This is what I heard!

Recently I had the opportunity of listening to and seeing the leaders of the

  Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints  

Thinking it was a pretty uplifting conference I thought I'd share my notes!

Plus it's just good for me to have here to refer back to!

Speaker   Promised Blessings (if then Statements)   We were taught (compare to Look Up in the OT)

Speaker   Promised Blessings (if then Statements)   We were taught (compare to Look Up in the OT)

Speaker   Promised Blessings (if then Statements)   We were taught (compare to Look Up in the OT)

I think it a deep thought that in this world we actually need some place to teach and remind us to just be good and while doing so just be nice to others and to ourselves.

#Endeavour  #endeavortobesmart  #April #MyEndeavourProject   because of #MyHappinessProject

Why I write! and Why it's in a Blog...

TOO MUCH INFORMATION, thats your CRY!

Writing your own history is very insightful
you think you know everything about yourself
and read things that you think uncool!
To acknowledge would only pull things down from the shelf
question and answers hidden deep in the mind
buried for protection and of friends, family and my own heart!
but also enlightens and a help to Remember my own part --
and the things that Mother taught and the lessons to find.
I notice that the world indeed has influence, the media I acknowledge every year it has it's place -
deciding and discerning are lessons and standards along life's journey that are in front of my face!
This blog is the prophecy fulfilled of the Book of Life
presented to learn, grow and too, hopefully 
listen and heed to avoid depression and strife --
to lend testimony and knowledge of the Atonement of Christ.
From the experiences had by family before;  which
will bring you closer to each other and turn on the switch
so that questions you'll ask and on your knees you will turn
for inspiration and guidance from Heavenly Father you'll yearn.
Don't judge how I write, but know it's how I talk!
Bishop Watson told me that once, I accepted it as a compliment!
Look beyond the words and story; for the feelings take stock --
the recognition I give to the leaders, friends and family that to me were sent, helping me along the road of Life, 
as often the road is a valley of great decent.
From the roots of the tree to the branches and limbs; 
Unconditional love always wins! of that I testify of that I am sure, 
Good is worth living for, looking for, striving for and that ain't no lie!
Each year (and each post) has a story, each picture a memory lent.
I post it now ... and find yet more;  so to that year I add --
thus please go back and read, as in life each story changes over time as an others' perspective lends itself to knowledge helping the process of improvement a tad!
I know I go on; but, have you met my Mom? If you haven't keep reading
if you have you know what I mean!  you will know us both;
we love our family and strive to climb 
to progress and achieve to know and return --  to you we are pleading...
This life is short and eternity long from the Savior we receive redemption,
"It's all or nothing!" thats my brand; may we use courage and faith
 to choose the best road, and from hell receive exemption!


so it's not great, but it's from the heart! sometimes I just have to document for myself why I am doing this I POaST about my life thing! I still don't know how to connect one POaST to the other so I am only doing it with the Labels, the keywords!  
WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL -YOU"LL BE GLAD YOU DID! 






In the Book of Mormon we read from Alma 26

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/26?lang=eng

 11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength,nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

 12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak;therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

 13 Behold, how many thousands of our brethren has he loosed from the pains of hell; and they are brought to sing redeeming love, and this because of the power of his word which is in us,therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?

 14 Yea, we have reason to praise him forever, for he is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the chains of hell.

I POaST about my life ... 1972-1973 10th grade

Where to begin?

Lets start with the Music #Media ... the best ever in time! Anything you could play with "air guitar!"   8 tracks and Billboard Radio  ...  Here's my playlist....

Spirit in the Sky, songs like Dead Skunk, Killing me softly, I can see clearly now,

Just one look at you, Whats going on, 

any thing Paul Simon, Billy Joel, Pink Floyd, Carol King, Van Morrison, AeroSmith, Cher, CCR, ELO, Neil young, Jon Stewart, Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, Elton John, Steppenwolf, Stevie Wonder, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd Three Dog Knight (I had all of these posters in my room the dogs playing poker were my favorites) and Eric Clapton just to name a few
But then I had a whole different playlist for MowTown I still love it from the 60's especially for dances... Aretha Franklin, Sly and the Family Stone, Marvin Gaye, The Supremes, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Jackson Five, and Lionel Richie!  I would much prefer going over to Westwood and seeing my friends from Franklin for Dances!! 
Best dance and love music ever!!!

