Afraid to step off

Consider you are in SLC how do you drive to El Paso?  My huby and I we like the back roads, we take the long way around on all sorts of roads in life in more ways than one!  Why of course you take a four hour drive over mountains... it was beauty let me tell ya Grand Jct to Durango you must do it some time, take the time don't be afraid to step off the main freeway.  Well in some of those pull offs You Should Be Afraid!!! Hwy 550 in Colorado was an often traveled road in my youth. Not a road to be considered lightly! Views are spectacular, extra time should be allowed. It's on this road I had the thought, "don't be afraid to step off".  But then asking myself how to do that as a happily married "couple" well that's been enlightening to consider!!!

the road over the mountain

May 2017... But, I ask; How then are we to step off when our lives are so intertwined with the love of our lives, or our family or our work when we are controlled by other peoples choices - how do we step off on our own?  I can make choices and goals, dream dreams all the day long but when it comes down to it ... if he isn't going to step off with me - their ain't no steppin' off going on!

Feb 2019...I've been hand writing my "blogs" for the most part the past year or so, I do like coming back to see where I was at in my head, what were my thoughts I can see from my last entry more than a year ago I was pretty down and out I like using my blog entries (maybe they only influence or help me) so here I am.  I feel like I write more and in a little more depth of thought when I am typing it out on my blog vs paper so let us see where I am at here in Feb. 2019!         

 Lets back up where am I and why before I see where I am going to step off ....

I started this entry in May 2017! Entitled Afraid to step off, the title jumped out at me today and then in rereading it it seemed to only be gibberish -notes making no sense, yet it is exactly how I feel today  Afraid to step off, make the cut (Feb 21) so I am going to Step off here start blogging again and move forward. I am going to put up or shut up or as my dad would say "shit or get off the pot"!  It's time for me to Not be afraid to step off, afraid of answering the phone, afraid to open the door, afraid to write, to make a choice, to commit.

My Happiness Project Oct 2016-2017 stepped off well!  Executed and followed thru with, I was committed.  I will ever be grateful for my experience #MyHappinessProject.

Endeavour to be... 2018 every month I stepped off into a new goal.  Endeavour to be was in everything.  Megan bought me a necklace that I love and still can feel the desire to step off into endeavouring at something new (example of one of my topics).

My theme for life 2019 is "Consider Your Ways" so I have indeed been doing that with about every choice I have had before me, sometimes to the point of overthinking it.  So far in 52 days we have considered buying A Unity Motorhome, A 32' travel trailer, Trading in our truck for a different bigger beefier Truck, Moving to Texas, then Arizona, then Colorado and back to Arizona!  Each time it seemed "consider your ways" actually talked us out of those choices.  Yesterday we decided to move back to Washington!
Now in considering our ways I have reviewed all our moves searching for Why on earth He would suggest this when he is the one that wanted to prepare to retire in the Sun of the Southwest.  We have been married coming up on 38 years 20 of those years in Washington!! We moved often, we've stepped off lets say into 7 states and more times or houses than years! This is how I see it. Every time we stepped off it was for the purpose bettering the career.  Finally it's time for Us! We are the parents that didn't ever take time away from the raising of our kids, right or wrong in the long run it's what we did and now it's time for us.  And so we ask ourselves - Where do We love living?   We love Washington.  I loved it from the moment I got out of Arizona. He was raised in the PNW so he loves it too.  He asked Where would I live if I could live anywhere? I said Washington and here we go!!! Consider that will ya!!!

Mountain Baker

Now!
We are all moved in.  We have really gotten organized, we have gone on drives, walks, dinners ... now it's time to get back to work.  I have my own space.  He has his.   Some goals, some dreams require only one of you to step off, some require 2.  I'm not good at dreaming or imagining even which makes me afraid of stepping off of everything.  Of that which I can control I commit as I did in 2016 to step off and be productive.  Consider my old ways and better them, improve everyday everyday everyday to be a little better.  When you are not bread winner you have limitations, you can't just step off when and where ever you want.  You kinda have to follow the job.  It's a complete drag.  I feel like I let that make me dependant and more subservient than I pictured myself ever being. Control your choices to the edge of what you can control.

