There are several of the best known holidays that have always been special to me and that I've tried to help you kids and your father feel excited about. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July they all are very meaningful to me -- not just for the well known reasons, but because they are significant in drawing a family closer together if that family will allow the deep feelings to develop, that these days arouse.
Perhaps the two days that really meant the to me, though, are Mothers Day and my own birthday. Believe it or not the two seem closely related -- Each year as my birthday comes I feel so grateful to my Mother and to all those that have helped my life amount to the little it does. And since I've had you kids after I thought for so long that I'd be denied that privilege, I just can not express the gratitude I feel for each one of you. And of course for Daddy for helping me to become a Mother!!
As it is a special day for me I'd like to use it as an excuse to do something I try not to do and that is to say some of the serious things that are so often on my mind. They are not new things nor are they different -- so if you do not want to read farther now is the time to toss this in the waste basket.
As each of you has grown up and even matured a little most of the time I've felt pride in your endeavors. Oh and of course there are the little things I've seen or known of that I'd like to change but until the past two years I've always told myself that soon you would remember who you are and why you are here on this earth and make an effort to live as you have been taught. But as I've watched you all get farther an farther away, not only from me (and I do not mean in distance) but from every semblance of religion of worship of God I've had a hard time not doing some preaching!! and some pleading!! to beg you, each one of you to take a long look at yourselves and what you really want -- to realize how short a time the life we live on this earth is and how long the eternities will be and ask if it means nothing to any of you that we cannot be a family in the hereafter if we don't live more righteously and more unitedly here and now. Oh my dear kids how I love you, I'd give anything I have to help you see what you are are doing, even my life if it would help. No one of you is really happy -- no one of you is doing with his or her life what you really want nor what you have been taught and yet their isn't one of you that isn't specifically blessed in one way or another that could be instrumental in make your own life so much more complete. If you'd just read your patriarchal blessing and try to live as you have been taught you'd be much more happy and probably more prosperous!!! At any rate -- may I take this opportunity to bear my testimony to you that I KNOW that God Lives, that He hears and answers prayers and that "IF" we make the effort to keep our lives in tune with His spirit we will (you will) feel an inner peace and joy that nothing earthly can give to us.
My love for each of you is more than I have the capability of expressing. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the desire to just put my arms around you and weep with joy because you came into my life. Thanks to each of you for the much happiness you give to me and for the opportunity to become a little bit more complete person because of the trials you've also brought into my life. Please forgive me for the many times I've failed to give you the right kind of counsel, or been too strict or not strict enough, please know I've tried to do my best but not always been wise.
Remember
I love You,
Mother
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