2017 THEMES! / Happiness Project MashUp

Resolution Table of contents

Word = WORK

Quote = "Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will NOT be sent to you. You have to win it."   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hymn 229

Today, while the sun shines

Today while the sunshine's work with the will today all your duties with patience fulfill today while the birds sing harbor no care call life a good gift call the world fair!

Today seek the treasure better than gold, the peace and the joy that are found in the fold. today seek the gems that shine in the heart; while here, we labor, choose the better part.

Today seek for goodness, virtue, and truth, as crown of your life and the grace of your youth. Today, while the heart beats, live to be true, constant and faithful all the way through.

Today, today, work with the will; today, today, your duties fulfill. Today, today, work while you may; prepare for tomorrow by working today.

Scripture

Alma 13:27-29

And now, ...I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even onto pain, that you would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the date of your repentance;

But that you would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that you may not be tempted above that which he can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long suffering;

Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that you shall receive Eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that you may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

This is the year of my #HappinessProject and with this theme in mind I've added to my Things to do each month;

January = Hearken to His words / Civility / Be True. Honest. Fun. Positive. Moral. and Work on my Marriage Attitude.

February = Repent / Joy /Work. Eliminate. Restore. Books. Clothes. Dishes. (I think I'll be throwing out stuff!)

March = Don't Procrastinate / Mindfulness / Be Smart. Still. Aware. Educated. Humble.

April = More Being Humble / Finances / money. Budgets. Taxes.

May = Prayer / Spirituality / Eternity. Scripture. Conference. Fasting.  find what else it means to be spiritual.

June =  Listen / Leisure / parenting. grand parenting. Forgiveness. Mercy.  

July =JOY Family appreciation

August = Meek /  Resilience / Don't look back longingly. Hows the Marriage and family history book coming along?!Avoid Temptation / Friendship. Visiting Teaching. Restoring (again?). Relish. Make new friendships.

September = Submissive (I hate this word, wish me luck) / Grateful.

October = Patience / Fear not.

November = Full of love / Family is Forever 

December = Long suffering /  Goodwill / peace

With the holidays settling down and moving to the back ground, I just needed to get grounded again and restate the plan!  Remember, kel these are resolutions vs goals, learning from the original Happiness Project that a resolution is something you keep doing next month, while adding the new plan for the new month.  Hope I am not in over my head and anxious to see what I will learn while starting my 6th decade of life! 

Oh I heard you!

August 1, 2016


I'm not here to float along
behind you - I'm just not.

Yes I fear, I am drowning!

There is no more float.

Throwdown Meltdown
Get Up Get Down

Voices coming from?

Positive negative; mom,You, me?
I want my own echo.

Choices - you can't make it for me

Battles within mine
so sick of it all I choose

Choose what Submission

Pray, Pray to who asking for what?

What matters ya'll get your way anyway!

Do I Submit.
Am I Selfish? or Empathetic?
An enabler or Sympathetic?
more like Pathetic!

Find myself Know my heart.
For goodness sake

Be satisfied.
with what?
with who?

I want happiness.

To know a smile.

To laugh, I used to laugh, where has it gone?
I'm jaded and alone
I need to FEEL again.

To make a choice without hesitation
without fear.

Fear of disappointment 

Fear of rejection

Fear of failure
Have faith you say
Have hope I pray
My sincere desire is eternal life
with the Love of Family and God
and self
Love In my own heart.
It's trust
I seek
and peace.
It takes two to not drown.
There is an undercurrent happening
a constant silent conversation going on.
There is white water all around.



It needs work but it's a ruff draft~
isn't that life? a ruff draft
I hope I get to edit and update in the eternities!!!

Self sabotage about happiness

Buying and selling a house is for some easier than for others. This time in particular we had been on a Sunday afternoon drive and we found a house and we actually talked Dad into calling a realtor to go inside and look at it (he didn't ever really let us do that much).  It was just a few short weeks later and we were packed up yet again and moving in.  Everything fit together so smoothly. Some would say - Like it was meant to be! Super stoked, felt very blessed so happy to settle in and belong somewhere.

this is me in Hawaii - "Gitty" with excitement to be there

I was able, allowed, privileged, blessed with the opportunity to go to Hawaii 2 times in my life. Once on a very fun very timely school "field trip" with my daughter and her class to sing and serve thru her choir class her senior year in high school.  I was so excited to go and spend time with her.

Recently I was able, allowed, privileged, blessed to go with my husband, son and 2 granddaughters.  Terrible picture -  I will get to this... this is me "gitty"!

Holy Holy! Super spoiled. I love my mini pool and I am in it almost daily.  Richard spent big bucks on the baby for me and I know that he did it for me.  Inside I was bursting!

These three small experiences are quick thoughts about times when I have felt Happy, excited happy like "come on down", or "Lets make a Deal" jump up and down happy.  But I cannot remember jumping up and down any of these times or for a very long time. That might be a reason people think I am not a happy person.

I started writing this around Mothers Day and so I stopped.  I don't want to be one of "those" people that blames the mom!  So where my thoughts were going seemed non appropriate for the time, let me pick up with this thought.  My Mother was a very good mom. She loved me unconditionally.

Now what I am striving to do is 

1 be happy without her and 

2 learn from how I was raised who I am.

Maybe I mean to say show happiness without her.  I love my daughters all 8 of them! just as unconditionally as I know she loved me.  But this is not about me being a mom, this is about me thinking I can show happiness without hurting or offending another person.

I'm struggling here to write what my thoughts are.  --Obviously.

One day I was communicating with one of my daughters, she suggested therapy.  Is it that obvious I ask myself? Am I unhappy? I suggested to my husband that we go to a Marriage retreat, he said absolutely not and then ask later why would I think we needed to go to that? It all got me to this place where I am still today.

My Mom.

I loved talking to her as a tween, we did everything together. She was my best friend, (well besides Urlene who was more of a sister bff type!). I watched her take me on Vacations, send me to dance, pay bills, discipline, pray all with me and only me. When I was growing up I watched this woman work - she taught me to work to like it and to expect that I'd be doing it all of my life and to find happiness in the completion of a job well done!  I watched her on occasion with my Dad mostly at the dinner table, I don't remember seeing what I would have perceived as happiness, you know joy. I watched her volunteer in many capacities before, after and during church - that is where I saw the passion, the light, the happiness and the joy.  Because my older siblings didn't really participate in the church, I watched her be sad a lot.  (Side note here, as a mom it is frustrating to think you have taught your kids something from a chore to a feeling and see them not care about it) thats what she felt.

From this 2 things happened

1. I thought I was in charge at home and in the marriage and 

2. I've thought - It's my responsibility to save the family, make mom happy and ignore me.

When I say ignore me, what I mean is and didn't realize until just last month. I didn't act happy to be "gitty" around her about stuff, anything because I didn't want her to be sad or have her fillings hurt because I was happy and she wasn't.  And Thus we see I have created a pattern of not showing, displaying even knowing how to express happiness.  If I am "gitty" someone will think I self absorbed someone will be hurt.  I am no better than anyone, I have self control.

Now what?