I "POaST" about my Life --- 1962 ...

I now live in Arizona....

One of the very few FAMILY pics I have with all of us in it 1962 a family vaca to Mexico the only vacation I know of that we all went on, and it was probably just a day trip or maybe a weekend to the border town El Paso!

My Donkey - Chilibeans!  Phx Stable 48th st. and McDowell

When we first moved to Arizona Judyann was complaining that she didn't want to go to church with strangers!
I of course responded to her positively cuz I like people so much with the comment;  "strangers are just people we haven't met yet!"  I am pretty surprised at my outgoingness when I was young!  Daddy was barbering at Luke Air Force Base and Mom quickly got a job at Willis Linen Supply.

Japanese Gardens on Baseline in Phoenix
Daddy Me and Tom  (guy on right?? - it's his donkey!)

The Fashion!

One day in Day Care I fell off the merry go around and was sent to the Hospital diagnosed with Acute Hepatitis.  I was unconscious for 24 hours. The doctors and nurses were surprised when I was cheerful as soon as I woke up.  Mom says I told them "thank you for helping me" immediately!!!

In March Timmy came home from Fort Bragg.  He was headed out to Language school in California down by San Diego his first step to being a Green Beret.

Timmy 

Timmy - Green Beret  - on the job!!

We bought a horse riding stable in Phoenix Daddy named it The Double T Riding stable and tack Company!!! It was the first of many long years spent in a family divided between Mesa and Phoenix and later Tempe town too!  

Phoenix Riding Stable 48th Street and McDowell
Me and Mom, Daddy and Tom behind Judyann

The Family and the Relatives;

Blanding Utah at Grandma and Grandpas

1962 Tom and Lyn Lyman Family

Don Smith Family

THE WORLD AROUND ME;

The Beatles

Although I did not see West side story til much later This is it's year!

The Rolling Stones

Music was changing, media would never be the same!!!

I "POaST" about my life --- 1961 ...

My Dad went on vacation, his first vacation since 1948, he spent two weeks in Phoenix Arizona.  He always hurt because of the cold, so he was also looking for a new warmer place to live.

I had the mumps.  I don't remember much about my home in Colorado, but I remember sheep in the pasture and tending them with my brothers.  I remember the siblings driving fast and crazy down the dirt roads and letting me sit in the back with no safety in place - me being scared to death!  


I remember the dogs.  The chickens. The rabbits.

I remember in the front yard asparagus growing in the ditch and the huge tree that I used to climb in.  

I remember the shoot where we loaded horses and cows into the trailers, along with the scariest dog in the world that was always tied to it because if she wasn't she was eating the chickens or my dolls!  

She was "Relish" a "bird dog" and she belonged to Tom.  Gobby was the family dog she was a "sheep dog" and I believe she was mine! I do remember feeling a companionship with her.  When we move to Arizona Daddy kicks her out of the car leaving her behind to run free.  He said "Someone else will take care of her Obe."  I remember staring out the back window and crying watching her run towards the car and becoming smaller and smaller as we drove away. 






And thanksgiving was spent at my wonderful Grandparents; Gladys and Albert Lyman home in Blanding Utah!

The truck

In remembrance

 of the World in 1961

The Vet

My favorite and where I got my nickname!

The Man Enters Space!

Kennedy Man of the Year

Judyann went to stay with Aunt El and Uncle Blackie in Salt Lake.  Aunt El is sick her gamma globulin is 6 and the doctors tell her she can't live if it is even 4!!  Sis writes about going to Mutual and being in the Dance Festival.  She seems worried about money and is borrowing clothes from friends and "found a swimming suit for $7.00" but she had "no $7.00."  She reports she misses Timmy and wishes she could wish him a happy birthday.  She is doing all of the dishes and cleaning the house!  She hiked Timp and had no sweater so someone loaned her one.  Sad to not go fishing with Aunt El and Uncle Blackie!  She says things about her friend Connie like "she is so sweet and cute", I must say ... this doesn't sound like my sister at all, (no money and talking talking all kind)!!!  She also visited Aunt Enone and stayed with her a few days.  Aunt El insists she needs glasses and is going to take her for an eye exam!