Neptune Beach just above Lummi Bay

 I am hoping and dreaming and imagining taking back some of my choices.  I will blog, write, sort, quilt, travel walk, maybe hike again someday!!! I consider it time to step off, I don't have much time left.  How many chances can a girl get anyway?

Last night I debated posting this, its committing myself if I do right!  This is my problem being afraid to step off to commit to be consistent with my goals, dreams and lets just say it - My expectations of myself -- I gotta step off.

again i say - Wish my luck!

Consider your Ways

My 2019 Project

My life is stupid cool!

My grandson inspired me while visiting Vermont with the inspiration that my life is indeed stupid cool!  Well we might of heard Kelly Clarkson say it on The Voice, but no matter it gives me joy and reminds me of goodtimes with "Tiny" who isn't tiny any more!  Thus we see my sub theme for the year 2019, in the process of considering my ways I will remember how stupid cool my life is.

So the following is an outline for the year 2019 it's my plan to return here and report the progress of considering my ways.

Hot air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque 

Outline for the year 

Consider your ways!

What’s in my heart?

Action speak louder than words 

Remember 

The doctrine is an eternal and changing “true doctrine understood change his attitude and behavior”

By Bishop Gérald Caussé

"are we active in the gospel, or are we merely busy in the Church? I promise you that as you strive to be on the Lord’s agenda, nothing will become more important than finding those people you can help and bless At church you will focus on teaching individuals and touching their hearts. Your concern will be to foster a spiritual experience rather than organize a perfect activity, to minister to your fellow members rather than check a box for the number of visits you have made. It will not be about you but about  them..."

Talk Now is the time oct 2018 

Talk  consider your ways April 73 L Tom Perry

Each move one makes is a risk, and if one thinks too long one does not move at all, for fear of what may come, and so becomes immobile, crouched in a shell, fearful of any move.
-Louis L’Amour

Hymns —

Put your shoulder to the wheel 252 

Have I done any good 223

We are sowing

Come follow me

If I listen with my heart

Lord, I would follow thee 220

Who’s on the Lords side who 260

True to the faith 254

enjoy this playlist

A-Z each month a topic to consider

January

A my kids  attitude Answers‼️

J my sister Journals
Z Zane  zeal zealots Zionism 

February

BOM asking what are it's precepts?
Time
Money
Yoga

I feel restless with an urgency to be doing‼️

Be careful with your time. “Time is important; you can waste a lot of it if you are not careful.” 

March

Communication.  Covenants.

Quote. mix it up... Knowledge without character 

Prepare and pursue your education. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, “education is a religious responsibility pres nelson in Rome Italy

April

Direction organization 

Quotes. mix it up...Worship without Sacrifice

Know your purpose. “You were sent to earth for a reason. Find out what that is. .. Apply your knowledge to the benefit and blessing of other people.” Pres nelson in Rome Italy

“We need to get up off the couch, put down the remote, and wake up from our spiritual slumber. It is time to put on the full armor of God so we can engage in the most important work on earth.”

—@NelsonRussellM #GeneralConference

May

Economy
Value 

Feast on the words of the Lord. “It doesn’t matter what your career is or what your circumstances may be…. If you will read the scriptures daily, you will have spiritual life insurance.” Pray about all of your matters. “Constantly consult the Lord.”

June

Family search
Unity
New Hobby

July

Genealogy TenderMercies

Trust

August

How to...
Individual women from my tree

September

Reconcile daily life. Retirement. MylifeisStupidCool

October

Screentime
Queens of the world 

November

Potential. Precepts
X crossroads

December

LovePureLoveisthis
OneThing organization

I Belong

I belong no where

I belong to no one

I belong no where

I belong to Christ

I belong no where

I belong to my parents

I belong to the desert

I belong no where

I belong to the Northwest

I belong no where

I belong to the cowboys

I belong no where

I belong to the 70s

I belong no where

I belong to the mountains

I belong no where

I belong to my headaches

I belong no where

I belong to my memories

I belong no where

I belong to my babygrands

I belong no where

I belong to the clouds

I belong no where

I belong to no one

What does Covenant, Repentance and Forgiveness have to do with Friendship

#TrueFriend  

In my scripture study last week I was reminded of the importance of a #TrueFriend.  I have only a few, but as I read I liked the importance and commitment of being a  #TrueFriend what a great story.  Sometimes I think we really know way too much about David, from his start in war with Goliath to his start on Pornography from the roof tops!! The thing is, he is a good man, it's a human story of striving to do Gods' will and be a #BetterMan.  I very much like the lessons Jonathan teaches (I think he doesn't get enough credit which is what the story is really about right!) the lessons I want to apply are his principles and actions concerning friendship and hope, as I strive to be more like David and Jonathon than like Saul in my everyday life.