I can see that just conjuring up the names brings memories that have been buried pretty deep.  In fact I remember going to a few firesides that year where they would talk about music and the evil thereof! I would go home and give my records away, I don't look back longingly or do I?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8ZDMXvzzgQ  enough about that!

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1973/10/inspiring-music-worthy-thoughts?lang=spa&clang=eng

I seemed to miss class alot this year! We made lots of trips around town in Jims'  Chevy Biscayne.

The first day of school I was tempted to leave campus and miss a few classes and choose to do so!  That was the beginning of the end for me and High School.  Always go to class!  I am sure that I have a learning disorder!  Knowing that Then might have helped me, I don't know??? This is the year that Algebra was introduced into my life, I did not understand why we were adding numbers and Math was over for me, Mr Devo and I did not hit it off!  English, also, as you can tell I didn't do well here either, I liked to write, but I wanted to write the way I talk, as I do here in my blog.  That didn't go over well for getting good grades!  I did pretty good in my other classes and did enjoy going them except seminary.
During one hour a day (as in my freshmen year) I had Seminary, only now the building for seminary is directly across the street from the High School and between me and the building was 20 to 50 kids standing by burn barrels or in corn fields smoking, mocking me for "going to church" during school. Some times it was too hard for me to Stand Alone, stand tall, walk thru them and go into class.  At times I would join in the crowd versus just Inviting them to go with me!  Only once did I try to smoke too, I thought it would be great to have something to do with my hands! UKE! I hated it. It burned all the way down my throat and into my lungs. I wrote in my journal "I don't know why Daddy or anyone wants to smoke." ????  Out in the corn fields around the seminary building the kids would sit in circles and smoke pot.  I had good seminary teachers that looked after me.  Brother Kendrick especially, I knew that he noticed when I wasn't in class and that he cared about me as a person I always appreciated that.  When he wanted to talk to me about behavior he came to me, he didn't call my mom or send home letters like the school did!  All I remember is that he only wanted me to succeed, cared about me, and that he had a testimony of Jesus Christ and the Book Of Mormon!!

The kids I hung out with were not all members of the church although most that I went to church with for the most of part that were in my stake or ward went to High School with me.  The problem looking back, was when I started High School I had become friends with the kids that were older than me and brushed off Debbie, Jane Sheila and Urlene somehow. They could date, they could drive, they had jobs and could get away with not going to class, they had friends who didn't have the same standards that momma taught me! Like Dr. John sang... "it was the right place wrong time" -- nope it was all wrong!!! So if you can learn from me anything to help get thru High School learn this ... go to class it is the foundation of the rest of your lifes education and education matters in everything you do - for all of your learning it effects your family, career and self.

Ricky owned a Blue International Pickup 3 speed on the column.  He taught me how to drive it on the back roads of the canal banks during several classes that I'm sure I was suppose to be in!

This is the year that I met Jim, Robert and Ricky, hung out with Susan and Kristine, had Dance at school (yeah! so excited), hated choir, tried to be a missionary (a story for later), felt judged by the "mormons", rebelled a little because of it giving them something to talk about (didn't hurt them only hurt me- stupid move). My friends were all searching for who they were in this great big High School, some how I lost track of Sandy and Nancee, in fact half way thru the year Nancee told me she was getting married - WOW! was I ever shocked.  She who never ever wanted to get married, she wanted to go to school and be a Doctor.  
My sister is living in Rocky Point Mexico, my brothers have disappeared from the family social network, Vietnam doing a number on their psyche! Daddys' Horse riding Stable is running full swing on 1st St. in Tempe town!  Mom works 60-70 hours a week. Computers are being introduced to the office, she is taking classes at night too!
I race home often to beat the notes and report cards in the mail box before Mom gets them. She is often in "tune" with the fact that I haven't been to class (it's very annoying). 
My Mia Maid class is the 4 of us Debbie, Jane, Sheila and my self. The four of us however non associated at school have each others backs and know that we are one and truly friends more like sisters.  Urlene is staying with her Aunt I miss her. She plays Basketball can you believe it - "she's short" (recorded in my journal!!) "is all I'm saying! Man I miss her"  Went to the Temple to do work there I did the baptisms for 15 names.