Aunt Els truck and dog - and Kelly Sue!

I'm lookin a little shy there!

Yay It bugs me and I do Have an ax to grind but maybe...

I just want to bury the ax to too 2.....

So this dream contained lots of bugs and axes in the ground atop the openings to the bugs life below ground.!  Trains for travel and Fighting for land. Trees and big huge revienes.  I had this dream in Utah so I didn't (couldn't) blog about it.  But it was documented in my journal and keeps re-appearing so need to post it here so I don't forget and so I can get it out of my head!

To see a BUG in your dream suggests that you are worried about something. It is symbolic of your anxieties and/or fears. What is literally bugging you? Consider also the popular phrase "bitten by the bug" to imply your strong emotional ties or involvement to some activity/interest/hobby/person.

To see an AXE in your dream - is symbolic of destruction, hostility, and the frustrations that you are experiencing. Perhaps you "have an ax to grind" with someone. Or the dream can be a metaphor that you are ready to "bury the ax" and make amends.

the Axes were positioned as they are pictured above ONLY
 placed into the opening of the BUGS homes as seen here.

if you see a freight train, then it refers to the burdens and problems that you are hauling around. It is also symbolic of manual labor.

The freight train couldn't get up out of the huge revienes.  I hoped out of the train and landed in a giant beautiful green tree from there... when I could finally see ahead, the ground was covered as far as the eye could see with axes.

To see lush green tree in your dream symbolize new hopes, growth, desires, knowledge, and life. It also implies strength, protection and stability. 

So much emptiness

How can the house be full of people and the event be kind and special and cozy and wonderful and still I can feel so empty and all alone?

Time changes so quickly, one second life is well.... and then BAM -it's not!  

Without prayers continuly life is much harder. Expectations and heartache are much more deeply felt.

I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't.   

I can give and give and give
Say I'm sorry over and over and over
But when is it enough
When is it really over so the cut doesn't keep cutting deeper and deeper

How can I just forgive myself and not care what or how anybody else feels? How?

The Best way out is always thru

Plow in Hope and Keep moving Forward...

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.  

Luke 9:62

Last Saturday evening I had a great experience reading the scriptures.  I was praying and pondering, meditating about life and a few questions I had.  I felt lead to read Chapter 9 in Luke in the New Testament.   As I read, I wondered what is it that I am suppose to be learning here?  Vereses 37-62 seemed to be my focus.  I read them several times.  Then my eye caught it vs 62; "no man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of heaven."  A few weeks ago someone said to me "I don't look back".  That kinda hit me for some reason.  There are always things to look back on,I thought. But what I've discovered for myself this week is I have been, for the last several months driving forward while looking in the rear view mirror.  