“All of us will be tested and all of us need true friends to love us, to listen to us, to show us the way and to testify of truth to us, so that we can retain the companionship of the Holy Ghost YOU must be such a True Friend.” Eyring

“Everyone needs good and true friends. They will be a great strength and blessing to you. They will influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. They will help you be a better person and will make it easier for you to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards.

To have good friends, be a good friend. Show genuine interest in others; smile and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, and refrain from judging and criticizing those around you. Do not participate in any form of bullying. Make a special effort to be a friend to those who are shy or lonely, have special needs, or do not feel included.

As you seek to be a friend to others, do not compromise your standards. If your friends urge you to do things that are wrong, be the one to stand for the right, even if you stand alone. You may need to find other friends who will support you in keeping the commandments. Seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost as you make these choices.” For the Strength of Youth

“there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those. Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving.” Holland

Marvin J Ashton excerpts of a talk entitled “What is A Friend” 1972;

·      Someone has said, “A friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am.” Accepting this as one definition of the word, may I quickly suggest that we are something less than a real friend if we leave a person the same way we find him.  There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence. Listen to talk here.

·       As we more fully strive to comprehend the significance of friendship, the more our appreciation should increase for the truths found in the following quotation:   “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (James 1:27.)

·       It is well for us to be reminded that we are friends to ourselves when we keep our lives unspotted from the sins of the world and leave ourselves better tomorrow than we are today. It is a worthy daily goal to be a true friend to one’s self.

·       Our responsibility to the widow and the fatherless is to accept them as we find them, but to not leave them without improvement. Ours is to lift the heavy heart, say the encouraging word, and assist in supplying the daily needs.

·       Aren’t we something less than a friend if we have the gospel of Jesus Christ and are unwilling to share it by word and example with a family, a member, neighbor, or the stranger? Aren’t we something less than a friend if we have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and are unwilling to share it?

·       A friend is a possession we earn, not a gift.*

·       It was Emerson who said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” No one can be a friend until he is known. A friend is a person who will really take the time not only to know us, but to be with us. One of the finest presents you can give anyone is your best self.

·       No greater reward can come to any of us as we serve than a sincere “Thank you for being my friend.” When those who need assistance find their way back through and with us, it is friendship in action. When the weak are made strong and the strong stronger through our lives, friendship is real. If a man can be judged by his friends, he can also be measured by their heights.

·       How can we help a friend? An Arabian proverb helps us answer: “A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

Yes, a friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me

I bear you my witness that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is our friend. In his loving processes of command, rebuke, greeting, revelation, encouragement, and long-suffering, he daily proves this. *Certainly he is willing to take us the way we are, but he wants to leave us improved in his word and his paths.

This is what I heard!

Recently I had the opportunity of listening to and seeing the leaders of the

  Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints  

Thinking it was a pretty uplifting conference I thought I'd share my notes!

Plus it's just good for me to have here to refer back to!

Speaker   Promised Blessings (if then Statements)   We were taught (compare to Look Up in the OT)

Speaker   Promised Blessings (if then Statements)   We were taught (compare to Look Up in the OT)

Speaker   Promised Blessings (if then Statements)   We were taught (compare to Look Up in the OT)

I think it a deep thought that in this world we actually need some place to teach and remind us to just be good and while doing so just be nice to others and to ourselves.

#Endeavour  #endeavortobesmart  #April #MyEndeavourProject   because of #MyHappinessProject

Endeavour to be FUN!

I find myself today grateful that my kids have married into fun families!!!

As Richard and I look back at our childhood we both say "we didn't really have fun families." Our family time just wasn't that chatty, game playing laughing fun time we see other families have.  We had both wanted our kids to be raised in a fun family.   In looking back we thought we made life fun, but observing our kids in-laws' families,  especially our sons we know now, we just didn’t know how to do that!