I had Biology with Mr. Atkin (is that right?) anyway this kid Darcy King was in my class and the best Mormon I knew!  He was an example of what I wanted, but seem to not have. He and I went to CO-Ed dance, we doubled with Suz and Terry. We went to the dance and then out to eat at a little place in Mesa.  It was delicious! Then we  went to Farells for ice cream. I actually fell asleep on the way home, I guess I was so content.  What a great guy, Darcy was very real and very good and very nice. I believe he went with me as a gesture to "save me from myself" No one really liked where I was going with Ricky. My sister thought Darcy was the neatest!

I had several leaders that went the extra mile!  This one would pick me up and take me on dates!  I remember one particular time when we went to Bobs Big Boy on Main Street.  I wrote in my journal... "She was 'super cool and seemed to me to be a real lady" - 

Dear Kelly,

Portland Temple August 1989

You have been in my thoughts quite a bit these days. I thought I might write you a few lines to express some of them. During our association in MIA, I have watched you change from a child to be a beautiful young woman.  I have looked on while your thoughts grew into mature ideas. I have been happy during your accomplishments and I have cried during your heartbreaks. Although I have only known you for a year and a half I almost feel as though I have watched you grow up entirely. I am trying to say that over this short period of time I have grown very fond of you. Perilous times lie ahead, but I have faith and confidence that you will make the correct decisions in the years ahead.  Be strong enough to make the proper decisions under the guidance of your Heavenly Father. When the time comes be wise enough to follow the decisions of your worthy husband in that he has seen fir to place himself under the guidance of our Heavenly Father.

Scrutinize your dating partners - if they don't measure up, use extreme caution in allowing the relationship to proceed farther. Be choosy - don't cheat yourself of any of the wonderful things that can be yours.  I know that Heavenly Father is pleased when you care about other people enough to want to help them to do good. But Heavenly Father cares about you very much and he would not be pleased should you accidentally sacrifice yourself in such an endeavor. Although I will not be teaching you next year, I hope that we will continue to grow closer and that you will share your life with me.  If I can ever be of service to you in anyway, please let me do so. You are a beautiful person, Kelly.  I enjoyed having you in class very much. When time for marriage arrives I pray you will invite me to be with you in the beautiful Temple.  I very much desire to witness the beginning of your eternal marriage.

I love you --

Jill

She was very intuitive and insightful with her words and guidance. If only we could listen and heed the already planted, tried and true home grown testimonies of others.  The scriptures are full of these types of stories and examples of righteous leaders.

Hope, Peace Stewardship

WHERE DOES ONE TURN FOR HOPE & PEACE IN STEWARDSHIP

“Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord's spirit children and then rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments.

...Motherhood is a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord's work, a consecration and devotion to the rearing and fostering, the nurturing of body, mind, and spirit of those who kept their first estate and who came to this earth for their second estate to learn and be tested.” Spencer W. Kimball

In the weeee hours of the morning I had the remembrance of the annoyance I used to feel when my mother would get on her sad, martyred beat herself up soap box!  Cryin in her beer so to say about what a failure she was.  I had no empathy with or for her.

She would carry the burdens of the world on her shoulders and I thought for no reason at all.  She could not save the world, everybody in it or even her kids.  "Whatever mom" I would say to her, "they are all grown people, they decide they made the choice to live how they are ... not you - you can't do anything about that".

Well I tend to do the same thing now, so I guess I'm at least having empathy with her.  I worry about so many things that I can't control but like her mostly that I am a failure because of other peoples actions.  Which leads me to my AH HA Moment at the Weeeee hour of the Morning, I heard myself saying to her, "they are grown up people, they decide they make the coice to live how they are living".

