning to all mankind everywhere.

“Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
“And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.
“They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
“But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

“While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

“And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
“Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.
“And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

“But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

“And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
“Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
“But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

“Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.” Matthew 25: 1-13 

It can be properly and appropriately concluded that the ten virgins represent the people of the Church of Jesus Christ, and not alone the rank and file of the world. The wise and foolish virgins, all of them, had been invited to the wedding supper; they had knowledge of the importance of the occasion. They were not pagans, heathens, or gentiles, nor were they known as corrupt or lost, but rather they were informed people who had the saving, exalting gospel in their possession, but had not made it the center of their lives. They knew the way, but were foolishly unprepared for the coming of the bridegroom. All, even the foolish ones, trimmed their lamps at his coming, but their oil was used up. In the most needed moment there was none available to refill their lamps. All had been warned their entire lives.
Today thousands of us are in a similar position. Through lack of patience and confidence, preparation has ceased. Others have lulled themselves to sleep to a complacency with the rationalization that midnight will never come. The responsibility for having oil in our personal lamps is an individual requirement and opportunity. The oil of spiritual preparedness cannot be shared. The wise were not unkind or selfish when they refused oil to the foolish in the moment of truth. The kind of oil needed by all of us to light up the darkness and illuminate the way is not shareable. The oil could have been purchased at the market in the parable, but in our lives it is accumulated by righteous living, a drop at a time..."  -Marvin J. Ashton

I pray to be ready. To have a lamp filled with oil.  "They say"; don't worry about the small stuff, but really it's the small stuff that brings us down. We have to be on guard constantly to avoid, to repent, to be prepared to face the world each and every moment so that we can not turn away from that which we know to be right.  My family tells me "a blog is to be short, no one will read them because they are too long".  Well maybe not, but I'm learning alot from my own research, my own daily journaling and I believe in the end we are judged by our own book or books!! see Revelation 20:12  And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

This morning when I thought of time and how fast it was moving, I thought of my grandbabies and how far away from me they are...I hope someday to know them better but maybe thru my "Book", or Blog they will know me someday and the things in which I believe! 

29 years ago today I knelt at an alter and was sealed for Time and ALL eternity to my huby, this man that loves me, forgives me, is so good to me that he seeks everyday for something to do to please me and make my life better .  Even in marriage it's not the big things that make them fall or brings them down, it's the small things.  I truly believe that and am grateful everyday for the Man that I love and that he Loves me.

sadly this is the only picture we have of that day, we thought it was cold (I say thought, because it was Arizona! I live in the sub temps now - NOW I know what cold is!)  anyway we hurried away instead of relishing in the moment.  again I say; Time moves quickly take a moment to breathe and enjoy!

and then crop your pictures better than this - nice luggage in the pic-duh!!!!