My childhood idea of fun

When my brother threw me down and hog tied me - laughing and smiling or when he would drop me down in the hay bails so I couldn’t get out laughing all the while,  I thought we were having fun. When my sister would take me on trips and we would pick up hitch hikers, or my brother would let me drive to school in the 9th grade because he was hung over.  I thought we were having fun because everyone was smiling and laughing, even if I wasn’t.

When Richard was left on his own to run the streets or turned loose on the family vaca in exchange for the parents "adult time" - he thought alone, unsupervised time was his family fun time!

Us raising kids to have fun

When we had kids I expected him to help me thinking he would know how to have fun,  and today he  said he "didn’t know how and probably didn’t care he was trying to make a living"!!!
Life is hard right?  And Thus We See...We didn't grow up in families that "had laugh out loud fun"!

Fun playing out in life ... or Not

It’s so interesting to me then, what you as a child are raised to believe is fun, because of what you see the adults do in your life.

So today for the first time I guess I’m thinking having a fun family is hereditary and conditioned on knowing how to have a fun family already! Hum!!! HEr me, we are not dissing our parents at this point we are learning, researching, gaining information so as to break cycles for future generations.

Break the Cycle!  Endeavour to Be Fun!

Accepting this knowledge doesn't have to stymie the family fun.  This year with my whole Endeavour Project I will find a way for my family to be and have so much fun it will start a new cycle.  Break old patterns and achieve that laugh out loud, be Dang Fun Fun status!  Building memories is what my present state of life is!  Endeavour to be ... Dang Fun!

MyHApPiNeSsProJecT 2017 - A ChRisTmaS LeTteR!

This years' Christmas letter has been 19 days in the works!  I just can't seem to find a place to start, I went back and read other letters, looking for inspiration, I instead just made a card a picture book, but it just ain't right is it to not write a Christmas letter; at least for me! So... here goes nothin kids 2017 Christmas summation, history, tales, in review, account for trials and count your many blessings.

This was the year of -- My yearly theme and MyHappinessProject merged into a Mash Up...

Yearly theme -it always has a quote, music,scripture and a WORD!

Word = WORK

Quote = "Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will NOT be sent to you. You have to win it."   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hymn 229

Today, while the sun shines

Today while the sunshine's work with the will today all your duties with patience fulfill today while the birds sing harbor no care call life a good gift call the world fair!

Today seek the treasure better than gold, the peace and the joy that are found in the fold. today seek the gems that shine in the heart; while here, we labor, choose the better part.

Today seek for goodness, virtue, and truth, as crown of your life and the grace of your youth. Today, while the heart beats, live to be true, constant and faithful all the way through.

Today, today, work with the will; today, today, your duties fulfill. Today, today, work while you may; prepare for tomorrow by working today.

Scripture

Alma 13:27-29

And now, ...I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even onto pain, that you would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the date of your repentance;

But that you would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that you may not be tempted above that which he can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long suffering;

Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that you shall receive Eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that you may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

 #HappinessProject and with this theme in mind I've added to my Things to do each month;

January = Hearken to His words / Civility / Be True. Honest. Fun. Positive. Moral. and Work on my Marriage Attitude.

February = Repent / Joy /Work. Eliminate. Restore. Books. Clothes. Dishes. (I think I'll be throwing out stuff!)

March = Don't Procrastinate / Mindfulness / Be Smart. Still. Aware. Educated. Humble.

April = More Being Humble / Finances / money. Budgets. Taxes.

May = Prayer / Spirituality / Eternity. Scripture. Conference. Fasting.  find what else it means to be spiritual.

June =  Listen / Leisure / parenting. grand parenting. Forgiveness. Mercy.  

July =JOY Family appreciation

August = Meek /  Resilience / Don't look back longingly. Hows the Marriage and family history book coming along?!Avoid Temptation / Friendship. Visiting Teaching. Restoring (again?). Relish. Make new friendships.

September = Submissive (I hate this word, wish me luck) / Grateful.

October = Patience / Fear not.

November = Full of love / Family is Forever 

December = Long suffering /  Goodwill / peace

Remember, these are resolutions vs goals, learning from the original Happiness Project that a resolution is something you keep doing next month, while adding to the new plan for the new month.  And Thus we see from all the experiences of the year I am resolved to be happy!!!!