All I can say is I did what I could when I could. I try not to be a hypocrite and I strive to teach of Christ and His teachings.  Now I pray.  For to think about it too long throws a person into deep despair - right where darkness grows darker and if dwelt upon I see more names than I can bare the burden of.  I want to have Hope and peace and not make myself crazy for “To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling... She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home--which is society's basic and most noble institution.” ― Spencer W. Kimball

SHORT AND SWEET just a little AH HA moment!

 http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/02/a-word-for-the-hesitant-missionary?lang=eng&query
http://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/02/balancing-truth-and-tolerance?lang=eng&query
http://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/02/balancing-truth-and-tolerance?lang=eng&query

If it's Not One Thing it's Another!

Hold On, Hold On the Light will come... (good song too Youtube it!)

I feel tension all the way over here in my basement!  
So, let me start with 3 Nephi 11:29 
For verily verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, behold this is not my doctrine...  

and ask for us to not have contention between us as a family members especially and then say a prayer before I start writing and before you start reading....

So to begin with I'm investigating, searching, learning, defining.... 

definition of Testimony - a statement or declaration, evidence of support of fact or statement of truth used under oath or in Faith of God 

definition of Polygamy is to have more than one spouse/Partners. But polygamy itself has different types or ways to live it...

• polygany: What most of religious sectors practice,Man with multiples wives, and can be pre-determinated amount of wives (like Islam) or undetermined number of wives (like Bible)
• Polyandry: Women with multiples husbands, isnt so commum but it is practice in certain cultures( in Asia and africa)and some pagan cults
• Polyamory: is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Many contend that it is distinct from both swinging (which often emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational) or with 
• Polysexual (which is attraction towards multiple genders and/or sexes) encompassing or characterized by many different kinds of sexuality not simplified by the term bi-sexual.

Ok so see I'm already learning! and this is just how I have to do this  - be patient with me and Thank you for asking questions - for I am slothful and need causes, focus a push to go and study for the most part.  I do like learning, it's just such a task and requires so much concentration on my part (I think Ayris might have that gene too)!  

• Covenant: an agreement between God and Man, but they do not act as equals in the agreement.  God gives the conditions for the covenant, and men (Or women) agree to do what he asks them to do. God then promises certain blessings for their obedience.  Much like an earthly contract - you get something (electricity, house, car etc) promise to pay the bill, and if you don't the owner of the contract will turn it off or kick you out!  (see that's how I understand it or relate to it!).
• http://www.lds.org/ensign/1985/08/what-i-hope-you-will-teach-your-children-about-the-temple?lang=eng
• Service:Care given or work done for the benefit of God or others. As we serve others we serve God.
• LORD - all caps in the Bible = Jesus Christ

Ok I'm reading links and blogs and web pages  -  Can I just say - Really I am grateful that I am a simple minded person.  That I am blessed with a seed of Faith already in me - I know that I am, I have to have been to be where I am at in my life spiritually, I am grateful for that blessing.

Tuesday night we went to the Temple, this time I went with the intention of getting answers!  We are taught to go with a specific question, I don't always do that but I did on Tuesday...

• One of my Questions was Why do we do this, go to the Temple? Why do we come here and do the same thing over and over again.  But then we go to church every sunday and do the same thing there to right?  I never question that?
• my second question came from seminary - Why does the Church get a bad rap, bad press you know look awful and nonsensical in the media?

I must try to explain that I felt totally drained when the session was over.  The first impression I had was "We come to the Temple to give service." (Like real words someone talking to me in my head.)  It's a sacrifice of time to go and do this.  It does take an effort and is rewarding, it brings peace to my soul.  Because each time when I go back I am going in place of someone else, it truly is an act of service.  I'm not very good at that (as I've discussed before) so YaY! go me I'm doing service.

So Ok that answered that for me. simple.

But then throughout the session I kept hearing seeing feeling more things like we are there to learn, we are taught about the creation, charity, choice and accountability, purpose on the earth, we make covenants to do those things and to be moral, The purpose of Joy but that we can't have it without sorrow, instructed what to do to get back to be with our families, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven.