Thus I have made some changes, extreme some may say but I am having hope in the future and digging in with my Plow.  This I am sure will give me more and strengthen the faith I already do have, especially in reading the scriptures, patience and Hope. The Lord's timeing is definitely not always, rarely ever my timing.  But in the last year, I have learned about timing and the importance of handing it over, in Faith, after all that I can do to Him.  Thy will be done.
My theme or motto for myself this year is "Exert yourself, Be Considerate!".  As I read, prayed and pondered over these scriptures Saturday night I thought; to "put your hand to the Plow" is an action it is actually work, it is exerting yourself!!  In my mind I see that if you aren't focused the furrows will be rough and crooked allowing weeds and pour nourishment to flow.  But on the other hand to really drive forward, hold my hand to the plow exert myself I would come clean and have nourished, straight, beautiful furrows and a harvest worth the reward.
In my opinion we should look back to Remember the learning pattern so not to repeat the same mistake.  As the saying goes "We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience."  While treating ourselves poorly, staying down, not getting back up we are not reflecting the character of Christ.  Surround yourself with positive people you trust who want to exert and dig in with you.   Set goals, go back to the "primary answers" Say your prayers (get on your knees in helps in that whole humility thing!), and read your scriptures asking questions and for direction.  
I promise the light will come.  
I felt prompted to do something that scared me after this experience so I ask Richard to give me a Blessing.  This week I've got my hand to the plow, I'm fully engaged - out with the "old me" and in with the new!  No more Depression (cold turkey), I am eating healthy (14 days no Black Soda!), I am cleansing my inner self (fasting), and I plan to go outside my house (be patient with me God!) outside scares me!  Confidence in yourself is sometimes very hard to grasp, I believe with God's help we can forgive ourselves, others and put our hands to the plow and exert ourselves with full confidence   RIght now for me, that might just be a seed of belief, it's a process and writing this is part of that process. In the verses pervious to 62 the man makes excuses for NOT digging right in, I pray to not make excuses for myself not let the bumpy terrain throw me off course, but if it does - to grab the reins and the plow and dig in again, not looking back and falling into darkness but instead, moving forward.  I hope you will too.

For our sakes, no doubt, this is written that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of His hope. 
 1 Cor. 9:10

He's a Distraction

Yep!  I had another dream!!!!

In this dream I see a traveler. Long road canyons, rivers, mountains and trees, cant see who it is, but the scenery is beautiful.

The family is at an event.  I can't tell what it is and we seem to be inside and outside.
  
Then the POWER to the whole place goes off and we move the event, it first looks like a drive Inn then it turns into an inside movie theater.  I can see lots of seats. not so many people.  it's dark I can feel the darkness.  A girl is talking to someone but she has her arms stiff out in front of her.  

She leaves to go outside to see / talk to a guy on a motorcycle!  The sky is blue the grass is tall and yellow they seem to be rather tense.  
I go out to talk to her and I see myself shaking my finger at her like a lecture.  

Then I see a little blonde girl with a white sign the letters are written with Red paint and on it say "Bulbs / Flowers for sale Satsop Bulb farm".  I talked to her I'm not sure what was said but it completely changed my mood.  

So I go sit down to talk to the girl (it's Ayris) explaining she needs to not keep people at arms length so strongly and that the guy on the motorcycle is a "distraction" she needs to get back over to the people, the "event" and be Fun, look fun and be interested in other people.  She should try it out = much like planting a seed to see if it will grow, she could just try it to see if it changed her outlook on life.

When I come back into the theater it's dark again I can feel the darkness.  people are starting to mingle now more people are coming in and out then I see the girl talking and laughing with other girls and boys.  

I see a sparkle in her eye, she definitely has a sparkle in her eye and just as I see it,  the place lights up. 
The Power is back on the light is there again!  The traveler is there now, he is talking to her in the circle of friends they are one and having fun, I try to see who they are, who he is, but I can't....

I'm awake!

I feel like as I write these dreams down, I am seeing the same props (if you will!) and do you know how long it takes me to find the image that really represents what I saw in my dream?  Ridiculous!!!!  Weird, frustrating, interesting, enlightening - I don't know, maybe someday when I look back I'll understand them all!!!

Interp:

Motorcycle - To see or ride a motorcycle in your dream symbolizes your desire for freedom and need for adventure. You may be trying to escape from some situation or some other responsibility in your waking life...maybe you're moving to fast.

Highway - to see a highway in your dream represents your sense of direction and your life's path. Consider the conditions of the highway which will reveal how much you feel in charge of your life. A smooth, straight highway signifies inner peace, while a winding, bumpy road reflects emotional distress/disharmony.

Movie Theater -To dream that you are in a movie theater indicates that you are attempting to protect yourself from your emotions and/or actions. Your subconscious is trying to protect you from experiencing them directly.

The Power is OFF - To dream that the electricity is fried or out indicates your lack of insight and perspective on a situation. 

 so in retrospect after I've writeen this all out as they say "Whats that mean?!!!