The ABC's of 2017 A Happiness Project Year

A = Appraiser! He's the man, he makes the bucks, he is how we pay the bills and so for that reason life happens to us in lots and lots of places!  This year Richard Eugene finished all the requirements for and received his MAI!  He is an official big deal appraiser now!!! I'm so proud of him.  He is presently working as the Chief Operating Appraiser for Ag New Mexico Farm Credit.  One of Richards work trips took us to San Diego early in the year where we stayed at a beautiful place with beautiful views - Thanks so much AMC!

B = Bluff, Utah Can any one be outdoors and not think spiritually, I can not. Interesting to note "Spirituality" was MyHappinessProject for May, it happened like that all year!  What a beautiful drive this was just me and Richie on our first adventure in our new car.  The topography was and is beautiful the red rocks bring me in and make my thoughts and visions dream of what  and how life can be reminding me how grateful I am to be of the heritage that I am.  They have made a Fort here, a museum about the people who settled the area.  My great grandfather and mother were part of this settling.  I really appreciate how we can move and where we can live after being reminded of my ancestors and how and where they lived. 

C = Clarks I feel like I grew up with Marty and Lovena, even though we met while we were in our 30's I have indeed "grown Up" alot since we've been friends!!!  In May we went to Blake Island, it was a great day. We love Seattle and had not ever been, in all these years over to this Island. The dinner, the show the conversation - well it was delightfully memorable.

D = Drives  We love to go for a drive wether it be on a back road or a freeway, although I much prefer the backroad these days.   I was very blessed to be able to drive to be a witness to the beautiful fun lovely wedding of Stephanie and Kyle. 

We wish them much love and congratulations.    We took many a ride throughout Washington this year. To Lake Chelan, To Seattle - hate hate hate the traffic there, down to Vancouver to see the Parkers.

  One of my Favorite drives was when we drove the loop - Hood canal, Port Angeles, mean 'ol Forks and back thru Elma and up to Port Townsend to take the fairy home.  

Richard had to go to Denver for a conference.  I tagged along great drive right up I-25! What a great city beautiful fun and edgy.  I went to go out on my own and see the sights while he was conferencing and just stepped out of this amazing hotel and tripped, rolled, popped up and walked on like nothing ever happened but for 3 weeks I couldn't move I bruised my ribs I guess, it's embarrassing and ridiculous.  Richard was not impressed with my then I don't wanna play any more attitude!  I kept thinking about all the times Tom hurt his ribs bronc and bull riding, I had NO idea how much it could hurt.  

When AMC came to visit we took a quick trip over to Roswell what a fun day.  I really do enjoy them they are just a fun family. The aliens did not get us and take us away but we still had fun.  I am so grateful and happy to have those 3 around.  Ya know we used to live in Roswell, and the memories just flow back in the mind.

E = Emmaline B. Wells My person I picked for MyHappinessProject to learn from.  She inspires me because she encouraged learning and didn't rest on her laurels!  She was productive and fought for her rights and the those of all women.  She even in her older years was active engaged and positive thru all kinds of trials and the life that was dealt her.  I really liked it when she said "I believe in women, especially thinking women."

F = Family Gathering Words cannot easily express my gratitude for the expense and effort of our kids making Utah happen this year.  I was so blessed to have all 19 of us in the same place sharing this experience. Religion and Politics left at the door the spirit of giving, chatting, hugs and love was sweetness and Joy.  We went to Top Golf and wore our cool family shirts it was a blast.  Sean, who knows not of golf was showing off his stuff. We did crafts and some of them ran in the Freedom Run.  It was wonderful to have everyone there to bless McEG! and for them all to hear Richard share his testimony.  One day we thought we'd lost Shawn to all our chaos and he was the only one outside in the scorching heat entertaining the cousins - Good on you Shawn!  Anona came prepared with the most fun family games - good thing none of us are competitive!  Amric and Megan took some treasured pics for the memory books!