• Today I was given an article an essay if you will that explained the idea of joy and sorrow to me and the consequence of choice and the reason for knowing and trusting God and Jesus Christ well enough to get thru and do all of this.  A small excerpt was stated like this and yet there was so much more good stuff (so I have included a link to it at the bottom of the paragraph....  
• "God apparently uses such a unique and uniquely troubling test because it is the only way to teach us something paradoxical but true and very important about the universe — that trust in our personal experiences with divinity must sometimes outweigh our rational morality. Obedience to the divine commands that come directly to us must sometimes supersede our understanding of earlier commands if we are ever to transcend the human limitations of even our best inherited culture and religion. We must learn, sometimes very painfully, to be open to continuous revelation. We must learn such a lesson partly because truth and history are too complex to be reduced to simple, irrevocable com­mandments — even from past prophets — like “Thou shalt not kill” or “Thou shalt always have only one spouse.” Truth is ultimately “rational,” but it is not always or immediately clear to our present reason."

http://www.eugeneengland.org/on-fidelity-polygamy-and-celestial-marriage   - thanks anona  It's kinda over my head but a good read and plenty for me to study and reread.  I thought it worth the effort. 

Which leads me to my next question - and an answer in one eternal, what does he call it? paradox!  One reason we get bad press, a bad rap don't look good to the world.  I remember that Ayris did a paper and a illustration board to go with it for a display and grade required for History in Junior High.  She did this report on the Mormon trek west in 1846 - 47 her grade was dropped a whole level because she "left out the fact that mormons believe in Polygamy".  So let's talk about that for a second!  Well I've found out today that The World and Religion as a whole have used polygamy at times for different reasons and different purposes I listed some definitions at the beginning maybe they caught your eye, maybe not feel free to re read them now!  So I've been reading off and on since Friday or Saturday night about this topic and really most of this day for more knowledge more answers mainly to confirm what I already do or do not believe I guess.

1. FIrst of all I have found that you can find anything on the internet - anything from Doctrine to - can I say BS? probably not in this blog so let's leave it at - ANYTHING.  I like the quote "Philosophies of Men mingled with scripture".  Although I also understand that Doctrine and BS are relative to what you are looking for and believe.
2.  The fact is and the thing I don't get is the stories are all the same, why is it all confusing anyway?  The scriptures don't change, so why do people really get confused and give us a hard time? for instance; In the Old testament the Prophets talked to God face to face, they got commandement and gave them to the people, they prayed for the people to repent, they (some of them at different times) lived Polygamy Abraham, Jacob and other ancient prophets had plural wives.  Abraham had 2 or 3 and Jacob his grandson had 4 thru these 4 wives we have the 12 tribes of Israel thru them we have covenants and the Priesthood.  A line of heritage, lineage links to blessings.
3. Prophets throughout the scriptures made mistakes.  God needed different wives for different lineage, the lineage travels thru the Mother. I always find it interesting and sometimes question the way that life plays out and then remember that God knew that was going to happen.  I have asked why didn't He just say the second son would always inherit because so many times the first son screws up?  Dare to not judge them. FREE AGENCY. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1984/12/early-signs-of-the-apostasy?lang=eng They had to do things I don't ever want to have to do - ever.  We are the "natural man" we have to and it's part of the Plan to learn to choose Light or Darkness.  I just know I would never have believed I'd live in Valley Nebraska!  I just had to come to earth to see it  happen, to believe it for myself and answer for it!!!  We will talk more about the steps to Apostasy another day.

Well, I've thought and considered and reconsidered this today.  I guess I'm coming back to what I tell my children when they leave the house, "remember who you are" and "You can always find what you are looking for no matter where you are."  I know that I've had to find my own testimony of what I believe.  I've learned that for me I need to do it "ONE THING" at a time.  I've had spiritual experiences to confirm knowledge of a few things, I've had scriptures teach me a few more things, Life teaches me something every day, IF I LET IT... but that's the thing. "IF" I let it.  I can question I can be negative and bitter and - what is it called - a skeptic  - but why? Why not have HOPE.  
The first time I felt hope, that I HAD to feel hope and not be a skeptic was when my sister died If the scriptures hadn't helped me - I read Ether 12:4-7, well I don't want to share exactly where I'd be and I know where that is, cuz I went there when my Daddy died, this was worse and I couldn't go back. 
 Satan is like a Vampire - he has to be invited in. Don't do it.

4Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with ^asurety ^bhopefor a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which ^chope cometh of ^dfaith, maketh an ^eanchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in ^fgood works, being led to ^gglorify God.

 5 And it came to pass that Ether did prophesy great and marvelous things unto the people, which they did not believe, because they ^asaw them not.

 6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

 7 For it was by faith that Christ showed himself unto our fathers, after he had risen from the dead; and he showed not himself unto them until after they had faith in him; wherefore, it must needs be that some had faith in him, for he showed himself ^anot unto the world.

Ok this you can't judge, cuz this is said from my heart with all sincerity;

I went there (to the dark once or twice) because I didn't have a sure enough foundation, an anchor, a faith or a hope or a knowledge of really any "One Thing" except maybe that my Mom was a wonderful faithful heartwarming woman who unconditionally loved me.  I now have Faith in the Scriptures.  I have Faith in promises.  I have watched my sons go on missions grow and change and become converted, I seen my daughters go through crazy life crisises and I've read of the General Authorities between them all I've seen and felt miracles - preaching the gospel, testifying of Christ, Going and Doing.  Personally I believe we can't do our own miracles or get those revelations because we aren't that close to God and Jesus Christ Daily because - we aren't exerting ourselves. 
Just like any motivational speaker or testimony giver I pray and encourage us to exert ourselves every day for the Good, towards Light. This I do know - that when I question, doubt, judge others - I can't breathe, life sucks and darkness falls around me.  Believe me I know I have a long way to go, I have issues and Big Fatty problems - I could, we could fall but it's step by step not a big drop into the dark side, when we loose our families, loose our belief system and once we go there our pride our vanity our lack of willpower and self esteem keeps us there and then what, then we have nothing. The other thing is we are individuals we learn at different paces we understand at different levels we aren't always ready to hear truths and without the Holy Ghost without asking for the Holy Ghost to help us learn that confirmation, that peace and burning and answer aren't going to be there.
It sounds so simple to just say  - either Joseph Smith saw 2 Heavenly Beings and was handed the keys to the Temple by more Heavenly Beings and all that was seen by witnesses who whether they still go to church or not never denied that it happened or it didn't.  But it is that simple  - to me anyway and only because it's one of my "ONE Things" -  it's all in the scriptures we don't need to keep Deseret Book or the Internet or any anti material in business - just read your scriptures and Pray, pray often, with real intent ask your questions there on your knees in prayer and Do It always and Fast, (don't eat - not in a hurry!) fast for yourself and for others, take your questions to the Temple if you can go there. 
Believe me I don't want anyone digging into my mistakes and playing telephone tag with what they learn or anything like unto it and it's my opinion that we all make mistakes and that people are stupid and spread, embellish, blow out of proportion those mistakes and hand them down for generations - after all I am a McCoy I've seen it, I've lived it.   I don't wish that on anyone.  
The gospel is out there in it's many many forms, President Hinckley taught that all religions have a portion of the truth we just want to add to what they already have.  I believe that "One Thing" along with many other "one things" I've added to my foundation along the way One brick at a time.
I believe in the stories in the scriptures even though I don't have a memory and I have to study for hours to remember them to comprehend them to reconfirm their truth, I do believe in their "types and shadows" and in their "patterns". 
Oh my babies! and my family and friends please, keep searching - that is a good character trait - a talent if you will, don't let it turn into a "weakness".  Find that "One thing" that you know is true or that you can just "believe in" today and make it be positive and full of light, something that brings you JOY and not just happiness (for Joy is long lasting - happiness is fleeting) and especially if you think you discovered something knew don't let it bring you pain (if you feel pain, notice depression or darkness RUN!) and do it everyday - EVERYDAY find joy and light carry that image of Christ with you and your day, week, life will be better.  Amen

I hope it makes sense to someone out there I know I learned alot and I'm going to try harder to study and pray more everyday.  

thank you for your questions keep asking them - in the light! Hold on to the Light, cuz truly if it's not One Thing it's Another!