G = Georgia Peaches When my niece Tami and nephew Tim would come to visit my Daddy would always call them; Georgia Peaches. They have both moved on to a better world and left behind family and loved ones.  This year Richard took me to Georgia and I finally got to meet the children of my Tim Michael Jr. (well 2 out of 3 of them)what a special blessing this has been for me.  It has been so long in coming that I only hope that they don't just say; that was anti climatic and move on.  I remember my family thinking that Tim was "too young to go off and get married".  Who knew how short a time he'd have here on this earth and how blessed are we are that he left us with children who have made wonderful lives for themselves. He has 9 grandkids now, just like me!   
Returning to MyHappinessProject, November was; to be full of love and remember Family is Forever!!!!  I kid you not the theme played out every month!!!

H = Hiking  I weigh to much and I'm getting up there in age. I can't hike like I used to and don't even try out of fear of death!  We went to Golden Gate Park with Austin in the heart of San Fran and we drove the famous windy/curvy roady made of bricks (hiking was not involved but walking was definitely required).  It was awesome.  In April Anona went off on a all girls rafting trip and I stayed with Austin and the girls doing mom chores!  Papi flew down and surprised me not wanting to spend Easter alone, I think!  Then off Austin Eugene took us to hike in the San Fran area.  We went to Muir Woods it was beautiful and RAINING!  I love those old trees.  The tree timeline is my theme of life love and family - I just love it and all that it stands for - get it --Stands of trees / they stand tall!   

 Then in May we took a trip to Albuquerque and I barley hiked in Sandia Park but enough to remember to write it down!  In August we hiked up to the Gila Cliff Dwellings and I really lived out the saying; "I can do hard things"!  In September we hiked with Austin's family down into and then back up out of a 'Cave with no Name" in Boerne Texas. Oh, I hear what you are saying "they aren't hikes"!  But for me and my house they were!!!  
Note to self 2018 get healthy! again!!!!

I = Inventions I'd be lost without my connection to my kids. This comes with cell phone and the Internet. What a great invention! It's also a way that I continue to learn and a link to my religion lds.org! It's amazing the family history I can do on my phone! Use new inventions wisely!!

J = Jordan  Richard started the year out helping AMC move from Logan.  Amric Megan and Colton spent this year in the Jordans! We had great fun visiting them.  Amric has a new job at E-trade and he loves it there.  They both go to school online and have followed suit, moving 3 times this year and now owning a home in West Jordan.  They cared for Kate while AA went somewhere! We all went bowling together it was a blast, they are a very fantastic fun filled Aunt and Uncle. 

K = Kelly turned 60 I was a little shy about this birthday and nervous about what comes next.  Apryl was hip to my inner most feelings and she showed up in Washington to both console me and celebrate with me.  We went to a fancy dinner. We ate tacos at the local gas station! We talked, watched TV, did a puzzle, and just like that she was gone! Thank you Apryl Ann for taking the sting out of 60! As Apryl flew away, so did we - off to Utah to visit, have a dinner with the kids and then off to Arizona to continue the celebration!  Richard had it all planned out for me, he's the bestest!

L = Las Cruces In August we bought a home in the southwest. As close to the Mexico border as we were to the Canada border!  Where we have scorpions, snakes, coyotes, rabbits, and bugs of all kinds.  Where it's hot but it cools at night.  Where the sun shines brightly.  Where someday in the next 30 years we will retire.  I don't know why really, because I'm not sure what Richard would do all day.  Next year we are planning to stay home not go any where just live the life here becoming involved in the church and community - it's harder to call it home if you aren't involved, serving and striving to  be All In!!!  We have been so happy to have all the kids come visit, except for Larkins - they really do love us, I just know it!  
Now how do you read that?? they love us so they came to visit or even though Larkins haven't been here yet I know they love us!!!! either way is acceptable!

M = Michael Eugene In May I popped on down to Utah to hang with Ayris and get to know Shawn Michael a little better. A great time was had by all!  I did get to know them all abit better and it was the first time I really got to hang out in Ayris' domain since she and Shawn tied the knott.  Anyway we have number 9 he is adorable.  I love that kid.  We Love him, I like to call him McEG!  Ayris is being a mom now and Shawn a Dad. 

N = Nachos are the traditional meal after church for me and my babygrands!  I went to San Francisco in February to stay with the girls.  I was petrified for this trip because I hadn't ever driven around there on the freeways and the anxiety was flaring it's ugly head so I talked Richard into going with me.  We read books, We walked, We went to the San Carlos Airport Museum, McDonalds, In and Out and we had Nachos, after we all went to church on Sunday!  

O = Ordained Can you believe it?  Vaughn turned 12 this year!! the goal was to get to him in Vermont for his birthday and the ordination of the Priesthood, but life happened.  So sorry Vaughn.  But we are so excited for you to be 12 and be learning new responsibilities and finding your strengths, beliefs and the what things you really love.   Also I love that you text me!! Love love love!!!

P = Pool Did I mention we are building, digging, cementing -- putting a pool in our back yard? We are and it only "cemented"! the reason we have never built a house together!  But it's going to be a beautiful backyard paradise /stay 'cation and I am anxious to have water to look at again!

Q = QX60 While I was in Utah and Richard was at home doing homework and finishing up his MAI he sold the boat and the Armada and bought me a new car!  For Mothers Day he drove it down, surprised me and bringing me wheels for my stay. I only mention this here because I needed a Q!   I am ever grateful to have dependable transportation.  We have had some vehicles that's for sure!  We came into our marriage with my Germlin and his Honda 350motorcycle.  

R = Rens In October we were invited to a baptism! A Ren Baptism!! Marcela took the lessons, invited to do so by their neighbors and friends and She said Yes!!! Matthew and his fam are going to church! I know I'm a little too excited about this.  Gram would be pleased and so would Sis, it makes me happy too.  Congrats M Rens!  I'm so glad we are closer to them now so we could get to see them more often and reconnect our family bond!  

S = Samish Island  This is the first time he said "we won't move again".  This is where I retired.  This home felt like I was always in paradise or on vacation. Living at the furthest most east end of the San Juan Islands was aMaZing, it felt so calm and peaceful everyday of my life there. This is where Amric came home from his mission. Where All of the Larkins visited for the summer. Where the Noyes' took a ride with us, in our not for the ocean boat - into the ocean - to picnic! Where Amric and Megan came to live with us for just a precious few months, and where they told us they were going to have Colton!  Where we ate crab straight from the ocean. Where eagles visited everyday.  Where we brought the girls to stay with us and swim daily for hours in the swimspa!!!  Where Ayris and Shawn surprised us for a  thanksgiving visit and told us they were having Michael.  This is where I tried to garden for real.  Where Richard created and worked so hard on landscaping! This is where we had the best house dog - I had a house dog!!!  This is the best little 4th of July Parade around!  

Sometimes in life you don't move forward, you don't really progress you become slothful!  I believe this is what had happened to me in my paradise.

 Without the everyday text from Urlene I might have not talked to a sole there in my solitude.  I mean I like being alone, but.   

With us being gone so much we also had to rehome our Winston, as much as I didn't really want a dog I was sad to see him go.  The other day I when I was unloading Christmas I got the socks out and Winstons' was there it made me cry!   

Anyway I do get side tracked ...  As much as I didn't want to leave there, I felt we were in a rut of our own creating and I didn't know how to dig out - and I do know how to move!  I didn't handle retirement, empytnesterness very well.  I let my anxiety get to me. I became lonely and of no use. I asked myself; how can you love something so much and be a total wreck?   This is why it was ok for him to break his promise and move us again. I will always, always refer to this home as a paradise, a transition place of beauty.  The eagles, the water, the soundproof house, I totally felt safe there.  
 If you are ever down and out I recommend the scriptures.  TheHappinessProject and The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up if you ever need a little prompt too or a little "hey wake Up". 

This Christmas letter has given me the opportunity to Remember the good, the Happy, the treasured moments here.  We did so much while at this address I will always be grateful for the time we lived on our own little Samish Island. 

T = Thanksgiving brought home The Sobczaks, The Fieldings and The Rens a real treat!  We had 15 people in our 2 bedroom home.  Having thanksgiving and more family together reminded me of how I was raised and what we did traditionally, having Matthew here made it even more so because I knew he could remember too and I wanted it to really be traditions he would remember striving to really make that connection stronger again.  At the same time recognizing other families traditions have been added to ours, like pull apart bread vs plain ol rolls!  Candy vs Cookies --Well Iris Ayris and I made candy and it turned out great and we had gravy for breakfast! And yes daddy we had pumpkin pie and said the traditional quote!!!  "Hello Vi this is Sy there is Shit in that pumpkin pie"!!!!   Marcela made us Pumpkin roll, Posole and barbacoa for tacos - Delicious!!! Austin made a Pecan pie I'm so proud of him nice job! We loved Anonas' German Chocolate cheesecake.

We all went to see Coco - we waited for almost an hour for the dang movie to start! But what a great message; REMEMBER ME!

Glad to have everyone here at the new house to update the quote wall and the measurement wall!  

We Hope to see YOU all in the summer for swimming and visiting!!! You are always welcome, anytime.  Sam gave me a new nickname that of KellyMcSue! I like it, I think it'll stick!  Gosh I love those girls.

U = Urlene and Mike When we went to Arizona while there we went to the Movies, Falcon Field Airport Museum, Golfing and to Tombstone with the Shelbys. We of course went out to eat and Urlene made me Cherry pie - my favorite!!   All and all turning 60 wasn't as bad of an experience as I had imagined. Thanks to family and friends.

V = Vermont For Apryls birthday I returned her present by dropping in, a few months late (suppose to be for V bday) but anyway dangit we were there.  We want to see their new place and we froze to death in the process and it's only November!!!!  We went to see Thor because that's just what we do!  We got to go to church and meet the new peeps and Richard even went to hang out with Sean at his work!  Holy smokes we got to watch Gage play soccer, he totally took one for the team when he stopped a goal that picked him up and dropped him like a wet rag into the net!!!  Apryl has a dog - now isn't that crazy.  They named her Luna and she seems to love and be loved by everyone. Happy 36 Apryl Ann!  You know I was 36 when I had AmricZane!  Pax was busy with gymnastics and has stories for us always, but what I like is that she loves to listen to stories something not to many of us appreciate doing.  

W = What if  Richard wasn't really interested in changing jobs, he'd found a great branch of people and he very much liked his place of refuge there at NWFC.  I was the one that ask, "What if...".   

Austin Sobczaks too ask "What if" - on their way to Texas!

NWFC 

Ag NMFC

X = CrossRoads  When I lived in the LA area, well I was young I just drove not knowing always where I was going. Somehow I just believed if I took the wrong freeway it would cross back over to the one I wanted on down the line! Probably not the fastest way to get where you want to go!!  All of us have a cross road should we go left or right?? First of all Don't judge others. Remember to say your prayers and remember that life happens.  If you find yourself on the wrong road  - go for a drive, turn around, just keep moving! This old gal says it plays out for you good in the end, if you choose not to stand still, stop moving, stop praying or stop loving. So just keep moving, every cross road has another direction up ahead, you'll find the right freeway - if you keep moving forward.  philosophy101ksms!!!   

2017

Y = Yesterday I had alot of family history type goals this year.  Because of all the time away from home and the big move most of these goals will be moved forward to 2018.  I had one that I did complete though it was to copy photos from all the scrapbooks.  I did this and had quite a slideshow for the kids at the family gathering in July.  
Yesterdays' are bittersweet!  am I right?!

2007

Z = Zoned out!  When this letter started I had zero feelings. I think it was Urlene that pointed out I "had turned off my feelings, zoned out".   Writing is great therapy and allows for me to work thru my issues!  Ayris WRITE!  all of you write!!! I tend to be reactionary, if you know me at all.  I need a date to get dressed, I need visitors to clean, I need Christmas to write this letter!!!  
As 2018 approaches my desire for us is to discover our purpose, to seek out what is the point, to ask what does it matter?  who matters? what is the One thing I believe in, what is my foundation?  Finding these answers I believe will cause us to endeavor for the good, the better part of ourselves. My goal for myself is to move without being compelled, to act on something because it's who I am not because I feel obligated or guilty. 
Let us not be slothful. Let us not zone out.   Gordon B. Hinckley said it like this: "Let’s try: Be Grateful. Be Smart. Be Clean. Be True. Be Humble. Be Prayerful. I have not the slightest doubt that these patterns of behavior will yield success and happiness and peace. I recommend them to you, with a promise that if you will follow them your lives will be fruitful of great good. I believe you will be successful in your endeavors. As you grow old, I am satisfied that you will look back with appreciation for the manner in which you chose to live."  

From our house to yours  

Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year!